About Divorce Episode 2 (04122023)

In this podcast episode, Karen Penn discusses the topic of divorce. She shares a scripture from Matthew chapter 19, where Jesus talks about the reasons for divorce. Karen believes that divorce is often a result of hardened hearts and rash decisions. She mentions that while physical abuse is a valid reason for divorce, it is important to work on other issues instead of terminating the marriage. Karen also talks about the Pharisees' attempts to test Jesus and the disciples' response to his teachings. Jesus mentions eunuchs in relation to divorce, and Karen explains the different types of eunuchs mentioned. She concludes by encouraging listeners to soften their hearts, forgive, and work on their marriages rather than opting for divorce. Hello, this is Karen Penn your host with Bridging Our Gaps, a podcast where I talk about difficult matters in relationships and share encouraging words for each situation. Today I will be talking about divorce. And I have a scripture reference that I would like to read before I speak about divorce. The scripture is coming from Matthew chapter 19 and starting at verse 3, 3 through 12, Matthew 19. And it starts with some Pharisees came to him talking about Jesus to test him. And the Pharisees, or religious leaders of the time, asked Jesus a question. The question is, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? Jesus replied, haven't you heard or haven't you read that at the beginning the creator made them male and female? And he said, for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. So then the Pharisees and the Pharisees continued to ask Jesus a question, because again they are trying to test him. They want to trip him up and find something wrong with his teaching. So they asked the question, why then did Moses command that a man can give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away? Jesus replied, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and he marries another woman, he commits adultery. The disciples said to him, the followers of Jesus, if this is the situation between a husband and a wife, it's better not to marry. Jesus replied to the disciples, not everyone accepts this word, but only those whom it has been given. Last verse, for there are eunuchs who were born that way. And there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others. And there are those who chose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept this. Again, the topic today is about divorce. I was surprised to be led to speak about this because I have not been divorced. I have experienced as a child, my mother was divorced from my father. I couldn't understand what she was going through at the time. But as an adult recalling what I saw, I believe it was a direct result of having been divorced. But I always like to know what does Jesus have to say? What does the Bible say about things that are difficult in life? And as I read this passage, you know, even though it says the Pharisees or religious leaders of the time were trying to trip up Jesus. It seems that way today when people are given hard information to take. They make fun of it. They don't receive it. They demote it instead of trying to understand it. And I think in some ways people do understand it. And when they do, they don't like the fact that a finger is being pointed directly at them about the matter. So they reject it. But I think it's better to try to understand things instead of rejecting it. You may learn something new. You may have an awakening. You may see profoundness in what you discover. So about divorce, to me, Jesus is saying that, you know, divorce was given only because of the hardness of the people's heart. And when our heart is hard, you can't see clearly. If your heart is bitter, angry, you can't see clearly. And so as a result of not seeing clearly, you make rash decisions. And we terminate things that don't necessarily have to be terminated, but rather worked on instead. Now, I have said before that the only thing that I think that marriage should be dissolved is when there's beating going on. If someone is just beating you, punching you, kicking you, physically hurting you, that is a dangerous situation. You, your life, you know, you're sparing your life to this person. And I don't think that God and I don't agree with anyone who says stay in that situation. But here, God is talking, Jesus is talking about separation being a matter of the heart, that if you can understand this, then you, it's given to those to understand, they will receive it. And those who it is not given to to understand, they won't receive it. And so even the disciples response was, then no one should get married. Let's see, let me find that verse here. The disciple said to Jesus, if this is the situation where you just stay together, unless there's sexual immorality, then you can give a divorce. He says, the disciples say, it's better not to marry. Now, back in that time, men were given a bill of divorcement to women left and right, like you go to the drive through and order, you know, all the cars that line up and have breakfast, coffee every morning. It was just like next, next, next, they would give divorce and just go on to the next person. And it was for simple reasons. You know, she didn't, he didn't like the way she cooked. She didn't clean up small things. So women were tossed to and fro back then. And a man, he would just, you know, live the good life, if you will, and have as many women as he wanted to. So it didn't seem fair on the woman's behalf. So the disciples were responding like, you mean a man's got to stay with a woman in no matter what she does? You leave only if she has been unfaithful? Oh, what? They weren't even for that. And the disciples were open to learning from Jesus. You know, what's the best way to live? You created this thing, God, and you're saying you're God in the flesh, then you must have a design for this thing called marriage in order for it to work. The Pharisees, on the other hand, were just trying to trip Jesus up over everything he taught, because he had so many people following him. And the religious leaders were always about how many people are following you, that puts you on a pedestal. And so Jesus was outnumbering them, because people were following him, they were feeling free, their eyes were being opened to new things. And the religious leaders of the time were jealous. And so they tried to trip him up often. So about divorce, Jesus further talks about how eunuchs were connected somehow to the subject of divorce. And he mentions three ways that a eunuch comes to pass. The first way is that the person is born that way. So I'm not sure if he means that they were already castrated, they didn't have genitals, they didn't have testicles, in order to reproduce, or the fact that it was simply a mindset that they decided from birth, it was within them to not marry. The second type of eunuch Jesus mentions is those that were made eunuchs by others. So that means that those were castrated, either testicles or the entire genital area. And they were working for them in a manner that protected their concubine, their harem, they were like protectors of, I'll say, the king's many wives. And then there's a third way, where the eunuchs chose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. So they abstain on taking it. That's a different kind of eunuch. I'm not sure if they had any parts of their genitals castrated or not. But they were considered a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom, they chose not to be married, and studied the Word of God and focused on the will of God. And so Jesus then finally says, the one who can accept this should accept it. So divorce is not as deep as it seems, as far as reasons why people divorce. To me, it sounds like it's a simple solution for there not to be divorce, which is to soften your heart. There are other scriptures, another scripture that talks about Jesus saying that we should be like children. Be forgiving. And that's a very difficult thing to forgive someone who hurts you with their words, with their attitudes. There are marriages that are always on the brink of divorce, even for years. It's just, you know, there became a turning point where there was callousness between the two people. And when you've been married for so long, it's not so easy to separate because you are in a routine. And you don't like to break the routine, although, or you're comfortable with the routine. And it's difficult to change. And as you get older, it gets harder to change. It's more work involved. When you're younger, you're quicker to say, getting a divorce, I'm out of here. I don't have to deal with this. You have the energy, you have the financial means. And so you cut it off, you don't want to talk about it. But I believe that so many things can be worked out. And it's not necessary to divorce if you talk about it. And if you talk together with a sincere heart, with a humble heart, willing to listen to the heart of each other, what you're, what the person is really saying, you will get to the bottom of it. And you will be able to resolve matters, even if the resolve is, I'm going to work on it. I'm going to work on the things that are offensive to you. And the other person says the same thing. So you continue the journey of oneness and not being two separate individuals. So oftentimes, there's no need for divorce. I encourage you to work it out, stay together, talk it out, be prayerful, most of all. That's the beginning of humbling yourself in order to make the atmosphere conducive to listening to the heart of each other, and minimizing the rage that you have, the anger that you have, as to why you're at odds with each other. And those who have already gotten divorced, and you haven't found a new mate, I pray that you go into a new situation with more understanding about the goal, not being divorced. No one actually makes that a goal, but not getting so far into the relationship, that the only thing, only goal is that you want to divorce. Work things out ahead of time. Learn from your mistakes, and live your best life together with someone if you desire to be married. So long for now. This is Karen Penn, your host with Bridging Our Gaps. And I hope you were encouraged. I encourage you to send me difficult matters that I can share and give an encouraging word. You may remain anonymous, I will not mention your name. But feel free to share matters. I would love to share them on the podcast and give an encouraging word. You may send your difficult situations to my email at info at bridging our gaps.com. So long for now. Have a wonderful day. Transcribed by https://otter.ai