In this conversation, the speakers discuss the challenges of parenting in the modern world and the lack of understanding and support from society. They talk about the importance of finding a balance between discipline and empathy, as well as the need for open communication and apologies with children. They also criticize the fabricated image of a perfect life portrayed on social media and emphasize the importance of embracing the imperfections of life.
So we are recording. And 3, 2, 1. Okay. I'm sitting here with Brittany Leontard. Leontard, hey. Oh, Leonhard. I am extremely sorry. Not only Leonhard. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, I'm apparently really bad at plunging, sorry, plunging toilets. Interesting. Isn't it though? Fun factoid. I plan on writing a children's book within the next week and a half because if I don't, I'm never going to do it. I'm sitting here recording podcast tests.
A mock tater. A mock tater after I had some Reuben taters for breakfast. But I'm here with my love. So I have a question for you. Yeah. Is it, what is it like to raise three, four boys, another one as your stepchild in 2023 compared to what you knew as a child and what you thought it would be like? Yeah. It's hard as fuck. I mean, when you go to have a baby, people just talk about, oh, you're going to have a baby.
And you, you know, instantly your mind thinks of like, you know, your little newborn. And everybody's like, oh, you won't get much sleep and stuff like that. But that is the easy shit. What nobody tells you about is that when you send your kid to camp and they just refuse to keep their hands off the cats. You know. Yeah. The person in charge wants, like they don't listen or not even just besides the fact of kids being kids and not listening.
You also have to deal with like 24-7, 365 bombardment by social media and YouTube and them seeing crap they shouldn't see. Yeah, it's kind of hard too, right? It's like other people have to interject themselves into your parenting or their children, right? So they're going to do childish dumb shit. And this view that people have on how children should be versus how children are. And the perception they have that they make up because of kids doing what they do.
The perception that they make of parents. The parents. Yeah. Well, that's just the thing. Like you said, kids are going to be kids and they're not always going to listen and stuff. But there's no understanding anymore. It seems like people are just quick. Like the first thing they do is blame the parents for everything. I feel like that's part of the reason we're here and that kids have this sense of entitlement because nobody holds the kids responsible.
It's instantly the parents' fault for everything. Which in some cases is true, but we try really, really hard to make sure that our kids are being decent human beings. But as you said, they're kids. I think they do fairly well. They do. Not only that, but that's the reason why we want to do these podcasts, right? Is to kind of shift that idea, this perception that we've had for so long. That, oh, instantly a kid does something wrong and it's the parents' fault.
When really, in reality, we should be saying, okay, a kid's a kid. Let's not accept behavior. But maybe bring back the village kind of mentality where I'm going to, of course, to an extent, but morally the right thing to do for a child is correct him and have a conversation with the parents of what the child was doing and why that adult kind of corrected the child instead of instantly blaming the parents and doing nothing. A lot of times there's this internal dialogue people have with these events that happen with kids and they're just talking shit in their head and doing absolutely nothing to help anybody.
Well, it's kind of that dichotomy, too. People bitch and complain about kids being entitled and they aren't being raised properly because parents are just letting them do what they want. However, if you do correct them, they're on your ass about it. It's just like the people who are complaining are the ones not necessarily in the thick of it, but then they're also, at the same time, saying, well, that's too harsh. There's no happy medium. I don't know.
Yes, we've lost that village mentality altogether, but we have a little bit of a village, you and I. This is mean to say, and I'm not coming at anybody, but it's like half the village has dementia and you have to remind them that you have to do these things. They're so far removed from it, I guess. It's not dementia. It's just being removed from it for so long and being completely out of place in the modern world.
You could feed your kids anything back in the 50s and it wasn't necessarily harmful, but they weren't adding a bunch of shit to your kids' stuff. Yes, I think, and again, that's part of the whole idea of these podcasts, these discussions about alternative perspectives and actions that we could have in the modern world when it comes to our kids, when it comes to eating, when it comes to schooling, when it comes to just interacting as adults or debate or anything, really.
We've become so mono in a way. It's like a monoculture. It's like we have this idea and that's it. It's like you can't spank your kids, but you're wrong if you don't say anything or do something. You can't win. They're the only two avenues that the society has given us is don't spank your kids, but you've got to do something. Right, but you have to gentle parent, which I don't know. Unless you have an inflatable doll for a child, it doesn't work.
Especially when they don't talk to you. They just sit there and look at you. Basically, eyes of a middle finger. At some point, there's got to be some tough love. At some point, there's got to be, and I think it's a fine line, right? It's a balance because if you do that all the time, then they're expecting it, like you said. It doesn't even work anymore, but sometimes you've got to put the fear of God in them.
Those are the learning experiences. Yeah, that's like, okay, that's enough. I took it too far. Right, but then bring it back around. Yeah, you've got to bring it back around. With the gentle, tough first, gentle afterward. It's important, I think, too, is to have a conversation with your kid. I mean, you could take it too far, right? Absolutely. You could take it too far, but that doesn't mean you can't bring it back and explain, you know, I'm also in the wrong here.
What you did is unacceptable. What I did and I lost my cool is unacceptable, but at the end of the day, you cannot do that. I apologize for taking it so far, but again, we're going to bring this back around and you're going to fix that problem. I'm going to work on fixing my problem. At the end of the day, we've got to move on from this. You have to have that conversation. I think we also forget that kids are human beings.
We do. I feel like when you do that, when you sit there somewhere in between Joe Jackson and people who let their kids do whatever they want, when you're in that middle of the road and you do the bring it back around after you've had to instill some fear in them, having the humility to apologize to your children is a whole different experience that I feel like a lot of kids maybe don't get or they get in too soft of a way.
It's not like a real conversation kind of thing, and I think that they need to see that, that we are also human beings and we also mess up and, you know, we're not here to be mad at them. Yeah, it's almost like Instagram and Facebook and all these social medias have fabricated a life, even in reality. There's just this fabrication of a daily life that your typical American does, goes, takes their kids to school or, you know, get on the bus or takes them to daycare, goes to work, works their ass off, they're tired when they get home, pick up the kids, the kids come home, and there's just, like, they live on this...
Fake level? Yeah, it's almost linear. There is no... Like, we live life, man. We make mistakes, we apologize for them, we just live. We just live and we fix what we need to fix as the time arises. I feel like a lot of people in society have this fixed kind of narrative that they run throughout their entire day. That's just how it goes. Like my father. My father goes to work, comes home, bitches about work, you know, and does his own thing, and if anybody gets in the way, it's, fuck you, and that's it.
Right, well, I feel like oftentimes people use... No, it's not fun working eight hours a day, and truly, in today's society, it's unnecessary. But that's a whole different topic. The point of what I'm trying to say is people often use that as a reason to be an asshole, and that's not right. I mean, we all do it. I mean, you're at the end of your rope at some point, and you don't... Well, I think that's a whole other topic, too, for me.
It's not just the eight hours, but it took me until probably a couple months ago to just understand that this is my life, and this is the life I want to lead, and there's going to be five children that's going to be a part of my life. And even if I knew it objectively, subconsciously, it was trying to like... Like run away? No! Yeah, I mean, it really is. I mean, I didn't notice it. You don't notice these things sometimes until, you know, until you might see the light.
You know what I mean? You don't realize how dark it is until you see some light sometimes. Yeah. Same type of analogy. It's like I just didn't... I wanted to do what I wanted to do, like my father. Anybody in the way, I got fucking pissed. Yep. But, you know... That's not... That doesn't bring peace or harmony to anybody. Well, no. It causes so much more internal issues. Because at least for me, I don't know how my father would feel, but for me, it doesn't make me feel great to consistently see...
It doesn't make me feel great last night when we have to be tough. But, you know, doing it all the time and showing no empathy at all is just unacceptable. It's not healthy for anybody. Yeah, it's definitely not healthy for anybody. It's also not healthy for yourself. Right. You're standing in your own... the way of your own happiness. Well, yeah, because it's a barrier. Like letting things flow. You talked about it earlier. Flow. I'm like, it's not flowy then.
You're not letting anything flow if it's consistently anything that gets in your way. You get angry and lose your mind. And, you know, it's just not the way it's going to be. Right. It's not going to work that way. Right. Life is already hard. Let's not make it harder on ourselves. Especially with five boys. Yeah. Well, it's 12 minutes. We definitely talked more than I thought, but... We're going to wrap it up. Look at Pikachu. Looks like he's about to come.
Not on my foot, Pikachu. Okay. I love you, baby. I love you. Bye-bye. See ya.
