20240801-FC7-Nikki-B._-Brian-M.

This is a regular meeting of the Vauxhall Chapter 7 Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. They welcome newcomers and emphasize the desire to stop drinking as the only requirement for membership. They provide a safe and welcoming environment for all attendees. They encourage sponsorship and celebrate anniversaries of sobriety. They also offer opportunities for members to be of service. Tonight's speakers are Nikki B. and someone from Lakers Alano. Welcome to the regular meeting of the Vauxhall Chapter 7 Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Patty and I am an alcoholic. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober. Okay, our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. I'm going to have Dave come up, we've got some announcements to make here. I'm Dave, I'm an alcoholic. I got the last week for the update on the phone list and they're available in the back every week. And I got a master right here, just make corrections and if it's still your home meeting, just mark it that it's correct and you put your name, your phone number, your city, sobriety date down, home group, which is Vauxhall, just make an X, willing to sponsor, put an X and we'll give rides, give an X, and put down your email address also so people can get a hold of you too. So I'm just, last week to sign up for it, thank you everyone. This is an open meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, we are glad you are here, especially newcomers. In keeping with our singleness of purpose and our third tradition, which states that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, we ask all who participate the alcoholic. Our group endeavors to provide a safe meeting for all attendees and encourages each person here to contribute to fostering a secure and welcoming environment in which our meetings can take place. As our traditions remind us, the formation and operation of an AA group resides with the group conscience, therefore, we ask that group members and others refrain from any behavior which might compromise another person's safety. I have asked Kelsey to read the first two paragraphs of Chapter 7, Working With Others, as found on page 89 of our big book. Hi, my name is Kelsey Roth and I'm an alcoholic. Chapter 7, Working With Others, practical experience shows that nothing will ensure immunity from drinking as a sense of work with other alcoholics, it works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion, carry this message to other alcoholics, you can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail, remember, they are very ill. Life will take on new meaning, to watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch the loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends, this is an experience you must not miss, we know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is a bright spot of our lives. We would like to extend a special welcome to any newcomers, any AA members from other groups and to those visiting us from out of town, whether you are here with us or attending via Zoom. Would anyone who has less than 30 days sobriety and anyone visiting us for the first time or visiting from out of town, please stand, introduce yourself, let us know your name, where you are from and how long you've been sober so that we can welcome you. We'll pass around the microphone so everyone here and online can hear you. For those attending online, please add your name to the chat and we will call on you right after that. Nicole, alcoholic, 26 days. Al, alcoholic, 30 days. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm going to call on you. I'm Denise, and I have an alcohol use disorder, and I've been sober 10 clear days. Hey, everybody. I'm Jason. I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for four months. I'm from Maple Grove. Hi, everybody. My name is John. I'm from Lakeville area. I've got just a few days behind me. Katherine, I'm from Mentonka. It's been 21 days. I'm Michelle Webb. I'm from Lone Jack, Missouri, just visiting 22 years. I'm Nick. I've been sober for two weeks. I'm Andrew. I'm an alcoholic. I'm from Edina, just out there, and 11 days. I'm Yaya, and I'm sober now for 84 days. Hi, there. I'm Andrew. I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for one day. Hi, there. I'm Yaya. I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for two weeks. Is there anyone online to call on? No. Okay. Anyone who is an alcoholic may be a member of the Box Hall Chapter 7 group. To be included on our membership roster, please sign your name, phone number, and sobriety date on the same list whenever they occur. For those attending online, please email your name, phone number, and sobriety date to boxhallchapter7 at gmail.com. If you have questions about membership, please feel free to ask me after the meeting. Sponsorship. Although it was not referred to as sponsorship, Alcoholics Anonymous began by one alcoholic working with another alcoholic. The Box Hall Chapter 7 group strongly believes in the benefits of sponsorship. Sponsorship is one alcoholic sharing their experience on a continuous individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to stay sober in AA. Will all members of Alcoholics Anonymous who are willing to be a sponsor please raise your hand. If any person here does not have a sponsor, please feel free to ask any of these people for help, or you can see our sponsorship chair people, Jeff F. and Michelle K. Jeff and Michelle, well not Michelle, Kelsey, okay, at the literature table during the break or after the meeting. If you are attending online and do not have a sponsor, please write your name in the chat so our online sponsorship coordinators can reach out to you. Anniversaries. Anniversaries. Each week we celebrate the miracle of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous by acknowledging 30 days, 3 months, 6 months, and 1 or more years of continuous sobriety. Would anyone who has celebrated one of those AA anniversaries during the last week please stand, introduce yourself, and give us your sobriety date. For those attending online, please add your name to the chat and we will call on you after that. First is Janine. Hi, everyone. I am Janine, and I celebrated three years yesterday. Hi. My name is Cynthia Alcoholic. I celebrated, oh my gosh, 7-27-07, so that is 17 years. I'm Kyla. I'm an alcoholic, and June 24th of this year I celebrated, well, that's my sobriety date, July 24th, celebrated 30 days. I'm Elizabeth Alcoholic. I celebrated 6 months on Saturday. I'm Ritu Alcoholic-Addict, and on July 27th I celebrated one year. Hey, family. I'm Suzy. I'm an alcoholic. On July 30th I celebrated 12 years. Hi. My name is Carolyn. I'm an alcoholic, and on the 27th I celebrated 9 months. Hi. I'm Will, and sobriety date is July 1st of this year, so I just made 30 days. Hi. My name is Jim, and I'm an alcoholic. On July 29th, 1989, I went to my first meeting. I am celebrating 35 years in AA. Hello. My name is Nolan. I'm celebrating 30 days today with the date of July 2nd. Online we have Corey. I celebrated 6 months on Monday. That's it. Box Hall has a celebration on the first Thursday of each month for those having 6 months and annual anniversaries in the previous month. If you'd like to celebrate your anniversary here with us, invite your sponsor to give you your card, and then see our birthday coordinator, Teresa C., in the back of the room before the end of the meeting tonight. For those celebrating anniversaries online, please follow the directions posted in the chat to participate in our anniversary celebration. We would like to give our members every opportunity to be of service in this group and in AA as a whole. For this reason, you will find 12-step opportunity sign-up lists on the table at the back corner of the room. These include answering phones at the intergroup office, taking meetings into the detox at 1800 Chicago, and taking meetings into Fairview Riverside. Okay, tonight we have two speakers. Our first speaker will be Nikki B. from Lakers, Alano, and Prior Lake. Nikki, come on up. Hi, everyone. Wow, there's a lot of you out there. Okay. I'm Nikki. I'm an alcoholic. And by the grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've been sober since June 19th of 2018. So, I'm here to share my story and my experience, strength, and hope with you all. So, congrats on all of the birthdays. Like many of us, I experienced early childhood trauma. Both my grandmother and my father were diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And so, that put my sister, my younger sister and I, into foster care. So, I was in foster care between the ages of 10 until I aged out at 18. So, I was in foster care between the ages of 10 until I aged out at 18. And so, that put my sister, my younger sister and I, into foster care. So, I was in foster care between the ages of 10 until I aged out at 18. And we had about five or six placements in three years. And all the horrible things that you can imagine and that you read about and hear about on the news happened to us. So, lots of trauma. And so, when I went to school, went to middle school and high school and really tried to fit in and be normal and not look as if I've had a past that I had. And I think I did a pretty good job at fitting in. I worked, I got good grades, I was in track and field, hung out with friends. I was a typical teenager. I wasn't the easiest foster child. So, but, you know, I really stepped into the parent role. And so, it was really hard to have two moms in the house because I thought I was a mom as well. So, but, nevertheless, I graduated, or let me back up. So, my first time drinking, I was 16 years old. I was at my best friend's house and got really, really sick, as many of us do that first time. And because at home, in my bathroom, the trash can was under the vanity sink. And so, what I did when I grew up is I took all the paper towels and threw them under the sink at my best friend's house. But there was no trash there. So, that's how her mom found out that we had been drinking. And I actually really, really disliked the way I felt. I didn't like getting sick. I didn't like how I felt, you know, leaving vomit, paper towels, you know, for her mom to sign. I was really embarrassed. And so, I didn't drink. I didn't drink again. Let's see. I graduated. I graduated from high school. I went on to college. I did my first two years of college in Kentucky at the University of Louisville because I followed a boy. My boyfriend went into the service and was stationed at Fort Knox. And so, that's why I went to college down there. And once he was done with the service, we decided we'll come back to Minnesota. And I graduated from Concordia College. And shortly thereafter, I had our son. And after college, or during college, I tried drinking again. And what I did was I was drinking the night before an 8 a.m. chemistry class. So, that didn't go well. I was imagining the whole time trying to keep from vomiting. It's chemistry, so, I mean, you know, as far as there's any chemists in the room. But, you know, as an 18-year-old, it was boring. And it was early, and I was drunk. And so, I thought, oh, again, I don't like how this feels. I'm not going to do this again. Famous last words. So, I graduated from college. As I was saying, I was 22, came back to Minnesota, started graduate school. And after nine years of a relationship with my son's father, we decided to break up. Just started to grow in different ways. And I was now a mother, and I'm in graduate school, and I'm maturing, and he's, like, regressing. It just didn't work well. So, then time passes, and now I'm 25, 26, and I start dating a bartender. Yep, you guessed it. That's where things really started for me. It's where I say that I learned how to drink. He, you know, for me, it was, you know, ordering kind of light drinks. And he was just like, no, that's not how we drink. And so, he picked it up a notch, and more notches, and I started drinking pretty heavy liquor pretty quickly. And at this time, I really liked it. I liked how it made me feel. I liked going out, clubbing. I was doing what my peers were doing. I wasn't doing anything different. And, but what I did notice, then, was how much I could drink. I could drink a lot more. I could drink harder. I could drink longer. And that was also a badge of honor. Like, I could drink any guy under the table, and high fives for that, you know. And looking back, it's really how I should have known that I had a problem. At this point, I started buying alcohol after work and drinking at home. I was able to control how much I was drinking, and it wasn't every night at this point. So, if I thought I was drinking a little too much, I could stop, which then was telling me that I didn't have a problem. I ended the relationship with the bartender, and since now I'm 30 years old. And, of course, now I should be married. He didn't want to get married, so what did I do? I married the very next guy that I started dating. And it was a marriage that should not have happened. And I'll say, we actually went down and did the self-divorce together. Like, we knew, after a couple of years, this shouldn't have happened. But during the two years of this marriage, he was very emotionally unavailable. I was very lonely. I was very lonely. It wasn't turning out to be the marriage and the splendid family that I was envisioning. And so, I found alcohol in a big way. And I drank, and I liked it, and I drank alone, and I liked that. And then I realized that my son, who at that time was about 8 or 9, he was starting to smell my glasses. And I could tell he was worried and concerned without him saying anything. And so I thought, I need to stop. I can't, I can't, I can't do this. And I was able to. I was able to slow it down and just drink socially on occasion. Let's see. So the marriage, like I said, ended after about two years, and my drinking slowed a bit. But after my marriage, I began dating someone. It wasn't immediately after. I did take a little bit of a break. I began dating someone that liked to drink. And so we drank together a lot, both of us, at home, out in the bars. And now my son is a year older, and so I felt less guilty about it, quite honestly. And in this relationship, I like to say that it was actually a relationship of three. It was me, my boyfriend, and alcohol. And my preference was really alcohol, of the two of them. And I started drinking alone. I was always making sure I either had liquor, I was planning to get liquor, I was saving liquor for later. I was plotting and planning and drinking other liquors and other people's liquors. We had a good brother listen to us, and I thought, I guess I just didn't realize that alcohol... I thought, because alcohol doesn't freeze, I could put water in a vodka bottle and put it in the freezer. And it froze. It froze because water freezes. And of course, when they asked, my boyfriend and his brother asked, they eliminated themselves because they knew that they didn't do it. So they came to me, but of course I lied about it, like, I have no idea what you guys are talking about, that I didn't do that. And then I got mad and indignant and offended that they even thought that I did. And so that went on for quite a while. And then in 2012, kind of the pivotal point of my drinking was I lost my father to cancer. And by this point, he had been released from prison, so I'd been in his life. And instead of grieving, I drank. I went right back to my old childhood mechanism of just not healing and just kind of acting as if everything was okay. And drinking and alcohol helped me to do that. By 2015, so three years later, I drank myself out of a job. And for me, that was rock bottom. Losing my job, losing my livelihood, feeling really embarrassed. They let me go due to poor performance. And I knew how much I was drinking. And I knew that my poor performance was due to my alcoholism. Or I didn't call it alcoholism yet, that was a little too much. I was drinking a lot. And so I knew that that was why. But I was really angry. I was like, how dare they let me go? And my anger was short-lived. Because then I also realized now I have all the time in the world to drink. I can be with my best friend. We can just do this uninterrupted. We can just do this uninterrupted. And outside of meetings, we'll get more liquor. But that love affair was intense and deep and never-ending. And I was okay with that. I didn't like how I felt, but I was okay. I felt safe with alcohol. By this point, I am going through withdrawals when I wasn't drinking. Really sick. Of course, I didn't attribute it to alcohol. It was anxiety. It was because I lost my job. It was because Dad died three years prior. It was all these things. You know, my son was off at college now. You know, all the reasons other than alcohol. And so I ended up in the hospital three times in about six weeks. And I remember the first time going to Fairview Bridges and walking in and telling the nurse that, you know, they asked, you know, what can I help you with? And that I think I'm withdrawing from alcohol. And it was the first time that I had said it out loud. And that was like, wow. Okay. Like, this is real. I am as sick as I believe myself to be, but couldn't say it, couldn't admit it. And I said it for the first time. They did the, as many of us know, you know, the IV, the kind of putting it back together. And I go home, and that's the first time that I've said it out loud. I put it back together. And I go home, and that lasts for a few days. And then as soon as I'm feeling better, what do I do? I go right back to drinking, because that's what we do. And I did that a couple more times. And finally, the third time, the doctor said, you know, you're not going to be able to survive this for very long. My, when they take your blood and all of that, my, everything was just elevated. Elevated beyond belief. And of course, I didn't think that the doctor knew what he was talking about. I mean, how could alcohol in such a short time, right, do what he's saying it's doing to me? And so I didn't believe him. And I went back home, and after just being sick, and thinking, well, maybe I should go get an evaluation, as he suggested. And so I did. And the evaluator suggested that I go into inpatient treatment. And I said, well, I can't. And she's like, well, what do you mean you can't? I'm like, well, I don't really have time for treatment. I mean, I said, and she knew I wasn't working, right? That's what brought me into this whole thing, was losing my job. I said, and, you know, I have just so many commitments. Like, I just don't know how I would fit treatment in, especially inpatient. And I said, and my son's birthday is next week. And she said, because I said that as if my son was maybe five or six, but my son was turning 19. And he was off at college. But nevertheless, that was all the reason in the world that I needed to not go to treatment, not just yet. And I know now I just wasn't, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. So she had arranged for treatment at Fairview Riverside, at Lodging Plus. They called, a bed came available, and I declined it and drank for about two more weeks. And then finally, I got really, really sick. And I was really scared. I started hallucinating. And because I was just so freaked out by that, I said, I really need to take the treatment. So they called about two weeks later, another bed was available. And I went. They said you couldn't drink or any substances for 48 hours before. Of course, I thought, no problem. Now, I could stay sober for like, I don't know, two minutes. But I was going to do 48 hours so that I could get into treatment. And I didn't. I drank the whole night before. I got to treatment, and I couldn't get in because I had alcohol in my system. Got to go to detox, 1800 Chicago. And that was, I don't even know. I like to say it was like one poo over the poo-poo's nest meets orange is the new black. It was just, it was an unbelievable experience. And I just was like, how did I find myself here? And then I realized that I was just as sick as everyone else that was there. The sweating, the vomiting, just everything. And so I was quickly humbled that, yes, I was right where I was supposed to be. It was Father's Day weekend. I was in detox the whole weekend. And the bed that I should have had Friday was still available Monday. And so I was able to get into treatment. They had my bed, but they didn't do admissions on the weekend. And so I just cried and cried and cried. Because now I'm feeling good, and I knew I needed to get directly from detox to treatment. And I said, I was like, please, if it's left to me to get there, I won't. Because I know where the nearest local store is right now in this moment. So please get me there so that I can live. And so I did treatment. Of course, you know, I wanted to be the best treatment patient person. And so I followed all the rules. And it was wonderful. And I didn't want to leave. Because you're in this cocoon, right, of people who get you, who maybe don't look like you, but know your safe story. And that felt so good. I got a sponsor while I was in treatment. And she was mostly temporary, but I asked her. The first meeting, I said, I just, I like you. I don't need to shop around. You're the person. Can you do it? And she's like, absolutely. So she's my sponsor to this day. And I, she said the two things you have to do, or there's many things, but you have to go to two meetings a week. And I have done that for these nine years. I listened to my sponsor. I've done the steps in the order that they are. I give back to this program. I'm of service. I sponsor women. And that has been in fellowship. Those have been just the hallmarks of this program for me. Had ups and downs. And just recently was asked to step down from a job. And I thought, wow, nine years ago, and it just wasn't a good fit. I mean, I didn't do anything horrible, but it just wasn't a good fit. And that's okay. But I didn't drink over it. Nine years ago, when I lost my job, it was every reason to drink. And this time, I didn't drink. I didn't think about it. I didn't want to. And it's because of this program. I believe in a higher power. For me, it's God. And I go to church as well. I think there's all kinds of ways that we can feed our recovery program. Our recovery life. And for me, I got, I like to say I got sober in treatment. But AA is how I learned to live my life. And that it's a daily reprieve. And I like to tell my sponsees, it's not like a monthly reprieve or a yearly reprieve. You can have it daily if you do the work. And it's daily. I have spent five months now looking for a job. And so I'm coming back to work starting next week. And just really, really excited. I've found love with someone who loves this program just as much as I do. And that's also really amazing. So I'm just so happy. And for the newcomers, it gets better. It gets better. You've just got to hang in there. And just have that faith. And if you don't have a higher power, let this group be your higher power. Until you can find that on your own. So thank you for allowing me to share. And that's all. Thank you. Okay. This meeting is being audio recorded. Our ASL interpreter is being video recorded. If you would like to receive a weekly e-mail of the speakers, please e-mail boxhallchapter7 at gmail.com to be added to the e-mail list. Or you may see our Box Hall e-mail administrator, Jim B., just after the meeting. Smoking. Smoking. The designated smoking area is up the stairs and out the door where the sidewalk meets the parking lot. When smoking, please stay within the designated area and please deposit your cigarette butts in the receptacles provided. Okay. We're going to take a break. Out of respect for the second speaker, please be back in five minutes and know what your announcement is. Now we'll have this week's announcements. I'm Dave, your announcement coordinator. And Greater Minneapolis Intergroup has orientation, AA orientation open meeting every Saturday morning between 10 and 10.50. And that's at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Minnetonka Boulevard. There are flyers in the back. And this week's meeting is step one, tradition one. And it will be his story. It's a very good group. Another thing, rule 62. We don't have that many announcements. Rule 62, AA group welcomes you to celebrate with us the 17th anniversary, and that's September 18th. And that's a potluck at 6.30 and speaker at 7.30. And let me get the speaker name. And we have, Myers is in the back, the new one that just came out. And that's on September 18th. That's Minneapolis Intergroup Recovery and Unity Service. That's the August one. That's in the back. Another announcement we have is fellowship. We have fellowship at starting at 7 o'clock, the starting of the meeting. And that's this group of people getting together and talking and chatting. Kind of like the breach, you know. And after the meeting, we get together, put chairs together and put them away. And that's another group activity. And we have fellowship after the meeting at a restaurant, but I can't remember what the restaurant is. But it's, I can't remember the name. And so just see somebody after the end of the door, okay, for where they go. Thank you, everyone. Hi, everyone. I'm Alex Alcoholic. I'm the GAR for this group. We need one man to sign up for Tuesday 7 p.m. at 1800 Chicago. That's the 6th of August. Sign up sheet will be at the back table. We just need one man to sign up. Thank you. Hi, my name's Chad. I'm an alcoholic. And as you all know, it's my birthday night. And we're going to have a big change, right? So hang on. We normally line up over here for birthdays. We're not going to do that anymore. Tonight we're going to line up over here, opposite side. And then once you get your card, we're going to have everybody go back again over, except along that wall over there, to get your cake. All right? Everything's over here. Thank you. All right. There may be some here who are not familiar with our tradition of personal anonymity at the public level. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need to always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. Thus, we respectfully ask that AA speakers and AA members not be photographed, video recorded, or identified by full name on audio recordings and in published or broadcast reports of our meetings, including those reports on other media technologies such as the internet. The assurance of anonymity is essential in our efforts to help other problem drinkers who may wish to share our recovery program with us. And our tradition of anonymity reminds us that AA principles come before personalities. And our second speaker tonight is from Fox Hall Chapter 7. Help me welcome Brian M. Hi, everybody. My name is Brian Murphy. I'm an alcoholic. All lined up. My sobriety date is August 9th of 2000. I have a sponsor, and I sponsor Minding Alcoholics Anonymous. And Fox Hall has been my home group for the 23 and some odd years that I've been coming to Alcoholics Anonymous. And Terry has been my sponsor the whole time I've been here, just kind of like you were talking about. I rely on Terry to help me work through things when I can't use the brain that is my alcoholic brain to come through those things. I come from, as my friend Mark always talks about, I'm a member of the CIA, which is the Catholic Irish Alcoholic. That's us. I'm the middle child of seven. My mom and dad had seven kids in 10 years. I'm the exact middle. I have three older brothers, a younger brother, and two younger sisters. My younger brother and one of my older brothers are members of this, of our illustrious secret society, our little bullying league we have here. I took my first drink, well, I took my first drink when I think I was two. My uncle gave me a bottle of Crane Belt premium in a long neck bottle, so I drank that. There's a video similar to that, I remember. But that was an unconscious. My first conscious thought of drinking was when I was in eighth grade. And I went to a Catholic school, and it's called Mosley Church. It's gone now. It used to be right on the corner of Seltzer Boulevard, in Wooddale, over there. But the thing about that was, my dad had got back from fishy, and he had a cooler in the back of his car, which I think about it now, it's like, I'm surprised there was any beer left in that, but there was. There were six of them left in the cooler, and I was helping him unload, and he said, here, go put this cooler downstairs in the locker room. So I take it down, and I open it up, and there's beers in there. And I was like, hmm, okay. So I set it aside, and I put stuff around it so that you couldn't see the cooler. And I had a friend coming over following the weekend to camp out in the backyard, and I started to put ice on it. And then I would come home every day from school and check on the beer, make sure it was there, put ice on it every day. And I would only think about it on the way home. But I knew that this was going to be awesome. So my friend Bart came over, got the cooler, went outside, and we had three beers each. Now, this was eighth grade. I think it was, I don't know, 13, 14, something like that. So we're sitting out in the backyard drinking this beer, and we felt so cool. And we went and got some hockey helmets on, and we ran around the neighborhood. That's what we did after drinking three beers. Bunch of idiots running around with hockey helmets on. So then, you know, for the next couple years, I went to Benilde St. Margaret's. And I tell you that because every once in a while, I get someone and say, hey, I went to that school too. And I realized that Benilde and my college that I went to, and we'll talk about that a little bit, are both feeder programs into alcoholics, not us. So I go to high school, and I start drinking more. But I wouldn't drink during, I was a soccer player, so I wouldn't drink during the season. I would drink off-season. And that's when drinking was fun. When you're 16 years old and you're getting hammered, and you get hung over, and you want to do it all over again. Because it's like, when you're 16 and you're hung over, you rebound pretty quick. You know, it's like, ah, that wasn't so bad. I think I can do worse, so let's figure out how we can do that. And so over the course of the year, and then I had older brothers who could buy for me. And one of the things I was thinking about as I was driving over here, I drove by Meadowbrook Golf Club. We used to do bonfires and keggers over at Meadowbrook when I was in high school. That and Braemar, up on the hill in Braemar. And that was a centerpiece for some of the schools, like St. Louis Park, Edina. I mean, Kelly, we partied with Kelly. I think even with Andy in the basement of my cousin's house, you know. So this program, you're close and far away all at the same time. So my dad had some rules for the boys as we were all growing up. My older brother, Pat, he got all the big rules, right? Like, he's the oldest, going to hit him with the most. Let's see what he can break and start making the parents, you know, just beat him down. So then my next two oldest brothers got it. So finally, by the time I got into high school and I was able to drive, my two rules, I only had two at that point, was be home by one, and don't get arrested. That's it. Don't get arrested and be home by one. So my sophomore year in high school, or my junior year in high school, was February 1988. It was a night that the United States and Russians played hockey. And that was a great night. We were just watching the game, just drinking our faces up, cheering all our, you know, going crazy. Game's over. Best way to celebrate a victory like that is to go play mailbox hockey. Go out drinking and driving, playing mailbox hockey, collecting the mailboxes and putting them in my buddy Bart's car. We had all these mailboxes back here, so what are we going to do with them? We took them over to this girl we knew and didn't like that much in high school and threw them all over her front yard. And then we drove home. We stopped at a PVQ and my friend Jim got real hungry and for some reason, I still can't fathom it to this day, and whenever I see him at reunions I always remind him of this. He grabbed a dozen eggs. What do you do with a dozen eggs in a car at 11? Simple. You throw them out the window. The cops aren't there. So break the lock near the police station. Sound thinking, right? No, because someone pulled in and told the cops and then I'm driving home and we get pulled over and I go to jail and I wasn't home by one and I went to jail. Now, I don't know what happened. To this day, I don't remember going to court. I don't think anything really came of that. It was my first stint in jail but I don't think I got entered in the system but I do remember that BART had to go to two days of dum-dum schools, what we called it back then and that was it. That was the only thing that happened. So then I went along my merry way, graduated, went down to St. Mary's where I went to the University and to the college then and that's when I really started drinking. I started drinking a lot down there. There was a stretch. It took me four and a half years to graduate. We could spend, I could share with you hours of stupid, alcoholic, misbehavior, bad decisions, fear-based decisions and laziness and we'd be here forever and that was four years of that. Suffice it to say that when I finally graduated, my counselor, advisor there, came up and gave me a big hug and he said, can't believe you're leaving. I can't wait for you to be off this campus. That's what I would say and we're going to revisit that campus a little bit later. So then I go get a job. I'm the first person to graduate from college so my dad was really happy. During a lot of the stretch of my life, my dad and I had a tumultuous relationship. I was the middle child. I felt that he didn't care about me and I didn't really care whether he liked me or not because he's got three boys and the girls and my youngest brother was the baby boy and then the girls and I was like, I'll just go about doing my thing and I'm fine with that. I don't need support or anything like that. So when I graduated from college, he came down and he said, well done. I'm really proud of you. That's nice to say. So then I get a job. While I was looking for stuff to do, I got a job in a place called Toros of Aspen. It was a restaurant over here in Hopkins and my title was cook but what I was was a professional cheese melter. That's what I did for a living. I would get a burrito. So we had this kind of mountain Mexican food which, okay, I don't even know what that really means but fine. So I get this burrito and spread cheese on it and I put it up and let it melt and I'd watch it and all this and I'd wait and I'd pull it down, drop it and do another one. Professional cheese melter. I did that for college education. I was really happy about that. I was also trying to get into distribution but I was my best customer because the two things that I love and the things that really got me was alcohol and weed. There's that old song, I get stoned in the morning and drunk in the afternoon. That's how I lived my life. I ended up going back to that campus and I get a girlfriend on that campus and I get that girl pregnant and then I move down to Illinois. All right. This is where things get really exciting. So I'm moving down to Illinois into the mother of my children's dad's house to meet the family for the first time. I had never met him and I'm living in his house. You guys want to be me in this instance, don't you? So I'm driving down there and I'm just freaking out. Like, okay, this is what my life is going to be. So over the course of the next seven years, remember how we talked about the four years in St. Mary's, how we could spend years talking about that? The seven years when I was living in Illinois with my now ex-wife, we had the two girls I had, Megan and Bailey. Those are the two best things that ever happened to me in my life. And that was the best thing that came out of that union. Everything else was horrible. And the night that we got married, I was walking down the aisle and I was saying, this is a big mistake. I should just run. And a few years after we got divorced, I was talking to my ex-wife and she was saying, as she's watching me walk down the aisle, like, there's that door I could go right through and be out of there. Like mine. So that union just didn't work out. And my alcoholism was really, kicked in down there. I mean, there was one two week stretch. After we separated, I moved into this apartment building in Arlington Heights, Illinois. I moved in with a bag of clothes, a case of beer and an ounce of marijuana. That's what you need to live on, right? So I moved in and I met my neighbor and over the course of the next two weeks, my alcoholism kicked in. I started drinking a six pack and went to a tall boy six pack, went to a tall boy six pack with those airplane bottles of vodka to a pint. By the end of the next week, I was just, I was drinking vodka out of the bottle. It's why I need a glass. It comes in one. And I would, then I would put a line on it and only drinking this much. And then that didn't work. And then I would be hungover the next day. It's like, okay, I'm not going to do this tonight. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go home I'm going to eat a nice dinner and I'm going to go to bed early. And I'm sitting at my desk at the office sweating because I'm hungover feeling like, okay, like a monkey just wiped his feet on my tongue. I'm just dying. And I decide, okay, let's do this. So I get some coffee in me and around noon, I have some lunch and I'm feeling a little bit better. Around three o'clock, I've drank some water. I'm feeling a little better. Okay. Before the inevitable, hey, we're going to go out to the bar. You want to come out? Oh, yeah, I can. I can have one. I can have one. And then I stop at the liquor store on the way home and buy a bottle of vodka and drink. And that happened over and over again. I couldn't stop. And I didn't know how. Finally, I get my last DWI. I had two previous. I get my last DWI on March 17th, 1994. No, I'm sorry, 1991 at nine o'clock in the evening. The blood alcohol content of 0.25. Yeah, that was. And then the officer said, how much have you been drinking tonight? And I gave him, you know, our answer, which is a couple, a couple. The thing he didn't ask me is how much I drank the night before, which was two bottles of vodka at that point. It was still in my system. I was a mess. I end up going to court. I have to do either 60 days in DuPage County Jail or go to treatment. Hmm. Choices. I decided to take treatment. And he said, you get a year to complete this treatment and come back. I know you did. Bonus. So I left Illinois and I moved back to Minnesota. I got this job. And so if I say speed up a little bit, I ended up going into treatment in 1994 at Fairview Riverside. I don't know, Fairview Southdale in their outpatient program because I didn't fill out all the paperwork to go inpatient. That was my first stint. And that's when I got introduced to alcohol. Now, I started going to meetings here and there. I was that guy that would stay sober a week and drink, stay sober a couple more, you know, a month and drink. I started going to meetings that the funny thing is I was living in my parents' house over in Edina. There was a meeting every night less than a mile from my house. I didn't even know it. I didn't even know it. And I stayed sober for two years and then I had this guy named Mike who was going to be my sponsor. And Mike called all the guys he sponsored together to tell us all that he was moving out of town. His job had transferred him. But being a good alcoholic mind, I heard and here's the funny thing. There's two guys and this is getting a little confusing on the mic. So Buffalo Mike and Mike going to Dallas. Mike going to Dallas was a sponsor. Buffalo Mike was the other guy who was a pigeon with me and him with Mike going to Dallas. Mike going to Dallas said to us, hey, I got transferred so I'm going to have to, you know, we're going to have to find you guys some people to sponsor. So I'm going to give you a sponsor. Mike from Buffalo and I heard, hey, you know what? I don't like you guys and I asked my company to transfer me as far as Dallas is the best they can do so I'm taking it. And one night Mike was sharing that from the podium and he and I never talked about it but he shared that and I'm in the back going, what? Because that's the exact same thing I thought and then Mike identified himself as alcoholic and he was sharing stuff that happened to me and stuff that I felt the same way. So I'm thinking to myself, well, if Mike thought that, if Mike feels that and says he's alcoholic, I got to look at that for myself. I didn't do it right away. I went back out drinking again and then I started dating girls because I figured girls would fix me. That didn't work out at all. Catch and release period of my life. Catch these women and find out what kind of guy I'm in and they release me off into the wild. So I go back to go back to Alcoholics Anonymous after one of these particularly rough and I run into the same people I've seen in meetings before. So I decided, if this is working for them, I got to look at this for me. So I go to Fox Hall Chapter 7 when we were across the street over there and Katrina, my favorite Katrina, is sharing from the podium and she talks about how she busted out a St. Peter's school or hospital for the mentally insane and alcoholic or something like that. She takes a dump truck and drives back to Minneapolis and I'm like, I love that woman. So I go up and I talk to her and I say, that's a great story. You're my people. Will you do that? That's something I would consider doing. And I said, I'm looking for a sponsor. You got someone you could refer me over to? And she sent me over to Terry. So I started working with Terry and I've been with Terry now for almost 24 years and my dynamic with Terry has changed because before it would be, hey, I did this. And he would say, ha ha ha, that was a dumb mistake. Now it's, I'm thinking of doing this, what do you think about that? Because that's a sponsor laugh. If you don't get the sponsor laugh from your sponsor, you're not using them right. Because that sponsor laugh tells us two things. One, he's so glad he's not me and they laugh so glad as well. And then the other part of that is, you know, that puts me at ease. Like, oh, okay, yeah, that was dumb. So, now I rely on him to help me when I come up with ideas and a lot of them are bad. He talks me through like one of them. So I go along for the course of, you know, 14 or so years. At one point, I'm ready to go down and go to my 25 year college reunion. I go down to my college reunion, I'm planning on making amends to all of my old college roommates. Now, I'm stressing planning on it. Am I going to do it? I don't know because I was talking with Justin earlier and steps one, two, three, and four, and five for me were easy. Fourth and fifth step is an easy step for me to do. I can, I know all that. I did all that stuff. I don't know, for me, I'm going to go down and see what kind of dumb I, dumb guy I was. It's steps, it's step nine that is a terrifying one for me. That's the one that I have trouble with. So I'm going down here and I have a whole bunch of people that I need to make step nine to in the same area. So the thought in my head was I'll just tell everybody. They won't know. I'll feel bad about it. Then the girl I was dating at the time said, hey, I'm going to come with you to your reunion. I said, okay. So we go down there and I make amends. And I, I thought it was going to be horrifying and terrible. And for me, internally, it was horrifying and terrible. But talking to the people, they were like, oh yeah, that makes sense. When I tell them I was an alcoholic, they say, well, we knew. It's surprising you didn't. And so I'm making amends for these guys. I get to the one guy I really needed to make and he's listening to me and he says, yeah, I'm going to go through all that. And then he says, I bet you're doing that a lot down here, aren't you? Yeah, okay. So there you go. A few years later, we're at, going to a Twins game. My dad likes to take us to Twins games. So I'm at a Twins game. My younger brother gets just liquored up. Professionally drunk. I mean, it was a good show. And he's yelling at me about not participating in his family. So I, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to the Twins game. So, I, of course, the right thing to do would say, yes, you're right. I'll do something about that. It's hard for me to do the right thing at that time. It was, you're attacking me. I'm fighting back. It's like, yeah, I leave. I call my sponsor. Expecting him to support me in my decision to say, you're wrong. You should really, you know, relax. We'll deal with this later. Harry's only comment was, well, was he right? Ah, geez, yes. So I end up getting on my bike the next day and driving over to his house on it. Knock on his door. Hi, I'm here to participate in your family's lives. We spent the next three hours talking about Alcoholics Anonymous. And he has been sober now for 14 years. The reason I say that is because I live my life from the inside out. I do these things. I do these, I'm of service. I go to church now, like Nick was saying, I participate at my church. And what's interesting about that is that I don't even think about it anymore and I share that I'm an alcoholic with people at work. I just, it's part of me and it's part of my message to others when they meet me. We talk, hey, there's this experience. I share that I was in this round table down at church one day and I was talking about spiritual growth. And what is spiritual growth in the Catholic Church and also in other instances? How does that work for you? And I tell them. Well, I go to Alcoholics Anonymous, I do this, this, this. A few days later, I get a phone call from one of the guys that was at the table. He said, hey, I'd like to talk to you about this. And I said, yeah, that's great, Sam. Let's go ahead and do that. He said, hey, can I ask you a question? He said, sure. I said, who told you who did? He said, oh, tell him to think about it. I just do it. So it's, I don't know how I got on that tangent. We did. So there you go. A couple of years ago, my mom got sick and she got really sick. And we were saying goodbyes. It was 2020 and she had not much time left and I'm sitting and this was really bad because we had to talk through a window. It was COVID and all that stuff. And so I end up sitting on the bed with her and I say, hey, mom, what do you want me to do after you're done? What can I do to honor you and take care of your legacy and my life? And she said, well, that AA stuff that you're doing seems pretty good. Why don't you just keep doing that? I'm like, all right, I can do that. And then she passed away and I'm sitting on the bed with her and I say, hey, mom, what do you want me to do after you're done? And she said, well, that AA stuff seems pretty good. Why don't you just keep doing that? I'm like, all right, I can do that. And then she passed away and then a few years later, my dad passed away. And the last day of my dad's life, I was, it was a Saturday and actually he just, oh, it was in February. I got a phone call. It was a Saturday afternoon around one or two o'clock in the afternoon and he said, hey, can you come down and help me? My TV's busted. Because, you know, I was really annoyed. I was tired. I didn't want to deal with it. I called Terry and said, my dad wants me to come. I don't want to do it. I want to send somebody else. Terry said, well, it's just your dad. Why don't you go help him out? Because my dad and I had repaired our relationship and I had repaired it and I really love spending time with him. So I go down there and he's making this noise in his throat and it is, basically, I called the nurse and the nurse said, oh, you should get all your brothers and sisters over here because it was a death threat. Dad was going to die that day. And he ended up passing away. So, I'm glad I went and we got to hang out, got him in bed and we all sat and watched him as he slowly died. And so, dad was laying on the bed and the nursing home or the funeral home sent one person with the litter to take my dad out. It's like, there's no way she can do that. So, what I did is, I helped strip the bed, wrap my dad up, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, wrap my dad up, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in bed, put him in 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