The Art of Courageous Living, Podcast #1

The speaker, Jessica Rapoport, introduces her podcast, "The Art of Courageous Living," and discusses the topic of fear. She believes that fear is like a good friend, trying to protect and spur us on to take action. Jessica shares her personal experience of being kidnapped at the age of six and how it shaped her chief defense mechanism of freezing up. She encourages listeners to reflect on their own core fears and chief defenses and suggests journaling and writing a letter to fear as ways to better understand and release fear. Jessica also emphasizes the importance of prayer and seeing everything as part of the answer to overcome fear. She invites listeners to join her for future episodes and to share the podcast with others. Hello, everyone. I'm Jessica Rapoport, and this is the very first episode of The Art of Courageous Living. I'm so excited that you're here today, and I'm going to start out this podcast with the topic of fear. Isn't that fun? Well, the reason I'm doing this is because this is really why I decided to make a podcast. There have been many times in my life when I have felt this overwhelming fear, and I've learned some things going through it that I hope to impart to you. I hope that as you listen to each episode, you will feel more courageous. You will have tools and feel more empowered to deal with the fear that may come up in your life. And I really feel like this is my calling to help other people and help myself as well, because certainly dealing with fear is a practice. So fear is universal, right? All humans struggle with fear. We try to push it away because its purpose feels like it's there to devour us. But that is really not the truth. Fear is really more like a good friend. I know that sounds crazy, right? It's true, because fear is trying to protect you in some way. It's trying to warn you about something in some way, and it's trying to spur you on to a different action. And that's definitely something a good friend would do, right? But it doesn't feel good in that moment. And so we push it away. But I'm hoping that through each of these podcasts that you will learn that pushing it away is not going to help. It almost blows up even bigger when you try to push it away. So I want to share an experience that I went to, my very first experience with fear. And I want you to think about what yours was. So when I was six years old, I was kidnapped in front of a grocery store. And this experience was the very first time I ever felt afraid. And how I dealt with it was to freeze up. And generally, we do one of three things, sometimes four things, when we have fear, right? We fight, we run, we freeze. And then the fourth one, which is not as common, is we placate. So we all do one of those things, okay? And whatever that thing is that we do when faced with fear, it's generally our – it's called our chief defense, okay? Our chief defense. And that fear, that initial fear, when you think back to what is the very first memory that you have of fear, think about that for a minute. What is the very first memory? Now, some of us can't remember in our childhood. But at some point, you have some memory of fear that you can remember. So I want you to go back to that moment for a moment, which it could be uncomfortable. I want you to think about how did you react in that moment? Did you fight? Did you run? Did you freeze? Did you placate? What did you do? And really, what were you most afraid of? Now, I was kidnapped by a man. And obviously, I survived this kidnapping. And I will share about it. But what I'm getting at here is I froze up. That was my chief defense, freezing up. And that – I carried that chief defense with me throughout my life and used that same defense when other things would come up in my life that made me fearful. And I'm betting that you did the same, whatever yours was, right? And that core fear – now, I was kidnapped. So you'd think my core fear would be being kidnapped. But after that happened, I wasn't afraid that I was going to be kidnapped again. Even at six years old, I kind of thought, well, that would be pretty unusual to be kidnapped twice in your life, right? So I really wasn't afraid of that specifically. But because I felt like I made a bad decision, a wrong decision, that became my core fear that I'm going to make the wrong decision. And that core fear carried through my entire life as well as my chief defense. And I'm betting that the same thing has happened to you. So as you're thinking back to this core fear, this time when you were afraid, I want you to really spend some time thinking about what core fear did that unlock in you? And what was the chief defense that you used in that moment? And how has that been carried with you in your life? So you may need to pause this and really think about it for a minute. I really suggest journal writing. I love journal writing. And I totally suggest doing a quick write on this. Really try to write down every detail that you can think of, of that very first core memory of fear that you have. And write down everything you can, everything that happened, everything you could see, taste, smell, hear, how you felt, what you did after it, all of it, as much as you can, get all of it out on paper. Okay? And then I want you to think about how has that shown up again and again in your life? So I'm hoping that I can give you some tools to respond in a different way to fear so that you can use it to fuel action and gain confidence in your life. So we want to better understand fear. We want to figure out how to use fear. And the best way to do that is to face it, not try to push it down. Examine it, like I'm saying. Write it all out. Examine it and see it as a gift. I know that sounds absolutely crazy. Fear is a gift? Yes, it is. It's a gift. You have to really think that your fear is serving you in some way, right? So how is it serving you? What are you getting out of this relationship with fear? This could be another possible quick write. After you write about that first incident and try to really think about what is your core fear and your chief defense, the second writing that I would like you to do, and maybe not right away, but give it a day or two or something, is to write a letter to fear and get it all out. Literally start a letter, like, Dear Fear, and really write and talk about how you feel about it. How does it serve you? What are you getting out of it? What don't you like about it? Just like as if you were writing to a person. And those two things alone, right there, will help you to dissipate any fears that you have. Just getting things out helps us. And if you're experiencing fear about something right now in your life, I suggest you write about that as well. Write it all out and really say, Here's what I'm afraid of. Here's what I'm doing. Here's what I wish would happen. All of that. And just get it out on paper. When you do that, you are kind of releasing it, releasing it from your body, from your brain, from your spirit. Release it. And then the second part of that, which is really important to me, if you're a person of faith, or even if you're not a person of faith, but you really want to see that you overcome the way that you react to fear and learn how to respond is to pray. Reach out to God and ask for help. Really ask for help. And say, I'm struggling with this. Not sure what to do about it. Please help me. And then, and this is key, from the moment you pray that, that you see everything from that point forward as a part of the answer to that prayer. So if you get a phone call 15 minutes later, and it's from a friend, and they just are encouraging you, say, Thank you, God. Thank you for having my friend call me and encourage me. It doesn't matter what it is. From that point forward, start to see everything and everything that you see, write it down. My friend called me and encouraged me. Whatever happens from that point forward, even if it's not necessarily a good thing. I still want you to write it down and see it as a part of the answer. It's like a puzzle that you don't know all the you don't have all the pieces in front of you. But we're going to work together. And we're going to put it all together to fit the pieces and figure this out so that you will see this big picture and go, Oh, I get it now. Now I see what it is. And that is going to be the goal of this podcast. So I hope you'll join me for the next episode. And I will talk more about my kidnapping, I think in the next episode. And please share this with your friends. If you think that this is something that they would be interested in. I look forward to hearing your comments and feedback. And you can also find me on Instagram and Facebook. So thank you so much for listening. Until next time.