Pilot Episode - 00 stereo

The couple, Ryan and Tally Marlow, started a podcast called "How Do You Couple" inspired by listening to another couple's podcast during a road trip. They aim to explore relationships, share stories, and provide resources for couples. Tally, a mental health therapist, wants to offer tools and insights to help couples navigate challenges. They plan to have discussions with other couples on the podcast and provide a mix of personal experiences and professional knowledge. They have been friends for five years and are excited to embark on this podcasting journey together. Welcome to our journey. Welcome to our journey. And we are very new in the journey. So when we say, how do you couple, when we say the how do you couple podcast, it's actually us figuring out how do you couple, and not let us tell you how to couple. Hey there. Welcome to the how do you couple podcast. I'm Ryan Marlow. And I'm his wife, Tally Marlow. And we are making a podcast together. Called the how do you couple podcast. How do you couple podcast. How do you couple podcast. So, kind of how we thought about doing this was you and I were looking for something to do together. Because since we have baby number one already out and now baby number two on the way, we can't necessarily get to the gym together as much as we used to. And we have a lot of similarities, but also a lot of differences. You're a more chill, relaxation kind of guy. And I'm more of a get out and go hike a mountain in the early wee mornings. Go on a camping trip where it's raining, inevitably raining kind of girl. I'm more like, hey, there's some rest time here. We should rest. And you're like, there's some rest time here. I should find something to do. Yeah. I'm like, okay. But we're good for each other. Yes, we are. And we enjoy being together, obviously. 97% of the time. I would agree with that, 97.4% of the time. I'm gonna give you a solid .3. Okay, all right. Thanks for the appreciation. And I do like to go outside camp and do all that kind of stuff. It is not something I wanna do every weekend. No, nor without like a big social group. That's right. I do like a more social adventure than like a one-on-one adventure. So we were looking for something to do together. And we were driving down to Houston one day to a wedding or a baby shower, one or the other. Doesn't really matter. I'm driving to Houston. We're about three, four hours away. So I had some friends who had started a podcast. And it was called My Fantasy Husband Podcast. And I was so intrigued because I had not really talked to these people since college. And it really boggled my mind to think that two people who I knew had started a podcast together and I could listen to them talk for a few hours. And I asked Ryan, I said, babe, would you indulge me? And we can listen to like 30 minutes of this podcast. And granted, this podcast was about your friend. She had read fantasy books when she was growing up. And now- The Sarah J. Maas novels. Yes. All the F.J. Maas books. And she was getting her husband to read them. And then the podcast was simply them coming on and walking through the book and her asking him questions. And when Tally first brought it up to me, I was like, this sounds kind of dumb. Not gonna lie. I'll indulge you for 30 minutes. And then we spent all the way- Four hours. All the way to Houston and all the way back listening to those podcasts. And we- They were just really fun. And you could tell they were having a good time together. And it was enjoyable to hear them just chit chatting. And so- It was enjoyable. Yeah. And then we continued to listen to it for a while too. So, but that inspired us on the way. We were like, man, we could do a podcast. That'd be a fun thing to do together. It's one of those things where it's like when you hear someone does a podcast, you're like, oh wow. And then you realize like, well, really anyone can do a podcast, right? Maybe not a good podcast. Maybe that's what you think. When I think someone is doing a podcast and I'm like, oh, another person's doing a podcast. Cause it feels like every grandma and their dog has a podcast now. If you could find me to do a podcast with a grandma and a dog, I will. All right, all right. Challenge accepted. I will do something. I'm not sure what yet. I don't really think I'll have to think about it because I don't think you're gonna find any, but. So I can set the terms of what you'll do? Well, we'll get to that. We'll see, we'll see. Find one and then we'll talk about what happens if you find two. But anyways, that kind of got us thinking on the way there. Like if we were to make a podcast, what would it be? And you and I both come from different sort of family backgrounds. My parents were divorced when I was three. I was the only child. You came from a family who had broken homes themselves in different ways, but you guys were tight knit. You, your mom, dad, and two sisters. And so you and I have both kind of seen the opposite ends of relationships, marriages. And you and I have our own struggles. And so working through that and kind of having fun together is kind of the main goal, I would say for me. And I think you too. I do think it's really important that we recognize and explore in our relationship what made the couples in our lives either succeed or fail. And we both can get pretty deep, was one of the things that I really loved about you when we were getting to know each other. And having an opportunity to just kind of jib jab, but also dive deep sounded really, really appealing. And we thought it'd be really neat if we could interview couples in our lives to get their stories, what's worked for them, what hasn't worked, what makes them unique. Because what we realized too is every couple that has made it, has made it for very different reasons. And sometimes the couples you think are just a match made in heaven had like some of the hardest struggles going through and they found creative, unique ways to overcome them. Or they have stories that you would never expect, you know? So that also sounded really fun. But the third reason is probably the most exciting and that you had just started your own private practice for mental health therapy. And well, we just thought it'd be a neat opportunity to create maybe a tool or resource. Yeah, so I had always been drawn to couples' work and helping couples and families, whether they were married, dating, or parents, helping them kind of connect and work through those things that seem to be either assembling blocks or just struggles that every couple faces. And one of the things that I noticed in my practice is that a lot of couples, by the time they were coming to me, I think couples, by the time that they're ready to dedicate the time and the financial resources to counseling, they're already in a pretty not great spot. And so if the plane's already going down and then you come to this person and you're like, hey, we need this plane not to crash. It's really hard at that point. Don't they have the fires? Yeah, it's really hard at that point. Not to say it's impossible, you know? You have a lot of stories where couples do make the turnaround. But one of the reasons why I think this, well, one of the goals that I have for this is just that it would be a resource to couples, whether I'm working with them or not, as far as they can come and find, hopefully, a good resource in what we do. And whether it's finding helpful tools or skills, or if they're just like, oh, we're not the only couple that struggles with that, or oh my gosh, I thought we were the only ones. I think it's very humanizing and freeing when you kind of meet another couple that struggles with the same thing and you realize that it's something to work through and not necessarily that you're an anomaly or that there's something inherently wrong with you and it's gonna be really hard to make it work. So yeah, as a resource. And saying that just because I'm a therapist doesn't mean that I know everything. I think if anyone knows how far I have to go, as a spouse and partner, it would be you. And so, a lot of this is gonna be the couples that we're interviewing and we're just gonna be talking. It's not really gonna be... Not looking for anything. Formative in the sense that it's only information that we'll be talking about. I think it would be cool if, say, more than our moms listen to this, that if people would send in questions that we could answer or go over or at least ponder through. And if something comes up with a couple, you and I really struggle with a few perpetual issues. And so, maybe there's an opportunity to expand on that every now and then and kind of take those thoughts from your trained background because not only do we have personal experience figuring out a young relationship with young kids, but you have educational training from the therapy side. So, maybe there are some tools that people haven't heard of before or that we could talk about at a unique light and how they're actually working in our relationship or not being implemented well in our relationship. Sure, yeah, the struggles with implementing them. Yeah, yeah, because it sounds really easy. Like, oh, you just repeat back what they said? Lovely, that's really hard to do with that. I take 5% responsibility in that moment. Oh, cool. No, no. I would rather fight. I'd rather fall back on my coping mechanisms and save my pride. You and me both, Dave, you and me both. Yeah, my ego is still to be whittled down as much as it probably should be. But, yeah, so one of the ways we see this going is there will be podcasts where it's just the two of us and we're talking and then there's gonna be other podcasts where we have another couple on and it's a... We might share a glass of wine with them or a Diet Coke if they do not partake in the bubbly. Yeah, definitely. Maybe some meat at some point. Delicious. That'd be good. I am pregnant, so maybe some grape juice on this end. Yeah. A couple of ciders. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. Do you wanna talk a little bit about how we met and how long we've been together? Well, we are an experienced couple of five whole years. Five whole years. Five whole years. And saying that out loud, it's both wild that it's already been five years and shocking that so much has happened in five years. Now, we have not been together for five years. No, we've just known each other. We've known each other for five years now. Yes, three years. What would you say, six months being friends? Six-ish, yeah. Six months, yeah, after you rejected me. Well, that's a story for another day. There was a reason. Yes. Obviously, it wasn't my looks. Yeah, we got to know each other in a big friend group, which was lovely. You were going to DTS for your master's in counseling at the time. I was about to start my master's in orthotics and prosthetics. And so, yeah, I was looking for a friend group. Mutual Friend introduced me to that friend group that you were a part of. And it just kind of blossomed from there. So, you were with someone. You had just started dating someone. And so, out of respect, you completely rejected me. And out of respect, I, didn't push it. But, you continued to hang out with the friend group. I did invite you to the gym, and it worked out. And, you know, that happened for about six months. I started dating other people. And then we went on that camping trip with all our friends. Yeah. And I think you and I both realized there was more there. Yeah. And so, we took some time to think about it, consider it, and you and I went our separate ways to think about it. I sort of stopped dating the people that I was dating, because I realized it wasn't necessarily, yeah, wasn't necessarily fair to them. And then, you know, you and I started talking about it, and we went on our first date in that winter, right before Christmas. Yeah. And then four years later, here we are with. A two-year-old. Two-year-old. And a baby on the way. Yeah. We'll give you guys our, more in detail, how we met story, if you want to hear that. I'm sure we'll divulge details as we go. Yeah, I really loved your intentionality, and I loved your depth, and I loved your adventure. Mm-hmm. That was really, really appealing to me. I think you were a very honest person. You didn't hide your emotions or your doubts, but you also didn't let those keep you from doing things that you thought were worthy or valuable, and I hadn't seen that a lot in guys. I think I knew a few female friends who were maybe along that track, but yeah, that was really, really appealing, and it was very quickly apparent that you were my person that I wanted to enter this crazy, crazy rollercoaster of life with. Yeah, and you're just super hot, so that's why you were my person. Thanks, Dave. Wow. You were very fun, and you and I, it was just easy to talk to you. It was easy to spend time with you. I mean, you are very cute, so that kind of helps, but we were able to talk about deeper things, and I think one of the things that I've realized about myself in life is I don't necessarily, I have a few hard stances, but they are few, and so seeking kind of open-minded people who also have values is something that I'm always interested in, and being able to meet a woman who could kind of have any sort of conversation and not be worried of what the response would be to that conversation was something that definitely attracted me to you, and you were just open-minded and fun, and then when either I found out or you found out that the other one was a Doctor Who fan, I was like, oh, yeah. That was a nice little, my people. Oh, my God. Who else? Did we just out ourselves in a very introductory episode? Oh, no. I think we did, but yeah, no, it was just, I think it was easy for both of us, and that was probably why things happened the way that they did in that friendship, and so I think we did that well, but I think it was- We did it as well as we could. Yeah, and now here we are, so. Lovely. You are a counselor. I went to school for orthotics and prosthetics, but after my first residency in orthotics, I got pregnant like nine months after we got married, and so we made the decision to pause my second residency because my baby had already been born, and I was not seeing him almost at all, and that was really, really tough on all three of us, and so we made the decision to pull me home for a few months and kind of decide what the next steps would be, and in that meantime, you started your own practice, and it opened up the door for me to stay home indefinitely, for our young babies, and that had been one of the biggest blessings in our life, and I think it's really pulled us together stronger as a family, giving us more opportunities to just see each other again. Yeah, and the difference between just him and his relationship with you changed drastically once you came home, and I think that was a huge thing for you, and a huge thing for me, but just him being able to have that constant attachment connection, I think is something I think, unfortunately, is not too common these days. It's really hard. Yeah. You have to be in a very unique situation to be able to do that, or make some very significant sacrifices. Yeah, yeah, because a lot of people, it takes two people working to survive, so yeah, that has been a blessing that we can do that. One thing about us is that we are Christian, and so you and I kind of rely on God and our faith and our church to kind of help us along in the couple's realm of kind of how we feel, and how we're doing. I never want that to isolate our audience for anyone who would listen, who maybe doesn't believe those things, but to ignore the significance in our life, and especially the role that it plays, especially when it comes to you and I, there's a bigger picture at play than just our happiness, or how we're feeling in the moment. Yeah, it definitely flavors our experience. Definitely flavors our experience, and I think it would be a disservice to anyone listening if they didn't know explicitly where we were coming from, because we won't always talk about it out in the open, just because it's our background normal, and so to talk about it explicitly is something that we do often, but not always, and so we just want you guys to know that that's where we're coming from. We do believe that there is a greater plan for everything that happens in life, and you can either choose to walk in that plan, or you can walk against that plan, but the plan will continue, and so that can be a hope, or it can be kind of a stumbling block. Yeah, and we try, I mean, we see it as a hope, but also a call to action, because there are things that, I mean, I see a lot of broken relationships, and I don't judge that, but I think, in a lot of them, I've seen this kind of either there was no hope, there was no greater thing beyond just, well, people grow up, they get married, they have kids, that's how you do it, right, and even within our own community, we see broken relationships, but it is something that impacts, and it will be prevalent throughout this podcast, not in sort of a. We don't want to shove it down your throat, hopefully. Yeah, nobody likes that sales pitch, but. We just want you to know that it's there. Yeah, it has probably impacted us, and so if you're not about that, then here's the time to not continue on, but if that's something that either doesn't bother you, or also plays a part in your life, then that's gonna be a part of what we're doing here, so yeah. Welcome to our journey. Welcome to our journey, and we are very new in the journey, so when we say the How Do You Couple podcast, it's actually us figuring out how do you couple, and not let us tell you how to couple. No, we're asking that question. Yeah, we are asking that question, because it's a big question. And not two people do it the same, nor should they. Yeah, I mean, there's some things that probably help along the lines, but I would agree, yes, with your channel sentiment, I would agree with that. Yeah, this is fun. We look forward to taking you guys along, and I'm just excited to spend this time with you guys. Me too. Yeah. I guess we'll see you guys next time. All right, bye, y'all. Bye. Do, do, do, do, do, do, ba, ba, ba, how do you couple, mm, mm, mm, How Do You Couple podcast. Teaching you how to, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Wait, are we doing the intro? No, I was asking if you wanted to do our, like, this is Tally and Ryan, and this is the How Do You Couple podcast episode number zero, zero. Pilot episode. Pilot. The one where. The teaser. We made a pilot. I don't think we can copyright Friends on that. You probably may. Yeah, damn it. Pivot. Pivot? Ba, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. We'll work on it. I'm not gonna cut any of that. That's all gonna go in. Good. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Lovely.