Episode 3 - December 1st, 2025

The podcast discusses challenges parents face in getting their child identified with a learning disability and receiving necessary services. Mrs. G explains reasons for the difficulties, such as understaffed systems, weak to fail culture, misunderstanding behavior as a disability, biases, lack of parental knowledge on rights, and financial constraints. She emphasizes the importance of advocating for your child despite barriers like being dismissed or intimidated by complex processes. Evaluation and identification are explained as tools to support the child's unique learning needs, not labels of brokenness. The goal is to provide appropriate accommodations to help the child succeed academically. Hi everyone and welcome back to No Filter Living with Mrs. G. I'm your host, Mrs. Chelsea Sanchez-Gonzalez. My folks just call me Mrs. G. Educator, advocate, and founder of Ryuzu Z-Growth Ed, where we stand in the gap for students who aren't getting what they need from the system. Today we're talking about something that lands in my inbox and DMs all the time. Why is it so hard to get my child identified with a learning disability and actually get services and accommodations? If you've ever felt like you're begging the school to listen, if you've been told to wait and see year after year, if you've started to feel like you're the problem just for asking questions, this episode is for you. Before we dive in, quick disclaimer. I am not your attorney and this podcast is not legal advice. I'm speaking from my experience as a teacher, advocate, and consultant. Laws and policies can vary by state and district, so always double check the specifics for your area. In this episode, we're going to talk about 1. Why it can be so difficult to get your child officially identified. 2. The systems and barriers that get in the way. 3. What you, as a parent or caregiver, can actually do. Practical, real-world steps. So grab your cup of seatbelt, your water bottle, or whatever you're sipping on and let's get into it. Step 1. A reality check. You are not crazy. I want to start with this. If you feel like you've been fighting for your child's school just to get someone to take you seriously, you are not overreacting. You are not imagining things and you are definitely not alone. What if the over and over looks like this? A parent notices their child is struggling with reading, writing, or math. Homework takes hours with tears and frustration. Their child starts saying things like, I'm stupid, or I hate school, or why am I the only one who doesn't get it? The parent goes to the school for help. And then what happens? They're told, let's wait and see. Or, lots of kids struggle. This is normal. Or, the school focuses only on behavior or motivation. They're just not trying. So the parents go home thinking, okay, maybe I'm making this bigger than it is. Time passes. The child is still struggling. The gap gets bigger. Now the child is in 3rd, 4th, 5th grade, and suddenly you hear, we're concerned. They're very behind. And the parent is like, I've been telling y'all this since kinder. If that sounds familiar, I want you to hear me clearly. Your concerns are data. Your observation matters. You know your child better than anybody. You see the meltdowns after school, the way they shut down around homework, the comments they make about themselves at the school never hears. You are not being dramatic. You are reporting what's actually happening in your home and in your child's heart. Two. Why is identification so hard? Let's talk about why this process feels like pushing a boulder uphill. I'm going to break it down into several big reasons you might, sorry guys. I'm going to break it down into several big reasons. You might recognize one or you might recognize all of them. One, understaffed and overwhelmed systems. A lot of schools are operating with too few special education teachers, limited evaluators and diagnosticians, counselors and administrators juggling 100 roles each. When the adults in the system are overloaded, it often shows up as delays in evaluation or we'll monitor and get back to you. Or a lot of meetings and talk but very little actually follows through. Does that excuse it? No, it does not. But it helps explain why you might hear Warren working on it for months without seeing any real movement. But is that okay? In my opinion, no, not at all. Two, weak to fail culture. This is a very harmful mindset in some places that a child isn't struggling enough yet to qualify. You might hear things like, they're making passing grades or they're not that far behind or they just need to apply themselves more. What's wrong with this? Grades don't tell the whole story. A child might be barely passing because of hours of help at home or because a teacher is providing a lot of extra support and grace informally. But the underlining skill gaps are still there. Waiting for a kid to completely sink before we throw them a life jacket is not okay. We should be proactive, not reactive. Three, misunderstanding of behavior versus disability. So many kids who act out, shut down, or clown around in class are actually overwhelmed, embarrassed, confused, or are trying to avoid being exposed as a kid who can't read or the kid who never finishes or takes so long or forever to finish. Instead of asking what's underneath this behavior, the system often labels them as disrespectful, lazy, unmotivated. And then behavior becomes And the real issue may be a reading disability, eating disability, or a language disorder gets ignored. Four, bias and assumption. We also have to be real about this. Bias shows up in who gets identified, who gets services, and how fast it happens. Some kids are over-identifying in certain categories because of stereotypes around behavior and race. And then you have some kids, especially multilingual learners, students of color, and students from low-income families are under-identified with their struggles written off as it's just because English isn't their first language. Or that's just how kids from that neighborhood are. This isn't just unfair, it's harmful. It affects which kids get timely, appropriate support and which kids are told to just keep trying. Number five, family not being told their rights. On paper, parents have strong rights to requesting validation, to give or deny consent, to participate in meetings, and to ask questions and see data. In reality though, many families don't know those rights exist, don't know they can put a request in writing, don't know there are timelines for how long the school can take. And when you don't know your rights, the system can quietly slide your child to the back burner. Number six, funding, budgets, and the cost of testing. We also have to talk about money. Evaluations, specialists, and certain types of testing costs. Money, staff time, training and materials. In some places, there's pressure, spoken or unspoken, to limit how many school evaluations are done, avoid more expensive or specialized tests, save resources for only the most severe cases. You might see this show up as staffing suggests you wait a little longer instead of evaluating now, or being told we need more data from interventions first, again and again, without ever moving forward. Hesitation or pushback when you ask about more comprehensive or specific testing. I'm not saying every staff member is sitting there thinking, how do we save money? Many educators truly care deeply about the kids, but when funding is tight and systems are overloaded, those pressures absolutely influence how quickly or whether a child gets fully evaluated. And this is why your documentation and your voice matter so much. When you clearly describe the impact on your child academically, emotionally, and socially, it becomes harder for hidden cost concerns to quietly decide your child's future. Part three, what evaluation and identification actually are. Let's slow this down and talk about what we mean by evaluation and identify in plain language. A language is, I mean, sorry, an evaluation is a detailed process the school uses to understand how your child is learning and functioning. It can include academic tests, observations, checklists, speech or language assessments, user skills, and more. The goal is not to scrap a label on your child. The goal is to answer questions like, what are they strong in? Where are they struggling? Are these struggles big and consistent enough that we're looking at a disability that affects their education? Depending on your state and your school, evaluations might fall under special education and are often connected to federal protections or 504 plans for students who have a disability but might not need full special education services, just accommodations. Accommodations might look like extra time on tests or assignments or reading support or read aloud options, fewer problems on a page, preferential seating, visual aids, audio versions of text, and side note for those read aloud options, often than not, they will only read the questions and not even all questions. It does not read the text to them. So clarify that when speaking with your child's school. So going on, identifying and learning disability is not about saying your child is broken. It's about saying, your child's brain learned in a different way. And here are the tools and supports that help them. It's about making sure they're not climbing a mountain with no gear while everyone else has a full backpack and hygiene boot. Part four, barriers to family safe. Now let's talk about what you as a parent or caregiver might be running into in real time. Barrier one, being dismissed or minimized. You bring up concerns and hear, it's a phase, they'll grow out of it. Lots of kids their age are like that. After a while, that wears you down. You start second guessing yourself. Am I being too sensitive? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I want to say this very clearly. If you see persistent struggles, year after year, not just a rough week, it is responsible, not dramatic, to push for answers. Barrier two, intimidating language and processes. The school might use a lot of acronyms and jargon. RTI, NTSS, ARD, or RAD, IEP, 504. You need to feel like you're sitting at a table with ten professionals who all speak the language you don't, and you're just supposed to nod along. That can make you feel small, quiet, or scared to ask questions. You might think, I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm talking about. But here's the truth. They work for your child. You are allowed, well, okay, let me rephrase that because they are working in the best interest of your child. That's what they're supposed to do as an educator. They're supposed to work in the best interest of your child, not for your child. Let's not get that confused. But with that being said, you are allowed to slow things down and say, can you explain what that means? Barrier three, fear of stigma or labeling. Some families worry, if my child gets a label, will they be treated differently? Will teachers lower their expectations? Will this follow them forever? Those are valid fears. The system has absolutely mishandled labels before. But the question becomes, is my fear of the label stopping my child from getting the support they really need? A label doesn't define your child. It gives us a starting point for talking about support and understanding the learning needs. Barrier number four, work schedules, transportation, and life. A lot of families are currently juggling multiple jobs, other children, medical needs, limited transportation. So when the school says, can you come at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, and you can't, over and over, you can feel like you're being punished for having a life. If the system isn't flexible, families who can't jump through all the hoops end up getting left behind, even though their children might need help the most. Barrier number five, what can you do? What you can do, practical suggestions. Okay, so we've talked about all the problems. Now let's talk about power, the power you do have as a parent or caregiver. I'm going to walk through some steps you can take. You might want to save this part and come back to it, or pause and take notes. One, start documenting everything. Begin keeping a simple record of what you're seeing at home, homework battles, tears, avoidance, any time I hate school, I'm dumb, or I can't read instead, how long homework takes, any notes, messages, or emails from teachers, any meetings or conversations where you've brought up concerns. It doesn't have to be fancy. You can use a notebook, a notes app, even voicemail notes, just something with boots and quick descriptions. Over time, that becomes evident. Not just, I feel like they've always struggled, but here's what it has looked like, and here's how long it's been happening. Number two, put your request in writing. Instead of only having halfway or pick-up line conversations, write a letter or email to the school asking for an evaluation. Keep it clear and simple. For example, I am requesting a full evaluation for my child. Insert their name. Due to ongoing concerns with reading, math, writing, attention, or behavior, whichever your child is struggling with, at home, I am noticing, and then include brief examples. I would like to understand whether they may have a learning disability or other needs that require support. Please let me know the next steps and timeline. And please always make sure to leave callback information or contact information that the call will not get lost in translation. And when it's in writing, there is a record. You're not just hoping that someone remembers what you said in passing. Three, be completely honest, informed, and questionarious. When your child is being considered for evaluation, you're probably asked to fill out checklists, rating scales, questionnaires about their behavior, learning, and daily life. That is not the time to minimize or sugarcoat. You might think, I don't want them to think my child is bad. I don't want the school to think I'm not doing enough at home. Other people have it worse. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But here's the thing. Those forms are data. If you downplay the struggles, it can look on paper like your child is doing fine. If the paper doesn't show how big the impact really is, the school may say they don't qualify or we don't see enough data to justify more testing. So when you're answering questions like, how often do they avoid homework? How often do they have meltdowns or get very frustrated over schoolwork? How often do they seem confused or overwhelmed in class activities? Answer based on reality, not how you wish it looked. Think about your toughest days and your average days, not just that one good day last week. If something happens often, mark it as often. If you're not throwing your child under the bus, I promise you, you're not. You are giving a real picture of what they're carrying. So the adult in the system can't pretend the load is light. Talk with your child and when appropriate, fill it out together. You're not in the classroom with your child all day. You see them at home. But there are things happening in the classroom that only they can tell you. When it's appropriate for their age and emotional readiness, you can sit down with them and say something like, your teachers and I are trying to understand how to help you better at school. These questions are about what school feels like for you. Go through some of the questions and ask, does this sound like you? How often do you feel this way in class? What's the hardest part of your day at school? This says a few important things. It shows your child they're part of the process, not just a problem being talked about behind their back. It helps you see if what you're noticing at home matches what they're seeing at school. And it gives the school a clearer picture. This isn't just mom or dad seeing it. The student is describing the same struggles too. You can even tell your child, there are no right or wrong answers here. You're not going to get in trouble for being honest. The more real we are, the more the adult can understand how to help you. When the school sees your documented concerns, your honest forms, and when appropriate, your child's own words matching what you're seeing, it becomes much harder for the system to brush it off as just a phase or just a review. Number five. Ask for data, not just opinions. Ask for data, not just opinions. When the school says they're doing okay, or we're not very concerned, you can respond with, can you show me their test scores? What are they compared to the class or grade level? Can I see their reading level and how it's changed over time? You don't have to accept vague reassurance. You are allowed to see data. Number six. Bring someone with you. If meeting makes you nervous, bring a partner, friend, or family member. An advocate if you have access to one. Someone from a local support group or community organization. Their job can be to take notes, to help you remember questions, to simply sit next to you so you don't feel alone. You do not have to walk into those rooms by yourself. Number seven. Learn a few key phrases. Sometimes having a few sentences ready can change everything. For example, I appreciate the information. I'm still concerned and would like to move forward with a formal evaluation. Can you please explain that acronym in plain language? Can you make sure what we just discussed is written in the meeting notes? What specific supports will my child receive? How often and who will provide them? You're not being difficult. You're being clear and you're advocating. Number eight. Support your child emotionally. While you're fighting for services, your child might be internalizing a struggle, comparing themselves to classmates, or just being stupid, lazy, or even less than. Things you can say at home. You are not broken. Your brain just learns differently. Or, struggling in school does not mean you're not smart. Or you can even say, it's the adult's job to figure out how to teach you, not your job to fix everything on your own. School is just one piece of who they are. You can help them see their strengths outside of grades and test scores. Nine. Connect with community resources. You don't have to do this alone. Look for local parent advocacy groups, organizations that focus on learning distances and disabilities. Support groups online or in your community, tutors, advocates, or consultants who align with your values. This is also where services like Friday Baby Grub Ed come in. Supporting families who feel stuck, helping them navigate school systems, tutoring students, and building up skills and confidence when the system has made them feel invisible. I am here for whatever you all need. If it's just a question, if it's to have a meeting, more information, anything. I am here. Part six. Encouragement and call to action. I want to close this with, if you are listening to this at home, it's probably because you're worried about a child you love. Your child, your grandchild, your niece or nephew. A child you've taken under your wing. You might feel tired, overwhelmed, confused by the system. Maybe even guilty, like, I should have been there sooner. I want you to release that guilt. You are here, you are learning, you are trying. That already makes you the kind of grown-up every child deserves in their corner. The system may move slowly. It may not always meet your child the way you wish it would. But you are powerful when you document what you see, what you hear, and what you feel. But you are powerful when you document what you see, put your requests in writing, and perform honestly even when it hurts to see it on paper. Involve your child in the process so their voice is heard. Ask for data, not just opinions. Show up to meetings and keep reminding the adults in charge. This is a whole human being, and they matter. If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent or caregiver who needs to hear that they are not alone. Share it on your social media and tag me so I can cheer you on. And if you want to learn more about the work I do with YUCG Growth Ed, supporting students and families who feel unseen in the system, you can visit my website at www.MrsGManyFlaughters.com. Again, that is www.MrsGManyFlaughters.com. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving your kids so seriously. Thank you for refusing to accept that it's just how it is when you know they deserve better. This has been another episode of No Culture Living with Mrs. G. Remember, we advocate for better. We protect our students. We remind the world that education is supposed to be por amor, Mrs. G. Thank you.