286 to 293

Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. Rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn, ond rwy'n gobeithio y byddwn yn gweithio'n fawr iawn. 286 MASTERING RESENTMENTS We began to see that the world and its people had really dominated us under that unhappy condition. The wrongdoing of others, fancy or real, had the power to actually kill us because we could be driven back to drink through resentment. We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away. This was our course. We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick, so we asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. Today, we avoid retaliation or argument. We cannot treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Alcohol is Anonymous, pages 66-67 287 ASPECTS OF SPIRITUALITY Among AA's, there is still a vast amount of mix-up respecting what is material and what is spiritual. I prefer to believe that if it is all a matter of motive, if we use one worldly possession too selfishly, then we are materialists. But if we share these possessions in helpfulness to others, then the material aids the spiritual. The idea keeps persisting that the instincts are primarily bad and are the roadblocks before which all spirituality falters. I believe that the difference between good and evil is not the difference between spiritual and essential man. It is the difference between proper and improper use of the instinctual. Recognition and right channeling of the instinctual are the essence of achieving wholeness. One Letter, 1958 Two Letter, 1954 288 EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY If we examine every disturbance we had, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its conquent unhealthy demand. Let us with God's help continually surrender these hobbling liabilities, then we can be set free to live and love. We may then be able to twelve-step ourselves, as well as others, into emotional sobriety. Grapevine, January 1958 289 WHEN CONFLICTS MELT Sometimes I would be forced to look at situations where I was doing badly. Right away the search for excuses would become frantic. These, I would exclaim, are really a good man's faults. When that pet gadget broke apart, I would think, well if those people would only treat him right, I wouldn't have to behave the way I do. Next was this, God will know that I do have awful compulsions. I just can't get over this one, so he will have to release me. At last came the time when I would shout, this I positively will not do, I won't even try. Of course, my conflicts went right on melting because I was simply loaded with excuses, refusals, and outright rebellion. In self-appraisal, what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get this direct comment and counsel on our situation. 1 Grapevine, June 1961, 212 and 12, page 60 290 TIME VERSUS MONEY Our attitude towards the giving of time when compared with our attitude towards giving money presents an interesting contrast. We give a lot of our time to AA activities for our own protection and growth, but also for the sake of our groups, our areas, AA as a whole, and all above, the newcomer. Translated into terms of money, these collective sacrifices would add up to a huge sum. But when it comes to the actual spending of money, particularly for AA service overhead, many of us are apt to turn a bit reluctant. We think of the loss of all that earning power in our drinking years, of those summed we might have laid by the emergencies or for education of the kids. In recent years, this attitude is everywhere on the decline. It quickly disappears when the real need for a given AA service becomes clear. Donors can seldom see what the exact result has been. They well know, however, that countless thousands of other alcoholics and their families are being helped. 12 CONCEPTS, page 66-67 291 PAINKILLER OR PAIN HILLER I believe that when we were active alcoholics, we drank mostly to kill pain of one kind or another, physical or emotional or psychic. Of course, every day had a cracking point and I suppose you reached yours, hence the resort once more to the bottle. If I were you, I wouldn't heap devastating blame on myself for this. On the other hand, the experience should redouble your conviction that alcohol has no permanent value as a painkiller. In every AA story, pain has been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission, price purchase, more than we expected, it led us to measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We begin to fear pain less and desire humility more than ever. One Letter, 1959, 212-12, page 75 292 TOWARDS PARTNERSHIP When the distortion of family life through alcohol has been great, a long period of patient striving may be necessary. After the husband joins AA, the wife may become discontented, even highly resentful that AA has done the very thing that all her years of devotion had failed to do. Her husband may become so wrapped up in AA and his new friends that he is inconsiderably away from home more than when he drank. Each then blames the other, but eventually the alcoholic now fully understands how much he did to hurt his wife and children, nearly always takes up his marriage responsibilities with a willingness to repair what he can and accept what he can't. He persistently tries all of AA's 12 steps in his home, often with fine results. He firmly but lovingly commences to behave like a partner instead of like a bad boy. 12 and 12, page 118-119