Q1-20140618-Larry_Rosenberg-IMSRC-dont_turn_away_the_liberating_practice_of_relationship_iii-23722

Talk: 2014-06_18 Don't Turn Away - The Liberating Practice Of Relationship III__.json Start_time: 01:01:14 Display_question: Can you speak about space for love between people in this practice? Keyword_search: love, energy, compassion, self-centered, suffering, empty, death, honeymoon phase, wife, suicide, conditioned, religions, Sunday School, Hebrew School, meditation, gratification, His Holiness, Gandhi, wisdom Question_content: Questioner: Do you have a space or a sense for love, particularly among people? Larry: Love. I’m sorry how did I miss this one? Meditation is an explosion of love. People are saying, where's compassion and all this? I got some notes. Questioner: Bit I mean particularly with people. Is that still egos… Larry: Yes. Okay. It's a vital question, what we call love. I love you, honey baby, booby, but if you even look at another person, I'll kill you. There's another love. First of all, when you tap this energy, you could call it love. Now then the challenge becomes, it's very important, because what little I've tapped of it, whatever my little capacity to love was, definitely it dramatically enhanced itself, when I started tapping this energy. And then there was a period where I just wanted to hug everyone a policeman. He's keeping me safe and he's got his gun like, kiss me, I love you. So then there's appropriateness how to express it. That would be good with my wife, but with the policeman, I'd be in another building after that. Break_line: Yeah. So but now compassion here's where sometimes people will say, and maybe those who are relatively new may have this thought, this seems awfully self-centered. All you're talking about is your suffering, and taking care. The best thing you can do for the people in your life is wise up, and no one can do it for you. In other words, it's a gift to everyone, who's in your life. The degree to which you start to get to know yourself, and let go of what needs to be let go of, and all the love you could ever want is available. It's blocked. Break_line: Now, so there is a love, we call it love. It's conditioned, isn't it? And it is usually self-centered, especially the honeymoon phase. It's wonderful. And then somehow, it's gone. So what happened? So, it's a different kind of... and what we call it, it's nice. Now let's see how I can put… the love that I'm talking about that you tap, when the mind is really, in a sustained way, empty. It's as real as death. It's a real force in the universe. It's not something you practice and cultivate. It's real, and you tap it, even if it's just a trickle. And then the challenge is, to express it. Break_line: Now we have conventions, we're being encouraged, all religious teachings to be kind, to be generous, et cetera. They're working from the outside in. And if just that worked, the planet wouldn't look the way it does. In other words, that's not enough. All the religions have given us very good values to live by. It doesn't… just take a look at the planet, and it's always been that. So, we need some inner both. I'm not saying don't give those teachings, like I learned all these things in Sunday school and Hebrew school that I learned here, but they didn't teach me how to tap something, that was more reliable, than just cultivating a quality. Do you see what I'm getting at? Something? There's more to go. I think there is. You have a look on your face. Questioner: I was particularly interested in... like between people. Larry: Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. You think it's about squirrels? Yeah, I love squirrels. Questioner: You're saying that the same thing that you might tap into through meditation. You're tapping into another… Larry: Yeah. What I'm trying to say is, the benefits that come out of this, that's what you have to share with... let's say there's someone in your life, I gather, or you'd liked it to be, or whatever. Love is good. Not always. All right. But you do have to look, let me very briefly tell you the main way I learned this, the power of this. So, I have a fair amount of confidence in what I'm saying. Break_line: My wife, we went through courtship, and honeymoon, love, and all that. And then it settled down and fine. And there was a terrible catastrophe. Terrible catastrophe. There was a suicide. One of her daughters, she had two daughters. When I married her, without going into all the details, it's the worst thing that could happen to a parent. So, I'm married to that person. I didn't know her daughter that well, but I knew her, for about three years, or so. And it was painful for all of us. My wife was unable to be, to do joyful, fun, and wonderful things, for a number of years. And I learned the difference between gratification and love. And I was surprised. I was surprised myself, that I had more... that I discovered that distinction. That a lot of what is called sex is, just excuse the word, fucking, and then we use the word, making love. A lot of what we call making love, maybe. But what I saw was, because I was not getting gratified, it didn't affect how much I loved her. And that surprised me, because I think that before that, I was mainly satisfied with, do you love me, honey baby? All of that, like everyone else. And what I saw was, wow. And then, of course, she started to heal and it's, do you see what I'm getting at? So maybe that would help. Break_line: Gratification and love, that's not conditioned. Maybe that might help. One is conditioned. In other words, the love is there, as long as the conditions are there. And the other is, I think, some of the great human beings on the planet, his Holiness, possibly Gandhi, others, I think they know exactly what this is, and that's why it's authentic. But you still have to express it appropriately for each person. And that's wisdom. End_time: 01:07:53