Q6-19830724-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-awakening_intelligence-1556 Q6

Talk: 19830724-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-awakening_intelligence-1556 Leandra Tejedor Start_time: 00:56:36 Display_question: How do I sustain a sense of urgency in my practice? Keyword_search: dullness, urgency, sleepy mind, practice, investigation, Krishnamurti, Tibetan, Korea, energy, reflection, Western monk, koan, United States of America, Zendo Question_content: Questioner: I've been experiencing a lot of dullness, this week. Just a dark, heavy, sleepy mind… dozing. And I'm finding that my investigation has been very superficial. Too much on the surface, and not enough of that moment-to-moment penetration. And I'm wondering how to sustain me, with the word you used the other day, the urgency…this practice, just to keep it, you know, keep it going all the time. Because I find it just... it's tiring. It's wearing… Larry: Yeah. Questioner: And ummm… Larry: I don't think we can simulate the urgency. I mean, it's a little like love, or getting a joke. And sometimes we genuinely don't have it. We genuinely don't have it. In other words, there isn't that, I don't care what Krishnamurti said, I don't have this sense of urgency. So, the approach, it would seem to me there are, you know, in a way… you probably know this, in the Tibetan tradition, ways of cultivating simulating, sort of lighting a fire under your behind. In other words, the whole reflecting on how, you know this one, how short life is, and how precious the human birth is. And here it is, kind of slipping through our fingers. And sometimes, you know, out of that can come a rush of energy, that is, I can't afford to dilly dally. Break_line: But personally, I don't use that. What I would do, is again, I would…see it sounds like you're trying to penetrate dullness. So that's a dull mind trying to penetrate dullness. I'm not...nothing personal, Roger. Fortunately, we trust each other. Break_line: Let me give you an example of what I mean. Once, there were two Western monks and myself were in Korea. And as soon as we got there, we got sick. And for weeks we couldn't hold the food. And this retreat started… and there was a koan you know. And you're supposed to arouse great doubt and the great energy. And the koan that we were working with was, what am I? And we could barely crawl along, get to the Zendo, let alone ask the question, what am I? You know really the question was, what am I doing here? And how can I get back to the good old United States of America? Break_line: And so, we went to one of the teachers there and he said… it's true that an ardent asking the question is ideal. It's wonderful to really be on fire. What am I? He said, but when you're sick, it can just be a small what am I? Not a big what am I? So, you use a sick person's kind of energy. Alright, so you're in it. You're kind of going with it, but you're floating with it. You haven't given up. You're not lost in it, but you're not unrealistically pushing yourself, because it won't work. And you'll just be more exhausted. End_time: 01:00:33