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Talk: 19890525-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-anapanasati_full_awareness_of_breath_series_tape_13-33816 Leandra Tejedor Start_time: 00:00:56 Display_question: Most of the time, when my mind is calm enough, to watch my mind, what my mind is doing is just flitting from one thing, to another, as if sort, of like free association Does that mean that there are deep underlying things going on, that my concentration isn't good enough to be seeing? Keyword_search: calm, free association, concentration, awareness, kilesas, aversion, greed, delusion, confusion, wisdom, suppress Question_content: Questioner: There is about sitting practice. I guess I just want your reaction. Most of the time, when my mind is calm enough, to watch my mind, what my mind is doing is just flitting from one thing, to another, as if sort, of like free association. One thought will have a word in it, and it will create another thought that's related, and just sort of all random together. Not very much emotional content at all. Just sort of random. That seems to be the usual thing for what's going on. Does that mean that there are deep underlying things going on, that my concentration isn't good enough to be seeing? Larry: No. Questioner: Or is that just what's going on? Seems like it is. Larry: Yeah. Are you suffering during those moments? Questioner: No, it's just Larry: Don't look for trouble. Actually, what other kinds of things that come up people will report, when you… let's say if the mind gets a little bit calm, and you're watching it, and thought…there'll be a lot of partial ideas, and thoughts, because it starts to come up. Awareness just cuts its head right off, and it goes its way, and then another one, and it's a little bit like a lunatic asylum, because nothing gets a chance to finish. But you're not trying to suppress it at all. It's just that awareness does that. It takes the energy out of everything. That's what it's supposed to do. So that, in and of itself, doesn't sound like a problem. That's what's happening. Be aware of it. If it should change, then know that. Break_line: Now keep doing it. Because sometimes what happens is that… let's say if you recall when we had an agenda, like seeing the kilesas just let's say setting the agenda, for seeing if there was any greed in the mind, or not. Or if there was any aversion, or not, or any confusion, or not. And knowing it, knowing if there was, or there wasn't. Sometimes what happens is that the mind, when it feels that it's being watched, not that the kilesas kind of hide for a while. They kind of crawl under a rock, and then you lose your attention sometimes, for a few seconds, and suddenly a whole bunch of them come running out, and they just make up for lost time. Break_line: But as long as you be careful, you're not suppressing anything. It's really the sword that this yogi has right here. Awareness is like that. It's like sword of wisdom. It just it takes the air out of things. They lose their potency. So as long as you know that, as long as you're not like trying to push something down, then it's fine. It won't stay that way is my guess. My prediction. Questioner: My experience is just what you suggest that when I lose my attention, then I discover I'm lost in something and there's much more emotional charge in whatever it is that I've gotten lost in. And sometimes I then say it's some feeling of guilt of something that happened in the past. Then I start to think, let's see, which is this aversion? And I start thinking about it, which doesn't seem worthwhile. Larry: Yeah, that's often decked out as something worth doing. But it's really confusion. In other words, greed, hatred, its delusion. Delusion is always wavering. It's not sure there's darkness, there's hesitancy, there's conflict, there's stalling, there's all of that. Those are aspects of mind. Not that sometimes it isn't legitimate. You really don't know what to do, or you don't know what's happening. But very often when the mind is like that, this would be the expression of it, sort of. Now it could be genuine, but don't work too hard, to name them. That's not really as important as just to be with what's there, and let it go. Do you have moments when there's not much thinking and it's just pretty much empty? Questioner: Yes. It almost seems visual. It's almost as if there's a gray wall or something. Larry: Could it be like an empty screen? Questioner: Yeah, an empty screen, exactly. Larry: Yeah. You're normal. That's my reaction. End_time: 00:05:34
