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Talk: 20050305-Larry_Rosenberg-IMSRC-self_knowing_learning_how_to_live_part_4-6095 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 00:47:06 Display_question: How do you skillfully respond to ridicule? Keyword_search: ridicule, present moment, humiliated, defensive, energy, transform, transcend, dharma practice, awareness, mindfulness, vulnerable, response, reaction, beginner’s mind Question_content: Questioner: In a public situation, when someone ridicules you, and if you respond or say something, you will actually put them in a situation of perhaps, feeling the same kind of ridicule, or the same kind of, putting up with them. And you don't want to cause that, but you want to somehow rather have it clarified. This is not acceptable, this kind of behavior, towards me, in front of other people. Larry: Got it. Questioner: Thank you. Larry: No new instructions. Keep it simple. Stick to the present moment. The person says something to you. You feel the word ridicule, but not the ridicule, the energy of it. The practice is exactly with that. Now, I'm not going to tell you what to say or do, but I have more confidence, that you will have a better chance of saying and doing something that is more useful, if you first take care of your reaction, which is feeling humiliated. That's exactly what I'm saying. That the natural reaction is, you defend yourself, and then if you're kind to considerate, you may overdo it, and say well, I don't want to hurt that feeling. Maybe swallow your ridicule so you don't offend them. People have all kinds of ways, anything but starting where you are. Where you are is you feel ridiculed. Okay, not the word, but the energy of it, feeling it now, as you are more, and more able to, you understand, that is what our practice is, wherever you are. That's it. More, and more, if you practice it, you're more able to do it. It's like anything else. If you don't, you won't learn how to do it. If you have incentive, you will. be aware of your of.... Questioner: And do what? Larry: Be aware of your… Questioner: Humiliation Larry: Yeah. Now when the awareness more, and more, is able to be with the humiliation, remember being aware of what is, transforms what is. In other words, even transcends it. Everything that we've been talking about all week, has been about come back to what is, come back to what is. I mean the fact of now. What makes it a spiritual, or a dharma practice is, by coming back to now, with awareness, transforms, or even transcends now. So, awareness is an energy, and the more you develop it, the more it matures, the more refined it becomes, the more subtle it becomes, in this energy field. The more refined is, the more powerful, the more coarse, is not much less powerful, as the awareness. Think of it here's, the awareness it touches it, not out there. It touches the humiliation, not the word, the energy. Throw the label out, and the mindfulness has an effect on what it touches. It's beneficial. Break_line: One of the main things that happens, is it starts to take the power out of the humiliation. Now that's a tough one, and maybe you can't do it right there, in the midst of it. You may have to do some work at home, or whatever, but if you get in the habit, more and more, of turning to what this is bringing up, the awareness transforms the energy, of feeling ridiculed. You can feel the muscular tighten up, feeling vulnerable, defensive, angry, hurt, whatever it is, but not the words, the rawness of it. As that starts to lose its potency, even weaken a little bit, the next moment, is a moment that's possibly, you're able to have a response, not a reaction. A reaction is mechanical. It's like you prick someone, they bleed. A response comes out of beginner's mind, and at first it won't be completely beginner's mind, and a response is fresh, and more likely to be appropriate, for what's happening. Wiser and kinder. Let's put it that way. Yeah. End_time: 00:51:08
