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Joe dips his toes into the dark romance waters and finds out what happens when two guys and a girl spend an afternoon on a giant raft. And Issy forgets where Triple Falls is because she was more focused on the SPICE than where it was happening.
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Joe dips his toes into the dark romance waters and finds out what happens when two guys and a girl spend an afternoon on a giant raft. And Issy forgets where Triple Falls is because she was more focused on the SPICE than where it was happening.
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Hello and welcome to WTF is My Wife Reading with Izzy and Joe on tonight's episode. We are finally going to introduce Joe to dark romance. This is just going to be dipping your toe in the dark romance waters. It gets way darker than this, but this is a good intro and a lot of people have been asking me to have you read this book, so we have to give them what they want. Okay, so what the fuck is this? What are we reading here tonight? This is the greatest series ever written. Okay, so it is Flock by Kate Stewart. This is book one of the Raven Hood series, one of my all-time favorite series ever. I read this back in January and I'm still thinking about it. It's a book I'll reread, a series I'll reread. You can't give too much away because some books are better to go in blind and this series is definitely one that you do want to go in blind. The cover of the book even says, Can You Keep a Secret? Wait, where's that? Oh, at the top there? Yeah. So, even after you finish book one, you still don't fully know the secret. So, we can talk about book one, but we're not going to do books two and three. What's Raven Hood? What is this? Is that like... That's part of the thing. I can't tell you. Oh. Can you tell the listeners or is this like at the end of all this? You kind of find out towards the end of the book. Okay. So, book one is called The Raven Hood Trilogy and book one is Flock. So, basically, yeah, you should go into the entire trilogy blind because it's about keeping a secret. It's really good to read it that way. But for book one, what I can tell you is it is the story of Cecilia. She's like 19 years old and she is sent to live with her estranged father who's very, very wealthy. Where does this take place? In Triple Falls, like on the East Coast. What is that? Virginia or West Virginia. Something like that. Which one? I don't remember. There are two different Virginias here. Let's just say East Coast. Okay. So, she hasn't seen her dad basically her whole life. Last time she was there, she was like 10 or 11 and then he never had her back. So, he's very estranged, but her mom had a breakdown and she has to go live with her dad and it also ties into her inheritance. If she lives with him for a year and works for his company for a year, she can have her inheritance. Wait. So, was he rich when he left? He's always been rich. I thought he got rich and he was like, I bitched to you. No, no. He's always been rich. Okay. Okay. So, she gets to this cute little small town and she meets Sean who is charismatic, sexy. Sean. Okay. He works for her dad and he kind of brings her into his group of friends because she has no one and she's this girl that hasn't really done much, hasn't experienced many guys and he kind of takes her under his wing, but obviously he's going to seduce her because she wants to live it up. She's basically kept to herself her whole life and tried to be really good for her mom because her mom has a lot of stuff going on. Wait. Where did they live before? I don't know. Didn't say? I can't remember. Really? It's not important. She wasn't with her dad before. She was with her mom. Anyways, Sean takes her under his wing and she starts hanging out with his crowd and it's a lot of fast cars, tattoos. He works for her dad, but he also works at a car shop too. He's got two jobs? Yes. And there's a lot more to it. There's a lot of secrets. Sean has a big secret. They do a lot of stuff in the night and you don't really know what he's doing, but it's really good. Ends on a cliffhanger, so you always have to have book two ready. This is Cecilia's Journey into Sean's World. This book I gave five stars for Chili Peppers. It is really spicy because it's not just Sean and Cecilia. There's a whole other characters and it's super, super hot. I guess we'll get to it, but I got some questions. I feel like your questions are going to get answered. I'm just saying, what is his job with her dad? He's kind of like a supervisor on the factory line. So they work for her, okay. Yeah. And he works at a car shop on the side? Yeah. His best buddy has a car repair shop and so he does that too. Actually, really, I think he just goes there. His buddy does it more. But they all drive these really souped up old-fashioned cars and do drag races and all that kind of stuff. And she goes to them. We call them meetups. Like sexual meetups? Not sexual meetups. I mean, maybe sex happens at them. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised with this group of guys, but you know. Okay, okay. She lives in her dad's McMansion. I actually think it's like a legit mansion, not a McMansion. And he's not really there. He's there for a little bit, but he doesn't know how to be around her because she didn't really grow up as his daughter. He's more of like... It's a very sexual book, is what you're saying. It's going to get there, yeah. But her dad is not really there. He kind of is like, okay, this is the house. I don't know how to be around you. I'm going to go stay in this apartment in some other city. That's totally cool because that's the last thing you want in a book. It's like... A dad around? Your dad around when you're getting freaky. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, no, I'm going to do it. Dad being like, hey, you know, stick around the whole book and see what you do. No, there's so much more to it, but I can't really explain it without giving away the secret because the whole book is a secret. So you're going to read it and you get like little bits and you're like, oh, okay. But even after the first book ends, you know more. But book two is where you find out everything. It's into a relationship with Sean, who's this bad boy with a secret and a group of friends. Does he have a heart of gold? He really does. He's a sweet guy and he just really wants to make the world better. He doesn't trust the government and all that. He's really into helping the poor and fighting the rich and things like that. So he's Robin Hood. A sexual Robin Hood, if you will. He's a sexy Robin Hood, maybe. Okay. With his boys. Not just him. I mean, Robin Hood's just sexy in general, let's be honest. Have you ever seen a Robin Hood movie that's not attractive? I mean, they're wearing tights. I mean, Robin Hood men in tights. Oh, get out of here. I wasn't like, ooh. Are you serious? No. That's Robin Hood. I love that Robin Hood. That's a great movie, but I was not turned on by said Robin Hood. Oh, man. Sorry. It doesn't do it for me. Is that the only one? I feel like all the other Robin Hoods are pretty good looking, though. Isn't Kevin Costner a Robin Hood? Fuck yeah, he was. I mean, he was a good Robin Hood. He's a fucking badass Robin Hood. Okay. It's a Disney one. I never saw the Disney one, but obviously. I never saw the Disney one. Isn't that like a fox? Or is it a bear? I think it's a fox. Either way, he's a fox. Oh, man. I want you to read so much of this. A sexual fox. I might have to read more than one chapter because... A chapter? I'm not reading a fucking chapter. Let's set the stage. Okay? All right. Let's do it. So, her and Sean have like finally hooked up. Their first time was... Their first time like sexual was like near a waterfall, and that was really hot. It was on her birthday. Wait, are we not reading that? No. The first fuck? Because this is... This is way better. All right. It's this fuck. So, she can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. She can't sleep. So, she can't stand his roommate Dom, and he's like, you and Dom need to get along. Like, he's my boy. You guys got to be friends. And so, they all drive out to like, they're going to go hang out on a raft all day. Like a giant raft. Like, picture like bigger than our ping pong table. And he's like, let's just go hang out on the raft, and like we're just going to have a day together. She's like, I don't want to hang out with him. I can't stand him. With a name like Dom. I can't understand. Dominic. So, Dominic and Sean. So, she really actually has a crush on Dom. What's Dom look like? What's Sean look like? Sean's like sunshine. Actually, she calls him sunshine and cedar. So, he's like, you know, like the golden boy. Blonde hair. Tan. Golden boy looking. Okay. What does she look like, though? She's got brown hair. She's a brunette. I mean, I'm full dorado. So, okay. I always picture her as Alexandria Daddario. You know that chick? Yes, I do. I love her. Like, she is hot. That's who I picture for Cecilia. So, picture her for Cecilia. Okay. What about the guys? I don't know who the guys are. I can't picture them. I mean, I don't know their name. I can't picture, like, who they are, like the actors. People have posted, like, pictures. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty close. So, like, Dom has dark hair, like gray eyes. Definitely more like my type than Sean. Okay. So, I was always like, yeah, whatever. All right. So, they're on the raft. The three of them. The three of them are on the raft. Don't like where this is going. I'm going to start off with that. You have to read it no matter what. That's fine. I mean, I'm going to, yeah. No, give these back to you, or don't give these back to you. I mean, I like the first one better, but yeah, good. Okay. Starting there. How far am I going? You're going to go real far into it. You're going to go deep. She said. Super deep. That's what she said. Oh, man. Right. So, they're on the raft. They're on the raft. Nothing's happened yet? This is like a big-ass raft. Yes, nothing has happened yet. Wouldn't that just be a boat? No. Just read. I don't understand this. They're on a big boat. Big raft. Not a boat. Not a boat. It's a boat now. It's a raft. All right. The thunder grows closer, and I know I should be worried about the coming storm, but I can't stop staring at Dominic. He's still waiting for a decision. Wait, what decision are we talking about? It's like. Like, what happened before all this? We don't know anything about this decision. So, like, before this, like, he starts kind of, like, kissing her and, like, trailing his fingers up her back. What the fuck does Noah do to that? And Sean was like, you're going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. 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I didn't think about that. Okay. How did you forget that there's someone down there? I'm just saying like, oh, cool. This guy's putting his thumb in my mouth. I'm fucking... Gosh, against the wall. I'm going to shoot one of them. They're over stimulated right now. I can tell. His nose tickling my clit before he moves up and begins furiously licking it. I move to toss my head back, riding his mouth. But Dominic's still there. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. 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I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I'm going to kiss her. I look between the two of them, their eyes worshipping, their mouths moving with curses and filthy words. In a small shift, Dominic lifts his knees, keeping us connected with my back anchored on the float. There you go. Go right here. All right. Sean backs away, watching me unravel as Dominic thrusts in once, twice, and then groans deeply with his release. Wait. He already came? He just came. I like how this went. Spent. He's done. I look down, strong biceps next to me, and he kisses me with endless seconds before pulling out and away, crashing onto his back, his chest pumping in exertion. And then Sean is there, kissing my deep, his hunger unfathomable as he pulls me onto him. His legs spread, my back onto his front. Okay. Wait. What? Hold on. Oh, okay. I saw fists, and I was like, oh, this is going too far. He fists my hair, pulling my head back to rest on his shoulder as he lines me up and thrusts up into me. Wait. So Dom's out, and the other guy's coming in now? Yep. Ugh. Basic. Fucking gross, Sean. Come on, bro. The question, my friends and I were like, how is she able to walk the next day? Is that what guys are thinking? They're like, cool. You just fucked this girl. I guess I'm going in now, too. I would never do that. That's disgusting. Okay. But you're married, so obviously. I'm just saying. These guys are young guys. This is like, ugh. No, thank you. No, thank you. I'm not trying to get sloppy seconds. I cry out at the evasion as he fucks me ruthlessly, spreading me over his lap, my clit throbbing in the open air. A lot of throbbing going on here. A lot of throbbing. His free hand covering me, starting at my breasts and then sliding down my navel to where we connect. He circles my clit with his finger as he hammers into me, his mouth ravaging mine as he thrusts and thrusts. I catch my second wind, grabbing myself into him, consumed in a haze of lust. She's fucked up. He tears his mouth. She's having a good time. I know. She tears his mouth from mine? I guess. That's gross. Blink down at Dominic, whose eyes blaze as they roll down my body with fresh desire. Wait, where the fuck is Dominic? He's just laying there like. It feels so good. Sean murmurs, tense, his orgasm close. I cover his working fingers with mine and in seconds I come between our efforts, my eyes fastening on Dominic just as Sean grunts out his release. Wait, so she's fucking this dude and I'm looking over at the guy she just thugged. Is that what happens? I mean. Is that true? Spoilers for next book. Go ahead. I refer Dominic to Sean, so I'm just going to go ahead and stick with it. We clasp on the float, our breath's erratic limbs tangled as just as the thunder sounds farther away in the distance. The storm missed us entirely. Did it though? Did it? I feel like there's a storm on that boat. It's a raft. It. It's a fucking boat. Raft. Oh man. Do they ever fuck at the same time? No. So they take turns. They take turns. This is the only time it happens when the three of them are together. Then they just kind of share her. Like she kind of like will be with Dom and then she'll be with Sean. But this is the only time they actually do it together. It's kind of throttled. It's a throttle. I don't get it, honestly. I don't get it. I don't know how that's hot for you. I mean, honestly, I guess it's hot for me if it was me and two girls, but like we're older now, but I guess it would be, if we were younger, it'd be fine, I guess. And we're not married or I'm dead. Well, I'm saying because they're younger, obviously. I'll be dead in this scenario. And I'm younger and before I met you, yes. Is that the whole book? No. No, I'm saying like. That's like a big part of the book because originally the whole time she's like with Sean and can't stand Dom, but it's really because there's like that sexual tension. And then it's because like he wants her too. But there's so much more to it that you don't know until like with two. But Dom really, really likes her. So this is also the book. We don't have to read that scene. She like goes into his room because like she hangs out with him on like rainy days. With who? Dominic. And she reads like smutty books. And so he's like, keep reading and has her read a book while he goes down on her, which is like. Would you keep going if I was like going to town down there? I mean, if you told me to. All right. So five stars. Oh, my God. Five stars. This is a book. I love this series. Like Kate Stewart is my queen. Her other series, The Bittersweet Symphony. The Bittersweet Duet. Bittersweet Symphony Duet. I don't know. Let's go. It's drive and reverse. It's two books. And there's like a little like novella afterwards is my favorite of hers. But this was so good. It's three books. You're guessing like the whole time, like because you don't really know what's going on in book one. And then book two gets gets no more. But definitely not for everybody, because one, there's a threesome and it's like a throttle. Is that how you say that? I have no idea. And like book two totally changes gears. And you're like, whoa, whiplash. What the fuck just happened? Two girls and one guy. Well, I have lost interest. I feel like one of them dies. I don't know. Do you want to read book two? I mean, not right. I'm definitely not going to read it. But we'll do that one coming up. We can't read that one. We can't what? We can't, because you can only read the first one, because book two kind of spoils some stuff. Well, I mean, if we're literally just reading sex scenes, I think we'll be OK. If it's this girl and this guy fucking and the other one watching, I think we'll be OK. There's no spoiler alert in that one. So what do you think of your first? I mean, I'm not a fan of it. You know what I mean? Like, but if you're into it. It's the only threesome I've read. Of all the hundred and what? Forty books I've read in the last year. It's the only threesome I've read. I don't really like the threesomes, but this one was like, it was good. And it's like the chapter that everyone talks about whenever they talk about these books. It's always like 25. Yeah. Like everyone's like, Joe has to read chapter 25 as well. I don't care. And you did. You say I'm not ready for this. You're not ready for Hunting Adeline yet. Bullshit, I'm not. You're barely ready for this. You're the one who can't watch like horror movies. All right. I love people getting murdered and blood and stuff. That's not happening in Hunting Adeline. Really? Is that what I'm saying? Like, OK. That'll be our next one. Let's just get dark, and then we'll come back to light. I already have the next book picked out. All right, fine. You say that to all of these, but this is nothing compared to porn. This is just like... A guy, two guys like doing a girl where one like eats her out and then like shoved her on some other guy's dick. Shocker alert. I would not read that, and I would not watch that. So it's OK. So don't worry about that. I love you. So four chili peppers or five? Four chili peppers. Is there a book that has five? Yeah, the next one. OK, so we're doing the next one then. Neon Gods. No, not the next in the series, but the next book you're going to read. Oh, that's fine. Is five chili peppers. It's dirty. It's good. I feel like... You say that about all of these, but... Were you shocked? No. Did it surprise you at all? No, not at all. It was like... I felt like you were a little shocked when you were like, wait, there's two guys. Like, what's going on here? Well, once I saw two guys and one girl, I kind of figured they were going to fucking go at it, but then they didn't do, you know, the London Bridge, if you will. So I was kind of disappointed in that. I would have felt better if one was in front and one was in back, you know? They took their turn. Kind of like a teeter-totter, if you will. Whatever. I'll go with it, I guess. It's a great book. You should read it. I won't. That makes me not want to read it. Should we end it here with a cheers? Yes. I love you. Love you. Cheers.
