Finland

Finland's entry in the Eurovision national final shocked the speaker, as it won over a song they preferred. The speaker criticizes the entry for being comically terrible and believes Finland made a mistake by not selecting a different song. They suggest that either the selection process should be reconsidered or the public should be more discerning in their voting. The speaker finds the song unimpressive and states that the performer's outfit was unacceptable. They express disappointment in the European Broadcasting Union's decision and expect better from Finland in the future. So, starting out at number 37, we have an entry that shockingly won its national final over a song that would have definitely been in my top 10, and that is Finland. Honestly, I still cannot believe that the EBU allowed this entry to happen. It's not just that Finland didn't pick Saataseppala, which was a horrific and unforgivable mistake, but that this entry was so comically terrible that it is hard to believe that this was from the same country that sent Cha-Cha-Cha last year. You would assume that having such a high-quality national final like UMK, which has been so good over the last few years, would prevent something like this winning, but yep, nope, that's not the case. Long story short, either UMK needs to rethink their 25% jury, 75% tell-vote system because they sent this garbage instead of sending something that would have done much better, or the Finnish public needs to learn not to vote for something like that ever again, like ever. I'm not sure which one of those needs to happen, but one of them does. Anyways, this entry was absolutely awful on all fronts. First off, the song is not good. It wasn't the worst song in the contest, but it was pretty close to it. Yeah, it was pretty close to it. It's 90s nostalgia bait, and it does it very, very poorly. It's not even good to listen to in a so-bad-it's-good type of way. However, the outfit from Windows 95 Man was completely unacceptable. The thong that he was wearing, it was a thong, it was a joke. It was so revealing that you could see his dick, and I saw a picture that someone took where you could literally see it hanging out, pictured here. To the EBU, what the fuck were you thinking here? My last place from last year was Mama Sa-chih, which is an absolute abomination of a song. It's completely unlistenable. However, at least it conveyed a good and clever message. This was not clever at all. This was right in your face. So yeah, this entry was a hot, flaming pile of shit, and I expect so much better from Finland next year.