TTM Interview - Butch Swindell FINAL

The speaker is at a middle school football game in Haslet, Michigan. They interview the coach, Butch Swindell, who used to play football in high school and went pro. He lost his thumb in a freak accident and was kicked off the team. He then became a therapist but was visited by the "spirit of the game" and decided to become a middle school football coach instead. The coach enjoys the podcast and has a love for Whopper Juniors, smoking Camel cigarettes, and drinking Jack Daniels. He doesn't make much money as a coach but does it for the love of the game. and we're here trolling the mitten this time we're on location again here in haslet michigan beautiful haslet michigan and we're here at haslet high schools go hyenas in the middle of well you know uh... it's a it's a bit of a of football game they're throwing around the pigskin the little little tykes out there uh... haslet middle school though it's a middle school football game not a high school game and today i have the coach of the team with us here quick interview for the podcast thank you so much for being here today coach introduce yourself for the folks at home yeah you bet your bippy it's a middle school football game but uh... my name is butch my name is butch swindell and uh... butch swindell absolutely you can call me coach bs for short and uh... i'm here enjoying your podcast been a fan for five weeks also thank you i'm not sure he's been on for five weeks but uh... i love it i don't know i'm glad there's like an underground fan base uh... like maybe on the internet or something where'd you listen to the podcast oh i'm from the future oh amazing i already know how this interview is going to go i watched the interview with myself here wow and i scripted it out word for word are you coming back to try to change the interview or are you just like living the dream you're like i loved it so much let's do it again so good the first time yeah um well i didn't do the first interview me from the future did the first interview and now i'm back i'm so confused amazing it's so good to see you welcome to the present coach swindell no relation to mike lindell i couldn't even tell you who that is no he's my pillow guy you don't sell my blankets or anything no no pillows here good for you only pigskin uh... well thank you so much for having me here uh... tell me coach how did you get started throwing around the pigskin and teaching kids how to do it yeah so in high school uh... they used to call me cannondorf cannondorf i had a demon arm i could throw the ball for miles wow where did you go to school? for high school i didn't know high school was full of so many nerds i mean you and i are probably about the same age coach so yeah i guess zelda was pretty big back when we were kids zelda was huge everyone was talking about playing sports and legend of zelda and catching rupees absolutely cannondorf demon arm uh... so what are your stats did you go pro? uh... yeah i went pro i can't remember the full stats but i received five first place trophies in high school oh wow congratulations that's amazing oh one for every year i can't count yeah one for every year yeah counting is important uh... in the field you know there's a lot of math in football yeah i don't really pay attention to the numbers i just pay attention to the win at the end good for you coach i can count up to twenty oh sure that's a win yeah ok full disclosure coach i am a huge nerd so i got your cannondorf reference but like i don't know a whole lot about football me neither oh ok but five five trophies five trophies in high school so how'd you get those trophies uh... just the team was good i played with them they were my boys we took home every single game we played so it was about like the connection between the other players you guys like family absolutely Vin Diesel level of family you know what i mean we came together like fast and furious right fast and furious played the same way fast and furious good for you you know what just give me the back story tell me what brought you from cannondorf swindell to coach swindell here with the middle school kids please please coach bs please oh coach bs but coach bs doesn't take any bs i hope absolutely none ok besides my own oh coach bs is full of bs oh absolutely oh good for you my wife hates me sorry about that it's alright uh well maybe we'll get into that later i mean i'm never leaving counseling but feel free probably probably um but yeah the way i got into it is uh i was picked up by fsu florida state university uh as a star qb oh you were i was i was but um there was a freak accident i ended up tripping falling landed on my thumb on your thumb took my thumb right off wait where'd you fall were you like oh you were playing and you fell i was playing i was trying to catch the ball hand up in the air dropped to the floor something's gone jammed your thumb yeah where were you i mean and then your thumb what fell off not quite i mean the bone fell off with the other bones it was like flopping around flopping around yeah had to have it amputated and then they kicked me off the team what that doesn't feel fair i know they can't wrap that up i just apparently not but i just do you still did you get that thumb back i did i i have it it's in one of my trophy cups oh how'd you know so wait what is that what's on your hand right now it looks like you both thumbs this is bionic amazing yeah hell yeah coach good for you this is what tech can do you nowadays yeah uh see that's why math is important coach math is important yeah just not in the foot on the football field so you your hand your thumb falls off well no obviously it falls off because you're keeping it so did you have to like rip the skin off or yeah they just did surgery oh it's just a nice little chop okay i hope there was some uh local anesthetic my goodness i mean down wow how did it happen i mean were you you know when you were playing i don't know just lost footing yeah somebody trip you or something or possibly i think there was a dude on the ground i mean i've done you know i've heard you're one of the best coach so i can't imagine that you would uh you know don't flatter me make a mistake like that you know anyway so so then you know you're one thumbed one thumb and then what's next so they they took me off the team i couldn't catch the ball anymore couldn't handle balls like i used to oh that sounds like a personal problem coach pretty much and um i decided to take up trying to become a therapist at fsu oh okay okay so you just serve at your like what was your major before therapy i just wasn't it was oh i see but you were like therapy but i wanted to see how sports went oh right of course sports are my life and you were on were you in a scholarship there i was yeah scholarship star quarterback right playing across the nation probably got some like dweeby little nerve taking your classes for you yeah pretty much yeah yeah so what happens next yeah so i'm chilling in my apartment or my dorm um and it's like the the eve of the freaking super bowl super bowl sunday evening right on three in the morning and i'm i'm sitting there and i've got a bottle of jack and i'm smoking some camel unfiltered you know as i do hardcore yeah is that still your regimen absolutely i mean you see that right there oh yeah big pack of camel that's a full carton of camels in your pocket it's like one of those creola yeah boxes i don't understand how that's a big pocket you got there but yeah are you so is that how many cigarettes you're gonna go through in the day just a full carton or oh yeah i actually have a second one in the car just in case good lord coach football stresses me out you know i made an assumption about how old you are you know you look like you're like 55 how old are you though 57 oh yeah you're about well you actually look younger with all that smoking and drinking oh thank you thank you hey wow i didn't know that folks listen uh maybe we've got it all wrong you know instead of doing the paleo diets and drinking lots of water we should be doing a carton of wow what was it a carton of camel unfiltered camel unfiltered and a full fifth of jack that's my skin regimen every morning wow a pack of camel a skin regimen and but you mean like the smoke from the thing and your skin oh yeah you're not rubbing cigarettes on your skin no no no my bad it's just from consuming it consuming of course of course tobacco so uh you're studying therapy yep and you're you see the super bowl so it's it's super bowl sunday eve before oh it's a saturday night i'm eating a whopper junior and i hear knock on the door why i don't know why i care but why just a whopper junior why not a full whopper don't even get me started on whopper juniors they're so good okay i just love them so much yeah i mean i i love a whopper what's the difference between the two minus the size uh okay try a whopper try a bigger whopper one day just do me a favor get the real whopper i'll try that yeah if i'm you know what good call we'll hang out after this we'll go get some whoppers yeah i'll get the junior you get the big one we'll see which one's better okay but yeah um anyways i like hear knock on the door okay and uh i go up there and i open the door and before me is the spirit of the game what i don't know what that is i was like evanescer scrooge oh of the spirit of the game showed up at my front door oh wow so it's like uh i see what we're doing here night before christmas yeah night before super bowl night before super bowl uh but the spirit but it wasn't like three ghosts it was just spirit it was the spirit of the game he had a football head what's a football head oh his head was a football yeah of course and he had the microphone earbuds earphones like we have now on he had those and he had a full blue track suit and he said you know what to do and i did i dropped my whopper junior got on my hands and knees and cried whoa and realized i needed a coach football wow coach you're visited by an other worldly spirit so does that mean you dropped out of therapy school like yeah oh yeah oh yeah well absolutely i mean considering how much your wife hates you that doesn't surprise me so well maybe maybe you should have stuck with both i mean do you make a lot of money as a middle school football coach not at all oh yeah we teachers are underpaid well yeah most folks uh sort of do coaching as a side gig for extra cash or just for fun and for like you the love of the game yeah the you know i don't know if they've all had you know the other worldly visits from the spirit of the game but i gotta know tell walk me through what was this like well for our listeners out there what did he what he she they what they look like well like i said his head was a football and he was oh right it was like uh this side i don't know what that is horizontal okay i'm pretty sure remember we're on the radio people can't see what you're doing oh yeah and uh he had like really long sunglasses on long curly red hair what's a long sunglass sunglasses but they were like long oh because they fit on his football shaped head much like stewie from family guy he looked exactly like stewie oh but like a man not a baby but a football man okay muscly yeah yeah what was he wearing a blue track suit oh sure the coach's track suit yep just like you're wearing today just just like i'm wearing today amazing uh and what did he sound like otherworldly have you ever like seen a movie where they try to make like god speak uh i mean yeah lots of them and it sounds like a different language oh it sounded like it didn't sound like words but you knew what he was saying it's almost telepathic but like it was weird but like it rocked you it shot to like hold on to my core wow it's exciting i've never felt so scared in my life well i'm i'm terrified just listening but also inspired because that led you to do what you're doing now absolutely so you see this spirit of the game and you what do you do then you go out and you like how do you how does one even become a coach well you know with how good i was in high school football i kind of had my stuff in with the staff already the staff already knew me oh sure so i just i came back to michigan where i was born yeah yeah good for you land of the great lakes that's right the greatest lakes the greatest back to the mitten and um came back to hadley i was like do you need a coach and they were like no we have three yeah yeah i would turn down at first right after years of hard work and just begging for the job showing up at the the high school every single day begging they finally gave the oh wow you figure with like the five trophies uh you would have you would have had like an end but good for you way to stick with it so how long have you been coaching the middle schoolers so this is the 10th year we're about to win our 10th straight trophy in a row that's why you're here today congratulations thank you amazing so wait a minute you've been coaching middle school for 10 years yep since you were 47 so uh what did you do before that like between what i'm assuming is your early 20s uh when you met the spirit of the game and uh you know now until what 10 years ago so i wasn't really employed i was just taking welfare checks and then i was for 20 years just going to the door of the high school asking for the job okay yeah no shame in the game uh good for you um it worked out in the end have you taught anything younger like uh the little the little tights football league no just just middle school just middle school pretty much i've been trying to get high school sure you gotta work your way up this this ding dang dude named barney the high school football coach he just he needs the job he won't leave the job yeah he won't give it to me maybe we could take barney out i don't know uh i know some people talk to me after the show you know a guy are we talking like russian mafia kind of people no no everybody i know here is a michigander so but there's you know i've got some colorful michiganders we can talk to okay um anyway so here you are coaching the game yeah so what i'm going to do is i'm going to boss all these like 12 middle schoolers around is that a normal size uh team 12 i think usually they're bigger that's what i would think but not here no i only let the elite of the elite in in middle school in middle school it feels like that's detrimental to the process of like exposing a lot of people to things you love and then the those who are better will rise to the top or getting better by practicing you know they should have loved the game sooner oh sure were you really good in middle school i was elite oh of course uh probably playing jv in middle school pretty much yeah good for you in elementary school that's when i got the nickname that's when they gave you cannon door i was like third grade yep wow i threw a rock and it just went and went oh you weren't even playing football mm-hmm wow but that's when i knew it was time to play football i was born to ball thank god um okay so 12 elite middle schoolers out there yep and uh yeah break it down for us yeah so we've got we've got chester cody uh rico marianne good for you yes marianne is that a like i don't want to assume gender but it sounds like a girl it is yes all right good for you she's i'm sure she is never seen any man do better so good for you she's nuts on the court here on trolling the mitten we just want to say it doesn't matter what gender you are absolutely you can play whatever sport you want hell yeah all right good for you and then my son's on the team as well hey son why don't you come over here hey dad what do you need hi meet this nice little news reporter hello this is your son this is my son hey buddy what's your name uh my name's craig craig nice to meet you craig swindell yeah tell him what you're gonna do tonight i'm gonna throw the ball and hopefully i catch the ball too and um just do that on repeat until the game's over i hope you catch the ball too because you haven't been playing well these last few days dad i i told you i don't want to do football you forced me to do this i don't care what i force you to do we are a family of foot ballers why does mom say you're weird mom can say what she wants we're divorced at this point it doesn't matter she really does hate you she absolutely hates me so i gotta say coach you you just told me that these are 12 elite players and you just your son said you're forcing him to do this is he an elite player yeah very elite yeah is that true apparently i am elite have faith in yourself boy yeah let me ask you apparently marianne throws much better than me why do you like i don't know what to do well marianne's was better than everybody that's besides the point she's the best did you just find out about marianne today how do you know how well she throws see her out there look at that yeah look at her play oh okay yeah that's she's definitely throwing more farther than me absolutely jealous i wish she was my daughter and not you oh wow we can call her calamity can enjoy dad why do you have to be so mean mom was right you're obsessed with football absolutely we are a family of footballers your granddad your granddad's dad your granddad's dad dad your granddad's dad dad they all play football they all picked up the pigskin and they were born i want to pottery that's what i want to do pottery i want to do pottery it's my passion i mean i just i mean have you seen the movie ghost it's a beautiful movie and do you see how they do pottery like that looks fun the only ghost i've seen is the spirit of the game yeah we've been through that what do you like most about ghost the movie i'm like what's your who's your favorite character just a pottery scene oh just the pottery you really like literally i skipped the rest of the move i rewind to the pottery scene and then i just replay it over and over and over and over again until i fall asleep and then when i wake up i repeat it again i'll be honest i don't like pottery but that scene is romantic as shit yeah i mean it's weird really good your son watches that scene so much i know only for the pottery yes only for the pottery in fact uh with dad's trophies i don't even read what the trophy was about i just look at the craftsmanship of the trophy it's very beautiful man it's very beautiful oh that's nice okay well um look i don't want to keep your game why don't you head back out to the field we've got 45 minutes until game time you better get ready get back on the we'll see you later you know coach i gotta say i don't know if you know what the word nepotism means it's a fancy word me not a disease well kind of uh it's a social disease if you ask me it's when just because you're you know related to somebody you get a leg up in the world you wait a minute like hold on i think i realized something because you did just tell me when you were talking to your kid uh not directly but i overheard you've got a whole line of football players in your family we are a footballing family yeah like you know generations back yeah i've been playing with the pig skin since the pig was first skinned since they first skinned the pig yeah 1869 uh was actually the first american football game believe it or not between rutgers and princeton and i was there you were there yep november 6 1869 uh well it doesn't surprise me we learned early on that you uh have the gift of time travel i do i actually just came from there oh yeah just to hide a family no or to like watch the first game keep your like great great grandfather from being murdered what are you like to stop the paradox or are you trying to create the paradox the grandfather paradox i think i'm trying to create it i think i have to like some like deity from beyond i forget his name i think it was like aries or something he he told me that i would need to go back in time and become my own great great great great great grandfather to keep the lineage going so i don't miss me but i i have to do it okay so you didn't just come back from doing that that's what you're going to have to do well i stopped by scoped out the field yeah saw what was going to happen in the game and then you're going to go back in time change the game change the game well i mean keep the game happening oh okay you're trying to maintain the timeline this is a causality loop all right you know for a guy who doesn't know math you know a whole lot about time travel coach how did you get into time travel uh like i said uh similar to kind of like the the spirit of the game i met a deity named aries wow okay is there i gotta figure you've seen the spirit of the game and the demon aries like you up until now i what i assumed were imaginary people are now real uh and you see them i have i have indeed yeah i uh aries was a weird one how so he he came to see me because of my name canandorf a nickname that was given to you by elementary school kids yeah yeah apparently the greek pantheon just really took to my football oh wow so and he heard like the the demon r canandorf oh i see he was like i need to meet this guy yeah yeah was it kind of like the demigod thing because i know that gods they're not big fans of demigods because it's like uh they're a threat to the god yeah so was it was it that kind of thing like aries was like what's up stay in your place or was it like what's up come be a god with me like where we at it was more of like a what's up i respect you and what you do oh right on so here's the time travel ability to make it happen because amazing oh i see yeah wow so aries is sort of the reason why you're a star in a way well i wouldn't call you much big boy aries upstairs downstairs yeah yeah big boy aries he he really got me to where i am way to go shout out to shout out to big boy aries shout out to aries all right coach i feel like we're really getting distracted i wanted to come out here today to get a feel for like what middle school football is like in in in the state of michigan you know like and like the the talent that we've got here in the state you're super talented yeah i mean you can time travel so like how how do you get the best out of these kids uh just kind of bullying them into submission kind of works wow yeah is that legal god if i know okay sure but it works all right i mean hey no judgment you see marianne out there yeah i see she couldn't be this good of a player without some bullying oh wow yeah calamity cannon door she's the cannon because well you know what um uh yeah i got you that little microphone there um yep so why don't you just to keep that with you i'll keep mine on me and uh we'll walk over here to the edge of the field and uh you know what i'm just gonna like why don't you run your team through some drills or something real quick for me all right team i want to double decker whammy go right now hustle back and forth back and forth don't trip son don't trip god dang it son oh is he okay is your kid okay who knows he's really crying the nurse will take care of him dad i see bones buddy how you doing are you okay you better uh i need you to play tonight hey uh excuse me mr reporter um not a reporter okay either way uh do fingers are fingers supposed to be bent like this oh kid that's those are just dangling there reminds me of when i lost my phone story it could be oh dude we gotta we need to get you a bionic finger no is that what happened yeah like you and me are like anakin and luke losing our left hand i feel like he passed out oh wait now wake up buddy wake up we're gonna get you to the hospital you okay uh yeah yeah probably give it to the hospital please after the game like i'm now seeing double and like things don't make sense anymore you gotta wait till after like also is the sun supposed to be pink uh don't stare directly at the sun buddy that's not good for you yeah well that's okay especially during the eclipse your father told you to stare at the sun during the eclipse yes i don't know what he's talking about i hope not we'll get you to the hospital after the game oh there's the nurse why don't you go why don't you go talk to the nurse okay bye buddy bye yikes man that kid is a hot mess absolutely i don't know what to do with him well maybe this is it you know uh maybe i should let you go he looks like he's in a lot of pain i just realized what's that he can no longer do pottery oh god yes oh that's great oh great okay um yeah because as we've learned from you coach you don't need all your limbs and no digits to play football nope all right all i need is a brain you can put me into like a a canister like a glass canister with some you know who's at what's at the bottom working the magic oh i see sure and i can coach like that you ever watched doctor who absolutely like a dalek yeah once again the nerdiest football coach i've ever met uh i love it we should really get your kid to a hospital um hang on everybody it's okay we're gonna wrap this up coach thank you so much yeah best of luck with the game i really was hoping to see how it turns out but um oh don't worry we'll win i paid off the refs so okay great yeah i mean we'll go hyenas go hyenas all right anything else uh real quick before we go anything you want to tell the listeners at home or yeah um you can go to www.butchcurrency.gov and buy my crypto coin right now okay listeners i'm gonna leave that up to you coach thanks for being here absolutely and uh let's go take care of that passed out kid uh this is ben trolling the mitten