Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

The Women's Lighthouse Podcast aims to inspire purpose-driven women and discuss various issues related to womanhood. In this episode, the focus is on emotions and the importance of emotional intelligence. Emotions are defined as feelings based on situations or outcomes. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing, understanding, and managing both our own emotions and the emotions of others. It is important because it enhances self-awareness, improves interpersonal relationships, helps in leadership, reduces stress, and improves communication skills. Emotional intelligence also promotes empathy and aids in conflict resolution. Managing emotions is crucial for success as a woman and can impact relationships and personal growth. The episode concludes with a discussion on the five key components of emotional intelligence, starting with self-awareness. Emotions are not a weakness, but rather a strength that women possess, and managing them is a powerful tool for success", anonymous quotes. Hello everyone, you are welcome to the Women's Lighthouse Podcast, this is a community for purpose-driven women who desire to live their dreams and aspirations. Our mission is to inspire you to live your dreams one day at a time, while serving as a beacon of hope and guidance. We will be addressing various issues related to womanhood. Join me as we explore our journey of life together. I am your host, Wime Hamilton. Hello ladies, you are welcome to another episode of the Women's Lighthouse Podcast. So, today we are going to be discussing about a topic that cuts across board, a topic that you cannot just do without, and that is emotions. Actually, today is going to be the beginning of a series, we are going to be doing a series on various emotions and how, as women, we can handle these different emotions. But today we will be discussing emotions in general. Emotions is something that is crucial for us as women, and generally as individuals, we all feel emotions, so how best can we understand the emotions we feel, and how best can we manage our emotions, that and more is what we will be discussing today, stay tuned. Welcome back from that short interlude. So, let's get right into our conversation for today. We'll begin by asking ourselves, what really is emotions all about? If we're going to define emotions, we can say that emotions are feelings that we experience based on situations or outcomes that we experience. In a lay term, you can say that these are responses to both internal and external stimuli. When you experience things externally, how you get to feel about the things you experience or the situations you find yourself in is what you can liken as an emotion. So, why is emotion important? So, we can see that there's a common word that when you talk about understanding your emotions, you need to understand, and that is being emotionally intelligent. So, what does emotional intelligence mean? Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand and manage your emotions as well as the emotions of others. It's not just about your own emotions, but understanding and recognizing and managing the emotions of others is what emotional intelligence entails. For you to be successful as an individual and successfully build relationships, emotional intelligence is very, very important. Why is emotional intelligence important? Emotional intelligence is necessary in our world today because it helps you become more aware of yourself. It enhances self-awareness. When you are emotionally intelligent, you are able to identify your strengths, you're able to identify what your weaknesses are, your values in life, your goals which you want to achieve generally in life. So, when you get to understand your emotions better, it makes you more aware of yourself and who you are. Secondly, emotional intelligence is important because it helps to improve your interpersonal relationships. No individual can function successfully as an individual. For you to be able to function successfully, the relationships that you experience or that you build around you also have to function properly. So, when you are emotionally intelligent, when you get to understand your emotions and the emotions of others, it helps you to connect better with those you relate to. It helps you to communicate better with them. It helps you in managing conflict when the need arises. It also helps you to develop empathy towards others that you build a relationship with. Another importance of emotional intelligence is that it helps you to be an effective leader. As individuals, one way or the other, we get to lead. Either in your home or in your place of work, wherever you find yourself, everyone has a leader within them. So, for you to be emotionally intelligent, you would have to develop your leadership skills. How? Through being emotionally intelligent, you are able to inspire people around you. You are able to motivate them. When you understand a person's emotions and the uniqueness of their emotions, it's easy for you to inspire them, to motivate them towards a common goal, to build trust within them, and to create a positive environment between your relationship with those that you lead. So, one thing emotional intelligence also does is that it helps to reduce stress. It helps with stress management because one of the triggers or the common influences of stress are the things that happen around us. And remember, based on your emotions, it is triggered by what you experience on the outside. So, if you are not emotionally intelligent and you encounter triggers externally, you would tend to respond based on the external triggers and you would worsen your stress levels. But through emotional intelligence, you are able to manage your stress levels. You understand the emotion. You can define the emotion you're feeling at the moment. You can understand it and you can work on a way to be able to address the emotions you feel. That way, you don't have to act based on impulse, but you can act based on the right responses for that emotion that you feel. Next, another importance of emotional intelligence is it helps to improve your communication skills. Remember, communication is not just verbal. You also have non-verbal communication. If you are in a room or in the midst of people, you should be able to pick non-verbal communication cues. Sometimes, what one person may be saying may not necessarily be what that person is feeling. So, your ability to be able to be sensitive to those around you and pick non-verbal communication cues and also accurately interpret communication from those around you, not misinterpreting communication, but your ability to appropriately interpret what people communicate to you is also an importance of emotional intelligence. We also talked about empathy. Empathy is when you have a deeper connection and your compassion is towards those around you. You are able to see things from the standpoint of the people you relate with. You don't just see things from only your lenses, but you are able to put yourself in the shoes of the next person and see things from their perspective and create an atmosphere of building trust and understanding. So, that's one thing that emotional intelligence does. You understand the person's emotions. Irrespective of your own emotions, you are able to accommodate individuals or people around you based on the emotions that they feel. Emotional intelligence also helps with conflict resolution. Conflict is inevitable. Conflict is inevitable. There would always... It takes two to tangle. That's a common saying. And for friction to occur, two surfaces must rub together. So, as long as only you doesn't exist, you exist in the presence of others around you in community, in family, in the workplace, wherever you find yourself. It will always be you and people. Conflicts will always arise. But emotional intelligence will teach you not to act based on impulse, but will help you to be able to manage conflicts when they arise. It will help you to be able to pause and think, process your emotions, not act based on impulse. You think. You process the emotions you feel at the moment. You think through the situation from a logical perspective before you respond, rather than just addressing issues as they come without processing it. So, that's another thing that emotional intelligence does. So, these are just a few reasons why it's important to pay attention to managing our emotions. For you to be a successful woman, you must prioritize emotional intelligence. I know, for me, managing my emotions has been a challenging journey to the extent that I had to pay attention to it, get books on managing my emotions. I write a book about managing emotions by Jess Mayer. So, another thing that, another reason why I saw the need to manage my emotions was the issue of conflict resolution. When you, you know, one area, one way in which you can easily identify your strengths and your weaknesses is either in your relationship between yourself and people that you are closely knitted with. That's maybe your parents, your siblings, your spouse, or even the work environment. You're closely knitted with those people. You don't just work, but you actually work as a team and you become like a family. It's easy to identify where your strengths and your weaknesses lie. And emotion, your emotions can either make or mar you. Let me say that again. Your emotions can either make or mar you. So, I noticed, for me, when things don't go the way I want, I tend to flare up and maybe be hot-headed, hot-tempered. And I noticed it began to affect my relationship with those that I was closely knitted with. Always wanting people to see things from my perspective. I don't necessarily want to understand things from their perspective. That's another area I noticed I had to handle with regards to my emotions. So, what am I trying to say? Emotions are inevitable. You would always feel emotions on a daily basis. So, in view of this, that takes us to the next thing I want us to know more about. We'll be talking now about the five key components of emotional intelligence, beginning with self-awareness. Self-awareness, what does self-awareness mean? Your ability to recognize and understand the emotion you're feeling at a point in time. Am I feeling sad? Am I feeling happy? Am I feeling frustrated? Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I feeling excited? Am I feeling lonely? Those are emotions. So, when you feel an emotion, the first thing you should be able to do should be recognize the particular emotion you're feeling at that point in time. Also, being aware of the effects of your emotions. Not just knowing what emotion you're feeling at that point in time, but what is the effect of this emotion? Is it affecting my countenance? Is it affecting those around me? Is it bringing out the best in me, or is it bringing out the worst in me? Those are things you also need to pay attention to when we talk about self-awareness. Then, you need to assess your strengths and your weaknesses in order to make better decisions. That's self-awareness. When you're able to say, okay, this is my strength, my strength, and this is my weakness, then based on your strength and your weakness, you can use that to make better decisions. So, that's what it means when we talk about self-awareness. Next, the next component of emotional intelligence is self-regulation. Now that you are aware of yourself, your ability to self-regulate, what does this mean? Your ability to manage and control your emotions. I know this is one thing that became an issue for me. I pray about it. I apologize to the people I offended when I express negative emotions because when I express the emotions, I go to the extreme and I begin to feel bad. But I came to a point where I needed to study and understand what it actually means to manage my emotions and begin to focus on them bit by bit. So, to self-regulate, you have to be able to manage and control your emotions. Also, your ability to stay calm in stressful situations. We will all encounter stressful situations, but can you stay calm amidst stressful situations? Can you control impulsive behaviors? Can you adapt to changing circumstances? Life is dynamic. Life is not static. Circumstances will change. When those circumstances that change come your way, can you adapt? Are you easily adaptable? Also, do you delay gratification? Can you delay gratification? You desire a particular thing, but can you push that your desire and that thing that you are inclined towards and delay it and resist temptation? These are features of self-regulation. Next component of emotional intelligence is motivation. What does motivation mean? Do you have a strong drive to achieve your goals? Or are you lackadaisical? Do you persist during setbacks? Do you have a positive outlook on life? And are you resilient to bounce back from failures? These are questions we need to ask ourselves and score ourselves. So, you may have a low, you may be currently at a low emotionally intelligent state. But when you take all those points one by one and ask yourself these questions, you will know the particular areas you need to improve on. So, the fourth component of emotional intelligence is empathy. What does empathy mean? Do you understand and share your feelings with others? Do you put yourself in someone else's shoes and see things from their perspective? That is empathy. The last component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Are you an active listener? Are your communication skills good? Communication, remember, is two-way. It's not one-way. Your ability to talk and get your point across in a respectful manner and also for you to actively listen, like we earlier mentioned. Then, do you know how to resolve conflict in an appropriate way, in an amicable way, where that is mutually beneficial, where compromises may also be required? Then, do you have an ability to collaborate, to be a team player? Must everything be done your own way, or are you willing to accommodate the interest of others around you and work as a team? These are the components of emotional intelligence. So, the aim of this episode is to create an awareness of the importance of your emotions and the need to be able to manage your emotions. Emotions are very, very important. So, while we draw this episode to a close, I want to mention the characteristics of one who has a high emotional intelligence. For a person with a high emotional intelligence, they think of others. Their feelings are well thought of. Their feelings are well thought of and reflective. When they feel, they think through their feelings. They reflect through their feelings. They don't just act at impulse. They have the ability to go through difficult emotions in a calm way. Also, a person with a high emotional intelligence will be able to pause before acting or reacting. They will be able to control negative thoughts. They will be able to take criticisms lightly, taking criticism as an advice and not as an insult. They will be able to say what they mean with authenticity. They are very authentic in what they say. They say what they mean and they follow through with what they say. They are empathic. They think about others, the feelings of others. Also, praise comes naturally to people with high emotional intelligence. They are able to positively reinforce themselves through difficult times. They focus on the good things in other people rather than the negative things. They inspire others and even themselves to be the best version of themselves through praise. They praise themselves. They praise others. Also, they are quick to apologize. Their apologies are effective and genuine. They are easy to forgive and forget. They don't hold grudges. People who are highly emotionally intelligent protect themselves from emotional damage. When they see negative emotions or they are constantly being exposed to it, they know how to shield themselves from negative influences and emotions. Lastly, they are able to successfully build lasting relationships. As a woman, being emotionally intelligent is a priority. You cannot be a successful wife, mother, career or business professional and not be emotionally intelligent. Remember one thing if you don't remember anything in this episode. Your emotions will either make you or they will mar you. So, it's been a lovely time discussing and throwing more light about the importance of emotional intelligence. Subsequently, in the next episodes, we will be discussing and focusing on a few emotions that are of great importance to us as women. Some of those emotions are sadness, of which we will throw more light into handling and managing depression, which is an extreme of sadness. We will throw more light into the emotion of happiness, loneliness, anger, guilt, anxiety and pride. So, you see, it's not a series you will want to miss. And in these episodes, I will not be doing the discussion alone. I will be bringing in women like us who have experienced these emotions to come and let's rub minds together on how we can manage these emotions as women so as to become the best versions of ourselves. So, it's a wrap for now. Thank you for listening to today's episode of the Women Lighthouse Podcast. I hope you were inspired to keep taking steps towards living out your dreams. If you enjoyed this episode, we encourage you to share it with other women and leave us a review on our social media platform, which is in the description box. Also, feel free to subscribe to our channel to get notified of new episodes. Till I come your way on our next episode, keep living, keep dreaming. Bye for now.