Day 13

The speaker discusses the importance of goals and recommends a book called "The Power of One More". They talk about the author's personal story and how it relates to their own experiences. The speaker emphasizes the significance of having the right mindset and state of being when setting goals. They explain the importance of having high energy and being in a positive state when making goals. They also discuss the difference between making goals out of scarcity and making them out of ambition. The speaker suggests a technique called the Wonder Woman/Superman stance and a gratitude meditation exercise to help get into a positive state and make goals from that perspective. They also mention the importance of holding oneself accountable and involving loved ones in goal-setting. Okay guys, good morning, good afternoon, or whatever. I'm still not slugging from my favorite podcast, but today I want to talk about goals. I'm super excited about this. I'm sure you can hear the energy here because goals are super important to me. I'm very goal-driven and honestly more results-driven in the past few years. But that being said, I have a very particular book which I'd recommend to anybody that just wants to change a few things and wants to start small. But this book is called The Power of One More, and I finished this on the flight to Canada right before I surprised Harmony, like, hey, I'm here. But this book is absolutely freaking huge, and I'm not talking about huge in size here. It's really one of the best books that I was able to connect with. There's a similar effect in here that I was really able to connect just because, I'm not going to spoil anything, but the author, Ed Milet, he lost his father to a terminal illness that rather happened out of nowhere. And I haven't lost my father just yet, but I connect just because of the ALS thing. And so it was really a sort of opportunity and rather excuse that I could use to dive further into this more than I normally would. But this book talks about so many different principles that are just essential for changing your life, and I know many books do this, right? But I'm being very serious here. This information was so easy to read and rather so easy to take in. It starts off with talking about identity, one more identity. And a big thing in this book, when it says one more, it doesn't physically mean one more. It means the aspect of doing one more. That feeling of doing one more rep in the gym. That effect you get of doing one more try. Giving it one last chance. I can go on and on for ages about this, but that was the entire driving force of why I went to Canada on a fucking dime, because I needed to give it one more fucking try. And I'm not going to live with any sort of what-ifs, respectfully. But in this, it talks a lot about state, and what we're going to be talking about is goals here. So, there's a few things that play a part in making goals, and one of which is energy, which is where I want to start here. So when I started out this episode, I started with a lot more upbeat and just passionate energy, because I really am, and it was authentic. And when you go with your goals, there's a few goals that people make, and there's a huge thing for anyone that's looked at podcasts, even looked up online how to make goals. You'll see people categorize them in like a million different sets, and that's not the point. A huge thing about making goals, keep it fucking simple. It's not rocket science. And you're supposed to be able to feed it into your head that it's actually coherent, that you can understand it, and that you can tell somebody else without stuttering a million times. But yeah, back to that energy. So, when we're in certain states, aka we are extremely happy, we're happy because we just broke through the business, our mom's getting better, we're doing great in the gym. I don't know what to put here, but you know that feeling of being happy when shit just goes right. And you also know, when you focus on certain thoughts, like your mom dying, your dad passing, shit, you lost your car, shit got stolen from you, like it's an awful feeling. And I can only talk briefly about this, because not much of this has happened, but what I'm getting at is the second you think about those thoughts, you go into that state. And when you're making goals, there's two types of goals that people make, and it all relies on the state that you're in. If you're in an extremely horrible spot, where you are running low on money, you're in a shady position with your family, friends, whoever, you've burned a few bridges, you're about to lose your job. There are so many things on the line, and when you make those goals, a lot of times it's making the goals out of scarcity. And that's a huge thing that I want to avoid here. You are not going to make goals out of complete scarcity, you're not going to make goals out of complete anguish. There's a difference between making goals out of anguish and ambition. So, don't get me wrong, when you have goals that are rather demand, that is amazing, but you have to always address why you want these goals, why these goals need to happen for you. A lot of times people, and I quote here, need a goal to happen for somebody else. They need a goal to happen because someone else wants it to happen. And what I'm trying to get at here is that you have to need that goal for yourself. You have to want to do it yourself. So, when making these goals, the other part, which is what I really want to talk about here, is when you have that high energy state, that gratitude, that complete excitement, that just being amazed and everything, that state of wonder. When you make goals out of that, just be like, okay, what can I actually do? Who can I become? You begin to see stuff in a different perspective, and that's what these whole pockets is about, a matter of perspective. When you start to make these goals, I want you just to take literally 5-10 minutes, that is it. And there's a podcast that helps with this on Motive 8, which some of you guys might have already heard of that, but I'll send a link in the description here. Tony Robbins is a huge dude on just state. The state that you're in controls your thoughts, your thoughts control your actions, your actions control your life. And when he talks about that, he has this little exercise, which we can all do, but you go into this Wonder Woman, Wonder Man, or Superman stance, and all you do is sit here, breathe deep, with your hands on your hips, standing up like you have a cape. And for 10 minutes, that is it. Just 10 straight minutes. And one, testosterone goes up, two, your breathing increases, and you're more likely to take actions than you wouldn't prior. And he does a little process in this, which is his gratitude meditation, his daily routine. What he does, he thinks of three things that literally imbue him with gratitude. Three magical moments, three core memories that just made him feel incredibly grateful. For me, it was, honestly, the day that I got my GED, it was coming home after I crashed my car at Harlem Newsletter, just to give me the biggest hug in the world. It was, I'm kind of thinking of stuff on the spot here, but when I go into those states, I'm just feeling completely grateful. And you guys know exactly what I'm talking about here, when you are nothing but grateful. You know how grateful I was when I came back from the freaking Tony Robbins event, spending every last dime that I had? That was the best moment of my freaking life. I was a kid inside, but God, I felt like a freaking champion. And that's a whole feeling of like, yeah, this is exactly what you need to make goals out of. And I kid you not, this takes literally 10 minutes. But all you do, stand up, and you can do this even laying back in that stretched out position. But stand up, like you have a cape on your back, back straight, shoulders back, and then hands on your hips, and just breathe deep. Close your eyes and breathe deep for just 10 straight minutes and think about what makes you truly grateful. Grateful, excited, what are those two emotions? And just let your body fully engrossed in that. What does it feel like? What happened to your face, right? You're a little kid. What happens to your face when you feel incredibly happy? You smile, right? You can't hide it. That's what you want to go into. Now, while you're in this state, you're going to be making your goals. And if you want to do it now, go ahead and grab a pen and paper or pencil, whatever you have. And just start writing down, out of this state, what is it that you want? What is it that you want to become? What is it that would really just set you up? And I'm not going to lie, you want to get multiple pieces of paper here because the first initial things you're going to say are a complete and utter bullshit. I'll be honest. It's the initial precautions. I'm not exactly using the right words there, but when you get down to that core value, especially in that state, it is so clear what you would love, what would really set you forward. Like, do you want to make more money? Do you want to read more books? Do you want to have a more loving relationship? For me, I want all of those. Just saying. But there's also a huge thing about this. We're going into these states because as much as we can sit here and write these goals down, we have to be able to connect emotion to the goals. Now, once you have this goal written down, what I want you to do is really think about three, four, or five people. And you can do this physically, which I would highly recommend, but you go to them and promise them and tell them exactly what you're going to be doing. Have them keep you accountable. There's a certain power that many people don't discuss, that when you hold yourself accountable to other people, other loved ones, it brings an extra level of pressure that might be needed. For example, if you sit there and break promises to yourself, but you don't break promises to your mom, you tell this goal to your mom. And now, instead of just breaking the promise to yourself, you'd be breaking the promise to your mom, breaking the promise to your wife, breaking the promise to your dad, whoever, your best friend. And I'm not going to go on a huge tangent here, but in regards to connecting your thoughts with emotion, this is the biggest way we remember them to. So not only making this goal and attaching emotion to it, just the overall feeling and what it's going to provide. For me, I have reasons bigger than myself because it's all around people that I deeply love and care about. It's for my father, my mother, my little sister, my big sister, and Harmony. That whole thing happened. There's so many things here that it's not just about me getting out of bed. It's not about my own personal pride and line, but I have to do these things for these people because if I don't, no one is. And not only that, I can't turn around and look them down the eye and say, I couldn't do it. I didn't do it because I didn't want to. I couldn't do it because I didn't get out of bed that day. I'm sure you guys understand this because there's a certain level of power that has. Some of you were raised with a mom that would slap you upside the head if you didn't finish something. I just kind of got that mentality over the years because no one really told me what was wrong or no one really hit me upside the head or anything. But I could definitely see for myself what was wrong and what caused it. So I got plenty of the backlash from life itself. But back on track here with these goals and once you attach that emotion, those bigger reasons to it. What you're going to be doing is writing it out into a script. And this is going to be, and I mean authentically here, this is 100% a script. This is what you're going to be telling yourself each and every morning. This is what you're going to read to yourself at bed. And it could be five minutes, it could be three minutes, it could be whatever. But you have to be able to rehearse it, rehearse it, rehearse it, just on repeat as much as you possibly can. We're going to be using our RAS, which is a huge thing that many people don't do with their goals. Because we can write these goals and we can attach emotion to it. But if we don't constantly repeat it and keep refreshing our mind with it, then it's just going to fade away. The whole thing I learned about UL's placebo with that book from Dr. Joe Dispenza is that to not only make new habits, we have to connect new neurons. And not only that, we have to sustain them. And sustain them, we keep refreshing our mind with those thoughts to keep making those new connections. That's how we retain a memory. That's how we lose something else to gain something else. Have you ever heard that phrase, especially from Uber Eats commercial right now, that you have to forget something to remember something else, right? It's the same exact thing. And that's also what it is for me, as I talked to you a few episodes ago, that it's so weird to have these new habits and have these new goals and have these new experiences. Because I'm literally retraining my mind. And when you have goals that you actually want to accomplish here and you have reasons to do so, you have to do this exact same thing. Where you're not only rehearsing it, but you're repeating it day in and day out. To where you cannot think about anything else. You have to live, breathe, eat, sleep that freaking dream. And the hugest thing that many people look over here, you do not need to know a how. You do not need to know a how. You need to know that you're going to get it and you need to know that you have to get it. You know your reasons and what's going to make you, what's going to get you out of bed. And a lot of times the how will come. I want to make this very clear guys. For someone that was literally making $800 a week and paying, I think it was $1000 of that. How do I say this? I was making $1600 every two weeks and $1000 of that every time was going to rent. And then about $200 of that was going to marijuana and whatever alcohol. And for someone that was doing that constantly, taking about $200 each month to just do whatever with. The idea of going to fucking Florida for a Tony Robbins event, buy a hotel, buy the plane ticket, and actually stay there for a few days, get food, get transportation, and have this amazing event while taking off work and not being fucked financially. I was so just terrified. And when I made this goal, it was not just a simple, it was not just a simple dream. I had a deadline for this and in full honesty the reason it was bigger than myself in that moment was that if I didn't go and fucking do that, I would have stayed as a freaking drone. I would have stayed fat. I would have just drank myself and I honestly smoked myself to death. Like it was such a horrible mental state. I hated myself. I hated myself. I hated every second of that. And that was the biggest thing because I knew in the back of my mind that there is so much more for me. Like I cannot stand this. And that's right when I started the personal development stuff. And it was one of the biggest changes there because like I said, how insane it felt that I had zero money. I literally had like $20 to my name when I decided I have to do this. And that's the hugest thing I want to talk about here. You have to decide. You have to decide that you want it and you're going to fucking get it. If you don't decide, then it's not worth it. I'll be honest, it's not at all worth it. It's not worth the pain, struggle, whatever it's going to be. There's no point. And a lot of motivational speakers, a lot of coaches will tell you the exact same thing. If you don't want it, we're done trying. And another thing with these goals and these dreams here, you don't only have to want it. You have to know when you want it. Because wanting something is entirely different from knowing when you want it. Because that puts a deadline on you and a deadline on the actual RAS. It allows you to kick in a faster position, a sense of urgency per se. So one, defining what you want. Two, attaching emotion to it. Three, using that RAS, aka repeating it, but to then use your RAS subconsciously to see different opportunities for you. And then four, making that deadline to know when you were going to have this. My deadline for the Tony Robbins event was that I was going to fucking be there the week before. I was going to be there on November 3rd. It was the 3rd to the 8th. That was the entire event span and I was going to be there on the 3rd no matter what. That was my deadline. I don't know how the fuck I was going to do it. And dude, the amount of things that went into play there are ridiculous. I want to express this. There is no logical freaking reason any of that should have ever worked. I literally went there with plenty of... Like I didn't get the flight until a week before the actual flight. I did not buy any ticket until a week before I had to be there. I didn't buy a hotel before three days I had to be there. And those flights and those tickets were a total of $150. So $100 for a night. It was $50 for the freaking mistake flight which is one in a million. Going to Florida and back around $50 is insane. And um... Yeah, I found out the week prior. I want to express this. The week prior. That does not happen. But that was the biggest thing there. I didn't know how I was going to do it. I just knew that I had to do it. And things started falling in place. That's really the magical power I'm talking about here. With a lot of your goals and a lot of your dreams here, you have to set yourself up for success. And I truly believe that setting yourself up for success with these steps is exactly how you're going to be able to do it. So, yeah. If you guys have found a paper, I would love for you guys to start. And honestly, this is for you. It's not even for me. I need to actually... I'm going to go back through this episode and go through the process myself again just to rehearse and rather edit my goals. But remember, get into that state. That state of gratitude. That state of excitement. Make your goals out of that state. What is it that you want when you're in that state? And if you do know a how, that's completely fine. But remember, you do not have to know a how. You do not have to know exactly which steps you're going to take. And it's... As long as you know you want it, as long as you have the energy attached with it, as long as you have the overall drive and commitment to yourself and other people, then you will get it done. But, yeah. That was me talking about goals. I hope you guys enjoyed. Let me know if you have any questions or really any advice here. I am always looking for options how to improve this podcast better. I know for starters, I get the music back. I'm working on that. But, yeah. I hope you guys all really enjoyed. Have an amazing rest of your day. And I will see you guys next time.