ep13v2_Tara

Cool. Just making sure the volumes are good to go, and it looks fine. Okay, and video. Boom. Okay, everything is recording. What's wrong? Oh. Are you sure? Okay. Mm-hmm. Hey. And I'm Tara. So, we're finally so excited to pick up our mics again. We took a little bit of time off, but we are ready to dive into all the things that have happened this past month. And as always, Kristen, catch everyone up on what's been going on with you. The one you don't wash. I know where this is going. Oh, my God. So, you guys were in the car when they hit you? Oh, my God. So, a heavy thing. Mm-hmm. Stop. Your parents showed us the picture of, like, how close they were. We'll have to upload it onto the page. Did you guys get any, like, dents or anything? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, well, especially being there, like, being in the car. Don't give them credit. Don't sympathize. Mm-hmm. Uber. Just Uber. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. And that's, like, the worst luck ever. And especially when you're there for, like, an exciting event and everything. It's still there. Mm-hmm. Or nothing. Yeah. Well, so, I'm sure a lot of the listeners are aware of what's been going on for people who don't know what's going on or new listeners. Unfortunately, in three days, it will be a month, my dad passed away unexpectedly. So, we've been dealing with a lot of the fallout from that, of course. And we were just – we went back to town this past weekend to do a Celebration of Life event. And now we're dealing with some of the legal battles for the estate. I'm the executor on his estate. So, just managing all of that. I'll have to go back home to handle his affairs probably in the next few weeks or so. And then, on top of that, I swear when it rains, it pours. Like, people say things happen in, like, threes or whatnot. I swear we're up to, like, five right now. So, we've had – you know, my dad's passing. The legal battles. Matt's dad has been in and out of, you know, the hospital and visits and whatnot. And he's okay, fortunately. And then, our dog had surgery today. He had to get two tumors removed and works, obviously, wild. And it's just a lot, right? And then, add a toddler on top of all of that. So, we are trying to get back to normal life. And I don't know when we're going to hit normal again. But we are trying. So, a lot of moving pieces. And we'll dive a little more into, like, what happened and anything that anyone wants to know. But before we kick that off, I say let's do a little cheers. And I'm going to crack one open. And let's do a cheers to welcome back to our 13th episode, right? Yeah, we were going to do a 13th episode last month. And we had it ready to go. And unfortunately, with everything that kicked off, we are redoing episode 13. So, cheers to that. Cheers. Sorry. When it rains, it pours, everyone. Yeah. No, yeah, we just wanted to, I don't know, kind of explain, like, why we've been out for a month. And then, you know, with being parents to especially littles, you know, two-year-old, three-year-olds, or whatever age, it doesn't matter. But you have to learn how to balance, like, how do you appropriately grieve a situation or a traumatic event? Or how do you get through that tough time or that low point in life while also being present for your kid? And how do you manage it with your significant other, if you have one in the picture? And then, yeah, like, do you show your emotions to your kids? And how do you deal with that? Like, do you show your emotions to your kid? Or do you try to hide it? Because I know I'm awful with that, and I try to hide everything. So, yeah, just kind of discussing a little bit of that. Right, right, right. But, I mean, at least you don't have a sociopath as a kid, because he's empathetic. So, winning! Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. I mean, so, like, best example to kind of tag along with what you said. Oh, also, everyone listening, apologies about the cough and the nasal voice and everything. We got sick while traveling, and it's just hitting me very hard. So, just excuse the coughing. But, I know. I know. Chrissy gave it to me through the computer. But, yeah, so, I mean, when I found out about Dad, it was probably a couple days after finding out. I remember being in the office, and I chose to not take time off work. And I just wanted to dive right back in, because I needed a distraction and whatnot, which I learned was, unfortunately, a mistake. But, I remember, you know, ending my work day, and Matt went and got Liv from daycare and brought her back home. And they came into the office, and I was in the middle of, like, a breakdown. And I was just, like, I mean, mid-sob, you know? And she came in so excited, and was like, Mommy! You know? And then she saw me, and Matt saw me, and was like, oh, shit. You know, like, trying to, like, get her, you know, corral her and whatnot. And she came over, and she's like, is Mommy sad? And I was like, yeah, you know, Mommy's really sad right now. And she just came over and gave me the sweetest hug and, like, a kiss on the cheek and everything. And I was just like, how is your heart so big when you're this tiny? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But sometimes it just, yeah, it's everything. Um, no. So, it was kind of, it's kind of a weird relationship that we had with my dad. And for people who don't know, like, unfortunately, my dad and I have had a rocky relationship ever since mid-high school or whatnot. And it just got worse over the years. And my dad was really sick. He struggled with alcoholism and narcissism and all of the things that go along with that. And I was the type of person who called him out on his shit. And I had to put up boundaries, and then I tore those boundaries down. Like, last year, when I took over his affairs, when he got, he got misdiagnosed with dementia. So, I basically sprung into action and started taking over all of his finances and everything to get him out of the debt that he was in, blah, blah, blah. So, that was 10 months of hell. And then he moved out of the assisted living place that we moved him into. And I had to put up some boundaries. And I just told him, I said, if you move out, like, I can't help anymore. Like, I'm done. I was in such a low point in my life. And, like, I needed to be there for my kid and my husband, you know. And I just needed to take care of myself, you know, because I was, I was not taking care of myself. And so, I, he ended up moving out. And I handed all of his accounts back to him. And I said, gave him all the passwords, usernames, all of the things that he needed to be set up for success, all the due dates for everything. And unfortunately, that was end of February of this year. And then four months later, I mean, we find out that he died. So, we, throughout Liv's life, like, my dad knew, obviously, of Liv and always, you know, tried to call checking in and everything. But because we had such a tumultuous, like, relationship, it was, I didn't want Liv knowing about him. She did meet him once, but we never talked about him. We never, it was just, we didn't want to open that door because he was so not, he was not present in our lives. He never came to visit. There was always an invite on the table. Throughout all the states that we've lived, I've always wanted him to come visit and he never chose to, even when he did have money. So, like, he didn't have money towards the end of his life. And that's totally fine. I would never expect someone to come visit when they're tight on cash, you know. But when he was not tight on cash, he chose to go visit everyone else or go on vacations with other people instead of visiting one of his kids. So, or, I mean, more than one of his kids, but I can only speak from my perspective. So, yeah, so over the years, we just, we as Liv's parents decided to not invite that relationship into her life because it was so toxic. And he, unfortunately, was a very toxic human being to my life, meaning it would be to Liv's life. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And like, fortunately, Matt's dad is such a wonderful grandpa to her. Like, he fills both roles, both grandpa roles. And so it's like, she doesn't have that missing piece. She has a grandpa and he's present and he adores her. And, you know, yeah, he's present. That's the best way I can put that. But, I mean, like you said, I've always longed for a good relationship with my dad. Like, I hate the fact that I didn't have a good relationship with him. Like, that sucks. And it's not, no one, I don't think anyone ever wants that. But you just hit, you hit a point where you notice the destruction that it's causing, that relationship is causing, and you're like, enough's enough. And I just, unfortunately, hit that point. And it's like, how, how can I protect our daughter from that toxicity? You know, and Mm hmm. brick wall that I ran into. And I was like, holy crap, like, I can't do this. You know, like, there were times I just, I just wanted to be alone. And that was it. And but like, you can't do that with a toddler, you know, like, they, they need you. And I, I realized I needed to be there for her when she needed me. And so that means I need to cut some toxic stuff out of my life. Right. Right. No, but really, it's like, yeah, so after after he passed, I mean, obviously, she saw me crying and whatnot. And we just kind of talked it up to, you know, mommy's just sad, like, it's okay to be sad, you know, just explaining, like, it's okay to have these feelings. And it's, it's normal to cry, blah, blah, blah. But like, internally, it's like, I wish I could explain to her like, why I'm sad, but she wouldn't understand because she doesn't even know him. She's like, who's your dad? Yeah, and like, go, which is probably for the best anyway. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. The OG spot. The OG. So like Maple Grove, if you guys haven't heard in our previous episodes, is where my wedding was taking place. Yeah. Yeah, we had our little one's one year old birthday. And now. Yeah. And now a funeral. Heck yeah, go visit them. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. So she, yes, she, we told her, you know, we were going to go see Nana. So she was so excited to see her and see, you know, Uncle Jake and Aunt Mariah and Aunt Meg and now Uncle Robel. It's like, we were, we were just hyping it up, right? Excuse me. Because there was, there was no reason for her to be sad, you know, like, yeah, and there was no reason to have that conversation. So yeah, we, we went there and we just focused on her like seeing everyone and all the adults knew like why we were actually there. And we had to take care of a few things. So we had to go through a storage unit, his apartment. God, that was traumatic, to say the least, going through the apartment. And yeah, and she just stayed behind. And Matt was a godsend throughout that whole weekend because he helped, you know, kind of shield her from a lot of things. And then my mom, you know, like obviously kept her when all the, all of us siblings went up to Pier Marquette River, which is about like four hours away up north from mom's house. And we rented an Airbnb and we stayed the night there and just kind of bonded and reminisced on the good times that we had growing up. And we got to spread his ashes in the river up there. So, and that's what he always talked about. So, a little bit. So mainly Fisher. So they, yeah, so they would do, I don't know if it's like annual trips, they would go quite often to this river. Yep. So they would go up north fishing to Pier Marquette River multiple times. And yeah, and like for the last, I swear, ever since they started fishing there, he always talked about like, when I die, I want to get cremated and spread my ashes in the Pier Marquette River. Blah, blah, blah. I don't think, okay, thanks for making it easy, you know. But yeah, I learned throughout, and sorry, this is not really toddler related, but I learned that a will, right, is all, it's great to have a will and because it expresses your wishes and whatnot, but it doesn't do anything legally. It's a guide, it's not a tool. So you legally cannot do anything with the will by itself. You still have to go through other legal hoops to be able to even do anything for the estate. So what I mean by that is every state has like, if your assets are X amount of dollars, every state has like a maximum. If it surpasses that maximum, you have to submit paperwork through court, probate court, and it has to be approved to unfreeze all of the assets to be able to distribute however the will dictates, I guess, or requests. Yeah. So we had to hire an attorney and we had to submit several signed documents and pay fees and now it could be anywhere from a six to an 18 month process. So with all of the, you know, cremation stuff and the trip and for the celebration of life and all of the things, you know, you just pay out of pocket until the assets are unlocked or unfrozen and then you can disperse and reimburse basically. But yeah, absolutely insane and highly recommend everyone to get life insurance too because unfortunately my dad did not and that obviously was a hiccup in the road too because it's just, shit gets expensive real fast. He had it. He just stopped paying on it in February. So he's been paying on it since the 80s and it got terminated in February. So what a prick. Thanks. No, I'm just kidding. I feel old. No, yeah. No, it's definitely, I mean, yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot, a lot. Thanks. Right. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right. Mm hmm. Yeah. Right. Mm hmm. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Right. So how do you deal with it? Like, do you wait until he's down in bed or do you like ask Austin, like, hey, can you just take him for a minute so I can step away for five minutes or whatever? Like, what's normal for you during your moments? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. You want to be present. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Weird. I have never seen that or heard that or read it. Yeah. They have cute little hands. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We did that too. Oh, I'm sorry, Liv. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. 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