Newly Found Shakespeare Play Teachard III

Mr. O's Sideways View is a blog and podcast about the world. The play "He Shard the Third" takes place in a schoolroom, possibly in the 16th century. The main characters are Egli-Hishard, a woman teaching the male students, and Lady Victronica, who supports the boys. Mysterious events occur, and Lady V is accused of a crime. In the second act, alliances are made, people disappear, and Lady V befriends Margaret Queenie. In the end, Lady V confronts Hishard and a sword duel takes place. Hishard dies and Lady V becomes the hero. Father Robert delivers the epilogue. Hi, and welcome to Mr. O's Sideways View, a blog and podcast dedicated to all those folks who aren't me. And I've noticed a surprisingly large number of people who aren't. Hmm. Anyway, I'm Mr. O, and it's time to take another sideways view at our crazy world. As the auditorium fills, you see the black curtain hiding the stage. It is a scene of dread, and you feel a cold chill running down your back. Yup, the guy behind you spilled his Vodka and tonic all over you and your seat. Why'd it have to be a sellout? No changing seats! The guy apologizes and offers to buy you a drink. You accept. Heck, if you're gonna smell like a distillery all night, you might as well have the drunk a match! He returns with your double whiskey, sits, and the ice cubes in your pants melt just in time. The house lights dim. The curtain rises on a darkly lit schoolroom. Maybe. How would you know? You've never seen what a schoolroom looked like in the late 16th century! There are no apparent windows, and the desks are high with tall stool. On second thought, this might be a room where scribes worked. You've seen pictures of that. Then again, the title of the play is He Shard the Third, so a school is more likely. Hey, the whiskey must be kicking in! It's only been a few seconds, and you're already thinking deep thoughts! Just then, a single spotlight illuminates center stage, and a wisened man, wearing a cassock, steps into the light. The play begins. Greetings to thee! We seest before us a tale of ruin! The suit is not for the faint of constitution. Ere I speak the same, thou must be warned. Prithee, I now taketh a moment to speaketh my name. It is Prologus, as my tale is The Prologus. Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! Prologus! As the story progresses, we learn the woman is named Egli-Hishard, and she is responsible for showing the all-male student body how to cook and sew their own robes. You know, woman stuff! Of course she's against this, as women should be allowed to learn math and science. Consequently, she is angry at all her male students. The only hero the boys have in all this is a highly intelligent serving girl named Lady Victronica. They come to the lady with their desperations, and Lady V chastises and thwarts Hishard whenever possible. Sadly, though, she is not completely successful, and certain people seem to just disappear after speaking to Hishard. Then, in a really great scene at the end of the first act, blood is found behind Hishard's desk. The squires come and open up the wall to find the body of the man from the beginning who was the father of one of the students. Next, in an extremely confusing bit of writing and acting, Lady V is arrested for the crime and sent to the tower, all while professing her innocence in a three-page soliloquy. I mean, you wouldn't think Hishard would be suspected yet. It's only the end of the first act. Duh! Unfortunately, you'll sleep through most of the second act, but only exposition happens then anyway. It's nothing important. You awaken just before the third-ass curtain, with more ice down your back! This time it was his wife! Another free double whiskey, and you're all set for the rest of the show. You quickly find out, during the second act, as several unimportant folks have either disappeared or shown up dead, Hishard has made convenient alliances with Duke Buckingham and Earl Surrey. Strangely enough, both of their middle names just happen to be of. Hmm. She has also traded her good relations with Margaret Queenie, for two assassins to be named later. On the other side, Lady V is now in bed with Margaret Queenie. Well, figuratively, not literally. It was, after all, not an enlightened age. Also, she made friends with houses both in York and Lancaster, though she put a realtor's bid on neither. I'm not sure why you would befriend a house rather than the folks inside, but hey, I never claimed to understand Shakespeare. Boy, I guess things do happen during the second act. Stay awake next time! It has come to pass, Pegalee Hishard is headmistress, because everybody else who's qualified has wound up dead. In a terrific uprising scene worthy of Les Miserables, the students storm and free Lady V from the tower. Lady V then confronts Hishard, shouting that her bullying is unfair. Of course, the students agree, and attempt to oust her. Regrettably though, Hishard hides in a third floor ladies' room. This stops the students cold, as the term gender neutral has not been created yet. Without the sexual revolution in existence, it is up to Lady V to bring her out. They have a really cool sword duel, where Hishard offers the entire worth of the school for a horse. Odd, actually. I think an automatic rifle would be more apropos at that particular moment, but who am I to say? Anyway, Hishard dies, and Lady V is the hero, predictable Shakespeare ending. Lastly, Father Robert comes out and delivers the epilogue. Don't do what Hishard did. Or do! What do I care? I'm only a bit player. Heck, the show's over, go home! Let's hear it for Father Robert!