2nd Katie and Mela podcast - Depth of Friendship 2/14

The speaker talks about their experiences and feelings. They mention that they had fun in their classes and enjoyed the good weather. They discuss their upcoming trip to New York for fashion week and their internship at the Center for Sustainable Development. They also mention that it's their birthday. The speaker and their friend then discuss the meaning of friendship and the importance of having individual friends and friend groups. They talk about how friendships can impact each other and how it's important to be mindful and adjust to different communication styles. They emphasize the significance of community and expanding one's social circle by joining different activities and clubs. On you, there's a ride, where it's fun. Blinded am I, I feel alive. Blinded am I, I feel alive. A good rose would be, I went to my two classes, it was pretty fun, and the weather was really nice, so I really enjoyed my classes and everything, it was good vibes. A bud, a bud is what, like the neutral part, right? Yeah, what are you looking forward to? Oh, what I'm looking forward to, oh, I'm about to go to New York at one o'clock in the morning, so I'm a little tired, but I'm excited, so I'm attending fashion week, so I'm really excited for that. And then a thorn is, I'm tired, I'm tired, so yeah, that's me. What about you? My rose, oh, and my internship, so I'm working, I'm interning at the CSD, which is the Center for Sustainable Development, and I'm really excited because we're working on signage, which is like signs for the CSD, and like recycling and all that, and that's literally my major as a comm major, so I'm really excited about it, and I love feeling excited about it. And then my thorn is that it's my birthday tomorrow, and everyone crossing their birthday, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, I'm ready, I'm ready to deal with being 20. And my bud is that it's my birthday, yeah! 22! 20! 20! 21! 21! Can't you do something about it? Alright, alright. On a real note, though, thank you for once again listening to the SideQuest. SideQuest! Katie and Carmella. Alright, episode two. We're gonna go a little bit more in depth about friendship and the importance of friendship and the meaning of friendship. I think our first, I guess like kind of overall question is, what is the meaning of friendship? What is the meaning? Here, I'll go first. I feel like friendship is to experience life with an individual who is supporting you and is actively here for you with whatever that you need, but also living their own life, if that makes sense. You go. Yeah, I definitely feel like it's whatever you need and what you want, and you're not only growing by yourself, but you're growing together, and you're experiencing life together. It's through the good and bad points of your life, and it's also the good and bad points of their life. Also, to be neutral. Nothing could be happening. You're just vibing, and you're growing together. That's beautiful. I would definitely say it's worth it. I mean, sometimes there's bad days, and sometimes we have bad days. Our batteries are draining and everything, but just having you around just fills my energy up and everything and makes me happy. We were just talking about social battery and how our social batteries are dead because our days are so long. We're like, should we even do this? It's like, nah. That's not even a question if we're doing it. I feel like really, really good friends are the ones that it doesn't matter if your social battery is dead. You guys can still be dead together. I know this point in time where I feel like I'm over at Katie's house, or I'm hanging out with some of my friends, and I'm just chilling on the bed and not even doing anything. We're just putting on a movie and not even talking. We're like, dang, that's real. I go back home, and I'm like, you know, I had a really good time. There's other points where we're on our side quest. Side quest. Mella is my side quest friend. I know if I want to go on an adventure, she's there. That's true. She's the same way for me, too. I definitely feel as though that, with that being said, understanding that how my relationship with her in that aspect, I can go to her when I want to chill. I can also go to her when I want to have a good time, too. Overall, that goes back into good and bad times and neutral times. I'm experiencing life just in general. I'm 110% invested into that individual and what they got going on. I also feel like they do the same thing for me. I feel like when I'm sad, she always uplifts me. When she's sad, I do the same thing. When I'm happy and when I want to celebrate, I'm like, dang, today had me rough. She's like, dang, me too. I'm like, yo, we feeling the same thing. We get something to eat, or she goes to the gym, and maybe I'll tag along or whatever, or we go to acapella. I feel like I'm always having a good time. I think that's truly what it is, is the beauty of us enjoying life. I feel like especially where we're at right now, we are the closest we've ever been, which is awesome. But I also have a lot of friends that we just enjoy certain things with. I have a few friends that we just enjoy seeing each other at the gym, and I never see them outside. Or other friends that I see at acapella or in class. Those friendships still matter to me, but those are the ones that you can do everything with. That really plays into how do your other relationships impact your friendship. I definitely feel like a good example. We're talking to each other right now, but Katie I can do everything with. I can sing, go on side quests, go out to eat, try new things and everything. I have my best friend in the entire world. He and I just go hiking and backpacking. There's a lot of friends that I have that don't do that. I have a really close friend of mine. She tries new food with me. She's so adventurous and everything. We would literally make dinner on Thursdays. It's that type of thing. Each of my friends, they do something different. Also, in some ways, I've got a really cool friend who does everything. It's a really good community. I feel the same way too. I feel like, like I said before, I have a few friends that I know are my gym friends. They are my friends that we work so well together at the gym. Then there are some that I just don't. Then there are some where I have to feel it out. I have to see where they're at, how we can be together. That, like you said before, plays how other relationships impact your friendship. I want to talk about this, about how both of us grew up with brothers. It definitely changes the way that we talk. We're making fun of each other left and right. All the time. I walk into the building, and I see Mel, and she goes, Why are you built like that? She was built like an airplane. What can I say? What can I say? She looked like a watermelon. What can I say? I can't help it. That's just how we work. Some people you can't be like that with. That's what I also want to talk about, about being mindful and learning that some things are just too offensive. Some people I can't say that to because they aren't used to that, and they aren't used to that way of talking. But then this is where you like, what did I say before, like code switching? Yeah, just kind of being mindful of that and then learning to adjust to that because there's also some things that people can and can't say to you because they know how you'll be either offended or not even offended, but hurt, which is real. Yeah. This is definitely like, I mean, those relationships still do matter. You may crack a joke and it might come out really dry on the receiving end, but that relationship doesn't change anything, and I feel like a lot of people kind of overthink that. Oh, dang, I made fun of her shoes and now she's mad at me. She never wants to talk to me again. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just understand what people like and what they don't like and just adjust to that sometimes. If they accept you for who you are as you are accepting them for who they are, you just learn. That's the beauty of friendship. You're just learning. You're growing together and you understand that you may not understand entirely, but you accept them for who they are, and I think that's the biggest thing. So on that note, I definitely feel like community and friend groups or individual friends is significant, especially for myself. I have a lot more individual friends than a community. A big community I got is my a cappella and my orchestra and my designer group I'm a part of, and so they're awesome. Sometimes I just want to have individual friends, and I have lots of those, more so than, like, friend groups. I feel like that, too. I mean, I have, like, obviously a cappella. Even my roommates, like my ex-roommates, just different friend groups that I have. But I feel like it's important to know the individual in the friend group and know that they're not just part of this group that you call your friends. I don't want to give out advice, but you need to, like, know them. I mean, we did it. Yeah. Yeah, like, we were in the same a cappella group, and then we really got to know each other, like, individually, and, like, we were a lot more, I'd have to say, like, comfortable with each other than maybe other relationships within a cappella, which doesn't change the significance of each of those individuals. It's just that we started investing time within each other. And they're all sick, as we are sick with one another, you know. So just understanding that it's important to have a good community, also having a good friend group, and also having individual friends. You cannot be always cooped up with the same group. So, like, expanding out and meeting new people is very important. Yeah, I decided to do that here. I, like, made myself do it because I found myself doing a lot of things by myself because I didn't have people who had those similar interests. And one of them was the gym. And this is where I went to the gym, and I made friends with people who go to the gym. I joined random clubs. I joined meditation club for a second. I got my internship, powder puff football. I'm playing that shameless plug. But a cappella. Like, just join a bunch of random things, especially if you're at a school where you have the opportunity to do that. And, like, don't be afraid to talk to people because we're all in the same boat. Yeah, I definitely agree. Definitely, like, now I have a lot of friends who play tennis and a lot of friends who go cycling and sing, play an instrument, really into fashion, like want to become lawyers and stuff like that. It's just building that community and building that, like, individualism within yourself but also understanding other people as well. It's a journey. It's a great journey. It really is. I love meeting people with different backgrounds and different interests. That's awesome. Because then it opens you up to all those interests. Yep. So, yeah. So, leading up to, like, I guess, like, who are your friends and then, like, understanding that each friend really does something different. So, I guess that's a good question for you, Katie, right? Like, do you mind giving me, like, kind of an example of how, like, comparison from one friend to another in some sense of, like, I don't know, just how they make you feel on what they do that kind of, like, brings out two different perspectives of you. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Well, one of my friends, my really close friend, is, I think she might be a psych major, minor, I don't know, which is really interesting because she understands, like, mental behavior and all that. But we talk really deeply and we have really deep conversations and it opens me up to understanding all this new stuff about life and listening about her side, like, her perspective, her life. It definitely makes me understand people more, people with different backgrounds, people that didn't have the same household style as me growing up, people who went to different schools, like, different types of schools, did different things. It definitely just made me aware that people like that do exist and we're all kind of the same. Yeah, I definitely, like, I mean, that's awesome to be able to, like, bring it in different perspectives and she brought that for you. I feel like, I mean, just being open-minded, I think that's something in which I feel like you do in general. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I guess I'd say I do have another friend I'll talk about that we share the interest of just going to the gym. And I know I talked about this, like, many times, but it definitely is a true passion that I have. And learning that I'm actually not as good as I thought I was. I love being friends with people who challenge me and make me realize that, wow, like, damn, like, I'm not him. I'm not him, but, like, you think you're not even a part. You're not even a part. Like, actually, I love, like, yeah, I was pissed off in the beginning when I was like, damn, I can't do this. But it made me work harder. It made me want to be better. And I feel like having someone like that is awesome and having someone that can be right next to you in the race and go a little bit farther to make you want to go a little bit farther. I feel like that's really, really cool. I have, like, a really good friend. She lives in South Carolina and she, like, does a lot of theater stuff. And, like, you know, as a black woman or, like, I'm a black and Asian woman. She's a Zimbabwean, but, like, she's amazing. And, like, she represents herself. And, like, as a black woman myself, just being able to see her, like, prosper and be strong, like, I want to be around and I want to be encouraged by someone who's like that. And she does that for me. She puts a lot of, like, my uncomfortability to the test and challenges me. And I think that just makes me want to become better. And I have been better since I've met her. And, like, I don't know, just a lot of growth and everything. And, like, tying back to, like, I have another good friend. She plays an instrument. And I just recently, not recently, but back in Octoberish or Novemberish, I just saw her orchestra performance. And, like, just being inspired to, like, want to go back to orchestra and work on my violin and stuff like that. She's amazing. And, like, she loves marine biology. But, like, being surrounded by people who, like, there's little doubtful things in which I feel like I'm interested in as well. Like, learning how to express that and, like, open up to other people who like that too. She really did open that to me. So, you know, I give thanks to both of those individuals and a lot of my friends. And I don't know, they just make me feel better. And you do too, you know. All credits. Being around people that are inspired and passionate about what they believe is so interesting and so awesome. And I think it definitely brings light to new things that you never thought you'd be interested in. And now I'm doing football. Like, what? Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. I mean, I guess, like, at the end of the day, friendships is beautiful. And you live life together. And, like, it's just, it's a journey not only you're going through but also the people that you surround yourself with. You are who you surround yourself with. And with that, you grow. You grow together. Yeah. Well said. So, I mean, I guess it would, like, kind of wrap everything up, right? So we'll probably go more in depth later on in the future. But I think we wanted to top it at 15 minutes. We were like, we could yap forever. But, yeah. So, I mean, I hope you guys have a good day. You know how it is. Yeah. Yeah. We better see you in next week. All right. All right. Back at it again. All right. Back at it again.