Meet the crew

The first episode of a podcast called Bad Work Friends discusses various "would you rather" scenarios. The hosts debate whether they would rather see into the future or the past, walk in on their parents or have their parents walk in on them, meet deceased loved ones or future grandchildren, change the outcome of the last election or decide the outcome of the next, speak any language or communicate with animals, detect lies or get away with lies, be the funniest or smartest person in a room, have fortune or fame, visit the International Space Station or a hotel at the bottom of the ocean, start a colony on another planet or be the leader of a country on Earth, have an obsessive person love or hate them, have an extra arm or an extra leg, and observe dinosaurs or visit another planet or moon. This is the first episode of Bad Work Friends, it's me Farmer joined by H-Dawg and the other guy. To get our podcast rolling we're going to do a would you rather to get to know a little bit about each person, or not, who knows, and we're going to start out with the first question. So, would you rather see 10 minutes into the future or 150 years into the future? 10 minutes. Why 10 minutes, Haley? Because I'm not going to be alive in 150 years, so it's not going to matter to me. That's selfish. Maybe. Obviously 10 minutes. I think I would go 150 years. Why? Would you not like to never get pulled over again? Would you not like to never get caught doing something embarrassing? I think there's a lot of benefits to seeing 10 minutes, but just looking at the past 150 years and how far we've come technologically. In 150 years, I mean, we could be, it would just be amazing to see, I think. Where you can see a radiation mess and go crazy because you know that everyone's going to die. Yeah. It's like, oh, here comes the nuclear war coming. That's a good one. I like that one. All right, next question. Would you rather walk in on your parents or have your parents walk in on you during the third? Haley? Oh, this is a hard one. Probably walk in on me because I don't want to see them. That's fair. Michael? I feel like getting on your parents would be too awkward otherwise. I mean, they'd both be awkward, but yeah. Fair enough. My parents have only had sex five times. Whatever makes you sleep at night. What would you rather do? Roger? Have my parents walk in on me. See, my parents already know everything that goes on. I believe that. Would you rather go back to the past and meet loved ones who have passed away or go to the future to meet your grandchildren-to-be? Grandchildren. Why? Because I love kids. You just totally talked over me. Remember we said we were not going to do this? I do remember that, yes. All right, Michael, why do you want to, what did you say? Pass? There are some people that I miss. Yeah. That's fair. Like, I'd really like to go back, see my cousin who died, see my grandparents. Yeah, I can, I totally get that. Haley? You'd rather go to the future? Yeah, because I mean, I love kids. And I've already met the other people, so now I can meet more of my family. That's fair. You know, I think I'd rather go to the future, too. There's a lot of people I miss and a lot of people I'd like to go back and talk to again, but seeing your future generations I think would be pretty cool. All right, next one we're going to go political. Would you rather change the outcome of the last election or decide the outcome of the next election? That's coming up pretty soon. That's coming up pretty soon. Then I'd rather change the next one. Same. Biden's presidency is full of too many gas to not be funny. Right. That's a good point. What about you? I think decide the outcome of the next election. And it wouldn't be any of the people that are running. It'd be me. That would be scary. I'd vote for you, Roger. Thank you. I wouldn't. We wouldn't get this thing done, and that would be perfect. If the government shut down for four years, perfect. We're just going to take a four-year-long break. It's fine. You guys figure your own shit out. Next question, would you rather speak any language or be able to communicate with animals? Animals. Wait, does that speak every language or animals? Do you just get to choose one or them all? Rewind. Are you talking, like, which animals you can talk to? No, like, do you get to speak Spanish or do you get to speak with anyone in the world? Anyone in the world. Any and all languages. I don't know why I asked. I'd still choose animals. I was going to say, They've got Google Translate that you can learn a language if you actually try. Communicate with animals would be just amazing. Or not. I don't know. I can still tell my dog to sit. Yeah, I love animals more than people, so. Well, that's fair. That makes sense. You ever wonder if, like, animals have different accents from different countries? Like, do the dogs bark in different... Because they do. That's weird. How do you know that? They've done studies on, like, like, dogs barking in different cities have different, like, patterns and, like, I don't know the details, but they've done studies on different animals where they communicate slightly different. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I didn't know that. This is going on the Internet, so probably everything I say is wrong. Don't trust it. Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. You'll be called out if you're wrong. The Internet's good at that. It is true. All right, next question. Would you rather detect every lie you hear or get away with every lie you tell? Get away with every lie I tell. Right now you suck at lying, Hayley. I know. I already can tell when people lie, so I don't need that. I think she's the same. Get away with every lie. Sure you do. I don't want to know how often people are lying to me. That would just make me sad. Roger lies to you every day. No, Michael, it's big. I know, and I don't want to think about it. Oh, don't worry. You'll have an easy job today. Nope. You know, I think I'd probably go with the get away with every lie also. Yeah, just get pulled over or whatever. No, officer, I wasn't speeding. Then you can get away with all your murders. Oh, yeah. I mean, what murders? Just the first unanimous decision. I think so. Or not. The Internet will tell us. Ah, so would you rather be the funniest person in a room or the smartest person in a room? The funniest. Well, right now I'm both. Not in this room. Got him. I feel like people don't like other people that are too smart. I feel like the funniest person is the right choice, too. I don't really care about smarts, but I like to make people laugh, so I'd rather be the funniest. You make people laugh? You make people laugh in the meanest way. That's true. I make myself laugh at other people's expenses. You laugh so hard when it's not even funny. That's true. All right, would you rather have fortune or fame? Fortune. Fame. Yeah, 100%. I don't like large groups of people that much anyway, so. I would not want to be famous. What was that, Ailey? If you're fame, aren't you fortune, too? Not necessarily. If you have fame and can't make a fortune, that's on you, but I'd rather just not have fame. Yeah, I don't like people either. I don't want to deal with it. Right. So would you rather visit the International Space Station for a week or spend a week in a hotel at the bottom of the ocean? The hotel in the bottom of the ocean. What about you, Margo? Space station, definitely. Well, you didn't hear what happened to the new Titanic? No. This year? Yeah, they had, like, a submersible that collapsed going down to the sea of the Titanic. Yeah. There was, what, four people on board that? Yeah, they were rich. Plus, at the bottom of the ocean, it's cold. You can't see anything. It's all dark. Space station, you get to see the Earth, you get weightlessness, you get all of these things. Right. Well, you have to go around the disk. Yeah. It's like a plate. It's still flat. It can still circle, but it's flat. I think I'd also do the space station one, just because I think it'd be more unique. I'm not a huge space person. I'd rather do the ocean. Good, because you won't have much space at the bottom of the ocean. Oh, yeah. Cramp. All right. Would you rather start a colony on another planet or be the leader of a country on Earth? Leader of a country on Earth. I feel like going to another planet would be miserable. I think so, too. Down the opposite. If I could go to another planet, see all new things, I would take that in heart. I think that'd be a lot more exciting. I could see that, too. It would be more exciting, but not for me. All right. Would you rather have an obsessive, insane person love you or hate you? Love me, because I cannot stand people that hate me. Like, even when people hate me, I will turn it around so we forgive each other. What about you, Michael? I'd say love me, but more because I feel like someone hating you is going to be scarier. Like, I'm going to die. You know, that's kind of what I was looking at, too, when I was putting these questions together. If they're obsessive, insane, and they hate you, they're pretty much just out to kill you at that point. So you would pick that one? Yeah. I think it'd be more fun. That's why a farmer's always strapped. I don't think either one's a good choice. Would you rather have an extra arm or an extra leg? Arm. Why? I can do more stuff with my arms. That's fair. Michael? Speaking for all guys, I've already got an extra leg. I saw that one coming. You're one of the funniest guys here. But, in all seriousness, an extra arm. You know how many times I've needed an extra hand to hold something? That's true. I think an extra arm would be the most common answer. But if you could run faster or longer with an extra leg somehow, and I don't know how that would work with three legs, but if that was a thing that made you run faster or longer distance or something like that, I could see that being beneficial, too. You don't even run. When was the last time you ran? It's fine. All right, this is a long one. Would you rather spend an hour going back in time to observe dinosaurs, or would you want to spend an hour on another planet or moon? Dinosaurs. I've always wanted to see a dinosaur. I agree. That's fair. I don't know. There's not really a follow-up question for that one. I think I'd rather go to a different planet. Why? Because you're going to see stuff that you've never seen before, never learned about in history books or anything like that. It's going to be 100% new. Makes sense. Yeah, but it'd also be interesting to see how much they actually got right about dinosaurs. That's true, because that's always something I've wondered is how accurate their descriptions are. Well, either one would be good, I think. Would you rather know how you die or when you die? I feel like I'd freak out if I knew when, because that day is coming. But if I knew how I would die, I'd try to stay away from that reason. I'd rather not know either, to be honest. You've got to pick one. I'd rather know how I die. Yeah, I can't anticipate the day. That would freak me out. If you knew you'd die in 10 years, what's to stop you from driving 120 and then you accidentally kill someone else? Oh shit, my bad. I feel like it's not a good time. See, I'd rather know when, because if it's 50 years down the road or 5 years down the road, you know when it's going to happen. If you know how you're going to die, but not when, let's say you're going to die by car accident, are you ever going to get in a car again? Or are you going to be too scared to drive a car? That's what I was thinking, too. But I was thinking about falling down stairs and dying, because someone wants to push me down stairs. Right, like falling down stairs is the cause of death. You are never going to go up or down stairs again, and there are a lot of buildings that have stairs. I guess they won't be working anymore. What happens when there's only 5 days left and you're like, dang, I'm healthy, everything's looking great. What's going to happen? You're going to be nervous. You're going to be like, I don't know. It also gives you a chance, though, to complete your bucket list. If it's going to be 50 years, you've got time, you don't have to rush. You can walk up and down stairs. Yeah, you can walk up and down stairs, no problem. Or if it's like in a year, then it's like, oh shit, okay. I've got enough money in the bank for a year, I quit, do my bucket list, and die happy. Smoke a bunch of weed the day before, and that's better. I think you guys made the right choice. I probably made the wrong one. I'm pretty sure you both said, so how do you die? I said how. Oh. Okay, then Roger made the right choice. Kaylee, you said. Sure do. I'm trying, okay? All right. Last question of the episode. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? One horse-sized duck. Okay, before you answer why, I want to hear Michael's. Yeah, one horse-sized duck. So you're both going with a one horse-sized duck. We lost Michael. Yep. You made it back. Sorry, my internet must have. Took a poo? Yeah, so I just. All right, let's go. All right, would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? One horse-sized duck. Definitely. Roger? 100 duck-sized horses. Why? Because, although that's a lot, they're yay big and you can, like, throw them and kick them and stomp on them. That is not the size of a duck. A duck. Have you seen the size of a horse? Yes. Do you know how strong ducks are? It still has the composition of a duck. Ducks, if you grab their neck, they're done. Not if they're the size of the horse. Yes. They will peck you and eat you. No, that's why you grab the neck. They can't peck you. I don't think so. They've also got teeth. So do horses. Yeah. But a little horse, tiny little horse that you step on and it's dead. If you just step on it, it will be dead. You can just step on a duck. I am going to die on this hill. Yes. Then you guys will not survive a horse-sized duck. It will eat you both. I feel like you have the sizes of duck-sized horses, like, really small. The size of a duck. Yeah, but you're like this size and they're a lot bigger than what you're thinking, I feel like. I feel like that camera angle is not adequate. Yeah. See? A little bigger than my head. Like a five, six, seven pound duck. It's a duck. I have several of them outside. I know how big a duck is. Why did you bring them on the farm, too? You know, I was thinking geese. See? The answer does not change. If it was a goose that was the size of a horse, they would murder you. Duck. A duck, maybe. Okay, I'll give you that. You might survive. I still don't think so, though. Should we find out? Ducks have powerful wings. How are you going to find out? Are you going to genetically create this? Please don't. It'll be like Jurassic Park, but with ducks. It'll be okay. Too preoccupied. You're going to kill them all anyway, so why does it matter? That's fair. It'll be the duckening. All right, that's the end of our episode. Thank you, everybody, for listening. You guys going to say bye? Bye. Bye. Bye.