24th April Full Show - Medieval Flatulist

People are discussing Anzac Day and the history of Dubbo in connection to the Anzacs. There is a debate about Arj Barker removing a lady from a theater because her baby was causing a disturbance. The local Facebook groups in Dubbo are filled with interesting content. There is a story about a medieval jester who was rewarded with a house and land for his flatulence displays. There is a dispute between neighbors over dog poo that escalated into a physical fight and one neighbor even wielded a samurai sword. A man attempted to rob a service station wearing underwear on his head. There was a disturbance at a fast food restaurant caused by a man swinging his colostomy bag around, spraying its contents everywhere. It's breakfast on 927ZOO. Good morning. We go again. Short week this week. We won't be here tomorrow. Anzac Day. Speaking of Anzac Day, however, coming in later this morning, Sean Graham, who's the president of the Dubbo RSL sub-branch, coming in to speak about Anzac Day tomorrow. Hopefully, I'm going to end up asking a couple of questions about the sort of history in Dubbo in the connection to the Anzacs and see what the history is there. Coming up next, however, another golden egg has been laid in one of the community, the local community Facebook groups, as it always is, and it's just something else. It is seriously something else. I get joy and horror whenever I open one of the local Facebook pages. See ya. ZOO.FM. Follow you down, quarter past six, ZOO.FM Breakfast, your home of Dubbo's best music from the 80s to now. Top of 24 in Wellington today. Currently 12 degrees, going to be partly cloudy. This whole thing with Arj Barker and him extraditing a lady out of the hall, the show, the theatre, probably a better word for it, supposedly because her baby was making a nuisance in the audience. The whole thing is a storm in a teacup. I can't believe the news is actually continuing this morning. People are still debating in publications about whether it was justified or not. The whole thing is ridiculous. Just even the fact that it made the news, I can't even believe it. If someone is causing a disturbance in an audience at a performance, no matter what sort of performance it is, it's distracting and it's rude. Rude's probably not the word because it wasn't intentional, but it's probably disingenuous to the other people in the audience. Anyway, on a lighter note, the local community Facebook groups, an absolute hive of golden content every moment of the day, in every regard, every time you open one of them, it's like, oh, what am I in for this time? A post was made yesterday afternoon, a video was actually shared to one of the local community groups on Facebook, and it says here, work smarter, not harder. It's some video of people just laying pipe into the ground, like a big cylindrical pipe, but the thing is that the person on the post, why this was shared to a Dubbo Facebook group, I don't even know, but anyway, the caption that this person's put on the post when they've shared it into the Dubbo Facebook group is, are you ready to say goodbye to tube insertion struggles? Tube insertion struggles. Are there many people in Dubbo with tube insertion struggles? I'm not sure if I have tube insertion struggles. Tube excavation struggles in the morning? Definitely not. What a strange phrase. That sounds like something on one of those health ads that's involved in if you can't get it up or down. Maybe that's garage doors. Maybe I'm getting them confused. Fascinating. I definitely recommend checking out the community groups. It's either complaining or spam. Nothing in between. Zoo FM breakfast jam at Dubbo's. Best music from the 80s to now for your Wednesday morning. Top of 24 in Gilgandra today. Currently 12. Going to be partly cloudy. If you've ever considered whether, you know, you deserve the perks and benefits, you know, alongside the job you're currently doing, a slight gift on the side maybe. I'll give you an example from a bloke back in the year 1199. Or is that 1199? I don't know. A year a long time ago is the premise here. And I'll see after I tell you this if you change your mind on whether you deserve perks and benefits from your workplace. Roland LeFartere was a bloke who lived in medieval England and he was tasked with being King Richard I's jester. So he was a jester. He was one of the people who wore those hats with the bells on the end of it pointing out in every direction. The thing being, King Richard requested that Roland do exactly as what his full name suggested. Roland LeFartere would show up at the castle and perform. I'm going to have to try and pronounce this. This is absolutely, this is something else. He was requested to perform Amum Sultum et Siffletum et Amum Bumbleum. What a term. I have no idea what the choice is. Apparently the translation is one jump, one whistle and one fart. That's what that incredibly complex sentence translates to. And that's what King Richard I requested Roland do. He was King Richard I's on-demand farter, if there's such a thing. His job description in history books, official documentation is literally listed as a medieval flatulist. I want that on a business card. I want that to be what I present to someone without my contact details. King Richard loved Roland's flatulence displays so much that he actually gifted him a house and 99 acres of land in East England for being a medieval flatulist. So next time I'm guessing, if you're considering whether you deserve perks and benefits from your workplace, maybe just start farting in front of your boss. Official advice from Zoo FM. See you Wednesday morning. Choir boys, run to paradise. It's your home of Dubbo's best music from the 80s to now. Keegan with you. Cheers for your company. Slightly crisp outside this morning. Sam Feldt, it's ten minutes to seven. Zoo FM breakfast for your Wednesday morning. Keegan with you. It's over 24 degrees today in Wellington. Currently 12 at the moment. It's going to be partly cloudy today. It should be sunny right across the weekend. Tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, Sunday... Must have just destroyed the weather. Anyway, it's going to be sunny, is what I was attempting to say there. If you've ever had a dispute with one of your neighbours that's gone absolutely sour, I've got an example here for you that'll make you feel 100% more justified in your actions that you didn't go overboard. It doesn't mean that you're allowed to go overboard next time, but anyway, a lady and her closest next-door neighbour in the UK, they've recently, they've been at arms over what is essentially just a dispute about dog poo turning up on either of their lawns. Obviously, that's something to have an argument about. The self-titled dog doo-doo gate has been going on for multiple weeks and even escalated into a slapping contest on the footpath at one point. What an absolute travesty. Things seem sour, but, of course, that's still remotely contained. It was until one of the neighbours got into a fistfight with other individuals on the street, still over disagreements about dog poo, but anyway, they started punching on on the street. One of them was punched in the face. Another neighbour had their hair pulled out and a third neighbour was thrown into a garden bed at speed. Absolutely launched through the hedges. And this seems bad enough, alright? This is when you know things have gone a bit sideways and you need to calm down. You need to take a step back, have a breath. No, they didn't do that. A fourth neighbour emerged ready for combat armed with a samurai sword. A full-length, genuine samurai sword. May I remind you this is an argument over dog poo, what has been titled dog doo-doo gate. You know what? People having a fistfight out front? I'll take a samurai sword. When their dispute is over dog poo, the limit of conflict is obviously thermonuclear bombs. The samurai sword in comparison, quite minor. Quite minor to the actual, the ceiling of combat that's allowed. Nickelback, it's Zoo FM Breakfast. Keep them with you. Black Eyed Peas, quarter past seven. Zoo FM Breakfast is kicking with you. Wednesday morning on your home of Dubbo's best music from the 80s to now. Double 24 degrees today in Narramine. Currently 12. Going to be cloudy, sunny tomorrow and sunny right across the weekend itself as well. Now, I found this story from the place I originally resided in in South Sydney before I came to Dubbo. And the only reason I bring it up is just because of what the person responsible for the event, or allegedly responsible, charged was wearing at the time. Someone walked into a service station, attempted to rob the joint with a knife. The thing being he demanded cash, yadda, yadda, yadda. He was wearing underwear on his head. His method of disguise was to put a pair of boxes on his head. He walked into the service station. Normally they're a bit more sophisticated with a balaclava or something, not a pair of underwear. I'm really hoping he wasn't wearing them beforehand and decided, well, what can I use? Oh, it's already on my person. I'll just whip off the knickers and put them on my head. He was charged with robbery, armed with an offensive implement. I'm guessing the offensive implement was the fact he was wearing his used underwear on his head. Lovely attire. Next time you go to, like, a black tie event, maybe just wear your underwear on your head. 25 past 7, Zoo FM Breakfast, your home of Dubbo's best music from the 80s to now. Amy Shark there. Top of 24 degrees today in Trangie. Currently 17. It'll be partly cloudy today. And lovely weather ahead. Disturbances at takeaway stores, you know, and restaurants. It's just a quick way to ruin a nice meal. I tell you right now, I'm going to go and have a rant for about five minutes. Normally it's someone of some sort of substance is responsible or, you know, an argument between two patrons getting out of hand. But the whole concept of a public disturbance has been turned on its head recently, and this is just something else. A call came over the police radio in the States requesting backup for a biohazard caused by a disturbance at a popular fast food restaurant. Biohazard. I mean, it already sounds bad enough. A bloke had gone off his absolute rocker and he detached his colostomy bag and he was swinging it around on the tether like a cowboy's lasso in the takeaway restaurant. His colostomy bag. Spraying the contents all over the restaurant, all over the walls. Bits flying everywhere like a confetti cannon. I cannot imagine a more truer image of the landscape of hell than that description. The poor police officers, you'd think, they really had to go up against what is essentially a public toilet version of Woody from Toy Story. The horror. Absolute and utter horror. So next time you go to a fast food restaurant and you're slightly displeased with the service, don't turn into that bloke. Or maybe you don't have a colostomy bag to do it with. Casso, Ray, Europe, Prada. Hunters and Collectors, it's your Wednesday morning here on ZooFM. About 20 minutes to 8, 24 degrees today, and now I'm currently 12. Sean Graham, the president of the Dubbo RSL sub-branch, joining us this morning. Cheers for taking the time to come on the show. Thank you for having me. Anzac Day tomorrow. Are there any sort of commemoration services coming together and how are they coming together around the area? Yep, so in Dubbo, we've got the dawn service. So if you're there for about 5.30, we'll probably kick off just after that. That'll culminate just after 6 o'clock. And then for the veterans and their families, it's breakfast down at the RSL. Then we come back for the march. We'll kick off just after 10 o'clock and go down Windjewarra, down Macquarie Street, then up to Albuquerque onto Memorial Drive. And commence the service probably about quarter to 11, to 11 o'clock at the centre. Brilliant. Just a question out of my own curiosity. Is there any significant history in regards to Dubbo's connection with the Anzacs and their legacy? Heaps, heaps. So right from the outset of the Great War, which kicked off in 1914, many young men around Dubbo and the wider area came into Dubbo to join. Huge. And we've got over 240 names that reside in the cenotaph as our fallen. And that's very significant for our town and for our area. Brilliant. Right. That's just fascinating. Of course, I've come from south of Sydney, so I wasn't aware of that. And that is actually very interesting. I hear you yourself actually served. Could you tell us a bit about that? So I joined the Army in 1988, went to the Royal Regiment of Australian Artillery and posted around the regiments there, served overseas on about five operations. So, yeah, it was a good time. A lot of dark times, but hats off to my soldiers and to my officers. Brilliant bunch of men and women. Yeah, couldn't have asked for more to have served alongside them. What age were you when you actually signed up? 18. Just turned 18. Wow, alright. What was the reason that made you decide to sign up? Well, my mum took me to an open day at the North Head Barracks, which was artillery, and I saw on that open day, and that was in 1975, I saw a particular job being an artillery forward observer and I wanted to do that. And that's what I did. What's involved in being an artillery forward observer? So you go out with infantry and armour and you're embedded with them and you're responsible for the coordination of all offensive and defensive fires. So from fast jets, navy guns and our own artillery and mortars. Right, OK. So when it comes to the artillery, what do they call them, batteries is the term? Batteries is the correct term. They sit back and you're the one actually up front coordinating where they should strike. Exactly. Right, OK, fascinating. Well, from your perspective as someone who served, what does Anzac Day mean to you? Personally, it's a day for me to reflect, specifically for me, for the guys that I served with, for my soldiers and the officers that I served with. But when you break it down even further, it's about the commemoration of the 103,000 Australians whose names are on the War Memorial Walls of Remembrance. And that's the whole reason for the day, is to commemorate their sacrifice and what they did for our country. When Anzac Day comes around every year, you hear the words 2 Up. Now, I don't know whether I'm ill-informed, but I actually don't know the history behind the game of 2 Up. Do you know where it's actually come from? No, look, I actually don't know the origins of it, but it is legal on Anzac Day. And even it's played now on Remembrance Day as well. But, yeah, particularly for Anzac Day, they legalise gambling, so to speak. And, look, I think you'd be hard up to find a pub or an RSL around the country that's not playing it on Anzac Day. 100%, which is why I'm surprised they've never actually understood the mechanics of it, because it's everywhere. It is one of the main events when people head to the pubs and the clubs afterwards. Indeed. Just before I let you go, I mean, educational systems are changing constantly. They've changed tenfold since I left high school and primary school. What would you tell someone who's young and, you know, only just learning about the world about the importance of learning about the history and commemoration of the Anzacs and the reason for Anzac Day? Yeah, it needs to be remaining in the school system, and we need to teach our younger generation. So, in longevity, we keep that memory alive. And down in the detail of all the places, right from the Maori wars right through to modern day, we need to impart that information onto the children so they understand, and hopefully, if they grow up into positions of power, that they're smart enough to try and avoid war at all costs. 100%, mate. Well, thank you for coming in this morning, Sean, and thank you as well for your service. Thank you. Check out ZOOFM on Facebook for more. Bon Jovi, it's ZOOFM Breakfast. Ten-minute fast day for your Wednesday morning. Top of 24 degrees right across the region today. Claire joins us again this morning for the What's On. Good morning. Good morning, Keegan. How are you? I'm all right. You weren't here last week. I was away. I thought you just blacklisted the show or something. No. We had Lana in. That was brilliant. Now, it's going to be a very big day tomorrow, a lot of services going on, I imagine. What's happening? Sure is. Lots happening tomorrow. So, obviously, Anzac Day tomorrow. For those people in Dubbo, if you're wanting to get up nice and early and pay your respects, you could head down to the dawn service. It begins at 5.45 at the Cenotaph at Victoria Park. That's just on Darling Street there. We've also got the march in service for those who might want to have a little bit of a sleep in. So that kicks off at 9.45. They're asking people to gather at 9.45. And the march will begin at 10. So if you just want to meet everyone at the Dubbo RSL at the front on Brisbane Street, and then the march will go down, begin at 10am, and it'll proceed to the Cenotaph at Victoria Park for the 10.30 service. Brilliant. Something that actually came to mind over the last couple of minutes is when we were in the heist of COVID, which I'm sure a lot of people don't want to remember, but when it was Anzac Day, I think it must have been 2020, possibly, when we were in the proper midst of it and everywhere was locked down, people were encouraged to do their driveway dawn services where you'd go out the front of your house and you'd stand there and you'd listen to the dawn service done over the radio. And the one thing I remember from that was you could actually hear, I think it was the bugle echoing with the last post as well afterwards, through the streets. Oh, how spectacular is that? Even though we were all stuck in our homes, it still was a remarkable day nonetheless. Wow, that's amazing. Absolutely fantastic. Well, luckily we're no longer locked down. I think most people would agree with you on that one. Yes. Also, if you're wanting to know what's happening in Wellington, they will also be having a dawn service and the ex-servicemen and women will assemble at the Soldiers Memorial Club at 5.45 and then they will march down to Cameron Park for a 6am dawn service. And then there will also be a march in service and will begin on the corner of Lee and Gisborne Street and those taking part in the march are to gather from 10.25 but then the march will begin at 10.45 and then the march will proceed to the centre taf at Cameron Park for the 10.55 service. We're on military time here. And then there will also be a dusk service in Wellington and it will commence at Cameron Park at 10.30. Absolutely fantastic. There's also lots of services happening in the villages and if you want to know about all the different services or road closes, changes in traffic, all of the above, you can visit the Civic Events and Ceremonies page on Council's website. It has it all listed there for you to check out. So that's what's happening tomorrow. What's happening over the weekend. And then over the weekend there's still a lot happening. We've got some markets going on so if you want to go and check out some markets either in Wellington or Dubbo, on Saturday morning you can head to Cameron Park in Wellington for the Rotary Market. That's always a beautiful day out there in Cameron Park. On Sunday we also have the Dubbo Rotunda Market at Church Street Rotunda and they're both from 8 to 1pm. And also on Saturday night at the Dubbo Regional Theatre and Convention Centre, the Orescon will be having the Harmony Week Gala Night. So that's a really good opportunity for everyone to come together and celebrate the cultural diversity of Dubbo and all being one. So it kicks off at 5pm at the theatre. There is actually a good collection of cultural events that go on out here. Oh, so many. It's amazing. We've got such a multicultural community here in Dubbo so it's really great to celebrate everyone who lives here. 100%. Well, is that it for the weekend? That's all that's happening There is more happening, of course. Oh, there's always something happening. The headlines. If you want to check out what is happening across the region you can head to dubboregion.com.au and check out everything that's going on or if you want to know what's happening and get it in your inbox every Thursday you can subscribe to our newsletter. And if you just want to head to our social media pages and click on the link in the bio you can subscribe to that newsletter. Fantastic. Thank you, Clare. We'll chat next week. Thanks for having me. Cheers. You're on Zoo's Breakfast. Davichi SOS. Almost 25 minutes past 8. See you Wednesday morning. Zoo FM Breakfast. Keegan with you. Top of 24 degrees today in Wellington. Currently 12. It's going to be partly cloudy today. Getting slow slightly on the Mitchell Highway between Dubbo and Wellington at the moment outside of One Garden. Slowing down slightly. It'll add a couple of minutes to your travel time this morning. To my surprise, hospitals across the country they're now pleading with people to bring snakes into emergency wards. If you haven't heard about this already. And people aren't actually bringing the snakes in as a pet on a leash. That's not the idea. Following a snake bite, it's apparently been like a general misconception that you're supposed to take the snake into the hospital for identification so they can tell, you know, what type bit you and what to administer. I'm obviously not a doctor. I have no idea what I'm talking about. And I don't know, I seriously don't know who in the world is keen on grabbing a snake off the ground after it's just bitten you and stuffing it into a plastic takeaway container. But anyway, it does seem to be happening somehow. Nurses and doctors have come out to make people aware that they're actually not trained to identify what type of snake it is that you bring in. Which makes sense considering they don't work at a zoo. They work in a hospital. And fun fact, it turns out, you know, different to spiders, general snake anti-venom is available that works for absolutely any sort of snake bite, anyone at all. But, of course, the side effects, they may be slightly more severe if they use the general anti-venom. And that's about as far as my medical knowledge goes. And I'd, personally, I'd probably trade vomiting from the anti-venom instead of having to stuff the snake that bit me into a Woolworths everyday cardboard grocery bag. That seems slightly more complicated. James Blunt, see you. Wrapping up Zoo FM breakfast for you. Wednesday morning, it's been Keegan with you. A couple of minutes to nine o'clock. Top of 24 in Dubbo today and in Cobar. Weather following the local and national news. A couple of minutes away. If you've missed anything on the show this week, any previous weeks, at any point in the past, write back to The Creation of Civilisation. You can always go to the podcast and catch up. It's on Spotify, it's on Google Podcasts. Just stick in Zoo FM, the logo should come up. You can also head to zoofm.net.au and head over to the podcast section. You ready to go to work? Here's next.