PodC3 PK's

This is a podcast episode featuring two individuals, Maury Sandoval and Stephen Sandoval, who are pastor's kids. They discuss the challenges and blessings of being in ministry and how they navigate the line between their parents and their pastors. They talk about the pressure and expectations they face and how they handle disagreements with their parents. They emphasize the importance of trust, communication, and finding solutions together. Welcome. This is King Jesus Dallas podcast. As a church, we exist to minister the heart of Jesus and experience the beauty of his transforming presence. And now, enjoy this podcast. I just want to welcome everybody that is listening throughout all the social media. Today's a very special day. We have two very important people for us. Today, we're going to be speaking about something that sometimes we don't talk about it. And we're going to be talking, I'm going to be making some questions on how is the life behind the scenes for every Piki. So today we have with us, Maury Sandoval, Stephen Sandoval. Welcome, guys. How are you? Doing good. Doing great. Just ate. How was your food, man? It was good. So for those that maybe don't know, they are under the ministry. They work in the ministry. They are involved in ministry. They are in everything that they could be involved in. I just want to ask you some questions. How's life behind the scenes for a Piki, for a pastor's kid, Maury? Well, more than anything, we took the responsibility as pastor's kids to just support our parents. And that's been kind of a process, just learning how to do that the right way. It's something that is very tedious at times, because even though your parents are your parents, you also have to understand that they're your pastors. So that line of not crossing, like disrespecting, or because you're from Minerva, because you're a family, you need to be able to cut that out of your life and see them as your pastors as well. Being in ministry has been a blessing for both of us. We grew up in ministry. We grew up doing video and audio and production. So thank God we've been very involved with many ministries. More than anything, it's beautiful to see how God connects different churches and different ministries together. And as pastor's kids, I feel like we have a grace that allows us to connect with people a lot easier, rather than someone who isn't a pastor's kid. It's just a little bit different, because obviously who our dad is, but it's also a lot of pressure at times, because people put expectations on us to live up to a certain standard. And sometimes that can be very uncomfortable, and we sometimes don't like that. And you've got to get used to it and just deal with it. But Steve, do you have anything to add onto that? No, yeah, it's basically the same thing. It was a hard process. I don't know if it was for you, but for me, it was a hard process to get used to in terms of being an example. Even when we were really young, like a lot younger, because now I'm 21, you're 24. So even being 15, we were being put as examples. Even when pastor wasn't a pastor, because he was the leader in the area. So just being in that position was something that not a lot of people go through. So it was just a hard process to figure out how to go through and how to properly manage that and stick to those expectations. Let me ask you something. In the practical, how do you make sure that you're not crossing the line with your parents? How do you make sure that you're not familiar to them? I guess what I'm trying to know is, how do you know when is dad speaking and when is pastor speaking? Well, more than anything, I would like to answer this by saying a lot of people think, oh, at home he's dad and here he's pastor. It's not really like that. With my dad, it's very different. He's always thinking about church. And that's not a bad thing. I'm just saying he's always thinking of how to expand the kingdom of God. So his mentality is always, oh, we can do this, we can do that. And then he always relies on us a lot. So we always see that mutual respect in the sense of, I trust you. That trust of, son, I trust you. Can you help me with this? So that's where I would say, me personally, where I see I can't cross that line because he's my boss, but he's also my dad. So I don't, I look at it as, okay, I have all these responsibilities, but I don't want to let them down. And also in the spiritual aspect, I receive from him because I recognize what he carries and what God has given him. So I don't want to disrespect that or bad or how do you say, like, manage it wrong. I agree. But one thing I do want to say, it's not like he's not our dad everywhere. Like if you're around him or around us, anytime, even at church, he's still our dad. He's still messing with us. He's always loving on us. And like at home here, a lot of people that work with us and see us daily, see it daily. And I think that also shines through us. But like what Mario was saying, I think it's a thing of us acknowledging and like recognizing that when he's pastor, we allow that to be ministered into us. You know, like we let that happen. We allow it in our hearts more than being like, this is my dad, and I'm not going to take that. Or I don't want to listen to that or something like that, which shouldn't be an idea in any sense. But like being able to tell the difference between dad and pastor, I think it's just sometimes could be on the subject. And sometimes it's just you can tell when pastor is being pastor and when pastor is being dad. But either way, both are very loving. Can you tell me like in a specific time that maybe was like super hard for you to try to understand or trying to put a balance, something maybe specific or during any type of situation or any specific year? I don't know. Do you want to go first? You go. So we'll keep the trend of you going. For me, it was whenever I see people that are going to hurt my parents. And I don't want to overstep because I see how much love they have. Or I see people that are going to have their own agenda, you get me? And it's going to hurt them. And I've seen them hurt a lot, you know, because it happens as a pastor and people who take advantage of them. So for me, it's a thing where I had to learn how to bite my tongue and just let God show them. Because if it's me telling them, I don't want it to be me in my flesh. I want it to be know with God. If this is what I see and I perceive, I'd rather pray about it than go tell them. Obviously, there's moments where I'm like, hey, dad, straight up, I see this. But there's moments where I'm like, I don't want to say nothing. I'm just going to let God show him. And surely enough, God always shows him, whether it's in a good way or in a bad way. But I think that's a way that, at least for me, I've been tested. Because there's moments where you want to speak up about things and there's moments when to do it and when not to do it. And I think learning how to, when to hold your tongue and when not to speak is very important. Because it can be a good moment, it can be a bad moment. My dad's a human. Yeah. And it's hard. I bet it's hard for you guys because you have all the trust and all the, you know, you're the son. So you can technically can talk about anything at any time. Yeah. So it's really good what you're saying. What are you speaking to me? Are you showing me, like, is this person going to hurt my parents or is it me just assuming things? So that's where, at least for me, I'm like very, okay, you know what? I'm going to wait. And what I usually do whenever I feel that way, I start praying. I'm like, God, show me. And then, surely enough, God shows me. The majority of the time, he shows me, okay, this person, you know, has a pure heart or this person's here with an agenda or they're here to hurt or they want to, you know, whatever the case may be. Yeah. Even, like, in, like, a personal aspect, sometimes, like you were saying, like, it gets kind of hard to tell what's happening or who's speaking in that sense. Like, if you come with a problem and you're like, hey, dad, but then he turns into pastor and tries to pastor instead of, like, just be dad in that moment. But I think there, again, it's just a thing of understanding, like, I need this and I need to accept this and there's wisdom coming out either way, you know, and actually, like, taking that wisdom because, like, at the end of the day, he can tell me whatever he wants, but it's my decision on if I take it or not or if I take an action, whatever he says, you know. So, I think that's also something that needs to be, like, looked at and completely understood that it's still our choice to say yes or to say no to whatever they're giving. Yeah. Let me ask you something. What do you do when you don't agree? Oof. But, like, let's just be raw. Like, what do you do when you just hate it? The funny thing is... Not disagree, you hate it. The funny thing is... When something's going on. I'm always, right, I'm always the one when we talk about stuff that, like, kind of brings the logical side of, like, okay, but can we do this? But then this happens, but then what would this happen? I was gonna say that. Yeah. Steven's a very logical person, so he thinks, okay, the easiest way to fix it is like this. I'm more of a, I try to put my place in, I try to put myself in that position of, like, understanding my dad and, like, so, I guess it balances out because whenever we don't like something, like, 90% of the time, we agree that we don't like it. Yeah. So you guys agree? We agree and we bring it to him. But we come up with a solution for it, too. It's not like we're just like, we don't like this. Thank you. It's like, this is what I think potentially could be some options. Correct. More than just one. Yeah, and that's one thing that my dad's, what we've always done with my dad is like, okay, if we don't agree with something, we have to have a solution for it. Yeah. Like, if that, okay, let's say he wants to, I don't know, an example, he wants to do an event somewhere, but it's going to be a hard place to do it or there's not enough people supporting us, as an example, you know. Okay, dad, look, instead of doing it here, let's try it over here. Or instead of doing this, let's do this. Yeah. Like, bringing in a different perspective and a different option. And that's something that, like, I really thank God because my dad has that confiance on us to where he listens to us and he takes our advice. Which is what I was about to say. It's also really nice because he genuinely takes our opinion and, like, the way that we see things because we don't just see things in, like, a ministry aspect because we both work in the production side, right? Yeah. So, it's not just like, okay, we're going to go to this building, okay, but how would this building work for the event? How would everything work out for, you know? Yeah. So, that's, like, other things that we bring to the table that sometimes he doesn't think about. Yeah. But it's good because then we're all communicating and we're all getting it to where it needs to be. That's good. That's another thing, too. I think that we've done a pretty decent job of having the same heart as our dad. And that's something that a lot of pastor's kids don't have is that they don't understand the vision that God placed in their father or in their mother's heart. So, I think a pastor's kid who has the same heart as their parents is more effective than a pastor's kid who... more effective how? More effective as support, as shoulders. Because I do believe that being a family is very important in ministry and it's very... it's different. You know, whenever you go to a church and the pastor's kid's not involved or he... majority of the time, pastor's kids are the worst kids in the church. I know. Right. That's why I brought you guys because I know something that we need to speak. And you guys are such an example in what you do and unity and everything that you do because I know that you do it with all your heart. And you can tell when people are just doing their jobs and when you love what you're doing, when your heart is involved. So, that's something that I really admire from both of you. And I think we have so much to learn from that and you have so much to impart into PKs for this generation because there's so much confusion. Let me ask you something. And you can be honest. Nobody's watching. Are you calling to ministry? You answer first, Steve. Yeah. Okay. You, mom? Yeah. 100%. What happens? No. Let me go back. Do you think every pastor's kid is called to do ministry? No. I don't think so. I believe that everyone has their own purpose. If your dad's a pastor, that doesn't mean you have to be just like him. I agree. 100%. And that's one of the majority of the reasons why a lot of pastor's kids leave church. Because they put that false expectation or people around them put that expectation on them. Sometimes the pastor does it unconsciously. And then they start lifting him up and thinking, okay, I want my kid to be just like me. Correct. I'm sorry, but to me, that's one of the worst things you can do because what you do is you constrict him. One thing that my dad has always done with us since we were little, he always told us, if you don't want to go to church, you don't have to go to church. Since the age of, what, 10, 12 years old? If my grandparents were at home and I could stay with my grandparents, he'd be like, if you don't want to go, stay. That's something that he's never forced us to go anywhere. He's never forced us to do anything. He's never asked us to help out with media. He never asked us to help out with production. It was something that we saw there was a gap, and we stepped into it, and God gave us the grace. Over time, he gave us the passion to do it. I thank God because that's where I feel like we found our purpose in the sense of supporting my parents, doing all these things, but also it's God-given because it was a gap, but it's a hard gap to be in. You get me? It's really hard, and especially being a pastor's kid, and like the way I said with the expectations, those false expectations that a lot of pastor's kids have, that's why they go into drugs. That's why they start having sex at a young age or they leave the church or they go away for many years and go to college and go crazy, and then they come back. It's because they put those false expectations, and then they reject the calling of God in their life because they say, well, I don't want to be like my dad and myself. That's one thing that my dad has always taught us is you are yourself. You have your own calling, and you don't have to be like me. He's never put that pressure on us, and he's even told us. He's like, you're you. Like even, for example, Stephen is very unique. I was going to ask you that. That was my next question. In one minute, can you tell me how do you deal with being yourself versus what people demand? Oh. Or how you should look or do it. I love it. I love just being myself because I've been told before the way I dress or the way that my image is, I'm very respectful to my parents, but the Lord said to come as you are, and that's just the way I am. I believe in just being myself, and the Lord wants to see me. He doesn't want to see a mask. He doesn't want to see a fashion show. So that's why I have my beanie on. I have my jacket on. I'm in sweats. That's good. You are who you are, and that's who you are, and that's what you show. Mauri, tell me what do you do when you just want to get out of everything, when you just want to leave? Because sometimes we have those moments. But what do you do? How do you calm yourself? How do you deal with that pressure? How do you not quit? How do I put this? I'm a very social person with certain people, and I have a very tight friend group. I'm not saying it's a clique. I'm saying it's a friend group. I have people that I trust, and I can be myself with. You get me? Correct. I don't feel like they're judging me, or I don't feel like they're being themselves. I can't be myself with them. You're Mauricio. You're Mauricio from the Wild Spots, son. Yeah, you get me? I never do anything stupid, but what I'm trying to say is with my friends, I'm able to be myself. I'm very big on guns and hunting and stuff like that, so I like to do that. I also have my other friends that I go out with, and I go eat. I want to say this the nicest way, but I have my friends that I like. That's part of my escape. Sometimes I go hunt, or I go spend the night at my friend's house. With my friends, they all go to church. I don't have a lot of friends outside of church. They all go to church, so we have the same morals, the same values, everything. That's, at least for me, my escape. Also, prayer. Prayer is very important. Having a lifestyle of prayer is hard. Even as a college kid, I admire my dad for waking up at 4 in the morning. That's very hard for me. I pray mainly at night or on my own, but that's my way of escape. Stephen, I'm pretty sure you have a... I do the shower tactic, bro. Shower tactic or video game. Can you please show them? Not a specific, but... I'm talking about the prayer, the praying in the shower. Stephen prays in the shower. Stephen has this thing where he's a strong talker. It's funny, because I used to get scared whenever he would take a shower because he would shut off the lights. I shower with the lights off. No. What would you do? But he does it now, too. I started like 4 years ago, because it's very calming to not have to see everything around you. And you could just get in what you need to do. I do it sometimes. That's a little creepy. It's nice. It's relaxing. But we play worship. We play worship. We leave it on top of the sink on our phone. And we're just... That's my time. I'm alone. No one's going to bother me. Nothing about the video, bro. I mean, I have a little window. There's a little bit of light coming in. Oh, there you go. That's somebody watching. You can... That and also video games, right? Yeah. Video games is my escape. That's my outlet. Steven can play video games for a while, but it's his way of de-stressing. Yes. And with this question, I'm going to end with a purpose. Are you saved because your dad is a pastor? Oh, no. That's a great question. No. I'm saved because I chose to be saved. Because I chose to accept Christ. And that's something that I chose at a young age. And Steven can probably have the same or similar answer. I think one thing growing up as a pastor's kid is like you... This is going to sound weird. You can't deny God because of the things that you see happen at church. That's so good. You know what I mean? Yes, that's so good. You see it happen and you can't be like, that wasn't real. For sure. That was fake. No, you can't be like that. So I think that pushed me to be like, yeah, this is for real. I need to step into that. That's amazing. Well, I just want to thank you guys for taking this moment. I think there's a lot of PKs watching or listening to us right now. And I think it's very important that they have some specific tips that you guys gave. Is there something else that you would like to share for this future generation of PKs? Something, an advice, something that would lead them to longevity. I think something that's not even just for PKs but for everyone in general is to just give it to God and not be afraid to do that. I think that doesn't matter what it is, even the smallest thing. That's definitely something that I had to learn stepping into new things was learning to not do it in myself and ask God for strength and have Him support me. That for sure has helped me just stay focused, stay intact, stay doing what I'm doing, stay passionate for what I'm doing, for sure. I would want to add on to that. A lot of PKs out there that think that their purpose is tied to their parents. It's not always like that. I know a great example is the Gamboa brothers who are in Upper Room. Their dad is also a pastor. Their dad also has a church but they're not in their dad's church. They're in Upper Room and they're lifting up a ministry of worship. And you get me? They're not with their dad. They were at one moment and now they're not. But they're in their purpose. And a great example for me is Ronald Maldonado. I see how much he supports his dad, how much he loves his dad. And that's one example that I've always taken. It's like, you know what? I see what he's doing and that's an example for me. We have a beautiful relationship with him. And that's at least something that I would say is always as a PK, look up to the right people. Because people are going to let you down but that doesn't mean that you have to judge them. But surround yourself with people that you can grow with. And they can help you, guide you in the right direction. So that's something very important. And it doesn't even have to be in your church. It doesn't have to be in your church. It can be people outside your church or friends or another pastor. But keeping people around you that carry the Holy Spirit. I think that's very important. That's very good. That's very good. Thank you guys. Thank you everyone. Stay connected. We have more for you next time. God bless you. God bless you guys.