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The speaker begins by introducing a song parody of Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" with altered lyrics referencing Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano. They then mention their tendency to isolate their audience, comparing it to their experience as a blocker in high school football. The second premise is about job postings, where the speaker sarcastically comments on an ad for a fast-paced and exciting work environment, stating that if they wanted that, they wouldn't be looking for a job. They humorously mention their own forgetfulness and preference for wearing sweatpants. The speaker concludes by jokingly asking for four weeks of vacation and snacks in the break room. Alright, welcome to another weekly edition of Matt's Open Mic. I'm going to start with an idea that probably nobody will like. I'm isolating maybe like three people. People that like singer-songwriters and sitcoms from the 80s. This is a song parody. You've all heard Elton John's song, Tiny Dancer, which I'm going to sing right now. But I'm going to mix it up and see if you can catch the part that is unique. Softly, slowly. Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Count the headlights on the highway. Lay me down in streets of Lennon. Preferably with Alyssa Milano. Alright, people. That's what I do. I isolate my audience. I think that's from my days of being a blocker in high school football. Isolate and drive block. That song was my version of drive blocking. Alright. Premise number two. Another instant gold classic. Job postings. I've been looking for a job lately. And I read one that actually said, Do you want to work in a fast-paced and exciting environment when two days... Alright. Moving on to number two. This is gold, people. Job postings. Moving on. Mining for moral... Moving on to the second premise. Let's keep mining for gold. Job postings. I've been looking for a job lately. And I read that job. One of the job titles was, Do you want to work in a fast-paced and exciting environment when no two days are the same? No. Not really. If I did, I probably wouldn't be in a position where I needed to look for another job. Not would I. Look, I've lost my keys six times in the last week. And I went 30 for 30 as far as days wearing sweatpants last month. So, in summary, let's do this. Let's do this. Can I get a bump up to four weeks vacation, boo? Can I get a bump up to four weeks vacation? Y'all got snacks in that bake... Fuck. Y'all got snacks in that break room.