Show 1 Hour 2 (unmastered)

Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade Walk that parade O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T O-E-N-T Forever, forever No one for a while You're never fully dressed Though you may wear the best You're never fully dressed Without a smile You're never fully dressed You're never fully dressed You're never fully dressed You're never fully dressed without a... That ought to keep the little squirts happy. That's right. That ought to keep those little squirts happy, Pinky. Thanks for stopping by. I tell you what, we've just had a whole slew of celebrities in the booth tonight. I don't know. H is a hard act to follow, but I think Uncle Bill might have him. I don't know. Probably a close second. I tell you what, the people behind the glass tell us we haven't done a Station I.D. for a while, and besides that, I'm trying to kill a little time while Brian cues the next song, so let me read what I have taped on the window in front of me. Station I.D. You're listening to Bridgewater College Radio... Bridgewater College! ...on 640 AM, WGMB. WGMB! That's right. That's right. WGMB, where good music begins. Read two or three times an hour. It's an FCC law. FCC law! WGMB has nice speakers now. Nice speakers! For them to stay that way, you must turn down the monitor. Must! Must turn down the monitor volume knob when you cut off the power. Thank you, WGMB management. That's right! All right, I think that gave Brian enough time to cue up the song, so we're going to listen to a little Hanson. Here it is. We hope you like it. Oh, yeah Oh, oh Something's going on And I don't know what it is Oh You're my mistaken girl But you don't know how to give Oh, you drive me crazy I don't know, baby I'm thinking that it's me you're proving Well, I'm surrounding I know I'm fighting Who cares what you're doing? Where's the love? It's my love And it goes around and around and Where's the love? Keep it up And it goes around and around and Oh, no Oh, yeah Oh Oh Can you tell me what you see Whenever you look around? Oh We're keeping out of ourselves And holding each other down Oh And it goes around and around Dark clouds all around Lightning rain pouring down Rainbows of sunshine You say it to me Down on the ground We've got some bad thoughts in mind We've got to change our point of view If we want to get out of here Yeah Yeah Oh I'm thinking that it's me you're proving I'm thinking that it's me you're proving Well, I'm surrounding I know I'm fighting Who cares what you're doing? Where's the love? It's my love And it goes around and around and Where's the love? Keep it up And it goes around and around and Where's the love? It's my love And it goes around and around and Where's the love? Keep it up And it goes around and around and Where's the love? It's my love Keep it up Keep it up Keep it up Round and round and round Where's the love? It's my love Round and round and round Where's the love? Keep it up Round and round and round Keep it up Somebody call and tell me about a little bit of hockey score That's more important. Hockey's better than baseball Baseball sucks. Hockey rules Get this chump off the air All hail hockey All right, up next we got a little bit of the Head on a platter Head on a platter? How do I know head on a platter? Nah, seriously, up next we got a little bit of Weird Al for you, a little bit of the Amish paradise So, uh Well, when Brian cues it up we can start playing it Right now Here we go As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize She's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricity At four thirty in the morning I'm milking cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows Fool, if I've been milking and plowing So long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores And you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise A churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him And I turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist Even if he deserved it An Amish wizard too, you know that's unheard of I never wear buttons But I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint So please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired There's no phone, no lights, no motor car Not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe It's as primitive as can be We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sitting by Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise Hitching up the buggy Churning lots of butter Raise the barn on Monday Soon I'll raise another Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little omelettes wanna be like On my knees day and night Scoring points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else my brother I might have to get medieval on your hiney We've been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy men in a night Living in an Amish paradise The low cost of traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it's fine Living in an Amish paradise Alright Alright y'all this is the Ice Man coming back with Alright now What we're gonna talk about here We got some Waffle House going on here And uh I know all you Bridgewater College folks Go out to Waffle House And spend that hard earned Bridgewater College money After you've been sweating there In the admissions office making those telephone calls I know you're spending the money at Waffle House 2, 3, 4 o'clock in the morning The question is Where do these people come from? You know the cooks, the waitresses The cleaning ladies, the managers What's up Marvin, what do you think about all them people? Yeah this is like a question that's been on my mind for a very long time Like where do you find these people at? How do these people like get applications Like work at the Waffle House Is it like a long dream or something Like I want to work at the Waffle House When I graduate from high school Oh wait a minute, I did graduate from high school I mean When kids parents come in for career day Kids say, oh my dad's a lawyer Oh my dad's a doctor And little Joey says, oh my mom works at the Waffle House She's a cook She does a lot of slice, dice, chop, chop All that good stuff And she's been working there for three years Marvin, Marvin I think it's a good thing that uh This radio station cannot be received You know, even on the other side of campus Especially not at Waffle House man Cause I know Laura would just come whoop your tail She could hear you talking about her hash browns that way It's not my fault she's been working there for five years I mean she can get a real job I mean what's she do during the day time Sleep, watch soap operas I don't care What do I care Alright Marvin well uh Looks to us like uh You think Waffle House is a pretty dead end job I just thought you might like to know The other night uh Carrot Man and I were surfing the net On their homepage which is uh Very interesting actually Did you know that Waffle House employees Get full medical Full dental Two paid ten day vacations I mean come on what more can you ask for That's more than we get at Bridgewater College Well for the way they look they need medical I mean I mean I'm saying come on Here's your teeth Like multicolored brown green And did you know Marvin that The manager of one Waffle House Can make up to $29,000 to $32,000 a year A year man That's the manager look at Laurie What does she make what two bucks All she does is flip eggs Seriously though $32,000 a year that's almost enough To come to Bridgewater for one year Almost If you worked at Waffle House for four years and saved up all your money Then you could get a college education at Bridgewater And did you know That the higher up the management scale goes If you were in charge of eight Waffle Houses Count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Waffle Houses What you do out of the eight You can get over $100,000 a year Oh so $100,000 a year You know what really amazes me though about Waffle House What amazes you about Waffle House It's when Laura goes back She's taken like four big guys orders She's like alright She turns to the cook and goes Alright And all the time I'm not saying that the food I mean the food is delicious I'm not dogging it I'm just saying No child dreams of working at the Waffle House for a career I'm just saying I mean listen When Laura Was in grade school When the teacher says what do you want to do when you grow up She didn't say I want to work at the Waffle House She didn't say that She probably would say you want to be a doctor or a lawyer Someone who can Think about all these Orders and stuff at one time And then Be able to spit it out and chop and dice And all this funky stuff that they do with it And they've got to be smart man They've got to have some kind of memory Short term, long term, any term Pre-term, post term, pre-mortem term, any kind of term of memory I call it crack Crack I mean She's been working there too long Find something else So how long is too long to be working at the Waffle House? Oh Two years, three years It's not a career thing And you all know out there that Iceman's going to be working at the Waffle House in a couple years I am not You're right Yeah I think this little Waffle House thing is going on too long here Oh Hey we love you, keep those calls coming man You're just beautiful, we love you, thanks a lot We'll play your request right now So what you need Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Everybody I'm Louise Volley. Thanks for being with me.