A Deep Dive Into Connections

ever feel, like sometimes just being around other people takes way more energy than you thought you had. Oh, tell me about it. Like seriously, sometimes I need a nap after just grabbing coffee with someone. Right. And it's not like I don't want to connect with people. Yeah, we're supposed to crave connection, right? Totally. We're hardwired for it, but it's like sometimes it just feels like an uphill battle. You know, you're definitely not alone in feeling that way. Right. Connection is a big topic these days, you know, loneliness, polarization, this idea of everyone kind of struggling to find their people. Their tribe. Exactly. So it's no wonder so many of us feel like connecting can be exhausting. And that's actually what made me think of you when I heard this sermon. Oh, yeah. Which one? Connecting, by Pastor Jennifer Bodset. Oh, yeah. I remember you sending that to me. What stood out to you? Honestly, the whole connection and sacrifice idea. Yeah. What was it that caught me off guard at first? Well, it is a pretty powerful concept when you really think about it. Right. Because it's like we always hear about how connection should be easy and effortless. And if it's not, then there's something wrong. Exactly. But she kind of flips the script on that whole idea. So how does she approach it then? Well, she goes deep on this idea of being living sacrifices. Okay. You know, pulling from Romans 12.12. And like the way she talks about actually picturing your physical body as a sacrifice. It's so intense. Yeah. It makes you pay attention. It's definitely a vivid image. And it makes you think about your own life, too. Right? Totally. Like where do you feel that cost of connection the most? Oh, that's such a good question. Is it in those moments, maybe right before a tough conversation, you get that tightness in your chest? Oh, yes. Or even just like forcing yourself to be on at a social event. And really all you want to do is go home and put your PJs on. Exactly. Yeah. And you know what I appreciated about Pastor Bodset? What's that? She doesn't sugarcoat it. She just lays it all out there. All those examples from Romans. About what that sacrifice actually looks like in our lives. Yes. Like letting go of always needing to be right. Okay. Actually pursuing peace instead of just saying we want it. It's harder than it sounds. For sure. Oh. And connecting with people who are like totally different from us. Right. Challenging ourselves. Yeah. And then there's the big one. Choosing forgiveness over revenge. Oof. Yeah. That's a tough one. Okay. And that's where I think that whole sober judgment part of the passage comes in, right? Oh, interesting. How so? Well, it's about checking your ego, you know? Especially with those people who just really push your buttons. Oh, I understand. Because it's totally natural to want to protect yourself. Who wants to be uncomfortable all the time? Right. But real connection, like the kind Pastor Bodset is talking about. Yeah. That requires us to move beyond just protecting ourselves. That is so true. And you know what else I appreciated about her approach? She didn't shy away from the hard parts. What do you mean? Like she got real about how freaking hard it is to actually live up to those ideals all the time. Especially when conflict comes up, right? For sure. Because, let's be honest, conflict is where those ideals are really put to the test. Absolutely. It kind of makes you think about your own life a little differently. It does, yeah. Like, where do you find yourself struggling the most to meet those standards? All the time. No, but seriously. Like, maybe it's that family thing that never seems to get resolved. Or a tough co-worker situation. Oh, yes. We've all been there. We have. And this is where I think Pastor Bodset dropped some serious wisdom. Okay. I'm listening. She makes this super important distinction between spiritual abuse and, like, true accountability. Oh, interesting. Because I can see how those verses in Romans could be misinterpreted. Totally. Yeah. And it makes you to fall into that trap of, well, the Bible says I have to forgive them no matter what. Right. Right. And she's like, hold on a second. There's a huge difference between enduring harmful behavior and holding each other accountable to a higher standard. Which can still be hard. Don't get me wrong. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. But it's about recognizing that your own safety and well-being matter, too. Yes. And it also kind of makes you look inward a little, you know? How so? Do you tend to assume the worst in others right off the bat? Or are you more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt? That is a really good question. Kind of a tough one to answer about yourself, honestly. It is. It is. But, like you were saying, it's all about finding that balance, right? Yes. Exactly. Sometimes it really is on us to shift our perspective. To renew our minds, as the passage says. Exactly. To not always go straight to that negative place. I like that. It takes practice, though. Definitely. And it actually leads perfectly into Pastor Botset's next point transformation. Okay. I'm intrigued. So, she asks this really thought-provoking question. Hit me with it. And I'm paraphrasing here, but it was something like, think about your relationships. Do they allow you to be completely honest, both to and about each other? Whoa. Okay. That one hit me right between the eyes. Right. Look. We all love a good ego boost every now and then. Of course. But she's getting at something much deeper here. She is. It's like we're real with each other, even when it's hard. Yes. And you know what? It's actually kind of uncomfortable. But in a good way, yeah. I know exactly what you mean. It's like there's a difference between someone telling you what you want to hear and someone telling you what you need to hear, even if it's not always pretty. You know? 100%. It's like Pastor Botset says, there's a big difference between affirmation and true love. Ooh. I like that. Because real love isn't about just telling someone what they want to hear, right? It's not about blindly cheering them on no matter what. It's about being brave enough to actually help each other see our blind spots. Okay. Yeah. Those areas where we might be like seriously kidding ourselves. It's exactly. And that is tough to both hear it and to say it, but it's like she said, sometimes we just need someone to lovingly... Or maybe with a little tough love. Uh-huh. Right. And I want to point out that maybe our wishful thinking about our gifts doesn't actually line up with reality. And you know what? What? I loved how she actually used humor to make that point. Me too. Because let's be real, it can be a hard pill to swallow otherwise. Seriously. And then she went on to explain that those blind spots, you know, the ones we were just talking about. Yeah. Those can actually become real barriers to connection. Oh, wow. I never thought about it like that. It's like we think we're protecting ourselves, but really we're just building walls. Okay. That's fascinating. Yeah. So how do we like break down those walls? Well, that's where I think the sacrifice comes in again. Okay. Dr. Batza actually suggests that we have to be willing to do two things. Lamb on me. We have to be willing to both offer our own gifts. Okay. And acknowledge our needs. Both at the same time. Yes. Like instead of just always wishing that we were amazing at everything. Which let's be honest, we all do sometimes. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And focus more on what we are good at. Yes. And then got better at asking for help with the rest. Okay. That's good. It's about being honest with ourselves about our limitations. Jesus. And then allowing other people to help us. You know, that actually reminds me of something else she said that really struck me. Oh, yeah. What was that? It was that whole thing about how we can find new connections, even if we've been part of a community, any community, not just a church for years. Yes. I'm so glad you brought that up. Like even in those long-term relationships, it's like she's saying we still need to be open to that vulnerability and growth. Totally. Because we're always changing and growing, right? So our relationships need to be able to change and grow too. That's such a good point because otherwise they just kind of stagnate. Exactly. Pastor Botset actually used this really great metaphor about a garden. Oh, I love a good garden metaphor. She was talking about how even in a garden that's been cultivated for years, you still have to be willing to till the soil to plant new seeds. If you want to keep seeing new things grow. Precisely. But I think it's the same with our relationships. She's not saying we should abandon our long-time friends or anything like that, but rather to try approaching all our relationships with a fresh set of eyes. With that willingness to go deeper. Yeah. I love that. It really is. It's like that quote, what is it? Something like vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It's about having the courage to show up and be seen even when we have no control over how it turns out. Oh, I like that. And I feel like that's especially true when we're talking about those really deep long-term connections. Yeah, totally. It's like being willing to keep showing up authentically, even when it's hard, even when we want to run and hide, been there. It's letting go of that need to control everything, control the narrative. And just let people see the real us. Exactly. And that's where the real grace happens, both for us as individuals and in the relationship itself. You know, that reminds me of something else Pastor Bonsett said towards the end of the sermon. Something about how even people who've been part of a church community for years can still find new and deeper connections. It's true. I remember that. Did that resonate with you at all? It did. It's like she's saying connection isn't some finish line you cross. It's not like you get to a certain point and you're done. It's an ongoing journey. It is. And it's a journey we never actually arrive at, right? Exactly. There's always something new to learn, new experiences to have, and more that we can share with each other. Which makes me think about that whole idea of connection as a sacrifice. Because it takes effort, you know? Absolutely. Intentionality, a willingness to actually put in the work. Yes. Even and maybe especially when it's hard. Okay. Yes. That's a good point. Is it easy to fall into the trap of thinking that connections should just happen naturally? Tell me about it. Gee. Effortlessly. But that's just not always realistic, right? No. Not at all. But what if, and I know this sounds kind of crazy, but what if we approached it with the same kind of intentionality and dedication that we bring to other parts of our lives? Oh, that's interesting. You mean like our careers or even our hobbies? Exactly. We put so much effort into those things. Way more than our relationships sometimes? Right. So I think we were more proactive about connection. Yes. What if we made a conscious effort to cultivate deeper and more meaningful connections? To actually like nurture those relationships? Be more present. Yes. And to really show up as our most authentic selves. Okay. I love that. So to wrap it all up, it seems like we have three main takeaways from Pastor Botzett's sermon. Number one, connection requires sacrifice. It does. And we choose to put in the effort to be vulnerable and to choose forgiveness even, or maybe especially when it's really hard. Yes. 100%. Takeaway number two, it's going to be challenging. Oh, it is. We're going to have to face our egos, our assumptions about other people. And those blind spots. Exactly. All those things we don't want to admit we have even to ourselves. So true. But those challenges are how we grow. They are. And takeaway number three, if we're doing it right, connection changes us. It does. It makes us more loving, more compassionate, more aware of ourselves and the needs of the people around us. And who knows, maybe we'll even start to feel a little less exhausted by it all. Wouldn't that be nice? Less drained by just being human. For real. You know, it's funny. When you were going over those takeaways just now, it actually made me think of something else Pastor Botzett said that's really stuck with me. Oh yeah. What was that? She said that even if you've been going to the same church or been part of any community really for years, there's still always the potential for new and deeper connections. And she encouraged everyone listening to ask themselves, what would it take to find those connections like right here, right now in this season of my life? Wow. Okay. Yeah, that's good. And it's a good reminder too, because it's easy to get comfortable, you know, to stop putting ourselves out there. But that's not how we grow. Nope. Not at all. We keep losing connection, keep seeking it out, even when it's hard, even when we're tired. It's true. The connection is powerful. It is. And it can totally transform us if we let it. So to all of you listening, that's something to think about this week. What would it take for you to open yourself up to those new and deeper connections, no matter where you are in your journey? Such a good question. Food for thought.