Call with Mae (1)

The conversation revolves around finding one's purpose and motivation. The speaker is discussing with their mother the concept of "why" and challenges her to think beyond just supporting her children, suggesting she should consider what legacy she wants to leave for the world. They emphasize that the children are capable and will eventually thrive on their own. The speaker encourages their mother to think about the impact she wants to have and not limit herself to only worrying about her children's well-being. It's a deep discussion on personal growth and legacy building. yeah, I'll send it to you. If you don't mind, I'll do the edits, but I would love for people to understand and see. I hope you understand, because I think I'm a pretty cool guy. No, I do. I was crying after we hung up, because I'm like, man, you know, if I did something right in the world, it's to create this human being. I'm a pretty cool guy. You are a pretty brilliant guy, and when I talk to you, I'm your mother, and I feel that I want to be guided by you when we are in good times, right? When I am mad at you because I'm afraid you're going to fall off a cliff, then it's a whole different story, as you know. It comes out of fear, right? And I know that with my father, it's the same thing. When we feel what we love the most, potentially being in danger, for him and I don't have the ability to... I'm the same way. I was that way with Caitlin and stuff, but it comes out so toxic with us, because it comes out as anger, and we don't really listen to them, and we think we know best. It's like we show how... You think it all comes out of fear? Yeah, it all comes from fear. And it's crazy, because I... Listen to this one. I sent you a print yesterday of some writings, a little picture, and I released the fear of you failing, of fear failing, when I'm not there, regardless of the reasons that were discussed in the conversation earlier. I released, but then there is another layer that became a problem to me, is guilt, because I'm feeling I'm letting guys down. So now, I was in a... Let me just finish this, please. My bad. I was on a training, an AI training with Jordan, the founder of the company I'm with, and he was asking out of 1,200 of us, what is your why? What is your why? I hate that question. But my why has always been, your honor, Sophia, and at that moment, I couldn't find my why, and I'll be fully transparent with you. I couldn't find it deep in my heart, until the day after, when I talked to you, when you told me what you were going through, when I talked to Sophia, and the feeling was the same, but the feedback mechanisms from you guys were different. You were telling me what you were struggling with. Sophia was telling me, you know, I had some... I said, are you doing okay? She said, I think our relationship is changing a little. She had told me that via text on another call, and then I said, why do you think that? But the conversation kept going without getting into details. I asked how she was doing financially, and she's like, okay, I pay for my eye doctor, I pay for this and that, and you know, between the guilt of what seeing you, where you are financially, and what she told me that she was taking care of, I started writing, I said, well, that's my why. Why couldn't I find it the other day? Because I'm not seeing you guys going through, right? We're not together every day anymore. Well, we were, but it's different. Yeah, but mom, you also have to think, right? Like, let me challenge you a little bit real quick. Okay. Like, what did you, real quick, give me this so I can kind of, like, bounce off of it. What did you end up identifying as your why? Taking care of you guys. Yeah, no, no, I think you should try to re-identify your why. You're not going to like me for that, but let me challenge you. You can challenge me, but I need to process. It's not like a three-combustion. You're, you know, you're resorting back to your original why, because it's comforting, and that's what drove you for so long. And comfort, you know, fucking familiarity is comfortable. And so, because of that, you're like, yeah, wait, oh, they're struggling a bit, but this is our why. But you know, mom, you didn't raise two dipshits who were just going to fucking go broke or, you know, you know, go and become drug addicts or fuck ourselves over. Like, you didn't raise those people. You see what I'm saying? I know them. Right. And so... Even though you put me on the edge of thinking that that was the case. Shit, yeah, fuck, but we're not there, right? We're here. But so, what I'm saying is, I don't think you should just resort back to the why that made you feel the way it always did. Because, like, at some point, that's not going to be your why. Like, at some point, like, I promise you, I'm going to be good. Like, and you know that, right? But at the end of the day, like, Sophia, she's going to be good. And you know that, but in the back of your mind, you're like, but they're not good right now, so I need to work on me right now so I can provide for them right now. No. It's just, you were like, you got it, you were looking for a quick answer, you got one. You see what I'm saying? Like, we're going to be okay. Think about it this way. Identify, like, I'm not saying this should be your why, but it should be the question that starts the thought process of finding out your why. What do you want to leave for the world, Bob? You've left two great kids, right? When you die on that deathbed, me and Sophia have to sit there at that funeral. What do you want us to say you were, you did, what you were remembered for? Who would come up, right? What do you want to help, what do you want to tell them? I think that I have to do a conversation for another time. No, no, no. I don't want the answer to it. I'm kick-starting your think tank. Those are the questions you need to ask, right? And then once you start identifying those, you can find your whys. And once you find your whys, then you will be pushed and driven to go and do more and produce more. And then whatever comes of that, right? Let's say you go start, like, let's just add a hypothetical or an imaginary, you know, bit of context to the situation. Let's just say you start an AI empire that fucking cures cancer. Okay. Okay. Crazy example, but let's say that you find the cure to cancer, mom. Inherently, me and Sophia, we're going to, I don't know why the word's pointing at me. Oh yeah, we're going to adopt that, or like, we're going to inherit that. Like, that legacy will be a part of us because we are an extension of you. You see what I'm saying? So like, instead of making your why, Leon and Sophia, make your why, what Leon and Sophia are like, make your why, what can you leave to this world that me and Sophia can piggyback off of and make greater? But the why shouldn't be us, because whatever you do, we are an extension of you and it will be left to us eventually. You know what I mean? Yeah. So in that case, I don't, I don't think you should say, oh, Leon and Sophia and their struggles currently in supporting them and making sure they can survive is my worry. Cause me and Sophia are going to survive mom. Sophia has Ashlyn, Ashlyn has her parents. She has all her friends. I got people here. Like, I don't know. Hey, I don't like to think of my people. No, no, I know mom, but you know what, you know what mom, like at the end of the day, we, mom, you did your fucking job. I'll, I'll give you that. Like, like, don't get me wrong. Is there a lot of kids right now who are still getting help from their parents? Yeah. But then like, let's talk about Zach, for example, I haven't really told you, but Zach and I've been working together again, pretty closely. You told me yes. Oh yeah. Um, but like Zach never got shit from his parents ever from the day he was 18, really 16. He bought his own car and paid for everything after that. Every ticket, everything. No one said his parents abandoned him. When, when, when Zach would, you know, have other people's parents help him out in any way, nobody fucking looked down on his dad for doing that. Don't look down on his mom. I don't care about people looking down on me. I care about how you guys feel about the, the, the possibilities that you have in life. I don't want to be real. You gave us everything and any problems that like you, like any problems that came into me and Sophia's life was self-inflicted or like most of me was self-inflicted. Sophia, maybe her health issues. Other than that, she was a good kid. Didn't really bring any problems on. Right. Right. And so like, I don't, you're just, you mom, you ended up in a position that isn't, you know, the most favorable for sure. But at the end of the day, like at some point, the lessons that me and Sophia are learning now, we're going to have to learn one way or another. They're like, realistically, we were going to have to learn one way or another. We're going to have to learn how to get by. We're going to have to learn how to, you know, spend our money wiser. We're going to have to learn how to fucking take out a salary, salary loan or fucking, you know, pay our bill. That's just basic shit that people have to learn. It's a little harder now because, yeah, like we're doing it full-fledged on our own. But like even people like all the economies, this and that, but I know servers who are paying their bills and going to Thailand, you know, every fucking six months. Like I personally know like a girl who is literally just a bartender at like a dive bar, doesn't do really shit else for money. She just works hella hours and she travels like four times a year. All her bills are paid. She's good. Well, I raised her in Seattle as a waitress. That's what I'm saying. Like people, like people, like, like all I'm saying mom is like these lessons Sophia and I were going to have to learn. So back to the theme of what we're talking about. Right. Your why, right. Start asking yourself what you want to leave to the world. When, when, what do you, what impact do you want to have? Because your kids already have, leave, you know, a Bluetooth impact of you. You know what I mean? Like, like every person that interacts with me and Sophia interacts with you, kids you raised, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So, so don't worry about us. Like worrying about us is only going to allow you to survive at a cap of making sure we're okay. If you want to see, if you want to thrive with no cap, right, you have to think bigger than just making sure we're okay. We're going to be okay. You know what I'm saying? Yes. But go and try and shoot for something greater. Like, I know I'm going to be okay. So I'm still going to shoot for something greater. I'm not going to sit here and fucking mope and blah, blah, you know, but yeah, like, you know, I think, I think I take a lot of things very seriously and whenever it's time to act upon them, but in the overall grand scheme of things, like just fucking just pursue greatness, mom, and everything will figure itself out. You know what I mean? Like pursue greatness and I promise you everything will work itself out. Everything will be okay. You know, we, and as time goes on, we'll learn more about ourselves. We'll learn more about our loved ones. We'll, we'll grow. We'll get back up. We'll fail. We'll win. It's just the process of life. You know, and honestly, if you don't mind me jumping in, it's, it's when I was in my last job, as you know, you know, traveling all over Europe in business class and not worried about money at all. I found other problems to worry about. And it's almost like I is self-insisted, right? And, and for me that they were, I needed to speak up for the people in corporate that didn't have, that couldn't, I need, I need it. And then I say, you know, I'm fucking, I'm out of here because corporate sucks and I'm going to do something on my own. And then the problem became real because it became money. And then it's like, okay, but I don't even have time to think about helping people now because my oxygen mask is gone. Meaning the tool, because again, the tool does not bring you happiness. Because if it did, I would have to stay in my job. You know, I would be happy. You understand what I'm saying? But it brought me, it brought me freedom to come and go and to tell myself, you know what, if I want to drink every night and I still perform, I can, because I can't, cause I can do whatever I want. And I obviously did not know how to use that power wisely because there was not what my heart wanted for me as a mission. But then now I'm in the flip side saying, holy shit. I mean, what if, what if I run out of money? Let me, let me give you an interesting thing to sit on with everything we said, but I do have to go. I want to finish my work day strong and my phone battery as well. Okay. So you gained some power in your life and then you mismanaged it like a motherfucker, right? Like, let's just leave it at that. Can you repeat that? You gained some power in your life and you mismanaged it like a motherfucker, right? I mismanaged it. Yeah. I didn't invest. I didn't, I just, okay. Cool. Acceptance. That's good. That's okay to live it. So now let's think about it like this. Maybe you weren't meant to still have that same power right now because I'm sure of that. Well, because you were not the person that was capable of managing and obtaining power at a high level. Um, yet, but now you've, you know, I'm not going to say you've got, you've digressed, but you have, you have been humbled a lot and you are in a whole new phase of life, right? And in your future, there may be potential for you to gain even more power, more influence, more inspiration over people and over systems and over companies, um, right in the future. But before you can do that, you have to go through what you're going through right now, which is learning, right? Nothing changes. Nothing changes. Yes, ma'am. Things are fun. I know you have to go. Um, I love you. Love you too, mama. Bye-bye. Bye.