Episode 15 : Thane

The host of the Alaska Dub Chronicles talks about living with his ex-girlfriend and their three kids in Alaska. He worked night shifts as a night auditor and was also a baker. The ex-girlfriend came from an upper-class background but was married to a controlling husband. They tried to make their relationship work but it eventually fell apart. The host started working at Taku Smokeries and would party with his coworkers on the beach after long shifts. He discovered his ex-girlfriend with another guy and that was the beginning of the end for them. She eventually moved out with the kids and the host hopes they had a good life. All right. Welcome back to the Alaska Dub Chronicles. I'm your host, Alaska Dub, and this is episode where we find our hero living insane with his ex-girlfriend from Kansas City and their three kids, making a start at being in an Alaskan family, living at the end of the road in a rustic cabin, but at the head of a nice trail, and good access to a cool beach where there was lots of lively activity. Let's see. At this time, I was still working night shifts as a night auditor at the Alaskan, and also being a baker right across the street at Heritage. You know, doing that, I don't think the mom did anything besides raising the kids. To be honest, I think there was some public assistance, because she was a mom with three kids, and I'm just trying to make ends meet as a new Alaskan, not having a big substantial fund to draw upon. Let's see. Had the old 77 Ford half-ton four-wheel drive with the snow plow. I do remember replacing a starter, laying out in the ditch at the end of the road, changing starter. Also, I think some U-joint, I think going up to the front differential. Anyhow, I haven't spoken much about the mom or the kids. I guess it's only fair to kind of round off a picture about them. Let's see. So, she was a couple years older than me, so this would be about 20, she would be about 26 or so now. She was raised kind of upper class in Kansas City, sort of a privileged upbringing, did well in school, intelligent. When, I don't know how, she really ended up with the husband that she had when I met her. At that time, though, married, three kids, super controlling husband, who was also very, very fundamental Christian religious. So, she was like no makeup, simple hair, simple clothes, and of course, he could do whatever he wanted. So, pretty lopsided in that regard. But when she got her freedom and she started, this inner hippie started blooming, and even more so when she made it up to Alaska, it was all tie-dye t-shirt dresses and sandals and headbands and love beads and just sort of over-the-top. I don't know, she did have this sort of disingenuous quality to her, which I sort of hinted on at an earlier time, and it's something that was definitely called out by my friends afterwards. Our story, as you probably have guessed, it doesn't end well, and this isn't my favorite chapter to recount, honestly. I haven't really thought about it too much in most regards. You know, usually bad times, I try to forget, just kind of bury them deep, and the sad part about that is burying big chunks of your life, you forget the good times, too. So, I have been enjoying the, well, I guess it was episode 15, yeah, the 15, the 14 prior episodes, and so, you know, describing a relationship kind of hitting the tubes is not so fun, especially when it's, you know, when you're in a relationship and each person's responsible. So, the kids went to school for about, well, for a year, and like I said, we were trying to do the family thing, but bit by bit, you find out later people's real impression of the person you're with if they don't share it with you at the time, and I guess she was doing a lot of skeevy stuff behind my back. But, you know, like I said, trying to make it work, working hard. We had a little spare half room sort of off the bathroom, and my former boss when I was a sandwich maker, the rough talking marine from Oregon, the biker, well, he and his wife, who was running the front of the cafe, they had a, they split up. They had gone through a lot, moved up with a couple kids, and tackled this job, so living, working, moving. So, they split up. He needed just a place to land, so he lived for like a week or so, but, you know, with us in that extra space, and, you know, I'd had enough couches at different times that it's, you've got to kind of pass along. But, I kind of put my finger on that event as sort of the start of things. At least from my perspective, I was kind of starting to go downhill because, I mean, watching my friends' disaffection, and at some point, I can't remember what point, but at some point, things got too much, and I actually packed up and put the stuff in my truck and ran off to Alaska. And, you know, I'm not trying to be revisionist, you know, in the history, which I've really tried not to. I know I have, up to now, you know, on a few occasions, but trying not to for the most part. But, I really can't remember what brought that to a head, because that's pretty major, and things happened later that I remember. But, my friend was with us shortly, and then, within a few months, we had our blow-up, and I took a break for a few days. We reconciled, and I moved back. But, taking a step back and viewing it from my perspective now, that was kind of the moment when the sand started falling from the top of the hourglass. And, you know, we were doomed. From then on, we were doomed, because she, looking back, that's when she started planning her plan B, knowing that, like, we both came to the realization. But, I came back thinking we were working it out, and she was stockpiling money, unbeknownst to me. And, long story, half as long, there was a point where she ended up moving out. She bounced with the kids and had someplace arranged, and adventures ensued that didn't involve me. It was pretty clean in that respect, so I've got to give her credit for that. There wasn't a lot of follow-up. There was a pretty pivotal event midway, or somewhere along here. I think it was before I moved out for a few days, because I think that was kind of wintry. But then, when it was nice enough to start having beach parties, I had a different job at this time, which was a pretty pivotal employment, because I met some people that are still in my life that are super, super important. So, this is a weird, gray area where I look back in fondness at this new job, and looking back at the dumpster fire of my relationship, which sort of overlapped the first bit of that employment. So, I started working at Taku Smokeries, which processes fish throughout the summer. They flash freeze. They also do a smokehouse operation. They process all sorts of seafood. I'll get into that later, but it's very seasonal. For most people, there's a small year-round crew of the super veterans and highly valued workers. But most people are seasonal. Pretty much anyone can get a job. It's called the slime line. It's a very basic salmon processing job. But I was working there, and it was pretty incredible how many hours we worked. Double shifts was pretty common. But then you would expect us to just crash and rest up for the next 12-hour shift. But instead, we were so wound up that we couldn't wait to start partying, and we'd just drink our asses off until we all just kind of fell over. So, part of that involved my having this great access. People would drive out to the end of the road, and there'd be four or five cars parked out there. We would load up everything we need and walk about five minutes. We'd cross over this little bridge across the creek and a waterfall. Then we took this steep little trail alongside the creek as it went down to the channel. Right there, within 10 minutes of the end of the road and my house, was this great little beach spot with big old driftwood logs to sit on. We built a great fire pit and had the drum circles and camp out. Couples would kind of snuggle off in the woods. We were out there a lot. It's not uncommon to sleep out there. I think we were probably out there having a nice bonfire. I actually did get tired and decided to go up to the house and sleep. She decided to stay down there. She had a bunch of friends. That's cool. If you want to be trusted, you've got to trust others, right? I did. The next morning I get up. She's still not in the house. I don't have much time before I run off to work. I go down the hill and look for her. I see her snuggled up with some other dude. I think Sharon won sleeping bag. She said they were having a hug fest. I know her. I doubt things ended there. I'm sure it went to some degree that I'm really not comfortable being partners with someone who thinks that's okay. I didn't really dig it. I left to work. I remember I was so distracted. I could barely think, as you can imagine. I didn't want to be late, so I drove my ass off at lunch to get back to the house and talk to her. I don't remember what I said. Probably something really loud and unkind. I didn't think that was too cool. I had to run off and work another ten hours. To me, that was definitely the beginning of the end. In reality, there was probably just a handful of grains left in that old hourglass. Not too long after that, I come home from work and the house is empty. She cleared out anything that belonged to them. The place came furnished, which was cool. It didn't arrive with much. None of us arrived with much, and we hadn't acquired a whole lot either. She or those kids played the last part they played in my life, really. It's kind of a trip, thinking that those kids are in their late 30s now. What their life experience must have been growing up with her and her decisions. I don't know if they even remember the couple years that we had spent together. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. Maybe I'm a nightmare. Maybe I'm a pivotal figure. I'll never know. I bet I doubt it's anything. Their dads scarred them so bad. I'm probably just the first in a chain of weird boyfriends. I hope the next guy was a great dad and that they got everything they needed and they grew up all healthy and happy. I don't know. That one day, somehow, it gets around that they hear this and that I can say that I did the best I could. I loved them the best I knew how. Raised them along the model that I was raised, which I know now doesn't really fit into modern times as well. I just hope they had a good life and that I didn't do too much to mess it up. So, I would say that's the end of it. Except, you know, I sort of said I hadn't thought about her except for one thing. I was contacted by a private investigator who asked me if I would be willing to recount my history with her. And so, I did. I actually, during the recording of this podcast, I looked for the writing. I mean, I put like 20 pages into what I described as far as us, our relationship in these podcasts. And, you know, it went into great detail and I wish I had that to refer to. It's probably lost. I'm sure it's lost with everything else. And the reason for this request was in her style, she, well, as a single mother of three, you know, if you know where to apply, there are a lot of resources available, as there should be. And so, she availed herself to those. And part of those were, there were some education opportunities. So, she actually started going to college. So, I think she got a little apartment and was going to college. And it transpired that allegedly, according to her, a beloved, tenured professor who had a flawless reputation, well-respected and, you know, teacher of the year. I might be going overboard, but anyhow, long time, well-known and respected teacher, accused them of sexual misconduct. And it caused a huge stink, as you can imagine. And I know you're, you know, believe the victim. Believe the victim. But, you know, the individual that we're being asked to believe had a poor track record with veracity. And the consensus was that this individual was innocent and that she was storytelling. And to that effect, they, with me being the only person in town who knew her from prior life, just asked me to be, to honestly recollect my opinion of her honesty. And it wasn't a good one. It was not a shining reference. Like I said, that was a big deal. This guy was in jeopardy of losing, you know, everything he'd worked 20 years for. And I can't recall the outcome, but I think if it went against him, it would have been very newsworthy. So I think she just kind of burnt every bridge, you know, told the tales she wanted to tell to get the sympathy and open the doors. And as I said, any single mother trying to make it work deserves every, you know, the benefit of every doubt. But this individual just really worked it. And, you know, and the process is really through an educator under the bus. So eventually she left town and I haven't heard from her again. So that's the smoke and ruin of my Kansas City to Juneau romance gone sideways. So I'm glad to move past this and start telling you about the experience I had working at Taco Smokies and the new chapter of Alaskan bachelorhood. So until then, be good folks.