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We have seen AA's ask with much eagerness and faith for God's explicit guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to a minor personal fault like tardiness. A man who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual. Due to any questioning or criticism of his actions, he instantly pro-offers his reliance upon prayer for guidance in all matters great or small. He may have forgotten the possibility that his own wishful thinking and the human tendency to rationalize that distorted, his so-called guidance, was the best of intentions. He tends to force his will into all sorts of situations and problems with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God's specific direction. 12 and 12, page 103 through 104. 171, Dividends and Mysteries. The AA preoccupation with sobriety is sometimes misunderstood to some this single virtue appears to be the sole dividend of our fellowship. We are thought to be dried up drunks who otherwise have changed little or none at all for the better. Such a surmise widely missed the truth. We know that permanent sobriety can be attained only by a most revolutionary change in the life and outlook of the individual. By a spiritual awakening that can banish the desire to drink. You are asking yourself, as all of us must, who am I? Where am I? Where hence do I go? The process of enlightenment is usually slow, but in the end, our seeking always brings a finding. These great mysteries are, after all, enshrined in complete simplicity. The willingness to grow is the essence of all spirituality development. Letter 1956 to Letter 1955. 172, This Matter of Honesty. Only God can fully know what absolute honesty is. Therefore, each of us has to convince what this great ideal may be to the best of our ability. Fallibility as we all are and will be in this life. It could be presumed to suppose that we could ever really achieve absolute honesty. The best way we can do is to strive for a better quality of honesty. Sometimes we need to place love ahead of indiscriminate factual honesty. We cannot, under the disguise of perfect honesty, cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Always one must ask, what is the best and most loving thing I can do? Letter 1966. 173, Root of Reality. We started upon a personal inventory. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock in trade. One objective is to disclose damaged or unsellable goods. To get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We had to take stock honestly. Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spirituality serenity. As I have excellent reason to know, Roots of Reality, surplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast, desperate the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves. One Alcoholics Anonymous, page 64. Two letter, 1949. 174, Constructive Forces. Mine was exactly the kind of de-seeded block we so often see today. In new people who say they are atheotic or ethnostic, their will to disbelieve is so powerful that apparently they prefer a date with the undertaker to an open-minded and experimental quest for God. Luckily for me, and for most of my kind, who have since come along in AA, the Constructive Forces brought to bear in our fellowship have nearly always overcome this colossal obstinance. Beaten into complete defeat by alcohol, confronted by the living proof of release, and surrounded by those who can speak to us from the heart. We have finally surrendered. And then periodically, we have found ourselves in a new dimension, the real world of spirit and faith. Enough willingness, enough open-mindedness, and there it is. AA Today, page 9. 175, Aspects of Tolerance. All kinds of people have found their way into AA. Not too long ago, I sat talking in my office with a member who bears the title Countess. That same night, I went to an AA meeting. It was winter, and there was a mild-looking little gent taking the coats. I said, Who's that? And somebody answered, Oh, he's been around for a long time. Not everybody likes him. He used to be one of Al Capone's mobs. That's how universal AA is today. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. All of us, whatever our race, creed, or color, are the children of a living creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. One AA comes of age, page 102. Two Alcoholics Anonymous, page 28. 176, Domination and Demand. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to find partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much. If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly be our insecurity, growth, and fester. When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willingful desires, they revolt and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. My dependency meant demand. A demand for the possession and control of people in the conditions surrounding me. 112 and 12, page 53. Two Grape Vines, January 1958. 177, Money Before and After. In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply were inexhaustible. Though between binges, we'd sometimes go to the other extreme and become miserably. Without realizing it, we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was a symbol of pleasure and self-importance. As our drinking became worse, money was only an urgent requirement which could supply us with the next drink and the temporary comfort of oblivion it brought. Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always follows spiritual progress. It never proceeds. 112 and 12, page 120. Two Alcoholics Anonymous, page 127. 178, Down to Earth. Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. Alcoholics Anonymous, page 130. 179, Coping with Anger. Few people have been more victimized by resentment than have we, alcoholics. A burst of temper could spoil a day and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. How were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger? As we saw it, our raft was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These dry-benders often led straight to the bottle. Nothing pays off like resentment of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument, sulking and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-resentment has become automatic. 12 and 12. 1 page 90. 2 page 91. 180, Community Press.