AFRAID TO DIE

The speaker describes working with a group of people on a program focused on personal growth and change. The participants initially found the program challenging but beneficial, as it revealed their limiting beliefs and resistance to change. However, by week four, their enthusiasm had waned. The speaker confronted them about their commitment to change and emphasized that resistance is normal. The speaker then posed a hypothetical question about what they would do if they knew their life was ending soon. They discussed the fear of death and the desire to live without regrets. The speaker shared personal insights about living boldly, embracing each moment, and making choices that align with one's true self. They encouraged the audience to reflect on their own lives and share their thoughts. I was once working with a group of people whom I was mentoring. We were on a six-week program called Living the Life I Truly Desire. And we'd been on this program for about three weeks, and we were now in week four. Over the weeks, the participants had been sharing how they were finding the program both challenging and useful. And it was challenging because it revealed to them some of their beliefs that were limiting them and were the cause of their resistance to change. And, you know, this resistance showed up as procrastination, sometimes a self-doubt, or the fear of failure, or the perception of scarcity, whether of time or resources, including the resources of people who had significant roles in their lives. You know, people who may not be, for example, as enthusiastic about change as my group of people were feeling. But in week four, it became apparent that the initial enthusiasm and motivation and energy and excitement had started to slip away. So, as their mentor, it was time for me to be a little confronting. How much do you want this change? I asked them. How much do you really want this life that you say you want? And what feels greater within you, the desire for the life you want, or the belief that it's all too hard and just beyond you? Yeah, they were silent. It was confronting. It wasn't easy to give answers that were not honest. At first, it wasn't easy to dodge and deflect and hide behind reasons anymore, not in that group setting. I then assured them, look, if you're scared, if you think it's all too much, if you don't want to try because you're afraid you'll fail, we all have those kinds of thoughts and feelings. The ego does not welcome change, especially if it isn't the one that's initiated it. And that if it is your higher self or love that's inspired you to make changes, your ego is going to resist like crazy. So don't think that what you're experiencing is anything unusual and because of some personal character flaw or weakness that you have. No, this is such a common experience. But think about this. The fact that you even signed up for this change, the fact that you were excited and eager at the start of this program, what does that say? It felt good, didn't it? That burst of exhilaration and enthusiasm, it felt really good, didn't it? Why? Why did it feel so good? Because you were in that state of consciousness, of joy, of exhilaration, of excitement, of curiosity, of I can do this, of I so want to do this. That state of consciousness is no fluke and it certainly is the most natural state of consciousness. Like that of little children who have not yet been conditioned into fear and self-doubt and distrust. But you know, they'd heard me say all this stuff before and although in that moment I could see that they were starting to shift a little bit from that inertia that had set in, they were not quite over the line, so I had to try something else. Okay, my beautiful people, I want you to consider this and take it very seriously, please. What if you knew as an absolute certainty that your life is going to be over by 5 p.m. today? And by the way, it was around 10 in the morning at that point. Please, I said, please consider this very seriously. What if by 5 p.m. today your life is over? How will you be spending the next few hours? I could see the startle on their faces, not quite alarm perhaps, but definitely a shock. I don't think any of my friends had ever contemplated something like that. I mean, it was specific, it was clear, no doubt it was hypothetical, but it could, to all intents and purposes, it could, and certainly for the purposes of the exercise, it could be a valid possibility. Now they remained silent. I could almost hear the cogs in their brains turning. And then finally somebody asked, Lucy, what would you do? And do you know what I said? I said, exactly what I'm doing now. Doing what I love. But you know, since then, while I have, for the most part, been doing what I love doing, which includes a number of things, including mentoring, running workshops, teaching and guiding meditation, writing, playing guitar, making videos, taking pictures, cooking and so on, none of which, by the way, I do exceptionally well, no, but I have had moments when I've wondered and felt the desire within me to be more and to do more. And I've had this thought, not so much these days, but not in the very distant past either, that I don't want to die without having done my best to explore and express that limitless potential within me that is me. Now, sometimes that thought has arrived in the company of fear. And at first it was discomforting until I realized that I could do what I practice generally and that is to meet that thought without judgment. And so, what I would then do was to pause and to look at it squarely in the face, watch it, and you know what? There have been some jewels hidden within it. And I'd like to share some of those jewels that I found. One jewel has been the eagerness to live life without fear, to live boldly, caring less about what other people think or what my ego might have to say about it, and feeling excited and thrilled about what I might discover along the way. That was one jewel. Another was that I found deep within that fear is a reminder of the truth that the real me, the me that is not my body-mind, that is not identified with my personality or the roles I have, or the experience I've had, or my history, that me can never die. Why is that? Because it was never born. Yes, that body, my body, this body, will eventually fall away. But the essence of me, who and what I truly am, that me, as they say in Buddhism, is indestructible. It is unenhancable and unsurpassable. I love that. I just love. Mind you, I love all the jewels. A third jewel. A third jewel that was hidden deep in this fear of dying was the desire to make every moment count. And you know, it's a beautiful desire. As long as I don't get obsessive about it and instead just take it easy, relax, intend, allow myself to enjoy more and more things. In fact, it is a desire that's truly a gift and a blessing. It's caused me to really give myself permission to enjoy many, many, many more things than I otherwise would, especially those mundane things that I would have tried to either avoid or get done as quickly as possible, which in turn would have made them feel so much more effortful, so much more of a struggle, so much more of a chore or an obligation. So, anyway, all of this to say that I think that many people are afraid to die because they don't feel that they've lived their best life yet and they especially don't feel like they are living their best life right now. I know I have felt that and from time to time that thought still visits me. But I've come to see more and more that the best life is not a series of accomplishments or a legacy that I might leave behind or the many victories I've had over difficult situations. Do you know? I realize that the best life is reflected in the care I give to each moment whatever I may be doing in that moment, whether it's reading or vacuuming or mentoring or making a video or shopping or making decisions or choices, talking to a friend, even when I don't share the same point of view, taking a shower, in other words, there is no moment that is not inviting my response with care, that is not inviting my presence, my love, my joy, my peace. Every moment is an invitation to live my best life and sure, there will be many, many of those moments when I don't show up with the care and the presence that I would like to, but hey, just realizing that each moment is an invitation to live my best life kind of pushes the odds in my favor, you know? So that my best life is not a culmination of my life, it's a moment-to-moment thing. And one more thing I've come to realize about this life, there isn't a plan B. You either do or you don't. You go for it or you don't. And I know that may sound a little trite, but what I'm getting at is that you get to choose what you do with the life that is coursing through your veins, that is flowing through your consciousness. You get to set the limits on your body-mind or transcend them. You get to choose whether to play or to struggle. You get to choose whether you play fearfully or lovingly, joyously or joylessly, playfully, peacefully or conflictingly, eagerly or begrudgingly, burdened by your past or inspired by an imagined future. And that, I'll admit, is both scary and liberating for us, you know? On the one hand, there's no one else to blame or pass responsibility onto. And on the other, hey, this is in my hands. I get to choose. I actually have the power to choose for myself, not for anyone else, for myself. And that is all I need. That is enough. So, as always, I've said my part. Now, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. On, for instance, how you would spend the last few hours if you knew it was going to be all over for you. And does the thought of dying bother you? And if it does, why? And do you feel that you're living the life you want to? And if not, why not? Well, all that's left for me to say is to leave you with much love and may your heart beat to the rhythms of peace. Hey, everybody. I know it's so easy to forget I do it myself so often, but please, if you did like this video, do hit the like button, do subscribe, do share, and most of all, please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much.