EP 115-2 Growth over destination

The tennis player discussed in a podcast misses 50% of his shots but still wins 84% of matches. The key is focusing on what is learned from the misses and making adjustments. It is not about being perfect in every aspect, but about playing the game well. The focus should be on growth and progress rather than being obsessed with reaching a destination. Being flexible and willing to pivot is important. Perfectionism is seen as an ego-driven trait, and everyone makes mistakes. It's about figuring things out and focusing on progress rather than perfection. Welcome back everyone, so amazing to be chatting with you again today and of course we're talking about progress, growth and expansion by a podcast we were listening to by Ed Milet and so we're talking about this tennis player Julie. Yeah so it's amazing isn't it? So imagine we were saying how the tennis player only gets 52% of the points or 52% of his hits only create or in other words he hits one and misses one every time right? I mean 50% give or take right? But here's the thing he wins 84% of the matches the games though he just wins 84% how is it that if you miss 50% of the time you can still win 84% of the matches you know how that works? Wow amazing this is incredible because that this takes the pressure off you don't have to get everything that you go for yes right and why does he win because when he misses he learns something yeah well it's about what you're key yeah it's about what you're focused on if you're focused on the hit that you missed versus the hit that you got you're going to keep missing because you're focused on the hit that you missed however remember you'll have to remember what he said yes but he is focused on what he missed because he learns from it and he knows if I hit so he he hits it to me like this and this is how he got me so I have to make sure that I don't hit it to him on that side so he can get me like he's always reevaluating exactly so we're going to talk about that component a little different a little bit later because that's about pivoting is being flexible enough to pivot but he says that if you focus on getting everything right and perfect getting all the deals or all the calls or doing your best job being the best mom saying the right thing you know and being obsessed with perfection he clearly says you will make no progress yeah and that's that's crazy it's crazy good it's about the match it's not about every little thing that you do it's about the match so how can you how can you actually apply that to your own work right how can you apply that to your marriage yeah how can you apply that to your parenting you know how do we apply that to your finances right exactly so the idea is you know the thought that comes to mind is when we tell the kids it's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game yeah here's the thing this message is saying it's not how about winning or losing it is about playing the game but if you play the game well you're going to win that's what this is saying if we take the the tennis guy as an example he doesn't do 100% he's not perfect there's nowhere near perfect but he's able to pivot like we mentioned so okay let's talk about where to go from here so now we know that he's not hitting every every shot he's just not hitting every shot so let's talk about growth over destination so destination is where you're going right if you don't know where you're going though you're going to end up somewhere else but we've often talked about you gotta work the process right so ambition in a career is not particularly the destination so for example if you love your job are you considering retirement that's the destination is it always about retirement because if it is are you going to be good at your job probably not why because your eyes are on the wrong thing and then when you get to beat retirement like you're gonna live there's no joy so yeah so there's no joy you rob yourself of joy if if the destination is the goal right so you don't want the destination to be the goal you want it to be on the spectrum but you have to you know grow it's a it's about the growth or during in the process it's the steps that you're taking to get through to where you're going so the growth is what's important because if you become destination obsessed you're going to miss the growth therefore you're going to simply have one focus and then you're not going to do the things that will bring you joy you're not going to do the things that will make you better you're not and you may lose everything because you're so focused on the wrong thing right right right so the idea is to grow from the process rather than the destination so the process and the progress so understand if we go back to the tennis player we'll keep talking about that guy the he said you know we said about he needed to observe and shift and pivot so at some point we can't dig in our heels and say this is how i'm hitting the ball and i'm gonna this is all i'm doing if we behave that way then i don't think if we're tennis players we're going to win the game because we haven't made ourselves flexible to the opportunity to shift or to to learn something new and so i mean he speaks about if he's doing a backhand and and the opponent has has his backhand figured out what does he do he changes the way he does his backhand yeah just slightly and then you can't change where he he changes where he's going to hit it right so that the guy doesn't have an opportunity to do exactly you know so so there's strategy in this too oh for sure and and i think in all wins there's strategies and so think about your money your finances think about that so if you dig in your heels and say i'm not changing well you're right you're not going to change right but if you're willing to pivot then at some point you're going to get to where you're going by natural deduction because you were willing to do something different so as my lab says that he has given up on the notion of perfection way early in his in his career now i can tell you and we've often talked about this jody we're we often will talk about you know we're not perfect we make mistakes you know what it's not that we're you know making mistakes all the time but i think it's normal and natural that people make mistakes so we have to be real about that kind of thing and ed says you know he believes that people who are perfectionists hang on to your britches right now i'm going to say something that's a little bit crazy ed says he believes that people who are perfectionists are egomaniacs isn't that ouchy ouchy you might say no i don't have a selfish issues with self-esteem i have an issue sorry with self-esteem and that's why i need things to be perfect but he says ed re-evaluate your thoughts on this it's your ego telling you you need to be perfect isn't that interesting and then he goes on to say everybody makes mistakes everybody messes up it's true yeah most people are just trying to figure things out we're all just normal just like you exactly we're all just trying to make it to the end of the day just like you most people are just better at faking that they are have it all together then you might then you might be then i might do then you might be jody right yeah um everybody is just trying to figure it out everybody is just nobody has all the answers there's no such thing right that's right so give yourself some slack we want to encourage you to focus on the progress rather than the perfection and the growth over the destination so you know ed my lead is a really smart guy and and it's pretty interesting when you say wow if i just shift one little thing if i pivot one little bit and maybe you know in a month from now i have to pivot a slight amount yet again and then first thing you know you've come the whole way and you've created this new successful venture because it's a new financial venture for you or it's a new relationship for you or it's a it's it's a new process for you it's about shifting just a little bit pivoting just a tad so good yeah isn't it interesting so we're going to come together in the next segment and we're going to talk about expansion over stagnation so that's pretty those are pretty big words hopefully we can unpack that well enough but we're we're going to talk about expansion over stagnation and we'll be right back