New Episode 2 Stop Asking Why

The speaker discusses the importance of not getting stuck in the why when faced with challenges or rejection. They emphasize the need to focus on the what and how, on how to react and move forward. They encourage listeners to feel their emotions but not to get stuck in them, and to pursue growth and self-improvement in difficult situations. They also mention the importance of having patience and trusting in God's timing and plan. The speaker concludes by inviting listeners to visit their website and share their stories. I, as hurtful as it was, I realized it freed me. I mean, being that we are Christian and we do follow Jesus' Word, I mean, His Word does say, don't lean on your own understanding, just commit yourself to my ways, and I will show you where to go. And when we have that, a lot of peace comes with that, a lot of peace and comfort does come with that, where you can just throw your hands up. It's not as easy as I'm saying, believe me. I was just thinking that. Just so you know, it's not as easy as how the words are going to come out. But we throw our hands up and we have an opportunity to just trust. Because like you said, you know, if one door is closed, what if you did have that perspective? Well, this door was closed because it's going to keep me on the path that I'm supposed to be on. If that door was open and I went through it, well, now I'm knocked off the path. I'm knocked off my purpose. So we're going to shut this door, and that actually helps guide us to the right place. I think a lot of people feel like if a door is closed, it's rejection, which depending on who you are and your upbringing and things you've been through, and I think men deal with this a little bit more than women, is that feeling of being rejected, which you can get stuck there as well. And then that's going to want to, you want to hammer in that, is finding out the why, because, well, now I feel rejected, I must know why. Right, right. Like you said. It becomes a mission almost. Right, and it's freeing. And there's a quote I think about quite a bit, and I apologize to the listeners, I don't know who said this. And if you do, you can call in and tell me. But it says, when you can't control your challenges, control how you react to them. Really, that's a good point. We do have the opportunity, because we still have a free will, to choose how we react. Right. So it's this. Do we get stuck in the wire? Do we react differently? And we keep going. We keep pressing on. And I mentioned to you the other day that just, when I told people about this episode, and I said we're going to encourage people to stop pursuing the why, because there is no answer that will satisfy but to, they would say in response to me right away, well, then what do you do? And I said, that's it. That's it. Pursue the what. What am I going to do to respond, react to the situation? And I do, I just feel like I need to say this. And the listeners, you'll know I'll probably end up saying things like this a lot. It's super important to Barry and I that you know that we're not steamrolling over feelings. When challenges happen, bad things happen, you are absolutely allowed to feel sad, to feel hurt, to feel angry. Whatever emotion that is, feel it. But don't get stuck there. That is the difference. I don't want you to think that we're saying, all right, you shake it off and you move on. You do, but you are allowed to feel whatever emotions that come up. Feel those emotions. Don't sin in anger, if you will. But feel, allow that to take place. You have to process through those feelings. But again, don't get stuck there. We pursue the what. So now that we've got this, this has happened, whether it's a job loss, a medical diagnosis, whatever it may be. Now how do I react? What do I do to help myself? And if it is job loss, then it's a matter of contacting your county. Find out what work systems they have in place. Revisit your resume. Get some people to help opinionate. So you're doing what, what, what, what do I do? And you know that in itself is actually quite freeing. Absolutely. Because you're actually moving forward towards something instead of, like they say, instead of running away from something, you're running towards something. Yeah, fight or flight. Yeah, well, right. And I always heard one more word to that, because that's a very common expression, was frozen. Sometimes we freeze. We don't move at all. I relate to that. We stay in bed curled up. I can relate to that. I know it is so much easier not to do anything. But what, what. So maybe you're, I'm going to say, you're going through a divorce that you weren't expecting to have cross your path. And now there you are in the midst of it. You're going to think my what is going to say get online and start pursuing relationships. And that's not what I would say. But I would say do something to help yourself grow through this. There is a great story in the Bible, not to be a Bible beater here, but there is a great story of Joseph. And you've heard of the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. But Joseph's brothers conspired against him. And if you ever feel conspired, you can relate, Joseph. And the famous line from that story was when Joseph said to his brothers years later, when he has been promoted to high authority and his brothers are literally under his thumb, is that you, your actions were meant for evil, but God's going to make it for good. And that's hard right now maybe for you to see. But it's true. But you can. And we use the silver lining behind every gray cloud. I know we say that. I love what you just said. It may be hard for you to see. But just because we can't see it doesn't mean that it's not in the future. We just can't see it. Yeah, that is the irony of the whole situation. You've got to believe. You need that hope. And our timetable, you know, we Americans want everything tomorrow or yesterday. Very fast culture. Very fast. And that's not helpful either. No. Because we want everything fixed when I wake up tomorrow. Well, it does. It skews our expectations. And with Amazon delivering stuff the next day, again, it reinforces American culture right now. And while I enjoy and I'm taking advantage of a package today that I ordered from Amazon, I'm so happy too to get it that fast. However, life doesn't always move that fast for us individually. Our timetable is not the same as God's timetable. Wow. How true this is. It's just you would like it be repaired a week, a month if you're being generous. God is saying no wait. In fact, the story of Abraham having his one son born was years between the promise and the fulfillment. So we could be in for the long game. Years, like 80 years? It was a lot of years. I think he was 99 when he got the promise. And it was like 20 years later or something. I don't know. Some of you know the Bible better. You know the answer already. But it puts in perspective. We think everything happened that quick. It didn't. And it shouldn't. I mean, it really shouldn't. I feel like we are also, and this is no offense to anyone, we live in a culture of entitlement. I expect this to happen. And when it doesn't happen immediately, then I get upset. And I throw a tantrum. But that said, a lot of times these opportunities and these struggles, whatever they mean, are opportunities. They're opportunities to grow and evolve and persevere and persevere. And that creates character and fight. It may even be preparing us for the next step. Absolutely. We want the next step tomorrow. But we may not be ready or able to receive it at this point. And in fact, if you did receive it at this point, you might mess it up. Right? So give it a chance sometime. Yeah, you've got to let it. Take your hands off and let it happen. And that doesn't mean you don't move forward. It does mean you keep moving forward and just trust that God's plan is still out there for you. This doesn't mean that divorce is good or for your benefit. But being separated may be the very tool that's used to help you become a better person. And that's a challenge at times, I understand. And it's not easy. And I think just like you said, Michelle, it can still be painful. So pursuing the what. What. What and how. How do I keep moving? Instead of the why. Yeah. Don't even bother with why. That was yesterday's news. Move forward and take advantage of your life. Hey, if you've been listening to us this morning on the Hope Network, I'm so grateful for you. Michelle is grateful for you. And I just want to recommend to you that you go to our website. We're at TalksAboutHope. That's all one word and talks is plural. TalksAboutHope.com. And you can write in questions. You can make statements. Tell us your story. And we'd be so excited to be able to share that with others because that's what this broadcast is all about, others. So thank you for joining us today. Take care.