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The transcription includes anecdotes and conversations between two people, mainly discussing experiences in vet school and interactions with clients. They talk about funny and bizarre incidents, the challenges of vet school, and the unique rapport they have with clients. They also mention a veterinarian who is still practicing at 95 years old. The conversation covers a range of topics, from cheating in school to the unexpected things clients share with them. Overall, it's a lighthearted and humorous conversation about the veterinary profession. There was a lady years ago brought in, I don't remember if they were two gerbils or hamsters in a box, and a little girl, four-year-old maybe, they've been sick for a while and they're just snot is all there is. I reached into the box and picked one up and this thing took its last breath before I even cleared the box with it. I look at the mother, I can't believe what's just happened to me, and she says, did he just die? I said, he did. The little girl says, well, don't you touch the other one. Be forewarned, this may not be safe for your work. This episode, like all episodes, will contain explicit language about the happy, the sad, and the downright disgusting, where our fingers have been and where our minds are willing to go. You just found two veterinarians walking into a bar. We pick up where we left off last time, talking crazy stories from vet school and beyond, and we discover how life has gotten a lot easier for Paul ever since Jacob found Jesus. Are you still there? Yeah, but I just turned us back on. I turned us off for a minute while you told that story because I was like, we're probably going to wrap it up. I can tell you the funniest, I don't know why, but I shouldn't even bother turning this back on. The best Alpha Psi story I remember was, you guys used to have tailgates, or you could tailgate just before the football game, across the street, right? I went in there one time, and I don't know why, but he must have been like an alumni, was in there with his five-year-old son. I went into the bathroom, I was hanging out with you guys, had a beer on the way to the football game, and I happened to go in and use the bathroom, and I was taking a leak, and I could see this little kid in the stall, and you could just see his little feet dangling, and this kid was humming some song, and he was going, And I thought he'd go right back to humming. And this little five-year-old kid with his little feet dangling was funny, I'll never ever forget that, and I remember that moment thinking to myself, I'm never going to forget this moment. And you haven't, and you never will. You remember how the traffic around there would be so hectic? It was just bumper to bumper, just crawl pace. You just paced your way through to get around, and when, on the, Tennessee, I mean, excuse me, Alabama or Florida showed up. Yeah, oh yeah. We were out there in the front yard, and we would rent out the parking spot in the front yard, you know, and you can use the bathroom. Yeah. But anyway, it's 40 bucks for a car. Well, 75 for an RV, and the guy's, son of a, you're, highway robbery. So he drives the block. Well, it's an hour and a half before you get back around. He's so frustrated. How much did you say? A hundred and a quarter. Yeah, son. He's just so mad. Hey, we get like three and a quarter out of this guy before he's like, I'm pulling her in. He did. He did. We're having a ball monkeying with him, and he pays up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. That's funny. I had a great time in vet school. I mean, you know, we did. I know. I told Mia, she won't ever find a place where there's more people with that much in common. Yeah. But if somebody told me I had to do it again, it would scare me to death. I don't think I'm up to it. How about you? You mean in terms of the academics? Yeah. After academics. I don't. I would love to sit through some of those lectures, but at this point in my life, no. You have to have such a burning desire, and you have to have such a drive. That's right. Because it's a sustained sprint. You're sprinting every single day academically. You're at a dead run. Yeah. It's like every week is finals week for, what, 16 weeks and then 16 weeks or something. And it's just inundated. And so that's why it was fun for us to go have a couple of drinks and go screw around for a minute. And it was fun. So many of us just enjoyed each other, and we just loved to go tear it up and then have to go back at it. I wouldn't want to do it again, but I'm also older and comfortable. You have to be driven by something to do that, and I wouldn't be driven now at my age to do that. You said it. You're older and you're comfortable. That's exactly right. And with that, you just don't have the ambition that you did when you were 24. This year, the class going into Auburn is 132 students with 27 males. 132. Good, bad, or different. That's the case. 27 males? 27 men. Okay. Now, one of them is big enough to be two. When you see this picture, there's a guy in there. I call him Hoss, and he's smart and he's going to do well. But there's a veterinarian. He's the second oldest veterinary in practice in the United States. He happens to be in my town. He's the oldest one in Kentucky. Wow. He's 95 or 96 years old. Graduated Auburn. No kidding. In 55. He's still practicing. Dr. McCrory said he's still practicing. He wrote a letter to the – I think it came through the KVMA. Yeah. A few years back. Kentucky Veterinary Medical Association. Correct. And he said these technicians who are out in the field castrating calves and veterinarians are yelling about it, though they're under supervision of a veterinarian and whatever. At that time when we got it, it was hard to find a large animal veterinarian. Next impossible now if it's a food animal. And he said it's like the man that didn't kiss his wife for 20 years and shot the man who did. We don't want to do it, but we sure don't want anybody else to do it. Yeah. And he also, lately, in the last couple of years, has been on the bandwagon that the boy shouldn't be judged as harshly. And his point was he said if you're going to send a boy up there to college, and he's around all these girls, he's not going to come home with a 4.0. It's not going to happen. It's true. It's hard for me. The girls didn't like me as much as I was hoping, but they were different. They were crazy about me. That's something I've always had going on. I know. I don't know how you got out of vet school. No. I don't know how you got out of vet school. No. Oh, yeah. It's embarrassing. By the way, V is how you got out of vet school, your wife. V is how I got into vet school. See, chemistry was something I didn't ever understand, but I could sit to her left shoulder, and I got through both chemistries. That's so interesting. So I got out of vet school because of cheating on you, and you got into vet school cheating on her. Right. I don't mean cheating on her. No, I was cheating on her. I think I said that wrong. I'm sorry about that. No, that's okay. We can talk about anything, what it took to get in either. I had no idea how I got in at V, but I didn't have the capability of that, the brainpower of that. I had a pursuit. I did have a lot of ambition. Yeah. I did have a lot of ambition, but I didn't have the brainpower. I don't know about that. Your brainpower gets shuttled to other pursuits that I think you're actually pretty exceptional at. You've got a fast-moving brain. You do. It's just you don't give yourself enough credit for the other stuff. Maybe the grades because you get bored, but your brain moves really fast. You're a Ph.D. in sarcasm, I think. Well, that's, yeah. I don't know. It doesn't get you very far. It caused a lot of harm, really. A lot of people are very offended. You know, my staff has been with me for years. Really? They know inside out. Oh, yeah. They're used to your sarcasm. They're used to my sarcasm, and so are the clients. They pick and pick. I just prefer it that way. I want to have fun, and I want it to be at the expense of somebody. Amen. Yeah. I don't think that's asking too much. Hey, listen, play victim for a minute. We're having fun here. No, that's great. It's unbelievable to me. I was just talking to Dr. P about this, and it's like, man, that's the most fun thing of the whole deal is the people. It is. Some of the people in our profession just can't wait to get out of the room because of the people. They just want to pet the puppies. Slow down. Listen, I've got so many stories about these people. They're great, but you've got to stop and listen and enjoy. You can't be too judgmental. God, people text me. It's constant. It's not something. I don't guess that other professions have that rapport with their clients, where the client is just running off at the mouth about all kinds of things you just wouldn't expect. They feel so comfortable. Look, a lady last week said, and I've never heard of this happening, but I've heard of dogs will ask your ankle to dance, but she's got a cat that has been neutered, and she's going through. Beyond that, what really turns the cat on is when she puts on lingerie. Hang on, she's telling you this about her cat? She's telling me and a male tech this, in front of her husband, by the way. This sweet lady, when I die, will be the ugliest person on earth. Yeah, you just wonder where we're going with this. And she's telling you that when she puts on lingerie. And how do you get from that to what they came there for? I don't remember what they were there for. I think that is what they come there for. I really don't know. It's unbelievable. I left early, and the staff called. We had not been open very long. This has been 20 years ago or longer. The girl said, you may have to come back. There's a cat with a dystocia. It's got a kitten stuck hanging out of it. The owner's been up all night. I said, it's 4.30 or 5 o'clock. They've been up all night. Where have they been all day? Well, she went to sleep. She got to sleep and went to sleep. Cat's got a kitten home. I said, bring it in and look it over and call me. They called me back. It's a cat squalling and carrying on. I said, why? She said, because she has been pulling on its nuts all night. What? It's a tomcat. It's not got a kitten stuck. It's a tomcat, not a female. She thought that the testicles were a baby coming out. It's endless. I don't know if this is true. I think this was Mark that told me this, maybe somebody else. You used to hire some people that are not so functional in society. I want to hear all about that. Tell me about it. It's just too much fun. The exceptional school used to come out on Thursdays. Is that literally what's called the exceptional school? The exceptional school. Marshall County exceptional school. It's a thriving place. It's a very nice facility here in the county. There's 20 some odd individuals that go there. Do they live there or do they just go there for work related stuff? They go there during the day for life learning skills and so forth. Some of them, my buddy Tyler, who has Down syndrome, is learning how to cook. They play checkers and they may do nothing except race, race cars. In other words, my buddy who races cars, he carried a fireproof suit over there with a helmet. That's great. Because there's one of them who sits on the couch all day. I almost think of his name, Richie. Richie wants to be a race car driver. Richie's my age. That Sunday when the odd-nodding started, Richie's sitting on the couch in his fireproof racing suit and his helmet on. That's great. It's race day. That's great. We have a lot of fun with these guys. I've hired and put them on the payroll before. No kidding. They're fun people, right, and fun to be around. More fun. They have some limitations, but they're great. A lot of fun. Most of them are ladies, man, you know. I did not know that. Okay. I don't know if you've been around a lot of these guys, but you can keyhole them, too. The Down Syndrome fella is in love. Now, she is, too, by the way. They love everybody. I think that it is the love of Christ. You're looking at eyeball to eyeball. They love as deeply as Christ himself. Yeah. They love everybody. One of them's dad told me, he said, if he runs into somebody that he doesn't like, you better get away from that guy. He's a son of a bitch. Yeah. No kidding. He's like somebody's dog. You use your dog as a, you know. That's right. Who do you date? That's fantastic. He's got a good judge of character. Go ahead. This is what dads should have for their daughters for prom. It's just that guy over. Hire him for the weeks leading up to prom and let him hang out and play checkers a little bit. We do have prom. Then you can determine whether or not. What's that? I had the high school cheerleading team go out there and dance with them. We had prom for these guys. They showed up. The girls showed up. Did you have prom for them? Well, the county did. The central school did. Some of the kids going through high school were shadowing me. A couple of them, or at least one of them I remember, was a cheerleader. We had all these girls go out there. They danced the night away and got pictures made with everybody. It was a great time. Eddie worked for us. He was on the clock. One of the guys I work with has been in the Navy. He was in the submarine for eight years. Wait a minute. The handicapped guy was in the Navy? No, no, no. A technician that works with me is in the Navy. Another technician with me was in the Marines. A third was in the Army. Eddie comes in one day with his Army shirt on, Be All You Can Be. It must have been an old shirt because that's an old ad. Those guys start their military teardown of each other. The Navy and this and the Army, you're that. Picking at each other. Eddie gets mad. Edward is the downer. He's not down syndrome, but he's from the exceptional center. He got mad. He wants to fight. He's wanting to fight my staff. Of course, I'm egging this on. I think it's time to throw down. I think Eddie needs to throw a punch. They settled with the idea. They settled on arm wrestling. The girl that was in the Marines, she beat Eddie at arm wrestling. No way. She done it in front of the beautiful girl up front who Eddie's got a crush on, the receptionist. Oh, no. Eddie is forever destroyed. He's got the love of Christ for her, too. He's got the love in his eyes. That's been destroyed by this ship bird that out arm wrestled him. It just makes for a great time. It's just a good day. These guys are great. They're just a lot of fun. Oh, man. We've been on the news. We used to be asked to vet. No. I would go on the news and ask to vet and stuff. Well, I carried a couple of these guys with me, introduced them as associates, and people eat it up. It was a good thing for them and me both. We all won. Everybody was a winner. Everybody was a winner that day. It was a lot of fun. I wish I had something like that. I hope it was fun. I'm not that sure. Tyler told me somebody came in. I don't know what's wrong with their dog. He said, you're going to need to go somewhere else if you want this dog fixed. Jayco can't fix this. Jayco can't fix this. He can't fix this. Yeah. They're honest, they're fun, and they're fun to pick on. Fun to pick on. Oh, they are. They're great. At that time, I was still having a lot of fun. I've been sober for a few years now, but I wasn't then. But, yeah, I had trouble with that. I had trouble with that all the way through college and school and marriage and all the other. V stuck with me, but she'd had enough. Yeah, I remember that. I remember one or two times, if you understand. Out of Alpha Psi? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. I got thrown out of there for a semester. As far as I know, I'm the only person who ever did. Just drinking probably related, right? Yeah. You remember we had those rodeos that was bringing in $40,000 a year. Yeah. And that was back at the turn of the century. That was a lot of money back then. Yeah. They're bringing in a lot of money, but you can't. There's only so much you're supposed to be able to do as the announcement of one of those rodeos. A wet T-shirt contest went too far. These girls do want to win. That's cool. It gets very competitive. I think. It made the city paper at Auburn that, of course, goes to the College of Pharmacy. There was a big rodeo. Thousands of people showed up. No kidding. Was the wet T-shirt contest part of the rodeo? Well, it ended up being that way because of the announcer being perverted and alcoholed up and whatever else. And, yeah, it created a problem. And then the alumni come in on it and got kicked out of the fraternity. I did not know that. I'm sorry. I didn't know that. Well, I mean, we can talk about it now. But, yeah, it was embarrassing because, you know, my wife learned about it through the city paper from Auburn. Yeah. Not from school, but, you know, the front page of the paper there was at the pharmacy school. There's a lot of embarrassing things, you know, when you're challenged. Yeah. No, I get it. I get it. I luckily don't have that, but I've had a lot of friends that have. And, you know, I know that there's a lot of compromises in life that happen as a result of having made some mistakes. And, you know, I get it. I don't want to take over your show, but I just wonder, I was going to ask you, you think the, what are the other mistakes that you run into with veterinarians? You've talked to a lot of veterinarians. I got to tell you, people don't share that part of them. They'll tell you the funny stories. And I don't mind listening sober, and I'm open to listening. But people don't share that part of them. Yeah. And it's a shame. And it's a shame. And I don't know, I'm open to suggestion, because I think it's, I don't know. Honestly, Paul, it's out there. We end up with people who, you know, some of whom can jump through all the hoop academically and pass all those challenges, but that doesn't mean that they're necessarily emotionally equipped to deal with life. And I think personally what's hard is, I mean, I, and so you get into the suicide question, which I was going to ask you about at some point. And, I mean, I don't know, maybe before I go into it, you tell me what your opinion is on that and why you think. The truth is, as far as I can tell, in this profession, you do see people at their best. You see people at their worst, but you also, because of the emotional attachment that people have towards animals, it's very emotionally charged, this business. There's not, it's not like buying gasoline. Right. You just don't do that. It's emotionally charged, this profession is. People are very pitted. And you see that some people that are so kind when they're hurting and other people who are so mean. You are so right. So I think it does. I think that it does bear out the soul of the person. I think it bears out what's within your heart. Yeah. If you're just a nasty person within. Yeah. I think that that person who's causing a scene in life. Those are the ones that you go home with, too, by the way, speaking of suicide. You don't remember the 99 you just had fun with all day. You went home with the one who got under your skin. Yeah. Or under your staff's skin. So you're bearing the burden for not just you. Yeah. But your staff and your business is just like your child. You've created something that you're very protective of. Yeah. And to have people not understand how genuine you truly are and you sincerely are trying. Yeah. As many as bats as you have, Alex, you're going to strike out on some of them. Yeah. Well, even if you didn't strike out the perception by people, you struck out, you know, it's easy to get the perception because the case didn't go well. And maybe it's not even easy for them to understand why it didn't go well. And half the time, it's because they decided to wait two weeks to bring it in the year. They decided not to run that extra test and your hands were tied. And there's people it's frustrating. And sometimes we do just miss something. We make mistakes. We're busy. No, not for lack of Karen. It's just, you know, it's like football. It's full contact sport, you know, shit happens and sometimes it happens on a really busy day. That's another thing is you do get overworked. Yeah. I try to make it a point to, and I say this often, I may be wrong, but I want to be honest. I can make a mistake, but I want to be honest. And that gets you through a lot. I like that. I may be wrong, but I want to be honest. We want to do good by people. We want people to leave there. This is our baby, this business. And this is, these are our people that are fighting in the trenches next to us that we know we're trying and they're imperfect and we're imperfect, but we're a team over here for better or worse. And when somebody comes away talking shit about us, the other nine team that we saw that day that were just great, great people, great animals that went well, or maybe didn't go well, but people understand. Yeah. And that one is the one that just gets underneath us because we couldn't make that one work out and we carry it with us. You're a hundred percent right. Now those stories can go on all night. You understand that? Because those are the ones I remember so well, being woken up in the middle of the night to get your butt chewed out over something that you, that is most asinine. You understand those, those just absolutely cross you. But you can't focus on that or you will, you will end up in a, in a slump. And I think the older you get, you do get a thicker skin. Do you feel like you struggle with that? Have you struggled with being in a slump? Yeah. Where you just get under your skin and you sort of, it's kind of hard to get work the next day because you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, that happens to me. I don't know if it's burnout or, you know, what you call it, but fortunately not, not very often. But yeah, it's, there are times where you think, gosh, I really need a break. Yeah. When you spoke to you earlier as vacation, it's not, it's not really a break because you've still got, you've still got the clinic on your mind and what's going on back there. And you never get rid of that. I'm not complaining. I hope that I hope we didn't fill into a rut here, but no, you asked me about why the profession is, it's the highly per ratio, I guess, there's more suicide in veterinary medicine than there is any, any profession. Isn't there used to be. That's what they say. That's what they say. But man, I think you nailed it. And I don't hear people say that that way. Right. It is emotionally charged. I, we're, we have a pretty busy practice. And there are days when we, it is not uncommon for us to euthanize a couple of dogs a day. That's right. We're also going to see two or three or four puppies that morning. It's just circle of life all day, you know, and at the end of the day, somebody's coming in and we've been taking care of that dog for six months or a year and nursing it along. And then the other ones that we haven't seen at all, and you probably should have been seeing this one a couple of times, could have made it a little nicer. The last few months could have been a little more pleasant for it. So that's not easy either on the staff or on us, because we'd like to help these guys, but we can only help them as much as they can help us. But it's emotionally charged. And you go from one room where these people are so happy with their puppy and these other people are so grateful that things went well. And then all of a sudden you walk in and Mrs. Jones is unhappy because that cornea hasn't healed. And it's been three weeks and it's cost her X number of dollars. And then you go in and here's another one. You've been taking care of that animal and, and now it's sick. And you know, it's been three weeks and it's cost her X number of dollars. And then you go in and here's another one. You've been taking care of that animal and, and now it's sick. And you know, they've got to let it go and it's a family member and it's just, for emotional people, it's a rollercoaster, isn't it? Well, for anybody who has a life because you have other things going on in your life that they're not aware of, the other things that you're challenged with, you've got a family, you've got employees, you've got to make the whole thing work. You know, you're the last one there to get paid. There's a lot on your mind besides what's going on in the, in the exam room. It just takes its toll, I think on some. Yeah. I think family troubles would be the worst. I think that would be something that I think that's the hardest times in life or family troubles. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I agree. There was a lady years ago brought in a, I don't remember if there were two gerbils or hamsters in a box and a little girl, just a little girl, four year old, maybe. She said, they've been sick for a while and they're just, just not as all there is. I reached into the box and picked one up and this thing took his last breath before I even cleared the box with it. I look at the mother, I can't believe what's just happened to me. And she says, did he just die? Did he just die? I said, he did. The little girl says, well, don't you touch the other one. So. Yeah. So it all comes full circle. There's fun to be had. Yeah. Is that, is that when the young man popped in around, don't let Dr. Jaco touch that one. He won't be able to touch that one either. I, you know, it's funny, Paul, because I, I mean, I hope you don't mind our sharing this. You shared with me and we can decide later how much you want to really share about this. But I find that people who have had problems with alcohol, and I kind of had a sense because I was, I mean, I remember that Alpha Psi rodeo and that was, that was an embarrassing moment. And, and I, that was really more than any other time, but I kind of had a sense that sometimes you drank a little more than you needed to. And, and you got a little upset with you. I wasn't around it that much, but that was kind of my sense. And, but I find that some of the people who are the struggle with stopping at two or three and keep going to 10 or 12, they tend to be really emotional people that have a lot. And some people have trauma. Some don't have trauma. They just, they're just built emotional, you know? And, and I think they have kind of a harder time in some cases managing their emotions a little bit, but they love, I mean, God damn they love as much as anybody you'll ever meet. They don't always show it, but there's so much there for those people. And so it's interesting because, you know, in vet school, you're the funniest, most sarcastic, just, I've never met anybody with one liners like you. And so you go, well, Jacob, he's all jokes, you know, he's all jokes, but there's a lot of substance there, man. And, and, and life can beat you down when you live out loud and you drink a bit much and, and, you know, you, you take your licks, you take your lumps along the way and you learn from them. Right. I think. And that's exactly right. I think there's a good person under there that feels so much, you know? Well, there's truth in that. I do. I do carry things, but yeah, I mean, I think what you said is right, but, it's, there would be any way of convincing people who have other opinions of me that, that, yeah, there's a, things do matter to me. I'll tell you the truth. Uh, being, uh, trying to keep things light and whatever. If I hurt somebody's feelings, it really, really hurts me. It, it destroys me. It does everybody. It does everybody. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,