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The speaker reflects on their journey as a believer in Christ. They acknowledge that being a believer does not protect them from the troubles of the world. They discuss the casting of lots to elect the Messiah and the languages spoken on the day of Pentecost. They question why they sometimes feel led to speak in unknown sounds and wonder if it is a language understood only by God. They express their desire to be led by the Holy Spirit and not their own understanding. They describe a bubbling up inside that needs to be expressed vocally. They acknowledge their dependence on the Holy Spirit and the power it brings. They mention Peter and the spreading of the word of God through his church. They recognize the limited understanding of God's mind and the fleeting nature of this world. They emphasize their belief in the promise of God's unfailing word despite their own failures and doubts. Welcome to the journey of a flawed believer. When we start our journey with Christ there is a zeal and a belief that is so strong you believe yourself to be absolutely invincible. But being a believer does not shield you from the world and its troubles, it is there to help carry you through those times, knowing that your reward lies not here, but in the eternity and everlasting presence of Almighty God. Thursday 27 April 2023 Acts 1 verse 26 They cast their lots This means that they voted to elect Messiah. Later on in Acts we read about the day of Pentecost. The languages on the day of Pentecost were actual languages that were understood by foreigners. They were not random ramblings of an unknown sound. So, Abba, why then do I feel, Your Holy Spirit, am I led to speak in sounds I do not understand? Do you understand this? Are they the utterances of my soul in a language you alone are able to understand? I don't want to stop because of my reason. My understanding of your ways are so inept and minute as a piece of dust on a breeze. If it is by your will alone and with the guidance of your Holy Spirit, lead me as you will. Help me to continue if that is your will. Or if it is not from you, my dear Holy Spirit, stop me. The only way I can describe it is a bubbling up from my inside that needs to be let out vocally. It is not cerebral, but I do not want to grieve you or offend my friend the Holy Spirit by being disobedient nor by being led by my own emotions or thoughts. I can do nothing without you, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me by the power of the Holy Spirit, the same power that raised Christ from the dead. That same Holy Spirit is in me who helped Peter start and spread the word of God through his church. Who can understand the mind of God but the Spirit? I foresaw the Lord always before my face, for He is at my right hand, that I may not be shaken. One day this place will pass away and all that will be left is Him. As believers we falter. This world is harsh, hard and evil, but we know the fight of this world and hold on to the promise of His unfailing word. This is my story of triumph and failure, triumph and unbelief, the truth according to the gospel of me, a flawed believer.