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It is suggested that the outward appearances of the material world are not the true reality. There may be an all-powerful creative intelligence beyond what we can see. Fear and pride can hinder us from self-reflection and growth. AA members should not feel superior but still have individual responsibilities. Freedom from fear is a lifelong process, and faith in a higher power can help. Neglecting Step 11, prayer and meditation, can hinder spiritual growth. 260 INWARD REALITY It is being constantly revealed as mankind studies the material world that its outward appearances are not inward reality at all. The prosthetic steel grinder is a mass of electrons wheeling around each other in incredible speed, and these tiny bodies are governed by precise law. It tells us so. We have no reason to doubt it. When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that infinitely beyond the material world as we see it, there is an all-powerful, guiding, creative intelligence, our preserved streak comes to the surface and steps out to convince ourselves that it isn't so. Where are contentions true? It would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere. Alcohol's Anonymous, page 48-49 261 FEARLESSNESS AND SEARCHING My self-analysis has frequently been faulty. Sometimes I fail to share my defects with the right people, at other times I've confessed their defects rather than my own, and still other times my confession of defects has been more in the nature of loud complaints about my circumstances and my problems. When AA suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Every time he tries to look within himself, pride says, you need not pass this way, and fear says, you dare not look. But pride and fear of this sort turns out to be boogeymen, nothing else. Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene. As we persist, a brand new kind of confidence is born in the sense of relief, and finally facing ourselves is indescribable. One grapevine, June 1958, 212 and 12, page 49-50 262 INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITIES Let us emphasize that our reluctancy to fight one another or anybody else is not counted as some special virtue which entitles us AAs to feel superior to other people, nor does this reluctance mean that the members of AA are going to back away from their individual responsibilities as citizens. Where they should, feel free to act, as they see the right upon the public issues of our times. But when it comes to AA as a whole, there is quite a different matter. As a group, we do not enter into public controversy because we are assured that society will perish if we do. 12 and 12, page 177, 263 FEAR AND FAITH The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion, well and badly, as the cause may be. Only the self-decisive will claim perfect freedom from fear. We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our makeup. Sometimes we had to search persistently, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the great reality deep down within us. One grapevine, January 1962, Two Alcohols Anonymous, page 55, 264 THE STEP THAT KEEPS US GOING Sometimes when friends tell us how well we are doing, we know better inside. We know we aren't doing well enough. We still can't handle life as life is. There must be a serious flaw somewhere in our spiritual practice and development. What then is it? The chances are better than even that we shall locate our trouble in our misunderstanding or neglect of AA Step 11, prayer, meditation, and the guidance of God. The other steps can keep most of us sober and somehow functioning, but Step 11 can keep us growing if we try hard and work at it continuously. Grapevine, June 1958