Jennifer Luciana Little Light Gems Episode 3 - Negativity

In this podcast episode, Jen Luciana discusses negativity and how to turn it into positivity. She shares her personal experiences with negativity and explains that the way we think about ourselves and our self-worth can attract negative energy. Jen emphasizes the importance of speaking positively about ourselves and our situations in order to change the energy around us. She tells a story about a client who had a negative mindset and how he was able to shift it with her help. Jen also provides tips on how to handle negative energy and shares the power of gratitude in creating a more positive life. Hi again, everyone. It's Jen Luciana. Thank you so much for joining me for my Little Light Gems podcast. Today, we're talking about something that everybody's familiar with. Today's episode is all about negativity. And those of you who know me know that I am like Wonder Woman with my bracelets when it comes to any kind of negativity coming into my life. Now, I will say this. I'm a person who has experienced a lot of negativity in her life and I've also had to learn how to deflect it. We've all been guilty of putting negativity or complaining, you know, about all kinds of things in our lives. But I've learned over the years how to change negativity into positivity in my life. And without sounding too much like a spiritual preacher here or, you know, a little cheerleader, I would love to teach you guys today some of the things I've learned along the way that have absolutely changed my life for the better and I've been taught how to change negativity into positivity. And I've learned how to change negativity into positivity, okay? So, you know, look, we've all had someone treat us so badly that we want to run them over with our car and then kind of stop, throw it into reverse and run them over again, right? We've all had people say things to us that we didn't deserve. We've all had people dump our issues onto others. We've all experienced negativity in some way, shape or form. So today, we're going to talk about what not to do when negativity comes your way. We're going to talk about how to keep it from... We're going to talk about how to keep from drawing negativity into your life, how to manage it if it is there, how to keep it away from your home and how to protect your own personal energy and your home against negativity. So if you're ready, I'm ready. I know I love this stuff, so come along with me. Okay. So, you know, negative energy comes in many, many forms, right? It comes in words, thoughts, actions, negative people, you know, there's some people that are just really negative. We carry around negative memories or emotions or feelings. We have negative habits. We sabotage ourselves. I mean, the list goes on and on and on. Okay. Now, the next thing I say, please don't come for me, all right? Just listen to what I'm going to say and then we're going to get into it. But the primary cause, and this is not in every single case, but usually, the primary cause of negative energy coming into your life is because we have negative thoughts about ourselves. Let that sink for a minute. Don't say, Jen, what are you crazy? I didn't do anything. I'm having a good day and somebody dropped their crap on me. Okay. Just hang in there with me. All right? The way you view yourself, your self-worth, your self-image, your beliefs about what you deserve, your beliefs about what you can achieve, and how others view you will 100% affect the amount of negativity that you have in your life. Okay? So if you walk around, just hear me out. If you have a low opinion of yourself or if you don't love yourself, you might, for example, stay in a job that you hate because you don't think you can get a better one or that you don't deserve a better one. You might stay in a relationship with somebody who doesn't show you respect because you don't feel that you deserve better. You can deal with physical pains or ailments that you can actually get treatment for, but you don't believe that it will ever get better. You just kind of resign yourself to the idea that this is the way things are. You can continue bad habits and kind of self-sabotaging scenarios because you speak negatively about yourself and you believe what you're saying. Do you know what I'm saying? So you guys have heard me say this before. Sometimes people stay in the same, call it, economic bracket. Let's just say they live paycheck to paycheck to paycheck to paycheck. And when somebody says, hey, do you want to go on a vacation, oh, the reply is, oh, no, I can't afford it. Okay. Well, that might be true. That might be true for the time being, but try this on for size. How about saying, you know what, thank you for the invitation, but I can't afford that yet. Or if you're in a relationship or if you're single, let's just say if you're single, and you know, you're just having a frustrating time, can't find your person or find somebody that you're even attracted to, and you just say, oh, well, the right one's never going to come. Well, if you speak that into the universe, the universe is always listening, right? How about saying, the right one isn't here yet? Always attach the yet to it because that means there's hope, there's potential for change. There's the opportunity that, you know what, right now, I might not be in the best space or I might not be where I want to be, but that's not permanent, that's temporary. So the way that you speak about yourself, the way that you think about yourself, the way that you look at your current situation, your potential for your future situation, and how you speak on it will absolutely affect the amount of negative energy that comes into your life, right? So I'm going to tell you a little story about a client of mine. Let's just call him Dale. He had a really abusive upbringing. There was some major, major mental problems happening with both of his parents. He has brothers and sisters that are currently still dealing, they're all adults, and they're all dealing with the aftermath of having two mentally ill parents, two in extreme, you know what I mean? I'm not saying, oh, they were selfish or, I mean, these folks, one of them had a severe mental illness and the other was an enabler. So my client had this really abusive upbringing and he was told that he was useless and he was told that he was, you know, quote, a loser. He was told that he was stupid, that he wouldn't amount to anything over and over again. And of course, this is the mindset that he was raised with and he believed it. So he ended up marrying a woman that was using him for a green card and she subsequently had a child, which of course, he is a wonderful dad and he loves this child who's now an adult. And they, he and her mother did get a divorce. But he believed that he didn't deserve anybody better. And to this day, she continues to use him for money, even though they're divorced and she's always trying to get one over on him. He also worked in a profession for many, many years where his own personal safety was at risk on a daily basis. He ended up with a lot of serious physical issues due to the nature of the work, but he continued on with it. After his divorce, he dated numerous women who blatantly used him, I mean, even told him that they were using him. He went out with these kinds of women over and over and over again, and it's because he had this belief system that he didn't deserve anything better. And he spoke about that too. That's how he spoke about himself. Well, you know, I'll never find a normal woman or he'll say, oh, well, you know, I always attract the crazies or oh, well, you know, who else is going to love me? I mean, good grief. And he just spoke negatively about himself all the time, and he just got stuck in this negative story about himself, about his situation, and about his life. And subsequently, his work suffered, his health suffered, and his finances suffered, and his relationships suffered. So the good news is that we met, and having been in that negative mindset myself early on in my life or as a young adult or into my adulthood, I was able to learn how to shift that mindset into a far more positive mindset and into a mindset of gratitude. And once I started doing that, oh, my goodness, nothing but positivity rolled into my life. I should say nothing but positivity, but much more positivity rolled into my life. And then when negativity did come in, I knew how to handle it. I knew how to block it or reject it or manage it. And that's how I live today. I mean, I'm certainly not perfect about it, but, you know, my life is way better now because I speak differently about myself, I speak differently about my current situation, I speak differently about my finances, my health, my relationships, my existence in the world, my work. I speak far more differently. I speak a lot differently now about that, and everything has a far more positive vibe to it. So anyway, once we started working together and I started teaching him the things that I've learned, he started seeing himself in a more positive light, and he started actually loving himself and taking care of himself, and he started speaking kindly toward himself and about himself. And he started believing that he deserved a better life than the one he was living. And what do you know? Oh, my gosh, all this energy changed from negative to positive, and things started happening. And, you know, that saying, right, an attitude of gratitude creates more things to be grateful for. And when you stop complaining about the misery of your life, and you start saying, you know what, but at least I have a roof over my head, or if it's 98 degrees outside, you know what, I have air conditioning. A lot of people don't. You start to find those little things that you're grateful for, and everything starts to change. So anyway, let me take a look here at my notes, so I don't miss anything here. So, let's talk about some things that you should not do when negative energy comes into your life. Let's say somebody decides to pick a fight with you, right? You know there's a lot of different ways that you can pursue it. Let's just say somebody picks a fight with you. You know it's going to happen. Somebody starts to irritate you. Somebody starts to gaslight you, or somebody just starts to, they just start with you. There are three different responses. You can have a neutral response, which is, I'm not going to engage. I hear you. I understand what you're saying, but, you know, I'm not interacting, I'm not responding to this. You can respond in a negative way, which is, you know, okay, you want to pick a fight with me? I'm going to fight back. You're going to say nasty things to me, I'm going to say nasty things back. In fact, I'm going to say them louder, and I'm going to be even meaner to you than you are to me. Right? Now, where is that going to get you? You know where this is going. If you create negativity, or if you respond to negativity with negativity, it's only going to escalate. And I'm not saying that you don't have a reason to be upset. I'm not saying you don't have a reason to fire back at somebody. But if you want to perpetuate the negativity, then go ahead and respond to negativity with negativity. Just because you get invited to an argument, it doesn't mean you have to accept the invitation. You know what I'm saying? You have to realize, when negativity, let's just say, let's just say, you're driving down the road, you're minding your own business, and if you live where I live in Westchester County, this is more than likely going to happen to you at some point. Somebody's going to be a jerk. Somebody's going to cut you off. Somebody's not going to use their blinker. They're going to, you know, push their way into the line when everybody else was waiting or something of the sort. Right? There's always that guy. And let's just say they cut you off. What are you going to do? Are you going to start screaming and cursing at this person who can't even hear you? Are you going to ride up on their back end and start honking your horn? Where's this going to get you? It's going to get you nowhere. Does it mean that you can't get irritated with it? Of course not. But what I learned how to say when somebody cuts me off is I say, God bless you. Wow. That was a really stupid move, especially if there's somebody else in the car, like my children, my son or his friends or, you know, you got to temper yourself, so to speak. You could lay on the horn. You never know. Nowadays, people jump out of the car and they start beating you up. Like who knows? What you can do is you say, you know what? That person's a real call it. You know what? You can respond and say, you know what? That person is such an asshole. They are. They don't understand my language. That person's an asshole. But you know what? I only have to deal with them for 30 seconds out of my day. They have to deal with themselves for their whole lives. So thank you, God. I don't have to deal with that asshole for any longer than 30 seconds. You say, God bless you. Go back to driving school. Have the day you deserve and let it go. That way, you don't bring that negativity into your life. That's a way to manage it. When somebody picks a fight with you and they're coming for you, you do the same thing. Say, you know what? I don't respond to that volume. If you want to have an actual conversation with me and you can speak to me with respect, then we can talk. But otherwise, I'm not doing this with you. And you walk away. And sometimes it's hard. Sometimes you want to take that boat oar and you want to beat somebody across the face with it. Joyce, take that out, please. Sometimes you want to take that boat oar and you want to smack someone across the head with it, but you can't. That's called assault. You don't want to do that. You know, so there are different ways to respond to negativity. If somebody's picking a fight, I don't respond to that kind of disrespect or I'm not going to talk to you when you're yelling at me like this. And you walk away. And if they keep going, you just keep walking away. When toxic people or negative people come at you in any kind of way, you don't have to accept the invitation. The only way to win against toxic people or negative people is you don't play the game. Don't play the game. You know? You have to remember, you are always in control when negative energy comes into your life. You get to choose how you respond to it. Okay? So, there's also something that I learned. The whole thing about don't respond to negativity, I learned from my friend Liz. I have to give her credit. She taught me an awful lot. She was a mentor to me. She's a dear friend and she taught me an awful lot about changing my energy. And she said to me, Jen, never, never, never, never, never, did I mention never? Respond to negativity with negativity. And I put that into practice. And if there are truer words spoken, I haven't heard them yet, she was absolutely right. So, kudos to my friend Liz for being such a rock star and beating that into my brain because I'm now sharing it with others. And it will help you. I promise you. I promise you. The other thing I learned, and this I kind of learned, I don't remember where I first heard this, but it's incredibly helpful. And it's about the power of the pause, P-A-U-S-E, the power of the pause. When something comes in that's negative, maybe you get a nasty email, maybe you get a nasty text. We've all received those. When something comes in like that or somebody says something that you don't quite understand but it really makes you feel bad, there's power in the pause. Take a minute. Put the phone down. Walk away from it. Put your email away. Walk away from it. Do not respond right away. It's a really good tool to help you manage negativity. Even if you want to respond to the email, let's say, you know, somebody's coming for you and picking a fight or saying horrible things about you or whatever. Or let's say somebody posted something on social media, which happens all the time, you know. People sit there behind their keyboards and they think they're the almighty and they're saying all kinds of nasty things just to get a rise out of you. You don't have to respond right away. Pause. Take a breath. There's a saying that I read on a Twining's teabag or some kind of teabag and it said, act, don't react. Think about that. They're talking about the power of the pause. They're saying don't let your emotions drive your actions. Take a second. Be conscious about your actions, about your thoughts, about your words and then act accordingly. These are all really powerful tools that you can use when you have some kind of negativity coming at you, right? Anyway, so once you realize that negative energy is there in your life, remember, remember, you're in control. You can choose to accept it or you can choose to reject it. You can identify where it's coming from, like is it coming from within you or is it somebody's outside influence? So for example, if somebody says something crappy about you online, is this really just all about them? Are they just a miserable person and that's why they're saying this stuff or did you actually say something that was offensive that really triggered somebody else? The power of that pause is that it gives you that moment, that time to identify where this negative energy is coming from. And then once you figure that out, you can take conscious, conscious steps to dispel the negative energy, right? So negative energy can come from within us. It can come from our belief systems about ourselves. It can come from what other people have told us our whole lives and then we start to create a story in our minds about what that actually is and if it's true or not. It comes from how we speak about ourselves, how we look at the world, how we perceive what other people are saying. Negative energy can be created in a lot of different ways. It can come from an outside influence, you know, if somebody is just having a bad day so they're going to take it out on you or it can come from within you as well. So now, let's figure out how do you clear negative energy, right? Well, we talked about being able to manage it and with the power of the pause and different types of responses, et cetera. How do you clear negative energy? Let's just say you had a house guest that was just a Debbie Downer, okay? And they finally left and it's almost you feel like you want to get rid of that energy in your home, okay? You can always use Palo Santo, you can burn Palo Santo, you can burn white sage in your home and we can talk about how to do that. You can always Google it. It's really easy. Just make sure you don't burn your house down and make sure there's always a window open, okay? But, you know, as you're using the Palo Santo or using the white sage, you can consciously reclaim your space and as you're burning it and you're taking the smoke all over your home, you can say there are no negative energies allowed here, all negative energy, please leave. I only want positive energy and white light in my home. You can do that. You can sage yourself, you know, you can go and change your vibe. You can go out and go for a walk or go out into nature. Nature is a beautiful, beautiful place to put yourself if you feel like you've got too much negative energy around you, go to the woods, go for a walk, go to the beach. It can really help to clean your energy. The other thing you can do from if you want to remove negative energy, let's say from your home, is declutter. Take a drawer, remove anything that you don't need, that you're not using, declutter your furniture, your clothes, your housewares, your paper, your garage, just get rid of stuff. It unclogs the energy in your home. I mean, go through your shoes, you don't have to do everything all in one day, go take one drawer at a time, take one part of your closet at a time, one little section or just say, okay, I'm going to go through my books today and then maybe another day you say, oh, you know what, I'm going to go through my glassware in my home, I got all this crap I don't need. It's a great way to clean out negative energy from your home, okay? Now, there's some candles that you can use that will also help to remove negative energy from your home. There's like candles and special oils. Anything that has lavender in it helps to calm kind of and resist anxiety but it also changes a negative mindset into a positive. Peppermint oil and peppermint scented candles, also peppermint is really stimulating for the immune system and it helps to reverse a negative mental state. Also you can use oils or candles that are scented with sweet orange or types of citrus, lemon, lemongrass, anything that has a citrus scent to it or a sweet orange oil will help to brighten your mood. And then tea tree oil is also really, really good, it's also great for antibacterial usages. Tea tree oil, you can get a candle or some type of oil or some kind of spray, it helps to clear the air and purify your environment. So there's a lot of different tools and a lot of different things that you can use aside from your own conscious energy, your own conscious mindset but changing a negative into a positive. Flipping the script, my client that I told you about, Dale, he's doing great. He's now feeling physically a lot better because he's doing yoga consistently. He has cleaned out his house. He has set up emotional and actual physical boundaries with his ex-wife, with the mother of his daughter. He doesn't allow her to take advantage of him as much as he used to. He speaks, he's careful now about how he speaks about himself. He's still single and he's trying to maybe find a life partner but his attitude about it is totally different. He says things like, well, she wasn't the right one but at least I had a nice time when he goes out on a date with somebody. Or, well, she seems nice and if let's say he just recently went out with somebody and it didn't work out. But he said, well, I'm disappointed but that just means the right one is coming. I'm closer to meeting the right one. And it's such a different mindset than when I first met him years ago, five, six, seven years ago. It's a totally different mindset and he's really worked very hard to learn how to love himself, how to change his energy from the inside, how to turn the negative belief system and the negative story that his parents beat into him into a new story for himself, into a very conscious, positive story for himself moving forward. He sees the future a lot more brightly. He's even thinking about selling his house. He's like, I'll never sell this house. I'll never get out from underneath it, yada, yada. Now he's thinking, you know what? I wonder if I can change my house around so I can, you know, he does construction and carpentry work and he's trying to improve his house so that he can resell it or he can sell it for a better price so that he can move down south. He wants to go down to Florida. And before, he could never even imagine that for himself. But now he sees that he deserves it. Now he's believing a different story about himself. And everything in his life is different, you know? So anyway, we've all dealt with negative energy. I've put it out there myself in my life. I've worked really hard at trying to turn it around for myself. And if I can do it, you guys can do it. And I'm happy to share the stories with my clients and my own personal experiences with this kind of stuff so that maybe it'll help you. All right? So listen, thank you for being here again. It's my pleasure to share these experiences and to share these stories with you. And I hope that they're helping for you. Okay? So remember, when somebody cuts you off, just say, God bless them. Thank God I don't have to spend any more time with them today. Have the day you deserve. And feel good about yourself. Say something in that moment. Turn around and say, you know what? At least I know better not to do that. And you'll see. You won't carry that negative energy around with you in your day. All right, everyone. Thank you for joining me. I'm Jennifer Luciana. Again, if you want to have a session with me in any shape or form for tarot readings, psychic readings, life coaching, et cetera, you can find me on Instagram, TikTok, at the real Jennifer Luciana. You know I've got my website, JenniferLuciana.com. I have my YouTube channel, which is pretty old at this point. Joyce, you can take that out, please. I've got my YouTube channel, and I'm here for you guys. Thank you for being here for me. Stay blessed. Have a great day today. Find some joy in it, and we'll see you next time. Bye now.