Mum 18-30

The speaker is talking to their mother about their time in Bali. They discuss their living situation, their transition from Albany to Perth for university, and their social life at that time. They also talk about how they met the speaker's father and what attracted the speaker to him. The speaker eventually finishes their studies and works as a teacher in Katanning, while also taking on a part-time job as a housemaid. They mention that during this time, the father's father passed away, and the speaker was unsure about the future of their relationship. Hey mum, how are you? I'm well, thank you. You're doing well. That's good. It's nice to have you here in Bali. Absolutely. I'm very happy to be in Bali. We're sitting in your two-bedroom apartment and it's a beautiful day. Yes. We've had our coffee and life's pretty good. It is. I had a lovely breakfast. That's fantastic. What I wanted to ask you is, we talked a little bit about your childhood and then you decide that you want to teach as a profession and go to university and so paint a bit of a picture for me in terms of you're moving to Perth, you're starting at university, you've got to sort your living situation out. Talk me through that time where you were transitioning from Albany to Perth. Okay. So it was actually quite a big move because most people didn't leave Albany so I was coming up to the unknown really. I did have one girlfriend who had come up and done nursing but with the nurses, they didn't give nursing quarters. Got it. So they'd like a lot easier for them but we're able to find it. I'm not sure how we found this but we found a lovely place to stay in Lock Street in Clearwood and I could just walk over the railway line and up to it because I was at Clip Reynand which is now in Clearwood. And were you living there by yourself? No. In this house. So this was a farming couple, retired. They had a daughter, Louise, whose husband lived on farms and a son who had also was doing teaching. Yes. So in fact, he graduated so he was teaching at that time, just nothing. Then two other guys lived there, very nice people. So yeah, so I just did with them and they provided for board. I know not lunch, breakfast and a nice desk by lunch at college. So college in those days was pretty good on but I met some really good friends, a couple of them. So this is teaching college? This is teaching college. Yes. So I met a really nice little worker friend and I used to catch up with Angela at times who was my little nursing friend. And my cousin too, she was from dad's side of the family. She was like a second cousin, was also at the college so it was a bit nice to have a familiar face and she'd gone to Albany High. So yeah, it was quite nice. Oh, when I first moved into this house, I shared a sleep out that had bunk beds and a normal bed and two of the girls who lived there were farmers people from Papal down south. One was a mature age student and the other was same age as me, but they didn't stay long. They were in there for about three months and then they left and then I had to move to a sub which is more. Yes. Yes. But that was what happened in those days. People bunked in. Okay. That was quite a time. Yes. And so you were living in this place in Glenmont? Yes. And then you were studying teaching at the university? Raylands Teacher's College. Raylands Teacher's College. And did you have any work at that time or were you looking for work? No. No. I was pretty put on. Yes. And I was on a ... We got paid by the government to teach kids living away from home in there. So on top of the accommodation, you had a little bit of money coming in from that? Yes. Yes. So we're paying for the accommodation and I still had some spending money. Some spending money. Yes. And so what else was your day-to-day life like in terms of socially at that time? What did you do on the weekends? What did you sort of ... It's really hard to remember. I did socialize with the couple of friends that I had. Yes. So we would go. I was quite close to Glenmont. Yes. So I was ... Glenmont one side, so Abbey Terrace was just down the road. So we used to meet up in pubs there sometimes. The Clemont Hotel was right there on the corner. So we used to go there and a group of us would do that. The Lock Street Station was right there so I could catch the train down to Fremantle and into Perth. So yeah, that was basically ... And studying, catching up on stuff. People would come up from Albany and catch up with me. Right. Go home every holiday. Yes. So it was pretty busy. I can't ever remember standing still and being bored. Okay. So then at some stage later down the track, there was this momentous occasion where you, for the first time, were introduced to a man named Leslie John Forbes. Okay. Now, how old were you and what were the circumstances that you'd first met him? All right. So after my first year boarding with these people, I went home to Albany. I decided I wasn't going back. And Marie, my girlfriend Marie, who was working in Perth, and I decided we've got to flat together. Yes. In both of the streets. In ... The city. In Perth. Yeah, in Perth. So you decided you weren't going back to ... Stay bored with these people. Okay. Got it. Yes. So Marie and I shared this flat. Now, Marie's older brother, Tony, lived in his ... Her sister-in-law, Ina, lived in the flat upstairs. So they sort of kept an eye on us, so that made mum and dad happy. Yes. And so we lived ... We were below them at a flat and so Marie had gone in right at the beginning of January. I had to go into university, which was six weeks later. Second year. Second year. So she had established herself there and had gone up to the YCW, which was just down the road. The YCW. The Young Christian Student ... Got it. Yes. Or Workers, remember? YCW. Yeah, Workers. Which was a very social organization within the Catholic Church and she met Tony Norris. Okay. And so she became very interested in that four weeks. And so when I came, he was ... He was coming and going, there wasn't anything romantic there. Yes. He was just the lovely Tony that we know. Yes. Yes. Just very friendly. You're always saying that, yes. Yes. And he said, oh, you've got to come and join in some of our activities. He said, we've got one coming up, it's a dancing lodge up in the hall, the church hall, you've got to come. So Marie and I trotted along there and Tony was there and there was this very loud individual playing two-up or some games. Yes. And I thought, oh my God, who is this loud person? Well, he took one look at me and decided that he wanted the life for sure. So from that day on, we dated. Yes. So you met Dad and what were your impressions? It's a little bit strange for me to be asking this question as your son, but what attracted you to Dad? What were your impressions of him and why did you take the ... Sure, I was Dad-attracted. He was persistent. Okay. He disliked you. Yes. So there was an immediate attraction there. But anyhow, and I was new, so I was a new person, so Dad thought he'd get to know me. Sure. And so that was good. And so he became part of the furniture and so did then Tony and Steven and Paul, who was Philip's brother, the same age as us, and a whole pile of those guys that Dad went to school with. Yes. And they were mainly the same group. So it was Pat Duffy and- Pat Duffy. He was there. Yes. Peter Atkinson. Yes. Peter Atkinson. Yes. Soon after that, though, Peter went to England. No SEO. No. Nudge didn't come at all. Okay. No. So it wasn't all of it, but it was- No. Some of it. Yes. No. So we didn't meet much until we moved out to Greenwood. No. Okay. And yes, that's another story. But yes, so we just used to go and look for the social things and there was a lot of social things happening. But you were going to these things as Dad's girlfriend? Not at the beginning, but then yes, soon after. Soon after. Okay. Yes. But I'm going to press you on this point. So there must have been qualities in Dad that you were attracted to. Absolutely. So what were they? What did you see in him? Well, he was very narrow. Okay. Yes. He was a fat person. And they were not very easygoing. Yes. Not seeing Ruffledini very much. I think so. And he was fun and we did lots of things together. We had a very social group and yes, it was a fun year. Very good time. That's fantastic. And so at some point, Dad then asked you to marry him presumably. Yes. And how long had you been dating and what were the circumstances? Okay. So what happened was, the first year out of my teaching, I taught in Katanning. Okay. So this is you finished your studies. Finished, definitely. For three years or two years? Only two years, essentially. Two years. So you'd been dating Dad for about a year and then you finished your two years and then you went out to Katanning. Yes. So I went to Albany for the six weeks holidays, then came down, then was it that year or the year after? No. It was the year after. And then I went off to Katanning to teach at the primary school. And while I was in, when I was going to Katanning, the principal of the school I was going to rang me and said, ''Bev, you're coming to the school to teach.'' And he said, ''The Belia, which is a church for young girls school, are looking for a housemaid to do. Would you like to do that?'' I said, ''It's very boring and everything.'' And I said, ''Oh, yeah. A chance to save money, somewhere to live.'' So this is... My first year of teaching in Katanning. Oh, in Katanning, there's job opportunity part-time. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to Kabina. I had a route. I was looking basically with the primary school boarders and they had an old German, I think she was, lady, lovely, lovely person who was the house mistress who looked after them basically. But I used to give her one weekend in three. So she'd go and have it to herself and I would do half to the kids for that weekend. And then I used to do a study every Tuesday night. I just took all the study and that's all I had to do. So then I got three boards. Oh, right. Yeah. In my own room. Yeah. So it worked out well. And the kids were great. And the primary school kids, you know, so they were easy. And so I did that for 12 months. And then the end of that year, Les's dad died. I was still unsure about where I was going with this relationship with dad. I wasn't sure. He didn't come up and come to visit you or during? Not attending, but he sometimes came to Albany because what I did was, I was one weekend, not really though, I was one weekend in three attending. And then because I felt guilty because then I'd really had to go to Albany to teach. I went down there one weekend, every third weekend, and I'd go to come to Perth every third. So you did all of that in two out of three weekends anyway? One out of three weekends. Perth. Oh, so he came. But occasionally, I doubt. Yeah. Not very often. Maybe in the school holidays or whatever. And Larissa, you know, my friend Larissa, she was also teaching in Albany, 18 to 20. So we used to drive together to take it to drive back to, yeah, so I had a car by the stage, of course. So that was good. That worked out really well. But, you know, I still wasn't sure. And then this was dad died, and he was heartbroken and it broke my heart, seeing him heartbroken. And you were still a couple at the same time? Yeah. Yeah, we were still a couple. I think I did actually see another guy in Albany and he knew about it, but we didn't know then. And he was seen every now and again. So we were still, we were away from each other, you know, we weren't going to be, you know, anyhow, that was fine. So, but when his dad died, and then that happened, I think November, and then at Christmas, he was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for him. And when it came down, he came down for Christmas. And when it was down at Christmas, he asked dad to marry me. But, yes, so, and, you know, my heart broke for him. So I realized that he'd had really, really true feelings for me. So then we just got married in the following May, in that May. Six months later. Or five. Or eight months later. Yeah. Fantastic. And then tell me what you felt on your wedding day and what memories sort of stood out from that day. I remember feeling very nervous and I'm sure that everybody does, and I wasn't sure I was doing it right. Where was it? It was in Albany? In Albany. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you felt very nervous? About the day or about the commitment? No. I was anxious about the commitment. Oh, okay. Yeah. Isn't everybody? I don't know. I was, yeah. No. I was very young and it had been quick. Yeah. Yeah. And I was questioning my motives. Yeah. You know. But, yeah, no. But, no, it was good. Yeah. So we had, it was a lovely wedding. Was it? Yeah. Yeah. What do you remember from it? Like, what stands out? From my wedding day? Just everybody being so happy and all our friends being around us and all our family being there and around us. It was a really, really nice wedding. Yeah. It was lovely. We stayed in one of the motels on the Saturday night after the wedding and then on the Sunday night was Mother's Day. So the dad and I went and saw his mum before they came back to Perth for Mother's Day and then we went and saw Nana. Yeah. Yeah. And said, you know, we should give her presents for Mother's Day. Yeah. Yeah. So that was nice. Yeah. And then we just, you know, kind of went around and sat with. And so you had a very, well, recently brief period of time before Melanie was born. 11 months. 11 months. Okay. So talk to me about that 11 months. What was life like? Where were you living? What were you doing? Oh, okay. Yeah. So when we- So you've just married. We've got married. We have no money. We had to borrow $500 to get a place to live. We had a flat, which was one street away from this house, just off Brackett Street. You owned the flat or you were renting? We rented this flat. It was a two-bedroom flat. It was lovely. And so we were in there. And while we were there, before Mel came along, I think, Deb came to Perth to do a secretarial course that she had with us for about five months, I think three to five months. And then she went off with a friend from Albany and they ordered together. Yeah. Yeah. So Mel was a baby. Yes. Because she shared our room. She was tiny when Deb had that room. And then she moved. She was out to go to the next, to that room. But I found it very lonely because Deb was at work all day and Mel was a very good baby. Okay. So let's talk about Mel then. So what was your experience when Mel was born? How did you feel? How do you- It was like with all my kids, it was the best feeling. Was it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was over the moon. Because it wasn't planned. Yes. So it was a shock. Yes. It was more of a shock to Deb than me. Okay. It took him a while to adjust to the fact that we were having a baby because we had the war. Yeah. And he was thinking we'd have two incomes coming in for quite a while, build up something. That didn't happen. So that was a shock for him. He was, when did she grow? Yes. You know? Was he 21? Yeah. I think he was 21. But you know, we were young. Yes. He was 22. Yeah. He was 21. I was 22. Had just turned 22. So we were very young. I loved being a mom. Yeah. Yeah. And dad loved being a dad as well. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't happy when he first found out I was pregnant. But once he got adjusted to the idea and he was, he loved it. Yeah. It was good. So it was a very, how would you describe how you felt like when Mel was born in that period of time? It was great. We didn't have any money, but we were happy. Yes. And even, I can remember when she was in the back car seat and we couldn't afford a lot, but we'd go for a drive around Pippinwood Road and those places around the river and dream and buy an ice cream. Yeah. And we'd give her an ice cream and she'd sit there in the back eating this ice cream. You know? Yeah. It was just simple, simple life. Yeah. But it was great. And I'd put her in the pram and walk her up to the bus stop to meet Dad. But how old were we? And Jenny was born in the other house. So soon after Mel was born, Dad must have been really term 21. He'd got an inheritance from his grandmother. Yeah. And so we borrowed money from the commonwealth bank and bought a house in Bayswater. In Bayswater. Yeah. So it was only about three streets away, two or three, from where we lived. We all lived around this as mum's place. You know? It was great. Great to have a house. Great to have a house. And we made it very homely. Yeah. And Jenny was born there as well. Yeah. And how about Jen? What was that like when she was born? What did it feel? Well, it was a pain to start perhaps another one. Yeah. Because when Mel turned about 11 months old, I went back to work. Oh, did you? Yeah. Five afternoons a week. So the principal of that school said to me, what are you going to do with Melanie? Because in the interview, I told him all about it. And I said, well, I have to find care for her. And he said, well, look, the president and the PNC's wife would be very happy to have her if you would like. She's got a little child at Kindy, but she's not at Kindy every day. And she'd be very happy to have her if you'd like, to pay her. Yeah. And so I used to do stuff with Melanie in the morning. And we'd go shopping or go to the park or whatever. And then in the afternoon, I'd drop her off at lunchtime. And she'd have a little play with us. And then she'd put her to sleep. And quite often when I got back from school, she was just waking up from her afternoon sleep. So it didn't impact on Mel at all. And she was the loveliest, loveliest lady. Oh, right. And I had complete... I mean, the principal had told her. So it was just a very good year. So I taught five afternoons a week at that school. So that was good. And then I got pregnant with Jen. So it was only a 12-month contract. So then I got pregnant with Jen. Yes. And then when Jen was a baby, Mel was a toddler by this stage. When she was four, I think, and Jen was... No, she was... Mel might have only been two and a half, anyhow. That same principal needed a person two half days at Como Primary School. So he rang me and said, would you like to do that? A couple of years later. Yes, a couple of years later. So I said, yeah, why not? And he said, well, I can get Melanie into daycare two afternoons a week. And not daycare, a kindy two afternoons a week. She's a bit young, but they're happy to take her. And Jen went to this lady and that... She was okay, but she wasn't... She wasn't... No, I mean... What is the other one? It was two afternoons a week. Yeah. And Jenny was fine there, yes. So what was the experience of motherhood for you, having those two little girls? How did you... That was the best. I loved being a mum. Did you? I absolutely loved being a mum. Yeah. Yeah. What was it about it that you loved? Well, it's a challenge. Parenthood's a challenge. It's probably the hardest job you'll ever do. But I don't know, just because I have a strong sense of family. Yes. And I just love having my own family around me. Yeah, it was special. It was difficult because Dad wasn't as committed as I was. So he spent a lot of time socializing. Yes. And, yeah, it was pretty difficult. I found it hard going at times. But I still... That was nothing to do with being a mum. Yeah. That was to do with being so tired and, you know, all of that. Yeah. But, yeah, so that was difficult, probably one of the most difficult times. Yeah. Yeah. Having an absent father. What was it like during that period? Like, what was the biggest challenge for you? And what was the hardest part? How did you kind of get through it? Do you know, it was really hard. I was just... Jen had colic and I was just continually tired all the time. Yeah. And just get Jen to sleep, you know, 11, 12 o'clock after wandering around the house with her for ages, getting rid of the colic and everything. And Mel was an early riser. So... And plus I'd probably woken up and fed Jen during the night. So I was exhausted. So that was hard. And dad wasn't there to support me during that time. That was really difficult. Yeah. He didn't get the concept. He was a selfish 22-year-old, you know. It was about him. That was really hard. Even now when I think back over it, I don't know how I got through it, but I did. And how long was that really hard? Like, what was... You know, was it six months? Was it five years? Oh, no, no, no, no. That was probably just for the first nine months with Jenny and Horne. So that was the hard... Yeah, that was the hard bit. Once she settled down and got rid of all the colic and she became a fairly easy baby and everything got back to normal then. And I suppose because I wasn't so... Dad maybe was home a bit more often. I don't know. He probably... So that helped. And what were the girls like? Like, how were they... What were they like? How were they different? Well, Mel was always... And to a lot of extent, it's to do with, I guess, that first child where you want to be the perfect parent. So Mel was very easy as a baby, but she became anxious as she got older. So... And then once she got over that, she kept having, you know, the colic and that she became very easy, you know, as a baby. We moved out to... Remember how old we were, maybe Jen was three when we moved out to Greenwood? Greenwood, yeah. Yeah. Because I just... It was so hot. That's the other thing in Bayswater. It was so hot. And I just... Because I'd be born in Albany and not used to the heat and no air conditioning. A little hand, you know, tiny little fan. So this is a silly question, but air conditioning wasn't really a thing. It wasn't a thing. It wasn't a thing. So nobody had air conditioning. You just dealt with that. It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah, no one had air conditioning. And so then we moved out. I said to Dad, I can't do this. I've got to go. We've got to go out closer to the ocean where we get a sea breeze at least. Yes. That's when we moved to Greenwood. Yeah. And you liked that house better? I loved it. Did you? Yeah. I loved that. It was brand new. Yeah. Yeah. And we had... The girls had a bed. Non-CO next door. Yes. And that's when we moved in there. Yeah. And that was when we formed that friendship. They renewed their knowledge of each other and friendship. And that's when we became lifelong friends after that. Yeah. That's fantastic. And so you enjoyed life out in Greenwood? Yeah. I did. Yeah. I did. And you were still... You started working again? Like you were working part-time? Yeah. So company members, I've worked at several schools. But I think we tend... That's right. I used to drop ten kids a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 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