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Transcription
The transcription is about a mother discussing her experiences with her child's special needs in the education system. She talks about the challenges she faced in getting her child diagnosed and the lack of support from social services. She emphasizes the importance of knowing and implementing the child's education, health, and care plan (EHT) and highlights the need for parents to be aware of their rights. The mother also mentions her advocacy work and recommends a self-parent advocacy course. She mentions the difference it has made in her interactions with the school and her child's progress. Today I'm going to be having a brief discussion with a mother whose child's special needs and what her experience, lived experiences are in the education system, what are some of the challenges she finds, the support that may be necessary, and what she thinks of that, and any message she has for other parents, parents from black backgrounds in the United Kingdom. So, I'm going to let her introduce herself, and then we have her mother. And how old is your child? And they're all in the education system? And as you know, it's usually a challenge to even identify what are some of the issues. What was the process for the experience of getting a tag, if they're already present? The process for my, before, they weren't very, I didn't find it very helpful, I had to write a submission from 2011, a unanimous application to TAM, and in Stenco, I found it wasn't very helpful. So I got a EHT, which is called a patient health care transfer, without diagnosis, then I applied for my son to get diagnosed, and lost the paper, then I did another one in 2015, and in Stenco, which was a new section, which was writing a completely different mark from the mark I was writing, so we weren't using, I also found that they had a high turnover of Stencos when they're diagnosed. While trying to get my son diagnosed, I noticed that they were doing a tactic where they get to call in social services, so when social services got involved, they never told social services, I was a standing parent, and my child has challenging behavioural issues, all that, I was suspecting my child was autistic. So when social services got involved, and I explained to them that I need my son diagnosed, I also needed help with accommodation, because I didn't want to mess with the kids, I didn't find them very helpful, I found them very nosy, there was only one social worker that I originally helped with, which she was very supportive, but she was a step down from social services, she was a great solution, she helped me with the EHT plan process. Okay, and the justification for calling social services was behavioural issues, which obviously are legal? No, they actually did a slight thing, so they used an organisation called Corner House, or you could have called, the whole time we were there, they were actually watching your child, and that they did a referral to social services, they must have done a referral first of all, because I really had to use their service for a lot of things when I got here, I've already been to social services, so that was on the 17th, by June, June the 16th I think it was, social services called again, the people had done a referral, and they asked me to mention them for social services, and I didn't see them straight away, I knew they were there, so I got back to the school one day, and there was social services and the police were at the school, the social services now got involved, and there was a white social worker, who was quite aggressive, quite rude, so he got in contact with the police, who was a black social worker, who couldn't be at any school like that, my service school wasn't necessary, they then started saying that they couldn't let me help my children because my house was on the street, so I told them that they should help me with housing, they didn't, so they sent me to some child protection investigation, and they did the investigation, we went to the panel, and in front of the children and youth plan, the children and youth plan went on from November 2018 to July 2018, and I never got anything out of it, so they said they didn't have interest in what was agreed, they were going to help me get my son diagnosed, I had to do all of that myself, and I'm still fighting housing right now, after having all these helpful social care people in my business over the years. So there's a whole range of intersectional issues, actually I, from one of the reports I read about you and that, I've seen an experience of that, but in terms of education itself, so when you finally go for the diagnosis. I couldn't meet my son for me, the SEDCO was quite lethargic, he's ended up now, they got rid of him, they had a new lady come last year, she didn't stay for long, she started in January, by October she was gone, they've got a new SEDCO right now, what the problem is, they're not actually implementing the EHT plan, if they were implementing the EHT plan there wouldn't be a problem, and for me, SDM parents, irrespective of colour, they need to know the content of their child's EHT, they need to know in terms of law, because it's a legally binding document, and by law, the school, and any provision, their child's needs are meant to be implemented. And just as a general comment, just to add to that, all the legal requirements, whether it's the Education Act, the SEDCO, the Equality of Higher Education Act, or the Convention on the Rights of a Child, actually specify the centre of the parent, the parent has to know, just as a, you know, a box-stick net. Yeah, well that's what they basically do. That is, emphasised. So, after the diagnosis, and you were sort of having all the information given, how did you overcome the issue to get to the point where it's getting what it needs to? Well, I started having to do emails, quoting the law, I also sought some advocates, then I started having to, I got to a level where I didn't actually need the advocate service, because obviously I started to now read about legislation and things like that. As a result of me having to advocate for myself, as an SDM parent, I now started advocating for other parents. Right. I've now gone on to do an advocacy course, which I've now passed. And where was that? I did it online. Okay. So, that teaches you how to do tribunals, understand the content of child support, of the Chinese child support, also to understand how to get a report, the one that's given for the tribunal. And I've also learnt about the Convention on the Rights of a Child, which is a subject access request. Yeah. It gives you information about why the child's not getting the support they need, and also provision maps, nothing that the parents need to ask for. It's the provision map, or they call it map provision. This shows the budget of what they're doing with their child in terms of provision. Can you say that again for people who might not be familiar with that? Provision. And what does it... It shows you what the child is doing with their child in terms of provision. Okay. A breakdown, a much more clearer breakdown. Right. So, you can see what they've actually been doing with that. And is that a course that you would recommend for the parents, or... The Self-Parent Advocacy course is a good course. I think it's a good course. It's also good just for you as a parent, just in terms of sourcing knowledge, if you want to do advocacy work, yeah. And just to check that you've really done... When you're putting this to practice, just to check that you are doing it in the correct school. So, I think that's why I did it, because I've been doing it for quite a long time now. It helps quite a few SDM parents out. Does that involve any costs, or the course? The course, yeah. The course is £299. And something like that can be included? Pay off an instalment. Okay. So, parents can get support to pay for the course. I don't think... For some parents, that may be enough. I don't think so. Are you happy to mention an organisation? We can find out. So, you mentioned that you did the course, and you started advocating for yourself. And did you see... Well, I did the course before... I started advocating before I did the course. Oh, okay. But once you were actually involved in advocating, did you see... Was there a tangible difference in terms of how school organisations interact with you, respond to you? So, once you were now aware you had further training, started to get involved, did that make any difference in terms of how to interact with or respond to your request? In terms of my... So, from the time that you started actually practically and forcefully advocating for yourself, and got more and more content, did that make any difference in terms of how the school responded? The school, to be fair, were very wary of me. I was one of the parents, actually. I joined the St. Clement group last year, and I was quite shocked. I was about 30 people. I think I was the only parent that had the annual review every year. Wow. Some of them were crying. They had to have the annual review for about five years, but then their child didn't even go back to the school. It should be a statutory requirement. Yeah, but that's what I mentioned. The St. Clement... And I think that when I asked to join the group, the St. Clement was very hesitant. I didn't understand why, so I joined the group. I did not really like the St. Clement group, to be fair, because they've got a school governor in there. Okay. So it's still part of the school. So not a very safe environment. The other St. Clement still stayed, but I personally came out and formed my own group. Then when the St. Clement governor, the guy who's the St. Clement governor, she was now trying to be nice to me and said, oh, would you like to join their group? And I was like, no. And she told me to open my own group. Okay. And she got upset about that. And I believe it's nothing said. She was the school governor already, the one, and she became a Chelsea resident, and not all the parents are from that borough. Okay. Some of the parents are cross-boroughed, like myself. Yeah. So I didn't feel that she was going to represent all parents. So you then, obviously, you became active as well, and what practical difference has it made now? Well, with me, I feel that my input and my stuff, it has made a difference in terms of my son, how I work with my son. LSA has got a good rapport going now, I would say. She's got a greater understanding. If she's not sure how to work with my son, she emails me. I've just done that, you know, like, she's working in collaboration as well. I felt that the EP that did my son... Yeah. He was very helpful in terms of the provision he put in. He backed up what Cam said, which is children in and out of health services. Yeah. And he was just saying that at school, and at one time, there was a time when I didn't really get on the previous DENCO. He was trying to avoid my email completely, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand why he was avoiding my email until I joined the parents' segment last year, June, and found out that this guy had got to do annual reviews. I was quite shocked. I just thought annual reviews were standards of rank. Everybody did that. Exactly, because they need to know where you're going and how to improve. So I do think, as an SPN parent, it's very good to have SPN parent groups at schools so you see who descends from other SPN parents and know what's going on at school. Because a lot of them, what I find with SPN parents, they tend to be isolated. Yes. I think that there's a group of SPN parents, if you don't know, there might be another SPN parent that might know something. You learn from each other. I think SPN parent groups, WhatsApp groups, I think they're very much needed in schools so that parents can find out what to do and what services are out there. And you said your child was the main principle. Yeah. So there's been this debate, especially among parents that stayed online and sometimes isolation. Mainstream versus special ed. What's your view? My honest view, I'm not really one for special ed schools, but it's saying that my son went to school part-time. In 2021, he went part-time to school. July 2021 up until October 2021. And still remains to this day. My son didn't like the special ed school. But I liked it in one way for my son that he got the shots back. And he was much more appreciative of the LSA and the people that he worked with when he went to the special ed school. When he went back, he now started to be more respectful towards his LSA. So with that respect, I did like it. Why didn't you like it? He thought that he didn't fit in there. And he also didn't like the fact that the doors were closed. You know, that it makes you feel that you're free. But you know, in special ed schools, I don't know about all special ed schools, but this one, you have to use the front to open the door to kind of feel a bit closer to home. Yes, and that kind of triggers... Yes, and I think maybe he just missed his friends. You know, just because that's the way his environment compared to... And why don't you like special ed schools? I don't like special ed schools because I don't think they help children academically. They don't look at the academic side of things. I'm a bit biased. I'm a parent that likes my child's education, like academically. So I find that they also sometimes don't make... See, in mainstream schools, there's rules, isn't there? They have boundaries. So I find that specialist schools nurture as opposed to a mainstream school where, you know, you have a rule. In terms of they have to make more adjustments, but they still have rules. Like, you have to line up in a queue, you know, like certain things I didn't like. And do you think it'll flourish more in a special ed school or a mainstream school? It depends on the child as well because some children do need to be in special ed schools. It depends on the child. It depends on the needs as well. It depends on the needs as well. For me, I don't feel that my child needs to be in a special ed school, so I'm against my child. In saying that, some parents feel that their child doesn't do well in a special ed school and it's down to the parents, it's down to their needs. I personally feel that. For me, I want to say... How can I put it? Like, for me, I can say I see a parent, yeah? My son is a computer. I felt that my son needed more help in making social interactions. My son is a very, very quiet person and he doesn't... He's not going to make friends quickly. He has to be more sociable and he has to make friends. My son is a good kid. He's not the person that will go and start talking to anyone. Right, so he needs an incentive. Yeah. So, I feel that being in a special ed school for my son, I felt that he couldn't cope because he's an academic, so he found the work too easy. Wow, wow. That's good. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie. My son is one that really likes to become wet. In the special ed school, when he went there, he asked the school for more work. So, the LSA called me up and she was laughing. She said, I don't know if it's... He's changed his mood. He's much more polite now. He's more acceptable. I just thought she was really laughing down the phone. Wow. Yeah, so... So, maybe because they, I don't know, they understand the triggers, the complexities of the needs they have, maybe they have for different majors. Yeah, but also as well, in special ed schools, they have more time in terms of speech and language. They have those things on site, where mainstreams, even though it's implemented on the EAC plan, they don't do everything they say they put on the EAC plan, like zone regulation, emotional literacy. So, the special ed schools, we try to put them in on that service. And you say when they have had time, how does that work? So, some days he was going, so like say Tuesday, he went all day to school. Okay. And then Wednesday and then Friday he went to session. So, three days a week, maybe, and then three days a week. And that's a trial phase, or? Just because St. Cohen, my son and me, we were all getting on with it. So, we'd get a little break from each other, but the local authorities suggested that. Where's that? Before we sort of wrap up, obviously a lot of the challenges, especially in school and parents, they tend to affect generally everyone. However, as almost in every area of life, there's a disproportionate impact on blacks as a minority. What was your view on that, how it affects blacks? I think it affects black parents, because as well, some black parents don't like writing emails, and some think as well, I think people should get used to writing. I advise you to read a lot, try and do courses to educate yourself, because once you get parents, it's like a battlefield. You don't know what you're doing. There's some professionals that will try and help you, and there's some professionals that just outrightly will give you bad advice that does not suit your child's needs, doesn't have a clue about your child, and your child will suffer as a result of lack of knowledge. If you don't know about your child, then your child's just going to go and stay in places where they shouldn't really be. This is just my opinion as an SDN parent, and this is just not even about black experience. So, me, as a black individual, I find the professionals, I find they become quite rude, yeah? And then when they're not asking, because I don't like what they're saying, I'm like, oh, can you let me in first, please? And I think I've been aggressive. Yeah, they're trying to tell you the other way around. Yeah. Yeah, so another thing I don't like is, not because you're speaking in Polish, or well-mannered, as they say, but you're being rude. I think that's more insulting and patronising. Yeah. And I find with a lot of professionals, when they don't like what you're telling them, they'll be like, oh, my husband's English, I was telling him when I was out of school, just show him funny enough, and she got her colleagues to come in, and they were trying to be rude, and she didn't tell her colleagues all the stories. So when they were black, they would get involved, and some of them didn't know what was going on, and then I put it out there and said, listen, when we had the last annual review, this is not what you said. People, professionals, I tell you, this lady didn't say that at the last meeting, yeah? We're saying something completely different now, and I've asked you on numerous occasions for the time they've offset my son's LSA, and I'm still waiting, and I didn't meet with one of them, my friend. So when she was trying to lie, my friend had slapped me last week, she said, I have seen the email, so what have you got to say? And she was like, I think now, we need to come to a close, we need to come to a close. And from that day, she's just been avoiding my emails. So I've asked for the slides, I should be getting that any day now. And is there an option to change professionally? Well, the professionals now, they need to get training for conscious bias as well. And why I say this, there was a time last, 2021, my international, my son's school, and they have a sheet to say something, terminology that black people, now my son wasn't taught like that. I know exactly how my son insults, so as soon as they said it, I said to the teacher, I'm not being funny, I don't like that idea that my son's being racially profiled, yeah? And I said to her, my son wouldn't say that, so this one I'm challenging, on that ground. So when they had the parents meeting, that teacher, eventually, my son got something, he didn't say the whole story, it's then that I started, oh, actually, you're the Prime Minister, so I can come and do what I like. Right, right. I said, I said, I'm a British, that's my constitutional right, so I can come and do what I like. I said, for me, you're not, the qualification 2010, you're failing my child. You know, and my answer, oh, can I send that email again? Right, I sent the email back to my son, and this guy was just avoiding it, because I didn't know that, by that time, I wasn't in the parents' group, this parents' group was only formed last year. When I went into the parents' group, I was so shocked at how much parents did the same thing to themselves, their schools. They made a bad press, well, newspapers, well, often, some of these adverts, so it's got this, now, they've got a new person in, a new headmaster came, September, God, he's leaving, they've got another headmaster in, a black headmaster, so we're going to see how this works, and it's funny how, they've got a black person coming, so we're going to see, but me, personally, I just think, as an SDM parent, you generally need to know what you're doing, and don't have meetings of your own, because you don't want to get stigmatised, that you had a meeting with them, that you were aggressive, because professionals don't lie, not because they're professional, it doesn't mean they can't abuse their professional position, at the end of the day, you're an SDM parent, they're professional, you can't abuse their professional position, you're an SDM parent, they're professional, please tell the public where they believe, you're the SDM parent, or them, the professional, so it's better to stay around yourself, and have meetings with other people to bear witness, always have an independent witness, if you can't have an advocate, get somebody that knows about SDM, or has an understanding of what the protocol is, and just finally, on my time, your time, if you were to leave any one of those parents, but in particular, black parents, kids with special needs issues, what would you tell them about it? Stop the calling, stop the calling on the phone, do emails, straight up, yeah, it's annoying, that's their downfall, you can't take that to trial, you can't take that to court, because they're violating your child's human rights, or violating your child's equal rights, where's your evidence? It's their word against yours, always leave a paper trail, unless there's any documentation, you need to document everything, and you need to be organised, if you don't understand something, she's got dementia, go and sort information, do research, if you don't know anything, learn how to talk as well, some STM parents, they don't know how to talk, they over share things that aren't relevant to their child's needs. Right, and then finally, what specific support do you think parents should have? They should have parent care workshops, they should also try and do workshops, online workshops for STM parents, because that is normal, and STM parents are on their own, they can't physically go to certifies, you need virtual STM forums, each STM parent is their right. And when you say parent care, what do you mean? Well, if you're not taking care of yourself, mentally, or having someone get you physically, you can go and express what you feel, STM parents, people don't get discrimination your child faces, somebody's got a child with no STM, she goes again, only a STM parent will understand that STM parents struggle, and the struggle is real. Okay, I think, if I know, if it is on a positive note, how is your child now? Now on a positive note, my son, he's in his prom two weeks ago. Oh wow. Yeah, his last day as a student, he got into college, looking forward to college, on a positive note, my child's doing very well with food tech, on a positive note, food technology, he did really good with food tech, he had to do food tech practicals, he did tacos, salt fish for starters, a fruit cocktail, in the shape of a pineapple, and yeah, he's enjoying looking forward to now leaving school, having done business too, and cooking and everything cooking as well, he's good at cooking. Yeah, one of the two most celebrity areas. Yeah, he likes making money online, yeah, like virtual games, I would like him to kind of go to a church he's going to, a missions trip in Rwanda, so we're going to that next year, and we've got a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming in, so we're going to have a lot of people coming
