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We thought the isolation problem had been solved, but we soon discovered that while we weren't alone anymore in a social sense, we still affected many of the old pains of anxious apartness. Until we had talked with complete canter of our conflicts and had listened to someone else through the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God, 12 and 12, page 57. 229, day of homecoming. As sobriety means long life and happiness for the individual, so does unity mean exactly the same thing to our society as a whole. Unified we live, disunited we shall perish. We must think deeply of all those sick ones still to come to AA. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in AA that we have found, and yet more. If that be possible, no care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve AA's constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming. One letter 1949, two talk 1959. 230, love everybody. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few, that we have been quite indifferent to many. As for the remainder, well, we have really disliked or hated them. We AA's find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear and hate anybody at all, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time. We can try and stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we have formerly shown none, but those we dislike, we can at least begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way at times to understand and help them. 12 and 12, page 92 through 93. 231, privilege to communicate. Everyone must agree that we AA's are unbelievably fortunate people, fortunate that we have suffered so much, fortunate that we can know, understand, and love each other so supremely well. These attributes and virtues are scarcely of the earned variety. Indeed, most of us are well aware that these are rare gifts, which have their true origins in our kinship born of a common suffering and a common deliverance by the grace of God. Thereby we are privileged to communicate with each other to a degree in a manner not very often surpassed among our non-alcoholic friends in the world around us. I used to be ashamed of my condition and so didn't talk about it, but nowadays I freely confess I am a depressive, and this has attracted other depressives to me. Working with them has helped a great deal. One grapevine, October 1959. Two letter, 1954. Bill would like to say that he has had no depression since 1955. 232, the value of human will. Many newcomers have experienced little but constant deflation, feel a growing conviction that human will is of no value whatsoever. They have become persuaded, sometimes rightfully so, that many problems, besides alcohol, will not yield to a headlong assault powered only by the individual's will. However, there are certain things which the individual alone can do, all by himself and in the light of his own circumstances. He needs to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can then make the decision to exert himself along spiritual lines. Trying to do this is actually an act of his own will. It is a right use of this facility. Indeed, all of AA's 12 steps require our staying and personal exertion to conform to their principles, and so we trust to God's will. 12 and 12, page 44. 233, everyday living. The AA emphasizes on personal inventory is heavy because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal. Once this healthy practice has become a habit, it will prove so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes and often hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier. At length, our inventories become a necessity of everyday life rather than something unusual or set apart. 12 and 12, page 89 through 90. 234, freed prisoners. Letter to a prison group. Every AA has been, in a sense, a prisoner. Each of us has walked himself out of society. Each is known social stigma, but a lot of you folks have been even more difficult. In your case, society has also built a wall around you, but there isn't any real essential difference. A fact that practically all AAs now know. Therefore, when a member comes into the world of AA on the outside, you can be sure that no one will care a fig that you have done time, that you're trying to be not what you were is all that counts. Emotional and emotional difficulties are sometimes very hard to take while we are trying to maintain sobriety, yet we do see in the long run that transcendence over such problems is the real test of AA way of living. Adversity gives us more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success. One letter 1949, two letters 1964. 235, looking for lost faith. Any number of AAs can say we were diverted from our childhood faith as material success began to come. We felt we were winning at the game of life. This was exhilarating and it made us happy. Why should we be bothered with theological abstractions and religious duties or with the state of our souls here and hereafter? The will to win should carry us through, but then alcohol began having its way with us. Finally, when all our scorecards read zero and we saw that one more strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look for our lost faith. It wasn't AA that we rediscovered it. 12 and 12, page 28 through 29. 236, perfection, only the objective. There can be no absolute humility for a human. At best, we can merely glimpse the meaning and splendor of such a perfect ideal. Only God himself can manifest in the absolute. We human beings must need, live, and grow in the dominance of the relative, so we seek progress in humility for today. Few of us can quickly or easily become ready even to look at spiritual and moral perfection. We want to settle for only as much development as may get us by in life, according of course to our various and sun-dry ideas of what will get us by. Mistakenly, we strive for a self-determined objective rather than the perfection objective which is of God. One grapevine, June 1961. Two 12 and 12, page 68. 237, no orders issued. Neither the AA General Service Conference, its boards, or trustees, nor the humblest group committee can issue a single directive to AA members and make it stick. Get a loan, mete out any punishment. We've tried this lots of times, but utter failure is always the result. Members have sometimes tried to expel members, but the banished have come back to sit in the meeting place saying this is life for us, you can't keep us out. Committees have instructed many in AA to stop working a chronic backslider only to be told how I do my 12-step work is my business, who are you to judge? This doesn't mean that an AA won't take good advice or suggestions from more experienced members, he simply objects to taking orders. 12 and 12, page 173.