HL November 6,12

The speaker discusses five simple things that can change one's life, according to an article by John Hawkins. The first is to make oneself impervious to criticism by not allowing insults to impact them. The second is to learn how to make final decisions and not second-guess oneself. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-development and acquiring skills to build self-confidence. They also mention that criticism from others should not be taken seriously if one knows their true intentions. Overall, the speaker encourages focusing on personal growth and not letting others' opinions affect their path. Hey, good day everybody. Listen, I want to talk a little bit about five simple things that can change your life. I was reading an article by a gentleman by the name of John Hawkins, and he was talking about five different things that you can do to change your life, and I just wanted to share those with you because I think they're really applicable to becoming successful, period. Obviously, I'm talking specifically about Primerica, but I think this applies to anything that you're going to enter into. It doesn't matter what it is. It's really great stuff. It's really great advice. I'm going to add my two cents in there as well as some of the stuff that he wrote. Number one thing you need to do is make yourself impervious to criticism, starting with adopting a quote from Frederick Douglass as a motto. He says, a gentleman will not insult me, and no man, not a gentleman, can insult me. Because as a practical matter, what does that mean? That anyone who insults is by virtue of the fact that he is insulting unworthy of my time, attention, or serious consideration. Some people might argue that someone who's deliberately insulting you might also have a legitimate point too. Putting aside the fact that happens about as often as Lady Gaga turns down a chance to wear a weird dress, if the point is worth making, someone else will surely come along and make it as well, and then I can respond to it. Once you internalize this sort of thinking, insults no longer have any impact because the very fact that someone's treating you in a deliberate manner makes his opinion or her opinion irrelevant. One of the bottom lines is, if you know who you are, what your true intentions are, then it doesn't really matter what other people think, as long as you're not hurting anyone. What people think of us, what people think of you, is none of your business. I know for me, one of the things that I learned how to do, because I've had a lot of criticism over the years and even today still have criticism, I don't really pay attention to it anymore because my point of view on that is, these people that are criticizing me, they don't really know me. They think they know me, but they don't really know me. Nobody really knows you and what your intentions are except you. In the final analysis, no one can really, really know you except for you knowing yourself. My intent, and it has always been my intent, the foundation, the principle that I live by in my business life anyways, what has always been my focus, what has always been my goal is to help people with their self-image. I have a psychology degree. I was actually on the way to becoming a clinical psychologist before reality hit me and I found out you couldn't make any money becoming a clinical psychologist. But that's what I wanted to do and I wanted to help people improve their self-images. The way that I have done that in Primerica is to encourage people to grow themselves, to work on themselves, to improve, to grow their self-confidence through growing their skill sets because the more skilled we are at what we do, the more confidence that we have and the better that we feel about ourselves. I think what really prevents most people from being self-confident and feeling good about themselves is they've never really committed themselves to acquiring skill sets that would enable them to have success and to have a big life, a vibrant life. I think that's the number one problem I see in Primerica. I can see people come in and very few people really, really pay the price to self-develop, to develop themselves, develop their sales skills, develop their people skills, develop their leadership skills, develop their time management skills, develop their skills in relation to what they're offering people and knowing their products and services inside out so they can clearly articulate why it makes sense for someone to do business with them or being able to articulate clearly why it makes sense for somebody to join their business if that person is motivated to make more money or become successful. The more we work on ourselves, the more we know who we are. I know who I am. I know what I'm trying to do with my business and my business life. I know exactly what I'm trying to do. When I hear criticism or somebody says something about, the actor doesn't come to meetings or he doesn't do this, it doesn't bother me anymore because I know they don't know who I am. I know they don't really get what I'm trying to do with my life. Because they're ignorant about that, they don't know what they're saying. It's kind of like Jesus said, forgive them Lord for they know not what they do. It's really the same thing when people criticize you. Unless they really know you, which virtually nobody does really, then they don't know what they're talking about. They just don't. I don't mean that. I don't get angry with them. I just look at those people and go, they just are ignorant. They don't know what they're talking about. There's no sense in getting angry with them because they just don't know what they're talking about. Why would you get angry with somebody that was completely unaware of the facts? When people criticize you and you know who you are and you know what you're trying to do with your life and your intent is to help other people and to make other people's lives better, because the fact is in our business, unless you're helping people improve their life, if it's a client, you're helping them reduce their debt or eliminate their debt. You're helping them save and invest money so they can have more money in retirement. You're helping them have the proper amount of protection so that if they die prematurely and they're the breadwinner, their family doesn't suffer financially. That's what you're trying to do. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. In terms of helping people in the business, if you get them involved and you're a true leader and you're a trainer and you're a coach and you're a mentor of people and you bring them into your business and you teach them how to be successful in our business so they can make more money and become successful in their own right through whatever you teach them, and that's what your function is, that's what your goal is, and people criticize you, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous that you would give them any credence, that you would pay attention to that. That's kind of how I look at this thing. I just don't pay attention to those people. They don't know what they're talking about. Poor them, right? So the same thing even personally. People like me, don't like me. I know who I am. I know what I'm about. I would never, ever do anything to hurt anybody. I would never take advantage of anybody. I would never steal from anybody. I would never do anything, any time, to hurt another individual. I don't believe in making fun of people. I don't believe in doing any of that stuff. They don't know me. If you feel the same way, if you know who you are, if you know you're a decent human being, you know your intentions are honorable, does that mean you're perfect, that you make every right decision? Of course not. Nobody does that. But when you know who you are, then criticism is basically a non-issue. Those of you who get really upset when somebody criticizes you, the fact is you don't really know who you are. You're not sure, so you let that affect you. What I'm saying is you've got to first decide who you are and know who you are. If you're a decent human being, you're a good person, and your intention is always honorable, even though you might make mistakes, but your intent is correct. You wouldn't take advantage of people. You wouldn't intentionally try to hurt somebody. You wouldn't try to sell somebody a product that wasn't in their best interest. You wouldn't try to get somebody involved in the business just so you could take advantage of them. If you're an honorable person, then you can make yourself impervious to criticism and just keep going forward, trying to build the business, the life that you feel is best for your customers, your people within your business, and your family. That's all you can do, right? What other people think of us after that is absolutely none of our business. Number two, learn how to make a final decision. He says, I have many flaws, but one of them isn't a lack of decisiveness, and I feel I'm the same way. I don't have any problem making decisions. I'm good at making decisions, however, like a lot of people, I used to do too much rehashing, like overthinking what I needed to do or that sort of thing. Did I make the right call? Should I reconsider? Then when things did go wrong, I used to kick myself because I obviously made the wrong decision, right, wrong. There's no obviously correct decision. Sometimes it's not obvious. You have two almost equally attractive options, and you must choose between them knowing that ultimately it may be wrong. So how do you deal with it? He says, I adopted a rule that I learned from reading billionaire Richard Branson, right? That's from Virgin Records, Virgin Atlantic Airlines, he's a billionaire. He says, when you have to make a decision, think carefully about it, pick the best option, and then don't revisit it again unless you have, unless you receive new information. This rule allowed me to stop overthinking decisions and quit second guessing myself so that I could make the best possible call and live with it. If it works for a corporate genius like Branson, it'll work for the rest of us too. So when you make a decision, that's all you can do. You can take the information you have at your disposal, you know, in front of you. If you need to, what you need to do is you need to, like when making the decision to join Primerica, one of the things I did before I made the decision to really get after Primerica is I read everything I could on insurance, cash value insurance, everything I could on mutual funds, everything I could on what the, you know, what it is that our company was doing for people. And as I read that, right, and I've got, I, you know, filled myself up with a lot of good information, right, independent information, not stuff that they gave me but stuff I read, you know, through doing research myself, I made that decision and it was an easy decision because I had all the facts, right, and I made that decision. And so same thing when I made the decision to join Primerica, right, I looked at where I was going in my business life with the company, you know, I was in the jewelry business, where I was headed and what the potential was with that, and then I looked at Primerica and what they were doing, which I knew the products were right, I knew the concepts were right, I knew what they were doing was right, you know, I knew it was better than buying, you know, cash value insurance and investing the difference and investing in an insurance policy. So I knew that. I knew it was the right thing. So I made that decision and I had some opposition, but you know what? I just made the decision because I knew it was the right decision after doing all my due diligence. And so once you've done that, then you make it and you just go with it and don't worry about it, don't revisit it until unless you get new information that proves the original information correct. And that's what you need to do. You need to know how to make decisions and stop worrying about what everybody's going to say or think when you make that decision. If you do your due diligence, you're going to make a good decision. Most of the time. Not 100%. Nobody makes perfect decisions. I wish we did, but we don't, okay? We're human beings. But all you can do is take all the information and then you make a decision. You know, like today as I'm doing this, you know, preparing this call, it's the day before the presidential election and other elections that are taking place, you know, Congressional and Senate elections. And in making your final decision on who you're going to vote for, you know, you have a responsibility to do your due diligence. Really check out whatever candidate you're thinking about voting for, right? What are they about? What do they think? Are there goals and visions for your city, your state, your country in alignment with yours or not? And then you make the decision. And that's it. It's over, right? Then you go on. Could you make a mistake? Possibly, because you never know what another person is going to do or not do. But the fact is, you get all the information, you make the decision, and you go forward. And you know it over time, right? If you do your due diligence, you're going to make more right decisions than wrong decisions. And all you have to do is make, you know, 51, 52, 53 percent and you can win. Number three, the key to getting over mistakes. The key is getting over mistakes. You know, we all make mistakes. He says, in my high school days, I used to obsess over mistakes that I'd made. I'd kick myself again and again. Why did I say that? Why didn't I do this instead? How could I have done that so badly, right? Like many people, I believe that kind of self-flagellation, right, was motivational. Like sometimes people beat themselves up, they think it will motivate me to do better. How if I didn't beat myself up, I couldn't, could I get inspired, how could I get inspired to move forward? Like a lot of people have that thought process. I know people, you know, that have that thought process. They think if I beat myself up, if I complain and I'm negative and all that, it will inspire me to do more. Folks, that's delusional. That is complete delusion. He says, unfortunately, again, like many people, I was 100 percent wrong. Beating up on yourself is counterproductive and folks, it is. Number one, it lowers your self-esteem. It makes you feel bad about you and it discourages you from trying to improve yourself and it discourages you from making any decisions sometimes, right, because you made a poor one in the past. See, that's very problematic because the only way to get better at anything is to try, fail, get up, brush yourself up and try again. Then you repeat until you succeed. The most successful people, they do correct their course, but they don't spend a lot of time kicking themselves in the behind because it's a tough course to begin with. So everybody that's succeeded, I've made lots and lots of mistakes, folks, and building my business in the early two or three years of my business, I made tons of mistakes, okay, but I didn't go because I made a mistake, I'm a loser. What I did, I said, okay, that doesn't work, let me try this. That doesn't work, let me try this. Oh, this works, let me try to get better at this. That's what you do, right? The other thing you do is to minimize mistakes, is to improve your skill sets, improve your knowledge base. The better you are, the fewer mistakes you're going to make, right? That's the bottom line. So you get better. So how do you get to the point in your life, how do you get to that point where you can get over your mistakes? For me, he says, it began with accepting the subtle truth. You always do the best you can right now. What I've always told people, I said, look, people do the best they can based on their current level of awareness. You know, like I've made mistakes in my life, right? I've made many mistakes. But they were based on my current level of awareness at that time. If I was to go back, would I repeat those same mistakes knowing what I know now, knowing that that was the wrong thing, choice to make? Of course not, right? Nobody would do that. So what happens when you make a mistake, you become more aware. You go, wow, that doesn't work. That was a dumb thing I did. I am not going to repeat that. Why are you not going to repeat that? Because now you have a new level of awareness of what that choice brings to your life. So you don't make the same mistake again. Well, some people do make the same mistakes over and over. But that's because their awareness, you know, quotient probably is pretty low. But the point is, you know, when you're a teenager, when you're a teenager, you make a bunch of choices, right? That you would never make when you're 30 years old or 35 years old or 40 years old. There's a lot of things you choose in your 20s that if you're 40 or 50, I'm in my 50s, I would never make those choices. I look back on some of the choices I made in my Primerica business, right? That I would not repeat again. Knowing what I know now, knowing the repercussions of those choices, I wouldn't do those over again. Why not? Because I'm just more aware now than I was that that happens. When people do things that seem dumb, people can only do what their current level of awareness allows them to do. That's what people do. So when you see people doing really goofy, dumb things that you think, oh my God, why did they do that? Well, I can tell you why they did that. Because they lack awareness. They lack awareness of what that decision and the repercussions of that decision is going to bring to them. They're not aware of it. Nobody intentionally says, I want to screw up my life. I want to cause problems in my life. I want people to dislike me. I want people to be mad at me. Nobody wakes up in the morning saying, I want a mess in my life. They make those decisions because they lack awareness. All the dumb things that you think you've done in your life really are just at that point in your life were determined by a lack of awareness. Today, you've got to think about some of the things you did back in the day that you would never do again today. Why? Why won't you repeat them? Because you have a higher level of awareness. One of the most important things as human beings that we should strive for is to grow our level of awareness in all things, in relationships, in business, in finance, you name it. The greater your level of awareness, the fewer mistakes you're going to make. Are you going to be mistake-free? Of course not. Nobody is because we always have some level of unawareness. But the bottom line is over time, you're going to make better decisions the more aware you become. That's how it works. Today, how I'm able to run my business and run my life and have things go well because I'm just a lot more aware today at 55 than I was when I was 35, a lot more, not even close. That's the key. At first glance, that statement appears to be obviously incorrect, right? That's what a lot of people think. Does a bright student who fails a test because she didn't or he didn't study do the best they can? Does a boxer who loses a fight because he showed up out of shape do the best he can? The correct answer is yes. They did the best they could at that moment based on the decisions they made at that moment up to that, leading up to that. That kid who didn't study for his exam, he did the best he could based on what he had done to that point, right? How does this set off a chain of productive questions? Take the student, for example. If she's bright or he's bright, how can it be that they got a D doing their best? Could she or he do better than that? Absolutely. How? By studying. Why hasn't she or he been studying? Because they put it off until late at night. They get tired and it doesn't bother them, one of those reasons. How could they improve their best? By getting an earlier regular study time. That's how they can do it. What's more productive? Wrapping yourself around for failing or recognizing your best wasn't even close to as good as you could be and trying to figure out how to improve. A lot of times, if you go on an appointment and you haven't really prepared, you haven't done your preparation for that appointment, you haven't done a great job, you kind of haphazardly did your financial needs analysis or you didn't prepare, you haven't really studied our products, you don't know our products really well or you don't know the difference between cash value and term and you haven't prepared yourself. When you do the appointment, you do the best you can based on what you've done to prepare. What you can do in the future is prepare better, over-prepare so that you can have better results. Bottom line is you're always going to do the best you can based on what you've done up to that point in terms of preparation, study, whatever. What you've got to do is you've got to improve your preparation. The better your preparation, the fewer mistakes you're going to make. Number four, how to stop over-reacting to minor issues. This is a big problem for a lot of people. They over-react to minor issues and then they create other problems through their over-reaction, especially in the business. If someone or their teammates doesn't do something they said they were going to do and they over-react, they get angry with them, then that creates other problems for them. You've got to learn how to stop over-reacting to minor issues. As I mentioned before, I used to be very uncomfortable with conflict. I used to be really uncomfortable. I still am uncomfortable with conflict. I don't like conflict. I try to do everything I can to avoid conflict. That's still who I am. One little remark or flare-up could bother me. I was also a worrier. What if this person gets mad at me? What if I look foolish in front of the class? What if I give a speech? What if I do this meeting and I don't do a good job? People think I'm goofy or whatever. What if I don't do well on the test? What if I don't close this sale or I don't recruit this person? Because once someone told me that if something was bothering me, I should ask myself a simple question. Will this matter in five years? It's a really good question. I learned this a long time ago. A lot of stuff. I used to be a worrier too. When I was young, even when I was in high school, I started thinking about time. For me, if you really think about time in relation to the planet Earth, the amount of time that we're on this Earth, even if you live to 100 years of age, is nothing. It's a very, very minuscule period of time. It's actually almost no time. If you understand that concept right, but it's very little. Will this matter in five years? I used to say to myself, in a thousand years, is this going to make a difference? In five years, is it going to make a difference? In a year, is it going to make a difference? Most of you couldn't even tell if I said, what mistake did you make today a year ago? Can you remember the mistake you made? Because you probably did make one mistake. Most times we make at least one mistake a day. What mistake did you make a year ago? Can you remember it? Of course you can't. Nobody else can either. Nobody else cares. Will this matter in five years? Absolutely not. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the answer is no. Slowly but surely, he says, I worried less and less. I also learned something wonderful. Mental habits are like muscles. The more you use those muscles, the more powerful they become. I don't even have to ask the question. I just assume that if something comes up, I'll be able to handle it. Guess what? I'm almost always right. When I'm not, I learn something from it. This is really good, what he just said here. I assume that if something comes up, I'll be able to handle it. You know how you can stop worrying? When you make the decision that no matter what happens, you're going to handle it, you're going to figure out a solution, there might be some tough consequences. It might be a little pain, but you can handle it. Unless somebody kills you or you die in an accident or something like that, whatever comes up, you can handle it. You'll get over it. You'll get through it. There will be a time down the road when it won't even matter. Why don't you just in advance say, no matter what comes up, make the decision, I'm going to handle it. I'm going to do whatever. If I screw up a sale and I find out why, then I'm going to study and make sure that I don't make that same mistake. If I screw up a recruit, I'm going to do the same thing or whatever. It doesn't matter. If I do a presentation and it doesn't go well or if I speak at a fast start school and I just kind of suck at it, the next time you study more, you prepare better and it doesn't become a problem. You can handle it. You might be a little embarrassed in the moment, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe, so what? It says, guess what, I'm almost always right. In this, you always learn something from it. One of the things, I'll give you a little, I'm a golf nut, so when I was learning how to play golf, I didn't start playing golf until I was 35. I was terrible. I was like anybody else who first starts playing that game, you just suck in the beginning and I don't like being bad at something. If I like it, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get good at it, so then what I did is I said, I don't want to be a bad golfer, so guess what I started doing? I read everything I could on golf. I started taping and watching the golf and then I started taking lessons and I went to a short game school, I did everything, I prepared like crazy, I tried to play with better players, I did whatever I could and then, you know, incrementally, I got better. I mean, I even got to a zero handicap at one point, I'm not there right now because I'm not playing as much, so back up to a five right now, but the bottom line is I got a lot better and I used to feel in the beginning, I played with better players and I would get embarrassed, you know, because I couldn't hit it like them and I would, you know, hit it all over the place or I would, you know, flub a chip or I would make mistakes and so I would get embarrassed when I played bad and when I found out, after playing lots and lots of golf, I don't care how good you are, you have days when you just don't play very well and I've seen guys that are plus handicaps shoot over par and not play very well. I've seen professionals that I play with that shoot over par and not play very well, okay? And I learned that's just part of the thing, so I don't get embarrassed about not playing well. If I'm not playing well, then I'm not playing well and I just, you know, for me now, I'm not playing well. I know why, because I haven't, I don't practice like I used to and I don't play as much as I used to, so you can't not practice and not be engaged like you used to and expect to have the same kind of results. A lot of people in Primerica, folks, they're embarrassed by their performance right now, but you know what? They're not recruiting like they used to, they're not prospecting like they used to, they're not working on themselves like they used to, they're not training like they used to, they're not doing anything like they used to when they had a crank in business and then they're a little embarrassed because they're not doing well, but the reason they're not doing well is because they're not doing what they were doing when they were doing well. They're not doing the same behavior. So either you have to accept that you're going to suck a little bit now because you're not engaged and you're not practicing, you're not preparing, you're not doing, you're not prospecting, you're not recruiting and doing the things you should be doing like getting wide and training people really well. You're not doing that like you did before. You just have to accept that you're not going to do it or you say, you know what? I don't like where I'm at. I don't like where my business is. I don't like where my income is. I don't like what's going on, so guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to start prospecting more. I'm going to start working on myself more. I'm going to start training people better. I'm going to pay more attention to the details. I'm going to put on cranking awesome meetings. I'm going to prepare like crazy. I'm going to make sure my people that are focused and involved, I'm going to prepare them like to be professionals when they get to the kitchen. I'm going to do all the right things. And then guess what's going to happen when you make those decisions? Your business is going to take off or you just say, I'm not willing to do that and my business is just not going to be very good anymore. That's where you are. Those are the two choices we all have, okay? But there's no reason, there's no reason to be overreacting. Either do something about it or don't and accept either one. Number five, how to have a more active life. It's pretty good, okay? Not only active life but active business, okay? Because although I enjoy being around other people, I don't have any qualms about going to the movies or restaurant alone or sitting around the house watching a rented movie sounds like a perfectly enjoyable Friday night to me. Folks, that's me. Folks, I don't have any problem being by myself. I can play a round of golf by myself. I can sit and just read. I mean, I don't have any problem being alone, right? And I do enjoy being around other people but I don't, you know, I don't, sometimes I don't really want to do that. So sitting around the house, he says, watching a rented movie sounds like a perfectly enjoyable evening. So if I have a chance to do something fun, go out with friends or speak at a conference, right, there's a bit of hesitation there. It's not that I'm anti-social but I don't feed off a crowd. I'm generally just as content to talk to friends, right, or email friends or whatever as I am to talk to them in person. Because the big problem with having this kind of mentality is that if you're not careful, it can make you really boring. You can turn into the guy or the gal who's always sitting at home comfortable instead of actually getting out in the world and doing things. And ultimately, isn't that what it's all about? When you tell people stories about your life, aren't they stories about doing something as opposed to sitting on the couch and talking about five straight episodes of House that you watch while you eat popcorn? Come on, think about it, right? Because there's a rule I learned and adopted a few years ago that helped me out. And in the middle of my, in the middle of life, it was if you have to choose between two roughly equal options, always take the one that leads to you doing something. If your friends invite you to go to a movie and you're kind of torn about whether to do it, you go, say yes. If you have a chance to go to a conference and you want to go, but you also might be just as happy spending the weekend at home, go to the conference, right? Go learn something. Ultimately, most of the great stories in our lives, right, are created as a result of following this rule. So think about that. It happened to me just this week, the other day, a couple days before the event, this guy, a new friend of mine who I just met, right, I'd just become a friend in the last month and we kind of hit it off and you know, he's a golfer, he used to be in the jewelry business and now he still is in the jewelry business, he has a very successful jewelry business and belonged to the same club and you know, I hit it off with him. So he just recently invited me to play in a pro-am, right, which you know, I didn't know any of the people and I didn't really know him that well, but I went, right, I met two other guys that I didn't know that also were in the same club I am, they're really nice guys, we had a great time, we actually finished second and it was a lot of fun, had a great time. Then, you know, a couple days ago, he invited me to this wine, we have these wine tasting with food kind of things at the club, right, and it was a really nice event, really beautiful event and so he invited me and we're thinking, oh, I don't know, you know, there's a lot of people there I don't really know, I know a lot of golf people but I don't know a lot of the social people there and I don't really, you know, both Jan and I don't, you know, we're not that social actually, people, even though I built this crazy business, right, we're not that social and so I just went, oh, you know, let's go, I mean, you know, maybe it'll be fun, if it's not fun, we won't go to another one and we went and it was great, and I saw some guys that I play golf with, we had a great time and had things and had some really great food and I met, you know, several people that I had never met before and it ended up being a really fun time, right? That's kind of how life is, I mean, even just talking to people in your business, right, just prospecting, look at it like who knows what this could lead to, could lead to an amazing relationship, right? You know, a lot of the people that you've recruited that have become good friends are people you didn't know before and you stepped out, right? And another thing that's really important to learn, okay, in the creation of any relationship, think about every single friend you have, not family members, because we're stuck with those people, but think of every friend you have, every friend you have today, at one point was a complete stranger, you did not know them and you met them and you had a connection of somehow and then you end up becoming friends, think of your best friends, right, the tightest friends you have, they were all strangers at one point, imagine if you'd never made that connection, imagine if you never talked to them, imagine if you said no to when they invited you to go do something, right, go out to dinner, go bowling or go to a ball game or whatever, right, go to a party, imagine if you said no, right, imagine how you would have messed up, so think about that when you're prospecting, that everybody that you talk to has the potential to some point become a great friend, to become somebody that enhances your life in some way, that's the way I looked at that, that's the way I looked at prospecting, that could happen, most times it doesn't happen, but it never happens unless you make the effort and in every relationship, folks, what I found is someone has to be the aggressor in the development of that relationship and that needs to be you, okay, that needs to be you, you need to be that one, even if you're not used to doing that, even if that's not part of what you think is your DNA, you need to start making the effort, calling them, want to meet for coffee, want to do this, want to do that, do something to get that relationship going, call them, talk to them, send them a text, send them an email, send them an article, do something, get the relationship moving in the right direction, right, the same thing with prospecting, right, start the process, then you be the aggressor in the development of that relationship with that new prospect, okay, it has to be that way, you need to be more active and if you do that, great things are going to happen, awesome things are going to happen for you, folks, it's going to be amazing for you, all right, I'll talk to you next week.