Good friend

The speaker reflects on the concept of deep personal relationships and discusses how to quantify and build such relationships. They emphasize the importance of challenging and testing these relationships, as well as the role of time, trust, and shared experiences in quantifying them. The speaker also explores the impact of differing perspectives and the potential for disagreement in relationships. They conclude by suggesting that finding a trustworthy friend is important, but it requires effort and testing. all right so my boy just said talk about whatever you want to talk about and I feel like that makes me vulnerable because all I have is blank thoughts what is it that you talk about how do you talk to one person so much and not to anyone else how do you expand your thoughts to one person and not any other one person and that's that person you're me you're not even intimate with like I'm not even intimate with my boy but we discuss everything together I don't know if you have anybody like that but I feel like I explain everything to my partner like that and I don't like to call her my partner she's she's amazing she's awesome but comparing that how do you look at someone and say I trust you more than I trust someone else what is that how do you quantify that experience of knowing that person or being able to expose yourself or be vulnerable to that person is it how many times they've gone through something with you to trust you and you trust them I know that with my friend we just keep it real with each other it's no bullshit it's like the deepest darkest secret thoughts most of the things that you've done in your life and you know 90% of your closet door can open up and 10% of it can't now if you can open up 100% to someone I applaud you maybe you haven't gone through some of the things I've gone through and that's another story to tell but having somebody to expose yourself to is it's crazy you think about a spiritual path and I'm not a spiritual person but it's almost like you know God has put somebody in your life to say it's okay to expose yourself it's okay to be who you are it's okay to discuss the things that you've gone through and the things that you put other people through then that's good or bad however you want to explain that but what I have to say is that how do you quantify that friendship that's a friendship like no other right I have one friend that I stick with and I've stuck to and I now consider him my brother he's he's he's younger than me but he's my brother he's we've grown up together he's smart he's intelligent he makes good moves we listen to each other we have intellectual thoughts we express those intellectual thoughts together and decide what we should do we bounce ideas off of each other and it's a really really awesome relationship because when you grew up with somebody from some bullshit and came to be someone and that person is still stuck with you through all the bullshit you may have put them through or bullshit they may have put you through or whatever the fucking case may be but in the long run you've you've stuck together how do you quantify that type of relationship where you can just express everything to that one person and then how do you build that with other people and in my thoughts I believe that you have to challenge those experiences when you go through those things you have to challenge those relationships to go through those experiences to discover if if you can have other relationships like that that's if you want to have those relationships and you know everything we're told growing up we are a communal species meaning we want to be around each other we want friends we want family we want a community of people around us to support us make us feel safe give us direction you know fulfill those dopamine triggers to make sure that we're getting all the likes we need in life you know all the hugs we should have gotten as children we still want those as adults however you look at that that makes me think about personal relationships and how do you build those personal relationships and then again back to the original question how do you quantify that relationship with that person that you do not have an intimate relationship with that you can share everything with and maybe people have posed this question to themselves maybe they haven't but I'm kind of thinking the thought of you really just have to look at those experiences what have I challenged this relationship with what have I what have I entrusted this person with what kind of secrets have I entrusted this person with what kind of information have I trusted this person with no matter if you feel that information is a secret or not however you want to define a secret how have you trusted that relationship that you have with those other people in your life if you're attempting to build relationships and think about that in every single facet how did how have you challenged those challenge those relationships at work in business in friendship in religion in family in whatever facet of life you want to think about that in I mean really that's a question that's really a question it's hypothetical but you know it applies to everything think about how many people you have in your life that you share deep information with is that healthy or unhealthy and who says it's healthy or unhealthy and how do you determine what's healthy or unhealthy okay and then you know moreover what has been the reaction of that person from those things that you've tested them with in that relationship and does that total out your quantification of that relationship with that person that you're not intimate with that you can share everything with your best friend ie the sister brother cousin however you want to quantify them or label them or whatever you want to call them are there more levels of quantification that go with that is there something else that helps quantify that relationship together is it time I've met a lot of people in my life and I always I always used to say it takes about a year to know someone to go through all their seasons and then I realized as you get older it can take more time to actually know someone because they can hide those seasons for longer because they're older and they've dealt with all of this nonsense for a very long time so they have a higher tolerance for bullshit because as adults we know that going through adulting is not fucking easy and so you build that skin that scales the scars the scales the layers that whatever you want to call them to protect yourself and you can go through things and protect your mind your body and your soul from you know all these all these suckers that come through and they want to take shit from you however you want to fucking call that you know the fuck I'm saying if you don't then you know sorry I guess we'll talk about that sometime it's quantification come with that that time that reaction that experience that exposure let's go with the actionable plan what about that have they helped you come up with one do they just shit talk are they influential are they beneficial is that is that person beneficial in your life do you think that person is going to help you when you tell them something and if you don't like what they're saying why don't you like what they're saying is it because you don't want to hear it is it because it's right or is it because it's wrong or is it because you're not in the same thought process as them or you're not trying to understand them you know I was talking to my fiance and we were discussing about the ways that we perceive things and how that can affect our relationships and people always discuss this but you don't really put yourself in someone's shoes you kind of just run through this movie scenario in your head of whatever you want them to say and if they don't say it then now we're not friends or now we can't have discussions that are intimate deep or at all and so now you've cut this relationship off that can be more than it is because you have somebody who disagrees with your entire thought process and it may just be one thing that they disagree with and now that one thing keeps coming up because you're both feeling nagged and at the thought that you disagree with this but your friends on all the other levels and now this is this is the one thing tearing you apart how do you quantify those relationships do you build those relationships with everyone everywhere or do you break up with people do you not even attempt to enter those relationships because they're thought-provoking time-consuming energy draining and sometimes disastrous but let me tell you they put up for good stories growing up I had a lot of stories of my mom's friends and some of the people she had brought around and they were fucking wild and I still talk about that shit today and it just is some of those stories are fucking amazing and I'm glad I have those in my memory banks because they bring joy to my life when I think about them but some of them are fucked up some of those memories from a kid they were fucked up and some of the things that I did were fucked up but you can only change a few ways and you know discussing some of those things that you've done or the things that have been done to you are ways to get past it right and so having a person that you can discuss those things with that you're not intimate with that you don't feel obligated to that's nice having that friend is nice so find you a motherfucking friend I guess is the moral story but however you quantify that you have to test those relationships so you can get there you have to really push and experience things in those relationships and I think it does take a little bit of all those things sometimes it takes time sometimes it takes effort and energy and all the time it takes you to test those experiences with that person things that you believe you can test them with you know don't jump out the gate with you shot somebody in the fucking face and shit and how do we bury the body like that's not the way to test the fucking relationship you might get fucked up and go to jail and also if you're if you're fucking killing people please turn yourself in that's that's a problem that was just an analogy turn you turn your fucking self in I'll be a psychopath out there but I mean you know test the relationship with small things with little secrets that you you might have you know if you're if you're a woman you're pregnant if you're a man we're pregnant right it's a new fucking thing these days we are pregnant woman's not pregnant we're pregnant I always believe the woman's pregnant I'm not carrying the baby that shit's hard as fuck see how big they get you see you see how much fluid develops in their body my goodness I don't have to do that you may get sympathetic fat but that's not like getting baby kid fat you're not getting fat we're not getting fat together just cuz I got a fucking baby anyway so test those relationships get you a motherfucking friend and go through some things with that friend find you a partner because there's someone for fucking everyone there's don't fuck around there's someone for everyone and you if you don't believe me then I'm sorry you've lived under a rock just turn on the motherfucking TV there is somebody for everyone alright y'all Kool-Aid Jones I just talked about some bullshit I just rambled on for 16 fucking minutes he did say just talk about whatever you want here we go Kool-Aid Jones just talking about friendships man relationships so I wanted to say thank you guys for tuning in hope we can do this on a regular basis I just will discuss the things that I want to discuss and talk about the things I want to talk about maybe at one point I'll set up a email so you can send me your questions or you can just fucking complain about me rambling on about whatever I'm talking about and if you do want to send me complaints please don't anyway long story short my name is Kool-Aid Jones I am very opinionated hopefully we can discuss all those opinions on this channel and I can just discuss the things that I want to talk about and hopefully you'll be interested in those things if you're not interested in those things you don't have to tune in and I appreciate you for you know trying me out and I appreciate you for being open-minded and listening to some of the things that I have to say hopefully I'm logical in my thoughts at least that's what I want to be I want to be logical and pragmatic and sensitive and caring and compassionate and all my thoughts I'm not but I want to be and I think this channel and this discussion of those things should help those things unfold so again I thank you for tuning in to the things I want to discuss and here we go we about to do this thing