Ep15 In The Shadow Of The Mountain C.L.Knox stories

The speaker is reflecting on a song they recorded several years ago and the story behind it. They mention that the song is constantly evolving and that they tried to edit it down but didn't have time to perfect it. They also talk about their relationship with a famous Canadian musician and comedian who visited their family farm every summer. They mention that they had a relationship with one of his daughters, but it eventually ended due to differences in their aspirations and locations. The speaker also discusses a peyote trip they took together and how it deepened their relationship but also made them realize they weren't meant for each other. They reflect on the concept of seeking glimpses into the future and how they stopped doing that when they became a Christian believer. They note that it is common in today's world to engage in supernatural practices. Okay, trying some new equipment, hopefully it works out for me. So episode 15, it's been over 15 weeks I think, I'm not quite doing one a week, it's usually like 8 to 10 days between posting. So I wanted to say the song that I did last week was actually a, it was a song that I recorded, I don't even know when, there was no date on it, back in probably 6 years, 7 years ago, of, it was an iteration of a song that I wrote in the 70s, 76, 77, something like that, and I'm going to tell the story of that song. So I've never actually solidified the song, it's very fluid, it's, depending upon where I'm at at the time, what the lyrics are. Somehow I recorded that one, it was originally about 10 minutes long, and I tried to edit it down to like 7, 7 and a bit for the podcast, it was really bad, I butchered it, but I didn't have time to clean it up, and I'm not very good at it anyway, so I hope you could still appreciate it through the butchery. I'm going to try and actually do a better job, and actually write out some lyrics, although I like having like, there's probably 10 iterations of it, there's probably 10 groups of lyrics, and they run anywhere from probably 6 minutes to 12 minutes, you know, so but if it was done right, I thought it could be tasteful, excuse me, I have a cold, I haven't been talking at all since I posted this last week, so anyway, the song, back in the 70s, so I mean, if you listen to the other stories, when I was 16, I started smoking pot, and drinking, and being less religious, I guess, you know, following less the beliefs that I picked up when I was 13, the Christian beliefs, and so I mean, I was in high school, and I'd been in and out of high school a number of times, I'd gone to high school, and then dropped out again, you know, over and over again, and so at that time, I was going to school in Nanaimo, I think, I was going to Northfield Alternative School, there was a teacher, Earl Stornes Cress, who used to teach in this district, and he set up the alternative school program for this district, and then he went down to Nanaimo and set up a school program for them, and he had his own building on Northfield Road, that school is, the building is still there, and it grew to where he had two buildings, he had that, and then he had the log house on Bevan Park, Bowen Park, Bevan Park, right beside the road there, we had both of those, the big school and the house, we had the house because a fire started in the school, so they moved us into the house, and then when we got back into the school, we sort of had part use of the house as well, so I went there for a couple of years, um, anyway, in the, in the summer, whatever, I wasn't going to school, in fact, if I was, if I was 18, which I think I was, I think when this story happens, I think I was 18, my, my parents had met, um, I'm not going to use his name, people that know me will know who he is, but my parents met a famous Canadian musician and comedian, he was a comedian, and he had family that was here in Qualicum, and so one summer they met him, and he came out to our farm, which was no longer a commune, and brought his, his two daughters, who were, you know, uh, one was, I think, three years younger than me, and the other was four years or younger than me, five years, maybe, and so, I mean, I didn't pay much attention, I didn't know who he was, he was famous, but I didn't, I never heard of him at that point, so that would have been probably, probably, I don't know, I don't even know when it was, probably when I was 14, 15, so, you know, early 70s, um, and, uh, it became a regular, like, they would, he actually, he wanted to buy the property, he fell in love with the farm, and he wanted to buy it, and he began to make offers, and my folks were like, no, we don't want to sell, um, would have been a different story if he'd sold the property, um, so as, as the years went on, every year that family would show up, and we would, you know, we would have dinner, and play some music, and, you know, do, do the stuff that we did, and, and, uh, I got to know the, uh, one of the girls quite well, she, uh, I would have to say she was probably the aggressor, but we, you know, she was the one that pushed for having a relationship with me, so by the time I was 15 or 16, so, I don't know, it's second year, third year that they came up, um, we, we began to, uh, to have a relationship, and, um, it, it lasted for, I would say, five, six years, you know, right up until, well, I think 19 was the, I was 19, maybe 20, um, when it ended, yeah, it might have been 20, um, I, you know, we were quite, uh, well, it seemed as though we were both quite taken by each other, and, uh, um, we spent a lot of time communicating, and, um, when she got more independent, she came up on her own, you know, sometimes twice a year, and I went only once down to, you know, she lived in Hollywood, I only went down there once, um, I wasn't comfortable there, it was out of my element, so, um, anyway, when, uh, she had a driver's license, so she drove up, so, maybe 17, 18, I don't know, I can't remember if she's two or three years younger than me, two and a half, maybe, so I think I was 18, and she drove up with, she brought her little car, and she brought a girlfriend with her, and, uh, they brought some peyote, and, uh, we, we planned to, uh, to do peyote on the, on the property, and I can't remember this, too, if it was Joe or Jonathan, it seems like one of my brothers was there, um, my memory says it was Joe, but something keeps telling me it was, it was Jonathan, um, maybe it wasn't either of them, I don't know, um, so we ended up doing the, uh, doing the peyote, and we did it before the sun went down, and there was a fire on the Mount Aerosmith Range, so you could see, uh, the mountain was on fire, like, it was kind of freaky, like, Mount Aerosmith itself wasn't on fire, but the mountains beside it were, and it was, uh, you could hear the planes buzzing, and, uh, see the smoke rising, and as it got dark, the mountain was glowing, it was on fire, and, uh, that's where the, the words, um, see the fire on the mountain, um, and, uh, that's where they came from, is that, so virtually every iteration of the, of the song has those words in it, um, excuse me, excuse me, I'm committed to putting this out, so you're gonna have to endure the cough, I'm enduring it, um, so every iteration had those words, the, those in your eyes, those, the tears you cry, those, they are mine, every iteration has that in it, and there was something that she had told me before the, uh, before we took the, not right before, but when she came up, um, she told me that, uh, after the last time she'd come up, that she got pregnant, and that she had an abortion, and she never told me she got pregnant until after the abortion, so, um, for me, it was a little bit of a devastating news, because I was, I was not in favor of abortion, and even it wasn't a big issue to me, I didn't carry it around, but it was sad for me. It didn't affect our relationship, um, I don't think, maybe, maybe in the end it did, I don't know, um, you know, as she became older, and I became older, and we began to move different ways, she wanted me to move to Los Angeles, and I was like, I can't, I can't see me living down there, I just, uh, couldn't see it happening, so, I love California, it was, you know, my favorite state, uh, I loved it, but I just, too many people, I wasn't used to that, that idea of all those people, um, so, when it came down to it, uh, that was, well, we moved in totally different directions, politically, and, um, you know, desire for our lives, I guess, she, she wanted a career in acting, and show business, and I wanted a career in music, but I didn't want to live in Los Angeles, I didn't want to live in the city, period, but, you know, I would have considered Vancouver, probably, I knew Vancouver very well, it's a nice city, too, it, uh, anyway, never happened, didn't work out, so, uh, when we took the peyote, um, I don't think I had my guitar out in the field, but when we went back into my cabin, I started playing, um, and I put a cassette on, and I still have that cassette, and I would have to find it, I literally have, I don't know, two or three shoe boxes full of cassettes, um, starting back when I was 15, probably, maybe even younger, so, uh, she was up there for quite a while, her friend flew back, she didn't stay, but I think a week, that's why I think it was Joe, because I think they started hanging out, a girl and him, but I don't think anything came of it, it might have been John, whatever, um, uh, after the peyote trip, it changed things between us, because we'd experienced this, uh, trip together, and it actually, I think, made our relationship deeper, you know, we were both pretty young, um, but I think it also may have been the beginning of us realizing, or me realizing, we probably weren't meant for each other, though, we began talking about getting married at that point, and then it just wasn't going to happen, because I didn't want to go to LA, she didn't want to go to Canada, so, anyway, that's, that's that, you know, um, there's something I wanted to say, like, throughout my life, there's been, uh, you know, like, all of us are looking for something, we look at our, you know, horoscope, or whatever, get our tea leaves, read our poems, we have a tendency to want to have a glimpse into the future, and when I became a Christian believer, a disciple of Christ, I stopped doing that stuff, because, um, the Bible warns against it, it's viewed as a worshiping the, um, the creation rather than the creator, or delving into things supernatural that you shouldn't delve into, um, because you're not spiritually healthy. Now, our world is, now, is, we're rife with that stuff, like, everybody's doing it, everybody's seeing mediums, everybody's channeling, and, um, it's part of the signs of the times that we live in, so, um, I didn't want to talk about that, necessarily, but the, when I first became a Christian, there was a handful of scriptures that people spoke to me, that stayed with me, that they were, like, I would call them foundational, or, or, uh, um, they were things I could hang on to, and one of them was in James. Now, James was the brother of Jesus, not the disciple James, who had already been killed when the book was written. The disciple James, which was John's brother, was, uh, he was the first of the twelve disciples to be executed. So, this James is actually the brother of Jesus, he's the half-brother, and he became a leader in the church. Now, in, in his time with Jesus, he didn't believe that Jesus was the Messiah, he was, Jesus was his brother, he was crazy. Nobody in his family, except for maybe Mary and Joseph, believed that he was somebody special. But, uh, um, in fact, there's one case where his whole family was trying to convince him to, to do something, and he's like, no, it's not, it's not time for me to do that. So, uh, so I, I bring that up because of stuff that's happening in my life. I have someone telling me that if my whole family tells me something, then I should pay attention, but not necessarily. Anyway, the scripture that I was thinking of is, is in James right at the beginning where it says, in King James Version, how I memorized it, was let, let patience have her perfect works. So, there's lots of ways to internalize that. So, I internalized it very young, like when I was 13, is to allow for the trials and the, uh, the things that you go through, allow for those to, to work in your life. Be patient, endure, which is how it was translated in, into some of the newer, uh, translations. Let endurance have her, have, uh, what does it say here? Let endurance, oh, steadfastness have its full effect. Let steadfastness have its full effect. And another one was let endurance, you know, produce its proper fruit, whatever. So, I, I, that becoming, early on in my life, it helped me get through a lot of stuff, though it didn't, it didn't, I wasn't able to hang on that to stop me from getting depressed, but it did help me. Um, and, uh, I still, to this day, I go back to that scripture. And then right after that, there's, uh, there's another, like, right after it, it talks about wisdom. And, uh, like, if any of you lacks wisdom to pray to God and he will give it to you through the Holy Spirit, he will give you wisdom. Now, that was important to me early on because my interest in philosophy and philosophy is the love of wisdom. So, um, I began praying early on in my life for wisdom, and I don't know, you know, I believe I got wisdom, but how, uh, how deep I trust God, you know, I, to this day, I trust God. So, when I'm in conversation, I'm able to usually be patient and wait. Sometimes I speak too fast, and sometimes I don't rest and think about what I'm saying, but most of the time I can stay pretty stable. Those two things, patience and divine wisdom. Anyway, so the song I'm gonna sing this week will be, I'll probably play one from, that I've already posted, unless I find one that I can put up, as is, because I don't have the energy and my voice definitely isn't gonna be singing today. So, anyway, enjoy it. Um, a little bit laid back, maybe, compared to some of the other ones. I don't know. Um, excuse me for my coughing and sniffing and sucking on lozenges and stuff, and we'll see you in episode 16. Take five for you. It's my new 12-string birthday gift from my wife. Well, I, I've got so much I'm dying to tell you, but you can't bear to hear me now. In a little while, I must move on, but I'll send my love to you. You can call my name, and I will find you. Heaven and hell can separate us, I know. I'm doing this for you, my love, and I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back to you. Well, I've got so much I'm dying to tell you, but you can't bear to hear me now. In a little while, I must move on, but I'll send my love to you. You can call my name, and I will find you. Heaven and hell can separate us, I know. I'm doing this for you, my love, and I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back to you. You can call my name, and I will find you. Heaven and hell can separate us, I know. I'm doing this all for you, my love, and I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back. Yes, I'll come back to you.