Episode 9 - Love Language

Lakota and Tiffany Farmer discuss physical touch as one of the five love languages. They talk about how physical touch can include various forms of affection, not just sex. They also share personal experiences of how physical touch is important in their relationships, including friendships and parenting. They emphasize the significance of showing love through physical touch and how it can make a positive impact on people's lives. Hello, hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to Love and Truth with L&T. Of course, I am Lakota Farmer, and this is... I am Tiffany Farmer, and we are excited to be with you for another week of Love and Truth. We are doing our series on the five love languages right now, and we said that our next one was going to be, do you remember, Faith? I believe we said physical touch. Yes. Because I totally believe you wanted to do physical touch. Because I want... What did you say? I believe you truly wanted to do physical touch. Is that what you believe? I do. I do. What makes you believe that? Because, you know, I know you left it up to me, but I, you know, you kept saying physical touch. You kept dropping little seeds of, in my brain, of physical touch. So when I had to make the decision, that's the decision I came to. So... Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying... Go back and listen to the episode before this, and you'll see. Okay. You'll hear little drips and... Little nuts, little drips. Little drips and tips. Drips and tips. Okay. Little seeds of... of grandeur. Mm-hmm. So I Jedi Mind Tricked you into what we were going to actually end up talking about. Okay. Cool. And it starts so early in that episode. It starts early. That's deep. That's deep. I'm surprised that you didn't choose. And then kept saying it throughout the thing. Anyhoo, we're going to talk about physical touch today. Physical touch. Five love letters. I mean, the five love languages. Let's see if I can rattle them off again, right? You got it, boo. You got it, got it. I got it. So quality time. Which we've covered. Which we've covered. Physical touch, which we'll cover today. Gift giving, words of affirmation, and... Uh-oh. I forgot one. I believe in you. I believe in you. I believe in you. What's the fifth one? I'm trying to sing it out. I'm trying to sing it out. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Opening doors. Acts of service. There you go. There you go. There you go. Acts of service. You got it. So yes. So I think you're right. I wanted to talk about physical touch. And I think the reason why is that, number one, it's a big element of our relationship, one. Two, I feel like, well, there's so many elements of relationships that we haven't yet gotten the chance to cover, but I do feel like intimacy is such a big part of relationships, and we haven't talked about it at all. And so it felt to me like, you know, it's not that time anyway, so let's just do it. I will also preface by saying, because I just think, just like little Easter eggs to kind of listen out for, let's see if Kunta can be serious when talking about sex. If, you know, whenever we get to that part of physical touch, because he's always, even in our personal conversations, has to, like, make a joke out of it or be, like, hyper-euphemetic or things of that nature. So I'm just, you know, I'm interested to see how this goes. What's your face? I'm being serious right now. Oh. Listen, I like to laugh, and that's part of my experience. So therefore, ha-ha. So therefore, ha-ha. No, OK. So let's unpack. Yeah. What is physical touch? What does that mean? You know, if I was to call it that, it's not—sex would probably be the last part of physical touch that is important. Physical touch could be a hug, kissing, holding hands, caressing, anything, cuddling, even. You know what I mean? Or, you know, maybe you walking by and just rubbing my head. You know what I mean? Or rubbing my shoulder. That's physical touch. You know what I mean? So to me, I think those are things—well, if we're looking at the love language, those are ways that you show love by uninfection, by physically touching someone. And it doesn't have to be sex. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. For you, what are—actually, before we even delve into it in terms of, like, our intimate relationship, I'm kind of curious because I just think that this is one of those that, like, when we talk about quality time, I feel like it's easy to make the connection to, like, why is quality—or how is quality time important to you in other relationships, right? Like, I feel like physical touch is one that feels like, at least on the, like, surface, it could seem like, well, that's only important in romantic relationships. So I actually am kind of curious for you, like, what importance physical touch holds for you in other relationships, whether that's, like, as a parent, as a coach, as a friend. You know what I mean? Like, what does that look like for you? So if I was to go back to high and middle school, I didn't like people touching me, for real. I had massive issues with people being real close. I wasn't claustrophobic still and not claustrophobic. I just—it was the thought of somebody being that close to me always made me want to push them. So as I got older, man, you know, you figure out how to show somebody love. Especially my last couple of years in high school, I was—I showed a lot of love to my friends and my people, simply because I felt like we were starting to—people were starting to go. And you were kind of experiencing people leaving the earth and passing away or whatever. And you're like, ah, man, I got to make sure I show them love, give them their flowers. And we learned, you know, we talk about it in church all the time. Give people their flowers while they're here. So for me as a kid, you know, my mom hugged me all the time. You know, my mom always showed love like that. Kissed me on the cheek, kissed me on the forehead. My grandmother definitely did, too. I had an uncle named Andrew that would kiss you on the cheek and his little scruffy beard would scratch your face. So you were like, ah, come on, Uncle Andrew. God. You know what I mean? That's sweet, though. And then, you know, obviously—and he's one of the people I was like, yeah, all right, push you away from me. Like, just because—being young and silly, you know, that was that. But as I got older, man, that's just how you show love, man. I think my block—shout out to 45th Street. We always, no matter what, we always showed each other love, man. It was always big hugs. I remember one of my homies used to be—he used to just run and just jump and jump on me. And I would catch him. He's like, what's up, man? You know what I mean? Just the massive love. And as I got to college, man, being at HBCU, like I said, you become family, man. And you might see somebody two or three times. You can give them five. But that initial I saw you today, that's a I got love for you hug. You know what I mean? So that, to me, started transpiring out through my life, man. You just show people love. Give them their flowers. Show them you acknowledge them. Like yesterday, we were in Walmart. Me and Tian was walking to the bathroom, and I saw a friend of mine I haven't seen since high school, man. And he gave me the biggest hug, gave him the biggest hug. And I was just excited to see him. I'm like, bro, I haven't seen bro since high school. You know what I mean? And we walked away, and Tian was like, is that normal? Like, what? And I was like, yeah, man, I'm just excited to see him. Because even walking away, I was kind of elated. Like, yeah, man, I'm glad he's doing good, man. He look good. You know what I mean? Like, in my head, I'm saying that, but I guess you can see it on me. She's like, are you okay? What was that? I'm like, it's the love, man. It's the love for people that you have. So, for me, it does show love. I have become a hugger, a more conscious hugger, but I'm a hugger. I'm a hugger, man. If I got mad love for you, I'm going to hug you. I'm going to hug your neck. I know us Arab Reds, like, literally, we live on that. Every homecoming, we're talking about, man, make sure you hug on people's necks. You know, because that's how you show love, man. At that huge family reunion we have every October, that's just how you show love. Mm-hmm. So, that physical touch that way is that. Now, just random people just walking up to me, like, hey, how you doing? That's still random. Yeah. I don't know you like that. What about as a father? As a father, I always hug my kids, man. I love all my kids. You know what I mean? I show them all the love that I could possibly give because that wasn't readily given to me. So, I literally had to, I have to give that. I have to do that. And it's not even, I won't call it intentional because it's part of me. It's just nature to do so for them. You know what I mean? Just to, you know, just to do a little stuff to them. I might thump Taron. I might flick Malachi, you know, pop Malachi. I might, you know, give him a little punch, a little hit. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Simply because that's just the way I show love. You ride in the front seat with me, you're going to get picked on. You know what I mean? If you're one of my kids, like, there's no way we're not doing something. I'm not doing something to you. My mind's not on it. You know what I mean? Simply because that's the way I feel like that's how love is felt. And, you know, I think my kids are like that too. And I think that part has infected, definitely infected Taron. What do you mean by that? Oh, she's a hugger. Yeah. You know, she has to have a hug. It's real, real kind of, I got to hug you. Give me a hug. I'm like, oh, calm down. Calm down. You can be pretty entitled about the hug, but do it. Watch yourself. So I think first, like, as a parent, I think I'm similar in that I'm very affectionate with the kids. I think that I'm a little more measured in terms of how affectionate I am with the boys because I want to be careful about, like, what's comfortable for them, which is not necessarily even about gender. It has more to do with being a step-parent. But I know that we still have, like, a lot of, like, our own kind of affectionate moment. You know what I mean? That includes physical touch, whether we're, like, picking on each other or, you know, kind of play fighting or things like that, or we always give long hugs to each other or things like that. Or if we're experiencing something, you know, sad or distressing or whatever the case together, we're usually going to make contact with each other. And so that's been really important to me. I think with the girls, I don't know. It's hard not to touch them. So, like, meaning, like, you know. They're so lovable. They're so lovable. They're lovable, and it's such an intricate part of how we stay connected. You know what I mean? Like, Cayenne is a cuddler. She wants to, you know, find her way to get, you know, to sit on you, to lay next to you, to prop herself up, you know, on you, you know, those kinds of things. Taryn is very, I think a major love language for her is physical touching. So she's very, like, I always laugh. We'll talk about this when we get to talking about us or whatever, but I always laugh at, like, when I'm falling asleep, some part of my body has to be touching you. Like, even if I'm just, like, going to put my foot on you or something like that, some part of me has to be touching you, and Taryn's very much like that about her parents. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's, like, something's got to be touching. And so it's not unusual at all that, you know, Taryn's running in the front seat or something, and I'm, like, holding her hand or, you know, that she's, like, laying her hand on my shoulder or, you know, just little things like that. So I think physical touch has been such a big part of how we show love and affection and connection between each other, like, when I'm talking about, like, between me and the kids. I would also say that I didn't have a big model for that growing up, at least in my mother. My mom, I was just saying this to someone a little bit earlier, but my mom is nurturing in a way that is not about physical touch. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It always surprises me when she walks up and throws her hands up like, hug me. Like, hi. Yeah. It's almost awkward to touch my mom. Like, it almost feels like, I don't know. It's weird. But she's very nurturing and very, you know, like, you know, kind of all encompassing in terms of how she shows love. But for whatever reason, physical touch was not a big piece of that. And then with my dad, my dad is very physically affectionate. But I think that there was somewhere along the way, this is kind of getting into my own, like, stuff or whatever, but there was somewhere along the way where when I was a kid, because I used to be a big daddy's girl, and I remember we would watch, like, baseball games or football games or basketball games, and he would be, like, on the couch laying on his side. And so his legs would be on the couch where they were almost forming, like, a triangle with, like, the back of that triangle being the back of the couch. And that was my spot. So I would go inside that triangle and, like, curl up, and that's where I would be. I didn't get that honestly then. Yeah, she does. She really does. To nestle herself in a spot. And I'd be like, why are you sitting right here? I'm telling you, that's my spirit animal. Cayenne is me. You know what I mean? Everybody's spirit animal. What did you say? She's all the people's spirit animal. She's every woman. But so I would do that. But there was a point in my childhood where, this is such a weird thing to talk about, but, like, developmentally where I became aware, I think this was part of, like, my parents getting divorced and my dad going into, like, the dating world and things of that nature. There was a part where I understood my father as, like, a dude and not just a father. And that changed it for me for some reason. It was like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm like, don't touch me. You know? And so that kind of shifted things, I think, for me. And then I've got my own, like, you know, kind of sexual trauma and things like that. So, like, physical touch in that way has always been, like, I'm a boundaries person, but less honestly about my own consent and more about other people's consent, if that makes sense, which is a problem. But so I think that that extends out to friendships, which is to say I don't really touch my friends very often. There's some friends I have that we might hug when we first see each other. But, you know, I've heard, particularly in female relationships, there's a lot of, like, oh, yeah, we'll lay in, like, almost cuddling. Or, you know, you might dance together. You do a lot of these kinds of things or whatever. And all of those things don't come natural for me. And I have to almost, like, I don't know. It's not even forced. It's, like, be aware of, like, what else is coming up for me or whatever in terms of, like, being slightly uncomfortable and being like, girl, remember your context, you're good, like that kind of thing. So, yeah, so it varies in different relationships. But I certainly receive it in a way from people who, you know, I know love and care about me and vice versa, where I understand it as being, like, pure intentioned or, you know, a form of showing love. Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing. Like, even when we go to K-State, people hug you like they know you, you know, because of the real love that's there. Always, like, a lot of times touch people when they laugh, too. Like, you, at times, will laugh and be like, oh, she didn't hit you or something like that. I've seen you do that with your friends, too. You know what I mean? It's hilarious to watch people do that, laughing. Actually, that's a good point, actually, because I had to, I used to have a lot of male friends, a lot of male friends when I was, like, in middle school and high school. And a big part of our relationship in terms of touch was we would play fight with each other. So it was not unusual at all that I would just, like, out of nowhere just punch somebody. And they'd be like, why do you play like that? You know, that kind of thing or whatever. Or vice versa, you know what I mean? Or they would just, like, squeeze my neck out of nowhere. I'm like, ah! Like, you know. And we would wrestle or things like that. And that was, like, those were all, like, really enjoyable interactions for me in terms of, like, they felt loving and felt affectionate. It didn't feel, it didn't feel like anything non-platonic, you know what I mean? And I think that there was a point at which, like, there was a shift where a lot of my friends were more female friends rather than male friends. But I would still be wanting to hit them. Like, stop it. Why do you, I don't like that you always hit me. I'm like, oh, right. That makes sense. I didn't really, I didn't wrestle with girls. I think it was beat into my head that you don't hit girls and beat into my head that you don't, that there are certain ways you treat girls. My mom was a stickler for that. Like, she, if there's nothing else she taught me, that's what she taught me. There's no reason to argue. You don't yell at women. You don't yell at girls, you know what I mean? You don't do all the things that I, somebody else I know that very well was yelling and doing all the things. But there was, you know, even my dad was a very strong advocate if you don't put your hands on a woman. You know what I mean? My grandmother, Mama Rosie, Mama Rosie will tell you in a minute, I beat him head to the bone. I beat his head in, you know what I mean? But you ain't got to get to that point with people. You don't have to get to that point with people. She said it all the time. You don't have to get to that point with people. And you don't. You know what I mean? So, I don't think I've ever had a massive altercation to that. Like, I know. Well, these aren't fights. Even play fighting. Like, I play fight with my homies. I wouldn't play fight with a girl. You know what I mean? We might do a tag thing here and there and run around. But, you know, as far as I'm slamming you around or trying to do X, Y, Z, nah, I wasn't doing that. Now, I would pick people up when I got strong. I would pick people up and be like, do you leave me alone? And sit them down. You know what I mean? But I remember, you know, when I was in high school, especially when, you know, I kind of got some weight because I was 135 pounds my freshman year and I was 195 pounds my senior year. So, my senior year, I became Kunta Bear. So, people was like, oh, Kunta Bear laid a hit on me or, you know what I mean, Big Brother Bear. You know what I mean? It was those type things. You know what I mean? That showed love, too. You know what I mean? That's what I was kind of talking about earlier with my high school crew, you know, being in chorus and show choir and as tight as we was, track, you know, boys and girls track. It was just one of those things where just that was the big brother and sister's thing. So, we just made show love like that. You know what I mean? I never really, I watched people wrestle like girls and boys do wrestle, but that just wasn't something that I wanted to do. Yeah, it was my constant for me. But I think it felt normal to me because, and I always say, you and your sister have abnormal brother-sister relationship, from my purview. But in the sense that everything that I'm ever like, yeah, me and Quinn used to get on each other's nerves all the time. Like, didn't you ever pick on, didn't she ever pick on you around this or blah, blah, blah. It's always like, nope, we never, you know. But with me and Quinn. She is the reason why I have a problem with feet and tippling. What? Really? Oh, my God. My sister used to put her feet on me and tickle me. As a matter of fact, her and Riva and Vicky, they used to do that to me when I was little. They used to put their feet on you? Like, they used to like tickle me. You know what I mean? So, I don't like feet to this day. Do your toes like fingers and like tickle you? I guess. I mentally made myself not ticklish. I literally said, I'm not ticklish. You do do that. And it's so funny. Any time I can ever catch you off guard and actually tickle you. It's a jump versus a, you know what I mean? Like, what's the thing? You just poke him in the stomach. Feels very noble. Oh, my gosh. You can't poke me and tickle me, but you can catch me off guard. I'll be like, what? Okay. I see what you're trying to say. You got me. You got me this time. No laughter for you. Yeah. No, that makes sense. Actually, I never knew that before, but with me and Quinn, my brother is six years older than me, and you would never know it because I swear we were the same developmental level growing up the entire time. I don't know if that's an insult to your brother or. Oh, it's forever shade. I will always throw him shade. You're a high intellect. No, no. It's shade on him. But we would be. He would, like, we were, I mean, we were such classic brother and sister in the sense of like, you know, but I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say. And like, I mean, just got on each other's absolute last nerve. And we were constantly like, even to this day, it's weird for me to have a brother who's like in his forties where I can't just hit you and not worry about hurting you. Do you know what I mean? The same way with my dad. Like that was, you know, when it moved from being more like daddy's girl affectionate kind of stuff like that or whatever, like we would play fight. You know what I mean? And so I I'm so used to being able to just like punch him and he's like a 70 plus year old dude. Now I can't just like punch him and not worry about like caving something or breaking something. I worry, you know, yeah. You're like really hurting something. And so now it's so strange, like, like I'm thinking about like the sensation of feeling like their chest, if I were to hit them or whatever, and it feels different than it did when I was little, where it was like, it felt like I couldn't harm them. You know what I mean? Where now I have to be like conscientious of that. I'm like, oh yeah. Like I will intentionally hit Quinn in his stomach now, instead of on his chest. Cause I'm like, you know, you have a little more cushion for being able to take that. No, not like that. I'm just saying like, it doesn't feel like I'm hitting bones. You know what I mean? That was a look like, you know, you can still hurt his stomach. Oh my God. Don't tell me I'm going to like puncture something internally. I think, I think what you also forget you punch people with this ring too. And like, sometimes you hit me and I'll be like, She's like, sometimes when you give me that, You're right. You got it with the wrong hand. Everybody got scratches on their fist. But yeah. So I don't know. I said that to say like wrestling and you know, play fighting and all that was so normalized, especially in my relationships with men that, or with males that like, it was just, it was a transition for me that like, oh yeah. So with female friends, like what does physical affection look like with y'all? Cause I don't know. Y'all want to fight? I'm like, I can take it. We can go like, but yeah. You and Megan and Megan didn't wrestle or look around or nothing like that. I was really trying to think about that a little bit when, when I was talking about Quinn, I can't, I don't think so. I feel like I want one of them to fact check me on that, but I don't think we did. Yeah. Cause Amanda would definitely fact all the checks. It's more Elizabeth. She'd be like, she'd be like, when we were, when you were 10 and I was a guy, it was that, you know, it's like, we'll tell all the stories. So there's a possibility. What'd you say? We might need to get them all here. One of them. That would be hilarious. If we could get, so I have two cousins, sisters. They're both named Megan. So we're talking about their middle names. So one's making Amanda. The other one's named Elizabeth. If we could get Amanda, Elizabeth, John and Greg all on here at the same time, Greg is Kunta's brother. John is my other cousin brother. If we could get all of them, that would be so funny. Yeah. I'm going to figure that out. Yeah. We got to figure that out. Sibling love. Yeah. So, okay. So let's transition a little bit to, oh, but you know, we should have Greg and Tanya on here at some point. We definitely should have them on here. Yeah. That's a thing. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So physical touch in our relationship. Right. I guess what is sort of... You should keep your hands off me from the day you met me. I mean, it's like one of them things where like I just walked into a room and it was just like, Hey, Kunta, all hands on deck. I used to be like, I don't know you, man. Well, I mean, you're just so fine and so irresistible. And I just hate to blow my mind. You didn't like me like that. So you wanted to hit me and beat me up because I was getting bullied. What? Who's this ugly little Negro everybody likes? That was not, that's not what I said. It was because I hadn't even seen you. So it was just, who is this guy there? I got up on this pedestal or whatever. Like you probably ain't even all that. Let me knock him on down. Whatever. I thought I was bellbows. Anywho, so actually, what are your favorite forms of physical touch in our relationship? Are you okay? You don't know what I just did? No, I have no clue what that was. So it's here. So remember, we're not on video. So can nobody see? Yeah, I'm talking about you. So it's, you know, you're being abused. You're supposed to do this, like people out your window. Help me. The way that I'm just like staring at him right now, y'all, I thought you were going to say, you know, this goes back to childhood. No, go ahead. The question was, what are your favorite forms of physical touch in our relationship that really convey love to you? I, you know, if I go small to big, I think me driving and you touching my hand or reaching for my hand. We're sitting on, we might be sitting somewhere and you get a little bit closer just to make that connection fail. Because I think all of, all of the little things are emotional connections, you know what I mean? Or you walking by me and doing something, you know, touching me, punching me, whatever it may be. I don't touch you often. You flick, you might flick her in there, but no, you don't do it often. But you do, I mean, it might be just a caress, a rub somewhere, shoulder, chest, head, you know, those things. But those things are, you know, make me feel like, ah, yeah, okay, we're good. Cause when there's no touching, I'm, I believe there's a disconnect somewhere and we might need to fix that thing. You know what I mean? No physical contact or I sit on the couch. Like one thing I've gained over the years, if I sit on the couch and you sit on the complete opposite couch, the first thing I'm like, what's wrong? You're okay. You good. Oh, I just sat over here. Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. I can relax. But if you sit over there and you say, if you sit over there and say nothing, Oh, what have I done now? But if you say, no, cool. I just sat over here because you gave me a reason. You're good. But if you say nothing, I know something's up. I know something has touched you in a way you didn't want to be touched. Nine times out of 10, you're mad at me about it. So I was like, okay, let me figure it out. Let me go back to my brain and what just happened. What has happened in the last 20 minutes? I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, so those things show me, show me the love, you know what I mean? And those mean a lot to me. Before you level up, I want to, I'll say mine on the same level too. What'd you say? I was about to ask you too. Okay. So, I would say for me, it's like, I feel like we, I like the times where you sort of anticipate that I'm going to reach for your hand, if that makes sense. And then you'll kind of like, you'll turn your palm up or whatever. Almost like, okay, come on. You know what I mean? I like when you put your head on me, just out of like out of nowhere kind of thing. Or, you know, if you, if we're sitting next to each other and you like touch my thigh, or like you said, you move a little bit closer to like, just be close. I'm trying to tickle you. I'm just trying to put my hand on your thigh. You think everything. Oh my God. Because again, and you know what? I never even realized this connection because you can't be serious when it comes to physical touch. So, at least you can't start that way. So, most of the time that you are initiating the physical touch on somewhere on my body, that's not my hand. It is first with a tickle and then you'll land. And I'm like, can we skip that part? So, those, those are all really good. I like when you, like, if you like, randomly, like, reach out, like, play with my hair or any time that, like, I always like any, like, form of physical affection that makes me feel like protected by you in some way. So, I guess what I mean by that is like, if you, sometimes I'll sit, like, sometimes we'll be sitting on the couch and I'll randomly like sit on the floor and like sit between your legs or something like that. Just because I like that feeling of you being bigger than me or being, like, around me somehow. Or if you are, like, standing behind me and you hold me from behind or something like that, like those kinds of things I really like. Yeah. I feel like all of those make me feel like you were thinking about me enough or desirous of me enough in that way that, like, you wanted to initiate touch. Another thing that I like that you do, which I think is so funny, it's just part of, I guess, like, kind of the push-pull of relationships kind of thing. Like, if I am sitting on, like, the same couch or sitting, I don't know, I'm just using the couch because it's like a continuous thing rather than, like, two separate chairs kind of thing. But let's say that we're sitting on the couch or something and if I'm not making physical contact with you, because that's unusual, I'll notice, like, if that's happened for long enough, you will be like, you'll, you'll go over like, hello, like, I am here. Yeah. Like, did you not realize that I was, what are you doing? Why aren't you touching me? And I love that. I think it's so cute. So, yeah, that's true. That's true. So, you mentioned leveling up on that. So, what would be the level up? I don't know, because you said that I'm going to start from small to large, I guess. What did you say? I said, well, I was asking you first. So, okay. So, I guess it would be like hugging and kissing, maybe, would that be next? Or, actually, so this, this, I went back to verywellmind.com and was looking at some forms of physical touch on there, as far as, like, how they're expressed in love languages. And they make this separation of, like, showing love through intimate touch and then showing love through non intimate touch. And so, I feel like maybe that's one way that we could sort of distinguish this. Right. So, like, let me see how they're defining. So, they were saying, like, some non intimate touches can lead to intimacy, but can be a great alternative for couples who are looking for ways to express non sexual love through physical touch. So, I feel like the stuff that we were just talking about is things like that. So, they said things like sitting side by side, tickling, rubbing your partner's back, like, things like that. And so, I guess the next level would be more of, like, intimate touch, where those things are ways to show intimate love that maybe you wouldn't do with others. You know what I mean? Right. For instance, I would hold parents in, but I wouldn't do maybe some of the other things. Right. So, yeah. So, some of the things they put on here were, like, skin to skin touching, cuddling, holding hands, kissing. So, yeah, I guess. Are you asking? So, let me ask you about those. Like, those are, those are, yeah, all those, all those are absolutely correct. Whoever wrote that was on point. But, no, I do feel all those things, too. Also, one that I always see videos on, and memes on, like, it's like you're in the kitchen doing something, and I walk by. Oh, man. That's always the example people give. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But, like, and, you know, I know there's videos, like, a dude walks by a chick, and don't slap her, and she's like, what are you doing? What is wrong? You know what I mean? We've had those moments, not as crucial, not at the same time. But, you'll be like, you know, you walked by me and didn't touch me. Like, what's up? You good? I'm sweaty. I just got finished working out. Right. That's all you really need to say to me, is I was sweaty. I'm like, oh, you're right. Keep that over there. I mean, I can always give you a sweaty hug, I mean, because I'm sweaty. No, thank you. No, but, yeah, I, you know, that's evolved, you know, because I really like that. So, that's, you know, even when we first started dating, like, I like kissing. Talk about that from an evolutionary, oh, from an evolutionary standpoint, Lord have mercy, from the evolution of that, right, like, how has kissing evolved since the, since the prehistoric period? Well, old men just head-butting each other, and then, after that, they threw punches, and we'd grunt, and that was very satisfying. Then, drag the woman by the hair. Why do, why do, why do cartoons depict cavemen like that? I don't, you know, because they don't know, so they just do whatever they want to. Yeah, you can go bump her over the head with a, with a rock, and then you'll drag her down the way with her hair. Do my wife know? She's just twiddling her fingers like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, 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