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cover of SiriusXM, Three Ways to Get Your Teen to Open Up
SiriusXM, Three Ways to Get Your Teen to Open Up

SiriusXM, Three Ways to Get Your Teen to Open Up

Lisa Smith

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To help your teens open up to you, first, stop interrogating them with endless questions. Let them share without feeling the need to defend or explain themselves. Second, listen attentively without interrupting or giving advice unless they ask for it. Lastly, model the behavior you want to see by sharing appropriate and engaging stories about yourself. By following these steps, you'll create a safe space for your teens to open up and share more with you. Do you want your teens to open up to you more? Do you want your teens to be more vulnerable with you? Here's three ways to make that happen. First, you must stop with the interrogation. You've got to stop with all the questions. No teen wants to share something knowing that they're going to be peppered with question after question after question. They don't want to have to defend themselves. They don't really want to have to explain themselves. They just want to be able to share themselves with you. With that said, the second thing is listen more. Listen extravagantly. Listen without boundaries, meaning listen endlessly. That means really take in what they're saying. Don't interrupt them. Don't give advice. If they ask you for advice, what a gift. Take them up on it. If they don't, just let them share because when they do that, that's precious, and then they'll keep doing it more and more. And then third, model the behaviors that you want to see in them, meaning if you want them to open up with you and to share things about themselves with you, start by sharing things about yourself with them. And of course, make sure it's appropriate that you're not burdening them or making them feel like they're responsible for your feelings or your situation. But pick things that you can share with them and make that a conversation. It can be something funny. It can be something personal. It can be something that happened to you that day. But model the behavior that you want to see in them. And if you do that over time, you will start to see that being reciprocated. Those are three ways that are fail-proof to get your team to open up more.

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