grief 002

The speaker asks God for help in understanding healthy grieving and finding tools to cope. They acknowledge the importance of surrendering and avoiding harmful actions. They describe the emotions that arise after sharing their thoughts and mention the need to process and find ways to move forward. They express their reliance on a higher power and the desire to label their feelings and make amends. They express hope for a future filled with curiosity and joy, and a desire to let love into their life. They mention the possibility of making amends and reflect on the roots of their rage. They pray for those who haven't found help yet and express their farewell with a sense of sadness. God, just for today, let me find out what healthy grieving is for me today. Let me find tools to help me. And let me find surrender. By admitting the things I would be wise not doing. There is nothing wrong adding safety with a limited driver license. There is nothing wrong adding safety with a limited driver license. There is nothing wrong adding safety with a limited driver license. There is nothing wrong adding safety with a limited driver license. You know, after sharing or writing an inventory I can be sad, angry, triggered. Those feelings can fill up my internal landscape. Sometime in those internal landscapes I saw bridges collapsing. Or sometimes I saw highways I decide no longer to use after writing that inventory. Truth is, even in those situations there is a next best action. May I find what that is for me. If I saw a bridge collapse. May I offer time for me to process it and then perhaps find a broom or other tools to join the clean up crew. Cause I am never alone in that boat honey. Cause I am never alone in that boat honey. And if I see a blocked highway. May I reprogram the GPS to find another highway to get me where I am going. May I reprogram the GPS to find another highway to get me where I am going. Help me remember I no longer need to take the first drink to manage this situation. Or find some other sort of way to get numb and resentful. I can indeed try to find a way to hash it out with me. Because even just the attempts, they count too, they add up to calibrate a way towards processing my grief without self harm. Also, please, let me be able to hand over, all that generated resentment, to you dear higher power. Also, please, let me be able to hand over, all that generated resentment, to you dear higher power. I just know that those things are always better off in your hands. So God, please allow me to find ways to objectively and constructively label my feelings, of regret, resentment, and loss. I know your love is limitless. And I would like to find the courage, to find my amends. Cause I know I lost enough days in resentment, or in numb hate. I'm good with that research. I just happen to know, that I am worthy of your love, and of your guidance. Even through this seemingly impossible situation. You know what would sound nice? Having curiosity, and joy about my upcoming days. That would sure be nice. I have hope, cause I know, that your love could guide me to disengage from obsessive thinking, or plod in revenge. I would rather get busy figuring out how to let the love into my life. Would be nice to make me proud by noticing my minute in this moment. Would be nice to remember, I don't need anyone's permission, to validate, and acknowledge, those feelings and needs. And breaking loose. If I look outside my audition, I may find, an amend I can do. This very minute, as the next right one for me. Would be nice to find that action, on one side of the street corner. Would be nice to find with grace, with kindness, with patience, with forgiveness. I could see, that perhaps, all of my rage could be rooted, in my regret. That I couldn't protect me, from those intricate moments of abuse. Let me be brave and admit my truth to God, so he can hear my fears and see tears and we heal the moments. Thinking of tomorrow, with the sunset in your eyes. To close out, let us pray for those, who don't have access to the program yet. May I see and recognize them sooner. With more objectivity and love. For the greater good. Amen. Bye, bye. Baby, goodbye. With the sunset in your eyes. I feel everything in sorrow. So I have to say goodbye. Thinking of tomorrow. With the sunset in your eyes. I feel everything in sorrow. So I have to say goodbye.