008 - Putting it all together

Mother Nature and Chris discuss the three steps to better wellbeing. The first step is to assess your energy levels and prioritize rest if needed. The second step is to approach wellness choices from a place of kindness and avoid negative feedback loops. The third step is to focus on simple daily practices that align with your goals. The goal is to achieve overall health and well-being that allows you to enjoy life experiences. Hello, and welcome to our conversations with Mother Nature. This week, we're bringing together all the things that we've learnt over the past few episodes, so that you can start to see a path to better wellbeing. It can be really hard to learn how best to improve your health with so much information out there these days, so we've taken nature's five rules for vibrant wellbeing and distilled them down even further into three simple steps that you can consider. If you follow these three steps, you'll truly have a recipe that will serve you for life. So without taking up any more of your valuable time, let's see what Mother Nature has to say as we attempt to put her guidance into practice. Welcome back to the show, Mother Nature. It's great to be here, Chris. So this week, I thought it might be useful for us to bring together all the guidelines that we've discussed, because let's face it, we've covered a lot of ground in these few conversations and it can be hard to hold onto these all in my head at the same time. That sounds like a great plan. How would you like to go about it? Well, why don't we start with a real life scenario? You can help us to see how these five rules of yours come together to offer a path back to health. Okay, let's do it. What's your scenario? Okay, I think we should start right at the beginning with a scenario that kicks the health and wellness journey off for most of those that are struggling. Let's say a person just wants to improve their overall health. They've had it on their mind for a while that they need to do something to help themselves and they're feeling like it's really now time for some action. They're thinking that they want to lose weight and gain some fitness. Where's a good place for them to start? I first want you to remember that I said there were five rules for vibrant well-being. Much of the time, people only think of diet and exercise when it comes to their health. They want to lose weight and get fit. But well-being is more than a number on the bathroom scales or a step count on your watch. So my advice for someone looking to manage weight and get fitter is to start by asking a few simple questions. The first question is, how well rested are you? This question speaks to how much energy you have to embark on making the changes that you have in mind. If you feel like you have sustained energy, and this is not just a spike of enthusiasm, then you can assume living slowly and sleeping deeply doesn't need your attention first. But if you feel exhausted and you're putting pressure on yourself to add diet and exercise to your to-do list, then I'd actually slow down and sleep first. That's a great point to make. Changing your diet and doing exercise costs you physical and mental energy to undertake. So if you're lacking energy in the first place, you'll only lack more by adding these to your routine, right? Exactly. The advice is to be honest about how much energy you have for sustaining the changes you wish to make. Some people will have plenty, others not so much. Well, that makes sense. But how can a person decipher if how much energy that they have is actually enough? Honesty is the best policy. Think of one's energy on a spectrum. Burnout at one end, lethargy at the other. And a healthy flow of energy in the middle ground. So at one end of the spectrum, we have people burning the candle at both ends by not sleeping enough and or never letting their brain or body settle down during the day. These people are living close to burnout. Exercise and dieting may initially feel like a great redirection of this need to spend all their energy, but eventually it will lead them deeper into burnout. At the other end of the spectrum, people have no energy because they are stagnant. These people are not doing much of anything. Paradoxically, these people can have no energy because they have too much of it. The body slows down when calories are consumed and no calories are spent, and this generates lethargy in the body. So a change in diet and some gentle exercise can be very beneficial. But these people have to overcome the inertia of lethargy, which can be challenging. Overall, you just have to be honest about where you are on this spectrum. If you're unsure and need help figuring that out, then a good health coach can help. OK, great. So I guess a good follow-up question to ask if energy is a question mark for people is are you spending too much energy already or are you not spending enough? If you are feeling on the edge of burnout, then you're best to focus on living more slowly before you take on a diet or exercise plan. But if you're feeling lethargic and find it hard to motivate yourself to do exercise or change your diet, then it's a really good idea to engage in a diet and exercise plan to build momentum that can get you out of that sense of stagnancy. And if you're somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, then you should have the energy to pursue your changes. Yes, that's correct, Chris. Just respect that the law of inertia is very hard to overcome. It's just as hard to slow down as it is to get moving, to get yourself into the center of this spectrum where energy is abundant. So you're saying that spending a moment right at the start to assess where you are on this spectrum with complete honesty is an incredibly important thing to do? Absolutely. Step one is to get yourself into the middle of that spectrum where energy flows effortlessly. Once you do, everything becomes easy from then on. Okay, so we've stepped back from our initial desire to sign up for that hardcore diet and exercise plan. And we've asked ourselves a question. Do we have the energy reserves to make these changes? So what's the next question we need to ask ourselves? Well, we're going to ask an even more important question next. Okay, what's that? Are you being kind to yourself? Ah, yes. This is the wellness infinity loop that we spoke about last episode. Exactly. We have to remember that we want to get onto this wellness journey from a place of kindness, not frustration at ourselves. Sleep, diet, exercise, and socializing from a place of kindness feeds back a positive cycle, which makes it much easier to keep going. But done from a place of anger or frustration will enter you into a negative feedback loop that is hard to get off. So we must ask ourselves, honestly, right from the beginning, are we being kind to ourselves in the wellness choices we are about to embark upon? Okay, but to play devil's advocate here though, isn't it always kind to improve your diet and do more exercise? No. We've already spoken about the importance of having sustainable energy for the process of wellness. When done without having the energy, diet, exercise, and even socializing can drain you further. That's not very kind to yourself, is it? It's often best to stop thinking about the physical outcome you're after, like fitness or weight change, and instead focus your attention on something that creates fitness or weight change as a byproduct. And that's a really good point to make. I often say to my coaching clients that we want the fitness, the weight loss, the energy, et cetera, to come as a byproduct rather than the focus of our work. I'll usually do this by having them think of what I call the crazy audacious goal. Please, tell me more about that. I'll ask them to think about something that they can work towards that would be a life-enhancing experience for them. It could be anything from hiking to Everest Base Camp to going on the world's biggest knitting festival. They can choose literally anything that would fill their life with joy and offer us an opportunity to work on their health. The Everest Base Camp example has obvious links to health. They'll clearly need to get fit and strong to get there. But the world's biggest knitting festival has opportunities too for improving well-being if you know what you're looking for. A weekend full of workshops and wandering exhibition stands would be much more enjoyable if they felt vibrant, energetic and had the stamina to be on their feet all day. Therefore, we can still work on all the same aspects of health like sleep, diet, exercise and social bonds to get them there. It's just at the intensity of a knitting festival rather than Everest Base Camp. Perfect, Tris. This is exactly what nature intended for you all. Everyone has a different vision of what health and well-being means for them. For some, it's to achieve a perfect physique or an extreme accomplishment. But for most, it's about having a body and mind that can help them get the most out of life, like playing with the kids, enjoying their hobbies, travelling to interesting places or attending a once-in-a-lifetime knitting festival. And what we're saying here is that this is the kind approach. There is no punishment involved in reaching a worthy goal that has well-being as a side effect. You can easily get on the wellness infinity loop that we spoke about last week from a place of kindness if you focus on health being a by-product of the life experiences that you value. Perfect example, Tris. OK. So far, we've checked that we have the energy for making the changes. We've also found a way to see our health from a kinder perspective by entering the journey from a perspective of something that we value rather than just simply to lose weight or get fit. What's next? Are there any more questions that we need to ask ourselves before we can get started? Yes, just one more. But you'll need to ask this question daily. What is the simplest thing I can do today to meet this crazy, audacious goal of mine? Thank you. Love it. Thanks for including my crazy goals idea. I thought you might appreciate that, Tris. What's important is that you don't start to overcomplicate things to meet your crazy goal. It's imperative at this point to have simple daily practices that allow you to engage your mind in the process, not the outcome. That way, every day will be a success. You're so right. It can feel overwhelming when we keep our sights only on the goal, can't it? We fail to reach the goal every day if we focus on that distant outcome. But if we focus only on successfully completing a daily practice, then each day is a winner. There you go. Focus on what you can do today and tomorrow will take care of itself in nature. An acorn doesn't concern itself about becoming a tree and a hatchling doesn't concern itself about learning to fly. Each day, they just follow their own nature and they quickly become what they were supposed to be. That reminds me of a quote from Marcus Aurelius, who wrote in his meditations, he said, all things gravitate to what they were meant to be. Is that what you mean? That is exactly what I mean. Hold on very lightly to the vision of what you want your health to be. It's your daily actions that will cause you to gravitate towards that very outcome, not the desire of the outcome itself. So when an acorn wants to become a tree, it just sets about growing roots and shoots every day, nothing else. Eventually, that same acorn will be recognizable as a magnificent oak, a tree that is still just growing roots and shoots every day. Love it. Not only do the practices get you where you want to go, they're also the same practices that keep you growing when you get there. There you go. That's a universal truth. Okay, let me summarize where we're at. Then I might have a couple more Devil's Advocate questions for you. Be my guest. When we want to improve our health and wellbeing, start by asking a few questions first. Number one, how much energy reserve do you have for making the changes that you had in mind? Energy comes on a spectrum, burnout at one end, lethargy and stagnancy on the other. And sustainable energy is only ever found somewhere in the middle. It's important to understand that change takes additional energy because you have to overcome inertia. So if you're feeling lethargic, then put your energy into gradually getting moving. It's like pushing a broken down car down a road. Lots of effort in the beginning to get that car moving, then less and less as the car gains momentum. If you're already overworked and burnt out, then put your energy into slowing down a little first until you feel those sustainable energy returning. This is like controlling the speed of that metaphorical car so it doesn't start getting out of control. Next is the most important step of all. Make sure you're entering this wellness journey from a sense of kindness towards yourself. This will ensure that the journey is rewarding and easy to stay on. One way to do this, which I often suggest to clients, is through a crazy audacious goal. Set yourself a goal whose only purpose is to give you a life enhancing experience you can tell your own or someone else's grandkids about. Then you can think about the ideal state of health and wellbeing that would be needed to make that life enhancing event even better. One where you have all the energy, stamina and vibrancy to really enjoy it. Finally, keep this crazy audacious goal of yours in mind but hold it lightly. Focus your attention on doing something each day that can help you reach that goal with vibrant wellbeing. Now you're entering the health journey with a truly kind mindset. Everything from now on will be enabling you to gravitate towards the outcome that you desire. You've nailed it again. Three simple steps. Make sure you have the energy for the change. Set a goal that excites you and focus on the daily practices that grow your roots and shoots. And so we're clear, those daily practices that grow your roots and shoots are to live slowly and sleep deeply, eat from nature's plate, exercise as is limited in nature and socialise in the physical company of others. Kindness has already taken care of itself. Exactly. Amazing. So we started this conversation off by asking how people could implement these guidelines. And the epiphany that I'm having is that even the idea that we should be trying to figure out how to implement diet, sleep, exercise, socialising, etc. is completely an unnatural approach. Health and wellbeing emerge as a by-product of living your life naturally and intentionally. What we've discovered today is not to get granular about the specifics of diet or exercise, but instead to place our sights on a life-enhancing goal. So implement nature's first four guidelines of sleep, diet, exercise and socialising in a way that assists in that goal being achieved with vitality. Nothing more, nothing less. Then simply use the kindness feedback loop as a way to ensure that we're on the right path. Well done, Chris. You're finally seeing things from nature's perspective. Mother Nature, I thought I was going to find some leap holes by this point that I could exploit as devil's advocate. I'm drawing a blank. Possibly we'll get some comments from the listeners to that effect, so I'll be sure to bring this conversation up if we do so. So that just leaves me to thank you again for this conversation today. I look forward to speaking to you again soon. My pleasure, Chris. Bye for now. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation. I want you to notice that we're deliberately avoiding telling you how or when to sleep, diet, exercise, etc. Wellbeing is actually all about orientation. It's about visualising something in the future that excites you, your crazy audacious goal, and using it to guide you on how your health and wellbeing should emerge to ensure that it's a vibrant experience. If the crazy audacious goal requires a great physical effort, then great physical effort needs to be put in to be ready for it. But if the goal doesn't require such physicality, then the day-to-day physical practices won't require such intensity. For that matter, you could also reverse engineer this if you wanted to get some motivation to improve a certain aspect of your health. If you needed to find a way to commit to some more physical activity, for example, why not find a life-enhancing goal that grabs your interest and train for it? For example, maybe you like to travel. How about you book an adventure on Peru's Inca Trail for later this year? A three-day hilly hike that will take your breath away. You'll need to be well-rested, light on your feet, and physically fit to make the most of a trip like that. As always, there's more resources to help you on your wellness journey on our website. Links, as always, are in the description. I look forward to sharing more of nature's insights in the next episode, but for now, remember, health and wellness will emerge quite naturally when you allow Mother Nature to guide you.