Part 1

The main ideas from this information are: - It is important to take care of one's own mental and physical health in order to be able to take care of others. - People often enter relationships without fully understanding the responsibilities that come with it. - Finding the right person and being willing to work through the difficulties in a relationship is key to emotional happiness. - Arguments are necessary for a relationship to work, but both sides should be willing to listen and learn from each other. - If thoughts and goals in a relationship don't align, it becomes difficult to keep the relationship going. - Love is about finding a lucky person and making memories together, but it also requires time, trust, compromise, and sacrifice. - Boundaries are important in a relationship, and it is the partner's responsibility to respect them. - Relationships can be draining and may affect personal freedom and independence, but having the right partner can maintain those boundaries. - Both You're going to see a person going on from vision to vision ship And they still wonder why they still feel sad or they still haven't filled that void that they need to fill That's because they work on their own mental and physical health because if you can't take care of yourself Then you can't take care of anyone, but I feel like what happens is people don't really like understand the Responsibilities that come with being in a relationship and they go into it like blindsided and then when they're in the relationship They realize I like this not gonna work out too much for me No, of course, I get that but it's about choosing the person you really want to be with if you find your right person Then you'll be willing to do with the responsibilities and you'll both learn like the way through the relationship so like emotionally it's like really hard to like find the right person and like actually be happy in a relationship because of how Difficult it is to actually make it work and make the arguments that you have to get through But in each relationship there needs to be an argument so the relationship can work because a relationship is not about it's not a fairy-tale It's not what we imagine in our head when we're little if we have our vices and we have like what we think it's right And it can be and it can be different from other people's perspective But it's the fact that the both sides are willing to make it work and that what makes your commitment and also communication stronger No, but it's really hard to find someone that's on the same page as you and like I'm like You have to like make a whole new person like a part of your personal life and everything and that could be like really difficult I'm like sometimes people aren't really willing to commit all of that time and effort that you have to put into relationship to make it work and like the arguments that you get into because of Different like point of views on everything and then you just leave after the arguments because they don't think it's worth it But from my point of view I'm seeing this as someone can't like read your mind Because of course both of you are going to have arguments both of you are going to think oh What's like both of you are definitely going to think oh, I'm the right one or like no They're in the wrong and I'm in the right of course you're going to think that but it's the fact that It's the fact We listen to each other because like we're both like everyone's like human We're both we all do our wrongs and we all do our rights But if we learn from it, and we listen to each other's sides even if it's wrong we can have a mutual agreement on it Yeah, but when your thoughts and goals don't match it becomes really hard to keep a relationship going like for example If one person only cares about like enjoying the present while the other one cares more about the future There's gonna. It's gonna like create a lot of problems because you don't see eye to eye But I want to talk about the joy you get from relationships the happiness a person brings into your life Because there's many cases as where you can be at the lowest point of your life if someone comes and pick you up right away That's like it's in one person's eye that can be like like it's cliche like they're Romeo to they're like Juliet Do you they just come and like pick you up and like you've been your happiness? Yeah, but like what if you're both at your lowest like what happens then are you gonna focus on yourself Are you gonna focus on your partner like it? I feel like that puts you in like the worst situation ever because like you want to be there for your partner But you also want to be there for yourself and at the end of the day, it should be yourself over your partner But when you get into a relationship, I feel like you lose that Like thought I mean, of course You should always put yourself before your partner your dreams your career before like, of course your partner But it's a case like if you're saying oh You're both at your lowest in some sense you both can also uplift each other you both can help each other and you can get Both of you to like a positive state that you both want Yeah I feel like getting when you're on your lowest is really hard to like pick someone out like pick someone else up and make them like to the level that you want them to be and That does not make sense But to me if your love is really strong for that person both of your loves like really strong Then still in the back of your head. It's gonna be oh, I want myself to get better But I also want my partner to get better so I'm gonna at least try a bit to uplift my partner or make them feel better as much as I can and like I Also expect to say I like like when that happens you end up losing yourself as well and also losing your partner If you feel like you're losing yourself Then of course that you need to put then of course you need to put more time in yourself And then you can think about your partner later or think about the fact if you still want to be in a relationship Because we all know love isn't like a grand gesture or like the moon and stars to me I would say love is luck you find your lucky person and With that love you have like a great relationship and sometimes you get unlucky and like the relationship doesn't go the way you expect it but it's the fact that you hold on to that luck and that love gets you many places you make many memories with someone and You're you just know what the future has You'll never knew you'll never know what the future holds for you, but But it's the moment that you're living it But I feel like relationships have so many needs that come with it Like if you're not gonna make time for your partner It's not gonna work and if you're not ready to like trust or compromise and understand it's also not gonna work So you have to make so many changes when you start dating someone But then you also have to be willing to put in all of that effort Knowing that there's a chance that you're gonna get hurt and I feel like at the end of the day it might not be worth It like if you're lucky, obviously, you're not gonna get hurt But to me, we've all seen those relationships that start up from school or even elementary or like high school Like, you know that thing of high school sweethearts If you still put this in mind and you still think about like wow There's like these are like one in a hundred like or like even one in a million that like these relationships happen But we have to remember that these relationships were not even like close to perfect They may even like thought about ending like ending the relationship But they've been formed after a lot of thinking and understanding and that's what like led them up to the point and I'm not saying Oh, you're a high school boyfriend or girlfriend. It needs to be the person you marry but what I'm trying to say is that there's still relationships like those and the in these relationships are Basically built up of trust honesty and commitment Okay I feel like those relationships require like so much sacrifice and compromise and sometimes like sacrificing like your personal Ambitions and desires to like work for your partner's needs is like really draining and like when you're in a relationship like that I feel like you also lose your sense of like independence and everything and like being in a committed relationship It may like adjust your personal freedom and independence and that could be that could also be very draining So I'm not saying like relationships can't work it definitely can but I feel like there's a lot of cons there's more cons to it than pros because the amount of effort and like Compromise and sacrifice they have to put into it But that's where boundaries come in if your partner understands your boundaries that you said like you like I want to be independent I don't want you to do this for me or I want you know How I value my own freedom if your partner understand that that also like give you that also like gives you a sense of relief It's like okay with the person I'm with like they understand the boundaries I have and they respect it and they don't like Cross it and I feel like you're still gonna have your freedom You're still gonna have your independence if you have the right person Because at the end of the day it really depends what type of person you are and what type of person you're with Yeah, I agree boundaries are important but I feel like it's so hard to maintain them and then like at the end of the day you don't end up maintaining them and Then you like lose your emotional dependency and like your whole life will revolve around them But that's where I'm gonna stop you. That's where because you're the one setting the boundaries and It's it's your partner's job to maintain them It's your partner's job not to cross them Like I said before if your partner does not cross them Then I would say you're in a healthy relationship and if your partner does cross them then it's like, okay You can't respect my boundaries So I have to think that if I really should be in that relationship and of course that's gonna hurt because you thought oh my gosh It's the right person. So at the end of the day you end up getting hurt In a relationship you will always get hurt and and if it's to the point that oh my gosh I'm saying like this is draining my mental health This is like physically mentally like I'm over it and in a relationship also your partner's gonna get hurt You both are gonna hurt each other. You're you both are gonna have your vices But at the end of the day it matters that you both can fix up each other you both can apologize You both can be mature about it. You don't have to get each other You don't understand like a core I mean, of course you have to understand where you're coming from, but you don't have to agree with them, but your relationship is not like The relationship is not made up like oh like almost agreeing with them But it's more about understanding it taking into Consideration taking it into consideration and Fixing it up with each other So I feel like the worst part of relationship is like you're never gonna truly know who your partner is Like as the years go by there's gonna be so many layers that you unfold and like they could be a totally different person from when you first met them and like That could change your whole entire life or like from when you first started dating them and then as years go by They could like change and then like in the beginning you're so compatible with the person you get along so good And it's going so good for so many years And then they start changing and you don't like that and then it's like what the hell do I do now because like they're changed And you've committed so much of your life to them, but now you're not compatible anymore because they change so much So my thing is in a relationship you always are gonna be changing like the person's always gonna change and like even if you may not notice it in someone else's eye that you're gonna be changing because our own perspective is Because somehow people's own point of view on us is much more brighter than ours than like we actually think it is And even if like your partner does change and you both change then at that point in your life Even you've been like through so much with them, and you thought who they are at that point Of course it matters But to me it matters if they're changing for the worst and that's something totally different. That's something that they need to work on themselves And I'll also get you thinking I shouldn't be in this relationship, but if they're changing for the better then that's also But if they're changing for the better, I wouldn't say it gives you a reason Oh, I should end it with their person because it also If they're changing for the better, that's a good thing Because if they're changing for the better, that's a good thing and like it can and it's like also a person is getting better for you a person is a person is putting effort to change for you to be better for you and Overall just make the relationship even better I totally get where you're coming from and I feel like relationships could work based on like the people and Like it's every I feel like every relationship is different as well, but like as long as you both are committed I feel like it could work out Now if you made it to the end we want to say thank you for listening to us Yeah to our mind start hating us a new episode will be posted next week about what causes a person to cheat If you like this episode hit that like button and this is committed or not. We'll see you soon Now if you made it to the end of this we want to say thank you for listening to us Yeah to our mind start hating us a new episode will be posted next week about what causes a person to really cheat If you like this episode hit the like button for a cookie I'm your hostess Sona and this is my good friend Amina and this is committed or not. We'll see you soon