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SWM Radio talks with author Taurus Montgomery about his journey from being a child in the hood, to now being a pastor in the hood. Very Inspiring!
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SWM Radio talks with author Taurus Montgomery about his journey from being a child in the hood, to now being a pastor in the hood. Very Inspiring!
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The speaker begins with a prayer, asking for guidance and the presence of the Holy Spirit during the conversation. They introduce Pastor Taurus Montgomery, the author of "Set on Fire," an autobiography about his journey from life in the hood to becoming a pastor. They discuss the themes of devastation and destiny in his book, and how his house catching on fire was a turning point in his life, leading him to his awareness of God's destiny for him. The speaker mentions biblical characters like Joseph and Nehemiah who also experienced devastation that led to their destinies. They emphasize the importance of not limiting God and share personal stories of how God has provided and blessed them beyond their expectations. They highlight the significance of relationships in their journey, mentioning family, friends, mentors, and the church community. The speaker concludes by reflecting on their upbringing in the hood and how it has shaped their perspective and purpose. They express their desire Lord, I pray that you will be with us now as we talk to one of your manservants, a man servant. I pray that the hearts of those who are listening will be prepared for what they are hearing, so we invite the Holy Spirit to be with us at this time. We thank you so much for hearing and answering our prayers. In Jesus' name, Amen. This morning we have joining us Pastor Taurus Montgomery. He is the author of, can I tell you, a very riveting autobiography called Set on Fire. Had a really hard time putting that one down. He's going to be sharing with us his journey from life in the hood to pastor Montgomery. It is such a pleasure to have you here with us this morning. The pleasure is all mine. Thank you all so much. Thank you for reading the book, you know, and putting the book out there like that. I think we connected via my mother-in-law and, you know, when she told me about it and I got a chance to speak with another one of your representatives as well, I think his name is Gene, and so I'm just humbled. I'm humbled by the fact that you guys would take my book and read it and share it like that and so to God be the glory. Amen, Amen. So, devastation and destiny are themes that run throughout your book. Now I'm asking you, can you explain how do those two words fire you up to write this very inspiring autobiography? That's a good question. So, you know, when I think about the word devastation, you know, it's something bad that happens, right? It's a catastrophe. It's something that is out of the norm. You didn't expect it. You didn't plan it. And in my situation, it was my house catching on fire. My family and I were inside when it happened. And, you know, so that devastating experience is actually what gave birth to my awareness of God's destiny for my life. I tell people all the time, had my house not burned down, then I never would have done a lot of things that I've done. I don't think I would know the Lord. I don't think I'm walking with God. I don't think I'm a pastor now. I probably wouldn't be married. I mean, there's a lot of things that that devastation gave birth to. You know, I think about the story of Joseph, you know, someone who I really resonate with, one of my favorite Bible characters. I don't know if we know Joseph's story like we know it had his brothers not sold him into slavery. Yeah. Right. I think about the story of of Nehemiah. You know, the scripture says that Nehemiah was was a cupbearer in the citadel of Sousa, you know, and just kind of a little bit of history into that. All the research into that, you know, Nehemiah was living in a in a palace, in a comfortable place, in a comfortable situation. But he heard about a tragedy, right? Or some devastation with the walls burning down in Jerusalem and the people there not being safe anymore because of that. And God uses that devastation to to stir something up in Nehemiah to the point where he says, man, I have to go do something. I have to go and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. And so, you know, I identify with those Bible characters who had a devastating experience in their life to actually ignite their destiny or their awareness of God's destinies for their lives. And so I think it's the same for for all humanity. I think that, you know, when we go through something that's devastating, tragic, we can respond to it, you know, in two ways. You know, we can just feel like, woe is me. You know, why did this happen to me? But the other response is, you know, all things work together for good for those who love God and call according to his purpose. And I think that's the one that begins to ask the question, man, what is God? What is God up to? And how does this tragedy, how does this devastation, you know, lead me to, you know, God's destiny for my life? And so with that, with those things in mind, you know, I knew that I had to pin this down. Plus, I had a lot of people just saying, man, you should write a book. You should write a book. You should write a book. So having heard that a lot and lived through these through this devastating experience and experiencing God's, you know, God orchestrating and leading my life, eventually gave birth to this book, Set on Fire. Wow. Wow. What can I say? You know, I was having a conversation with someone just this morning talking about just life, you know, humanity, how we respond to situations. And, you know, sometimes you think, is there another way that we can get jolted into being set on fire other than something really bad happening to us? But yeah, it seems, you know, time and time again with so many people that this is the catalyst that is being used to move us forward. It's as if nothing major happens, we'll stagnate. And so, yes, the examples that you have brought up here, Nehemiah, Joseph, your own life, you know, these are just testimonies too. You know, and what's so beautiful about it is through this devastation you see that God is not letting go of you. He leaves no stone unturned. He tries so hard to get us to come to Him. And so this is beautiful the way that you have explained this devastation and this destiny. So you speak about not limiting God in any way. I want you to talk about that. How has this concept played out in your life? Oh, man. Well, in so many different ways, you know, God has just been so faithful. He's been so good. And, you know, I think one of the biggest things that I mean, there are several things, but I just maybe speak on a few. One of those things is, you know, the reason why I tell people that my house burning down was the best thing ever happened to me is because, you know, we bounced around from one house to another. I have a large family. You know, my grandma had 14 kids, 10 boys, four girls. And so when my house burned down, we moved around from different family members, a different family member. But we can only stay with them for so long. You know, it was a lot of us. You know what I mean? And so we'll eat you out of house and home real quick. I got a lot of brothers and, you know, some sisters as well. But the thing that happened, though, was my mom had a friend from high school who who learned about our situation. And she reached out and said, hey, you know, you guys can come and live with us. And we stay with this family for free for about two years. Wow. And and and while living with them, you know, these people happen to be, you know, they were Christian. And so I didn't grow up in church. I didn't know nothing about going to church other than, you know, on Easter. You know, we get a new Easter suit and got to learn the Easter speech. My grandma bring us in the church. You know what I mean? But other than that, I wasn't I wasn't going to church and I was living a lifestyle in the streets and that type of thing. So when my house burned down, you know, God demonstrated his his power in providing for me and my family with a place to live for free. With people who would teach us about him. You know, so that was my first that was my first kind of encounter with with God being a guy who can't be limited. You know where we where we thought that, you know, we will be staying with, you know, blood family. It was actually it was actually my faith family. What became my faith family, you know, that that that blessed us to be able to live with them. But I think I think the thing that really just blows my mind, though, when it comes to like not limiting God is when my wife and I. My wife and I, you know, we went to school, we went to Oakwood University in Huntsville, Alabama. And when I went to school, you know, my parents didn't have money. You know, I grew up in poverty. And so I had to take out a lot of student loans. I joke. I joke. I joke sometimes when I'm speaking that, you know, I got into a relationship with this lady named Sally. You know, I had a girlfriend in college. Her name was Sally. Her last name was May. Right. And, you know, by the time I graduated, by the time I graduated, I had I'd accumulated about one hundred and thirty some thousand dollars worth of student loan debt. Right. And then my wife, she had, you know, I don't know, 40 some thousand, 50 some thousand, something along those lines. And then on top of that, you know, I had some credit card debt and some car loans and all this kind of stuff. Well, the grand total came up to one hundred and eighty eight thousand dollars. And and using, you know, God in his, you know, infinite wisdom. When I had when I wanted to publish my book. Right. I wanted to publish my book before I even published my book. Someone I sent a copy of my book to a friend of mine who's an author. And I asked him to read it and give me some feedback. Well, unbeknownst to me, he passed my book along to another person. And that person read my book and said that they felt inspired by God to do something to help me and my family. OK. And they wrote a check for one hundred and eighty eight thousand dollars and paid off all of my student loan debt. My wife's student loan card, no credit card. I mean, you're giving it like that, you know, just like that. And as a result, you know. And again, I'm trying to I'm trying to publish my book. I'm trying to get it out. I want to tell the world about it. And the Lord said, look, before the book was even published, before any before it, before it had been sent to an editor, before it had been sent to a graphic designer before, before it was just a word document. And somebody passed it along to somebody else and that somebody else read it and was inspired, moved by God to do that. So you can't put a limit. You know, you maybe want to do something one way. You have a business that you want to start. You have a ministry that you want to start. You have a relationship that you want to get into. You have a goal or something that you're trying to achieve. And, you know, God may have a whole nother way of him doing that. So my advice to people is, you know, don't don't put a limit on what God on what God can do in your life. You know, and I encourage people to dream big, you know, think, think beyond your own human capacity. You have a goal and it doesn't scare you. Then, you know, you're dreaming too small. And even, you know, higher than the highest human thoughts, even the biggest goal, grandest idea that you have is still small in comparison to what God can do in your life. And so my debt being paid is a reminder to me that I can't put a limit on God. Amen. And that has been what I've been saying lately to people just in every aspect. You know, we have our little boxes that we want to put God in of how he should work. But he's bigger than all of that. He's bigger than all of that. We don't have the audacity to tell him how he should do things. We can't tell him how to write the script. So, wow, you know, this testimony alone of the student loan. Wow. What a blessing. We cannot put any limits on God. So I know that relationships are obviously a big part of your life, anybody's life for that matter. What role have the relationships in your life played in bringing you to where you are today? I know you mentioned your Adventist friends, but I want you to talk about that a little bit more. Sure, sure. Yeah. So, I mean, man, there's so many different people that I have to thank, to be grateful for, who blessed me along my journey, whether we're talking about, you know, first and foremost, my mom. You know, my mom is the one who had the relationship with her high school friend. You know, they were still friends. They still were in touch and still stay connected. And so my mom, you know, I put her through a whole lot. I put her through so much. And there may be some moms out there right now. I just want to encourage you to know that, you know, your child, your son, your daughter, they may be displaying behaviors or living a lifestyle that is totally against everything that you've taught them. But I'm a living witness that, you know, God's grace and God's mercy is able to reach down to the lowest of the low places and elevate your child and lift them up to where God wants them to be. And so, you know, I tell parents all the time, don't don't don't give up on your child just because they're living wild right now. You know, the decisions that they're making. God has not forgotten them. God has not given up on them. And I'm so thankful that my mom, you know, never gave up on me. And so she was the one who, you know, like I said, was the catalyst behind us being able to even live with this family. And so moving in with this family, you know, that relationship, them showing us what what worship looks like, what what it looks like to pray, what it looks like to have a Friday night vespers, you know, what it looks like to go to church and and for church to be full. You know, I had a head elder. He's a pastor now. Pastor McConnico, Carlos McConnico, played a huge role in my life. The son-in-law, his name was Baron, the son-in-law of one of the daughters who we lived with, the mother of the matriarch of the household, her name was her name is rather Marie Campbell. So Miss Campbell, you know, her her family, she had, you know, five or six kids. They embraced us as their own. And one of them was the basketball coach. And, you know, the church had a basketball team. You know, my brother and I, we love basketball. And so, I mean, they really poured into us. I go to Oakwood. I got professors, professors who, you know, really poured it to me, whether it's Dr. Paul, who was the president of NAPS, Dr. Allen, Pastor Doggett. I mean, so many dynamic men of God. And that was a big thing, too, like seeing black men who love Jesus, you know, seeing black men who who who preach with power, you know, who had integrity, who. I mean, it was just, you know, being at Oakwood itself was a phenomenal life changing experience to see other young people, you know, love God. When I got to Oakwood, I was brand new Christian. You know, I thought I was in heaven. You know, I mean, you mean to tell me they pray before you have class? You mean to tell me that they're reading the Bible? You know, the Bible is a textbook. And so that that whole experience was game changing for me. Eric Thomas, Dr. Eric Thomas, E.T., the hip hop preacher. I don't know, you know, if I mean, he's one of the the number one motivation speaking in the world. He's poured into me a lot. I mean, I can go on and on. My dad, you know, we've had our run ins and our issues with each other. But nevertheless, you know, he's my father and I'm half of him. And so, you know, he's played a significant role in my life as well. My younger brother. I mean, I can go on and on and on about the number of people who who's really been a blessing. Pastor Dwight Nelson, you know, he's my lead pastor here. You know, he literally just retired on this past this past Sabbath. So I know I'm going on a lot because I've got so many names I can I can mention so many people. My wife, my kids, you know, so those are, you know, having having the right people, being in the right circles, being in the right environment is important for you to become all that God wants you to be. Amen. Amen. One of the things I wanted to just pick up in with what you mentioned, you said you were able now to see strong black men of integrity who love the Lord. You know, I think that's so important to mention because growing up, you know, as I listened to to your book growing up, you know, you talked about learning Hood 101, which, you know, we're going to get into that in a minute. And the value system seemed like you were not getting that kind of leadership role model type of example being set for you. Until you met these men, these strong black men with integrity who loved God. And I think it is so important to encourage our men to keep stepping up to the plate, because there are so many young men and women who are looking up to you for this guidance. And so I appreciate that you mentioned that. I think that is really important. I think the other thing that is really important to know is that God placed each and every one of these people. These things did not happen by chance. The relationships that you have mentioned, they didn't happen by chance. Everyone was specifically orchestrated for you in your life. Right. Right. Absolutely. I absolutely agree with that. And, you know, I think one of the things one of the reasons why the church struggles in general in terms of reaching the world and impacting our communities is there is a notion, particularly amongst black men, that the church is for women. You know, it's a it's a women's organization. It's a women's thing. Right. But man, all of the all of the studies and research in church growth and men's ministry, you know, lead to the conclusion that if you can if you can win a man, then the percentage, the chances of that man bringing his entire family to the faith is far greater than if you're just focusing on reaching women. I'm not talking about we should not focus on reaching women. I'm just saying that if the current men in the church were more serious and more committed to reaching other men in the church in general, was intentional about making sure that we have ministries and we're developing programming and doing whatever is necessary in order to win other men, then I think we would see an explosion in the church in terms of church growth and community impact. Because, you know, men just carry that spiritual authority when it comes to their household and they're leading well. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so that's something that, you know, by the grace of God, that has been modeled to me. And I want to model that to my own household and to my church as well. Amen. Amen. So you grew up in the hood, right? And you ended up pastoring a church in the hood. How do you see your relationship to the hood now and what role did it play in you writing this book? That's a very good question. That's a very good question. So, you know, growing up in, growing up in, you know, the hood or as to use a to use a biblical term, you know, can any good thing come out of nothing? Yeah. You know, that's what was said of Jesus. And that's what I love about Jesus. You know, Jesus can relate to anybody on any level, any time, rich or poor or anywhere in between. Right. And so. So I think I think growing up, growing up in the environment that I grew up in. Number one, there's a culture that is I mean, there's a culture in any environment, but there's a culture in the hood that unfortunately is very unhealthy. You know, there's a lot of things that are very unhealthy. Whether you're talking about, you know, gang culture, retaliation culture, you know, embracing the negatives of hip hop culture, when you're talking about being misogynistic, drugs, glorifying drugs and violence and, you know, those kinds of things. And living in that, you know, I realized that and I actually kind of came to this realization probably about five or six years ago that, you know, I mean, I've been paranoid, you know, that I've lived with paranoia and I know it's connected to growing up in the hood. Now, once I gave my life to Christ, I did that at 19 years old. And shortly thereafter, I went to Oakwood and I praise God because, number one, it pulled me out of that environment. And number two, it gave me access to resources that could help me heal from the childhood trauma that I didn't even know was trauma. And so going to counseling, getting therapy, getting therapy about seeing my mother verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally abused by my father, getting therapy from the fact that I went two years without having any heat in the house, nine months with no electricity in the house, the water being off and on, having to wake up early and go to school way before students get to school. And the janitor let me and my brother come inside to take a quick wash up in the bathroom. You know, and I didn't live I didn't live in like I lived in a city, you know, I'm not talking about a country town type of situation. I'm talking about somebody growing up in an environment that is poverty without even really knowing. And that's the other thing about being in the hood as well, is that sometimes you don't even know that you're poor because everybody else around you is experiencing the same thing. Right. And and one of the one of the downsides. And again, I think I think this is a this is a microcosm of larger issues in American culture in general. But, you know, we match things, you know, whether that's the expensive clothes that we would buy or the expensive shoes, you know. And so I look good, you know what I mean? So I can't be, you know, this poverty can't be all that bad because I got on new clothes and new outfits and all that kind of stuff. And so it's just a mess, though, you know, it's just a mess. But what that has enabled me to do is that that has enabled me to now that I pastor in a very similar environment, I'm able to relate to the people. I'm able to connect with them. I'm able to counsel them in a different way with that unique lens. I'm able to, you know, really, really reach people in a way that someone may not be able to had they not had that experience. And so. So I think that as I wrote the book, I wrote the book with this particular audience in mind. I wrote the book with a young person in mind who's grown up in the hood, who's trying to figure out life, who's struggling with, you know, relationships, who's struggling with their identity, trying to figure out who they are, you know. And so all of those things went into the writing of the book because essentially I'm writing the book to my younger self. Wow. Wow. One of the things I like about what I'm hearing you say, it's so key and it's just something that I've been learning and I would say the last year or so. You mentioned trauma, childhood trauma, and not even knowing that you were being traumatized. And how now, I guess, retrospectively looking back and realizing that you were traumatized and seeking this help, you are now able to relate to these kids who are going through these things who don't even know that what they're dealing with is trauma. So many times, you know, those who have not lived this type of life will look at how people who do grow up in the hood behave and because they can't relate or they don't understand what's going on, they just, you know, cast them aside and they have all kinds of not so pleasant things to say about them not realizing that they're dealing with trauma. And the biggest part of that for me is that you yourself, you didn't know you were poor. You didn't know you were being traumatized. And I just had to mention this when we're dealing with people that we should have grace because we don't know what it is that they have had to deal with. Right, right. And I'll say this as well, you know, you just said it, grace. Listen, even myself, like having, you know, I've been pastoring here now for almost 11 years and my community where I live, where I pastor, I live, you know, close by my church. And so I live in this community, you know, and I myself, here's what has happened to me since I've been living here. I have become far more gracious than I've ever been. And I can see it because when you are living amongst a people who have been struggling with generations of poverty, generations of brokenness, generations of trauma, generations of and a lack of awareness that that they have been traumatized and are still being traumatized. I mean, you're either going to be patient and gracious or you're going to give up. It's either one or the other. It's either one or the other or you're going to be you're going to be gracious and patient or you're going to give up or maybe there's a third option. You're going to you're going to become so judgmental and so, you know, stuck up and so full of yourself because you think you've got it all figured out because these people, this neighborhood or what's wrong. I can't believe, you know, the thing that that that living here has done for me most is really made me far more gracious. And I think, you know, I personally when I when I read scripture, I believe that God has a bias towards poor people. I can't argue with that. I think that I think that when you hear God talking about the widows and the orphans, you know, the fatherless, when you hear God talking about the poor, the you know, there's a there's in fact, there's a scripture in Proverbs. That says he who lives, he who gives to the poor is what is it? I don't want to mess it up. It says something to the effect of he who he who gives to the poor is alone, gives alone. It's like a loan to the Lord. Wow. The Lord and he will repay you for what you have done. Right. I mean, there's a plethora of scriptures, Isaiah 58. Right. When Jesus shows up in Luke for 18, 19 and 20, you know, he's announcing that his mission is for the people in society that have been pushed aside. You know, the least the left out. And so I believe that when you really focus in your energy, your efforts on serving that particular group of people, you know, there's some change and transformation is going to happen in your own life. You're going to be able to you're going to be able to see God and see through the eyes of God a whole lot more than, you know, if you're just serving somebody who, you know, they may they may be well off, well to do. I'm not saying that we don't need to serve those people. I'm just saying that we even when you look at Jesus, he spent most of his time with the people who were considered to be rejects and outcasts. And so living in the hood, pastoring in the hood is a life changing experience for me personally, even though I grew up in a similar situation. Wow. And I just want to mention again, Jesus, you liken the hood to can any good thing come out of Nazareth? Just, you know, the relatability of Jesus, you know, it just makes that scripture come true even more that he was touched with the feelings of our infirmities and was tempted in like, you know, manner as we are. Yet he didn't sin. So we can't even use any excuses, huh? There are no excuses for us. That's right. Wow. OK, so let me get let me let me say this real quick before I move on, because I hate when I I got to give you the right scripture and say exactly as it reads. Scripture says Proverbs chapter 19, verse 17. Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord and he will reward them for what they have done. Can you give us that reference again? Yep. Proverbs chapter 19, verse 17. Wow. OK, thank you for that. Thank you. I hope I remember after this. Key right there. So NAPS, let's talk about NAPS for a minute. It was important, very important. And I'm supposing that you came upon them when you were attending Oakwood and that you participated in this group. How did that prepare you to be a leader and a pastor today? It was everything. It was everything. It was literally everything. You know, I, I, I, I blossom. Again, I came I came to Oakwood, which is where NAPS, you know, was located at the time on the campus of Oakwood University. I came to Oakwood and 11 month old Christian gave my life to the Lord. February 1st, 2001, on a Thursday morning about nine o'clock. I never forget it. And 11 months later, I was enrolling at Oakwood as a theology major going into going into ministry. Right. As an 11 month old baby Christian. 11 month old baby Christian. Brand new. Brand new. Felt like God calling me. And so I went to Oakwood. So when I get there, I went to this program. Oh, I was in a class and the class with the professor of the class. His name is Dr. Paul. He he was the president of NAPS. He still is the president of NAPS. And he invited me to come to this Friday Night Vespers. I went and I was just blown away. It was about 30, 35, maybe 40 young people my age, you know, gathering. We were at his house at his home worshiping, you know, Friday night. We singing hymns and, you know, eating food, testifying about the goodness of the Lord. And I'm just like, yo, I just went I'm in heaven right now. Right. Because this was all again, my friends were in the club. My friends were, you know, we were we were doing doing a whole bunch of nonsense. And now I'm in an environment where people are really committed to the Lord. And more so also rather doing the Lord's work. And so every weekend we were out in the community, every Sabbath, we're going out to the community. We're praying with people. We're doing programs for kids, programs for teenagers, programs for adults, Bible studies. You know, during the summertime, we going overseas, preaching the gospel. By the time I graduated, I traveled over 90,000 miles. I volunteered over 26,000, 30,000 hours. I've taken a year and a half off of school, dedicating my time to serving the Lord as a student missionary. I have raised over two million dollars. And so this this experience was something that I knew I was going to implement when I began to pastor. Like my passion for community work, my passion for mission, my passion for preaching the gospel to people who don't know what the gospel is. Right. All of that, that foundation was laid when I was in my time in NAPS. The friendship that I developed with other, you know, young people who were my colleagues at the time, you know, similar passion for the Lord. So my time in NAPS, man, listen, I tell people I got two degrees. I got a degree in theology and I got a degree in NAPS. It was a it was a it was a it was a community outreach degree, if you will. And so that was pivotal for my my life and leadership in my ministry as a pastor. All right. All right. So as you have been speaking with me, I noticed, especially when you gave that word of encouragement to mothers who not to give up, even when you see that your children are gone astray. You know, you gave this, you know, it was, you know, a word of encouragement. And we notice it throughout your writing as well, that you use your own experiences to counsel and to encourage the reader. And this is not just in matters of life itself, but in studying and choosing a major and developing a relationship. You know, so many things. Now, this is kind of rare to write this way. But, you know, is this something that comes natural to you? You know, did you intentionally write this way? I think it was a combination of both. You know, I see myself as an encourager. You know, I see myself as someone who, you know, is naturally motivating, naturally, you know, seeking to inspire people. And I think it just showed up in my writing. And I didn't want to be intentional about using my own life experiences and the journey that I've been on as a connecting point to the reader and to use it as a moment, not only to connect and say, hey, look what, you know, I think connecting with people involves being able to relate to them where they are and then lead them to where they can be through words of advice, counsel, encouragement. And so it was a combination of that happening as I was writing where I wanted to be intentional about doing that. And it also is just a part of who I am. It comes out when I'm preaching. It comes out when I'm counseling. It comes out when I'm just in regular conversation sometimes as well. So I think it was a little bit of both. OK. Did you find that you were that way even before you became, you know, you knew the Lord, before you came to know the Lord, you know, like in your life before the Lord? Did you find yourself motivating, encouraging, counseling anyone? You know, that's a good question. I've actually never really thought about that. But as you say it, you know, I've always been persuasive. Whether I'm trying to whether I'm trying to persuade my friends to do something or not do something, you know, whether it was bad or good, but it usually wasn't good. Right. But but but I think that it really showed up most in playing sports, you know, sports, you know, the elementary school, middle school, high school. But but it didn't really like the whole counseling piece. Like I never was like counseling anybody. It just really was, you know, trying to persuade people to do something that I wanted them to do. And I certainly wasn't writing anything that I didn't have to write other than, you know, like schoolwork and that type of stuff. But but but I do think, though, that it became, you know, once you consecrate yourself to the Lord, then God will take your gifts, the ones that you are aware of and the ones that are lying dormant that you haven't been using because you're not aware of it. And he will begin to grow those things and sharpen those things. And I think that's what happened when it came down to the being motivating and giving counsel and writing and encouraging and so on and so forth. So I think that, you know, prior to me coming to Christ, I didn't know that I had a couple of, you know, some of those things. And then the Lord just kind of, you know, and then again, being in naps was really the environment that started to shape those things. I can tell you I can tell you precisely where I was in Dallas, Texas, and we were I was leading a canvassing, you know, naps was canvassing. And so I was like the canvassing director type of person. I'm getting everybody in line and we can it's a little bit different than the traditional canvassing. We have a whole marching band when we go out canvassing. That's another story. But but but I remember the the leader, the guy who was the adult. Well, I mean, I was an adult as well, but he was he was a nap staff member and I was just, you know, I was a nap student leader. He was like, hey, man, the group looking down. They kind of looking down, man. They kind of looking like, you know, lethargy, you know, man, I need you to do some. And so I huddled everybody up and I just gave them this rousing speech. And the next thing I know, they was all running and, you know, going from house to house. And so the director came to me and said, man, I don't know what you told him, man, but it worked. And I just remember having a moment with God like, man, God, that was you. Yeah. You know, and and I started seeing that more in my life as I began to motivate and encourage people to do things. And so. So, yeah, I think it became something that the Lord took and sharpened along the way. All right. All right. We're going to get into something a little juicy now. OK. People like to hear these types of stories. Don't really want to pry too much in your personal life, but can't really help it. I'm sorry. Sure. You're right. You talked about meeting your wife, Nicole, and the boundaries that you both had to set for yourself as you were dating. I think this is so important. You know, it seems impossible for most people, even if they're in the church. And if they're Christian, it seems impossible to set up these boundaries. Would you like to explain what these boundaries were and how you both were able to maintain these boundaries until you were married? Right. Right. So, well, a couple of things. One thing that I knew when I got to Oakwood was that. I could not just get into a relationship the way that I used to get into relationships. OK. And the way that I used to get into relationships is, oh, man, she she looked good. She got a nice body. She pretty. I just let me go talk to, you know. And you can't, you know, obviously, you know, men are visual. And but it can't just be visual, you know. And so what I knew was that I knew that I wanted to be with somebody who had character. I wanted to be with somebody who had integrity, someone who would who I thought would make a great mother to my children. Someone who I thought would be a great lifelong partner. I knew that I didn't just want to be jumping into a relationship just to be in a relationship. And that's something that a lot of people struggle with. And I think the pandemic has even magnified that where some people want to get into a relationship just to be in a relationship, just because they don't want to be alone. Right. And so. So loneliness is not the should not be the primary reason that you want to get into a relationship, you know. And so. So that was the first thing. The second thing was, I knew that I wanted to spend time working on Taurus, working on myself. You know, I had issues. I had all kinds of issues. I had I had a point porn issues. You know, I struggle with porn. I was promiscuous when I was, you know, growing up as a kid. I saw porn when I was like 10, 11 years old. And so I struggle with that for a very long time. And I mean, I just kind of had all kinds of issues. I was sexually active before. You know, we're talking about not getting personal, but I mean, I wrote a whole book about it. It's all in there. Right. But but so what I knew is that, man, I can't go about relationships the same way I did before I knew Christ. Yeah, it has to be different now. So when I first saw my wife, she was my wife at the time. But when I first saw her, obviously, I said, man, she's gorgeous. And I'm trying to figure out, well, man, who is this? You know, who is this young lady? Right. And to my benefit, praise God. She she actually joined Naps. And she didn't join us because, you know, we were talking anything. She just she just joined Naps. And so people who join you join Naps and like you about the Lord's work. You know, I mean, nine times out of 10, you kind of serve God. You you committed to the Lord. You serious about God. That was my experience. So. So what that did was that gave me a chance to observe her without having it, without telling her that I liked her, that I was interested in her. And a good friend of mine, he told me, said, man, I was telling him, I mean, I saw this girl, man, but she's so fine. She is that she does. He was like I was like, man, we think I should do. And he was like, man, I don't think you should tell. Why don't you tell us? I mean, I like I'm interested. He said, man, I think you should sit back. I think you should observe her, because if you tell her, if you tell her and she like you, then you may not get the real hurt. You know what you're doing to impress you. That's right. Right. But if you just observe and give it some time, then you will be able to see whether or not you really like her more than her looks. And so I was like, man, OK, I receive that. Right. And so a whole year went by. Wow. Before I say anything to her. That's a lot. That's what I say. Wow. Because listen, because the old car, that's a whole different story. So when I did when I when I approached her and I told her how I felt about it, I said, number one, you know, this is not I'm not I'm just telling you that I've been observing you and I like you. You know, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I'm not asking to jump into a relationship with you. I just want you to know that I like you and I'm interested in building a friendship to see where this goes. Right. And so that was the first thing we did. The first boundary that we established was when we communicated how we felt about each other. And unbeknownst to me, she's praying on her end and asking God to take these feelings away. She asked God to take these feelings away that she have because she said when she got to Oakwood, she's not going to be in a relationship. Wow. She a freshman. So unbeknownst to me, she praying for about a year. I'm praying and observing for about a year. And then finally, we kind of we expressed to each other how we feel. And we both decided that we're not going to jump into a relationship, even though we kind of sense God working in our journeys individually. Right. So that was number one. Number two was once we said, OK, this is not a relationship, we just friendship. We did that for about maybe five, four or five months or so. And what that did was that gave us a chance to just kind of, you know, get to know each other. Here's another thing that we did. Now, this works. This works well when you are in college and when you kind of have the same friends as the person that you're interested in. Because the other thing that we decided that we weren't going to do a whole lot of was we weren't going to go on individual dates. We want to go. We weren't going to go on a date alone. We're just we're going to go on group dates. And you guys established this boundary. We did. As at that age, we were in college and and now again, to me, it was I felt it was necessary for me to take those measures because I had a past and I knew I knew what I was capable of. You know what I mean? I knew I knew where my temptations were. I knew where my weak points were. And so now there were times where we did go on a single, you know, go on a date where it was just the two of us. But but but that was kind of later on. Right. It wasn't very early on. It wasn't you know, it wasn't during the the it really happened more. So, you know, what we would call the courtship phase. Right. I know, you know, that's kind of an old school term. That's all I'm thinking about as I listen to you speak is courtship, which is the way God intended it to be. Exactly. So we said we weren't we said we weren't going to have sex and we didn't. We said that we weren't going to kiss. Now that that might be extreme to some people. Yes. But I can see the young people's eyes bulging out of their head. Not even that. OK. Right. Right. OK, so we are talking about boundaries, boundaries that we set during courtship. We're talking to Pastor Taurus Montgomery. This has been such an enjoyable conversation so far. So, yes, let's carry on. We're talking about your relationship, the early stages of your relationship with your now wife, Nicole. And we're talking about these boundaries in your relationship. Right. Right. Yeah. So I think one of the boundaries that some may consider to be extreme is choosing not to kiss. And that's a boundary that we set. And, you know, it was the reason why we said it. Number one, because just knowing knowing ourselves, you have to know yourself. You know, I don't be honest. That's right. And be honest with yourself. Right. And be honest with yourself. There's no there's no scripture in the Bible that says, you know, thou shalt not kiss before you get married. But but we thought it was necessary because. And truth be told, in the year and a half, two years that we were, you know, dating, courting, we did end up kissing. And it got. We almost went there with, you know. And that was a reminder to us as to why we set that boundary in the first place. You know, another boundary being, you know, to avoid being alone together, you know, past a certain time. Well, you know, nine o'clock, 10 o'clock, you know, I mean, you you just really saying yourself. You are to fall. And the time that we did end up kissing it was a time that we had. I was at her place past nine o'clock. Right. And and, you know, you just sitting there, you laying down and you watching a movie or whatever the case may be. And, you know, so so that's why it's just important to set these boundaries, because you don't want to end up doing something that you regret. And sometimes that decision, sometimes that decision could be a life changing decision, whether it's a unplanned pregnancy, whether it's a disease. I mean, it's all kind of stuff out there right now. But I think even more than that, you know, it's just the joy of doing things God's way. You know, and when you have that relationship with God and that connection with the Lord, then it becomes a whole lot easier for you to do that. Yes. Yes. And that is what I was going to mention that I think it's commendable that you guys set these boundaries early on in your relationship, because, you know, a lot of times one of the things you said that was key is don't just get in a relationship to get in a relationship because you're lonely, because you don't think these things through, you know, you don't think through the setting up the boundaries. And I do think that, you know, you have to have a connection with God to be able to set up these boundaries in the first place. Right. You know, I remember, you know, listening to one of the chapters in your book where you had decided that, you know, with a previous relationship, you were not going to, you know, get intimate anymore. But, you know, you both were not really on the same page where that was concerned. And so that boundary was crossed. And so I think that it is important that you mentioned that you both made this decision, and both parties have to have that relationship with God in order to be able to do this. You know, so I think it's commendable that you guys were able to set these boundaries. Did it did it require a lot of going to God and praying? I mean, you know, I imagine that it had to. I praise God for my my college roommate. Also, just an amazing man of God. He's still walking with the Lord, still faithful to God, still doing God's work. His name is Francisco. We were good friends, still are good friends. Well, we were, man, we were we were we were fast and pray together. He will be praying for me, my girlfriend, and I'm praying for him and his girlfriend. And we hold each other accountable for our own sexual purity. It didn't mean that we were perfect, you know, in the process. It didn't mean that we didn't fall sometimes in the process. But it definitely required a whole lot of praying and fasting and counseling and reading books. And that's another thing. You know, the first time I saw a happily married couple, like I was like 20 years old, you know. And and in seeing that, again, you know, my household that I grew up in, you know, my father was abusive to my mom. I just never saw a great example, a great model of marriage. Right. And I started seeing some of it when I started, you know, when I started living with the family and start going to church and stuff like that. But but I was only there for about I mean, I wasn't I wasn't. It didn't dawn on me what a happy marriage looks like until I got into an environment of Christians who were also happily married, you know. And so now I'm seeing that now, you know, as I'm thinking about relationships and being in a relationship, because I have these great examples and these great models now, I realize that, yo, that's a lot that I don't know. There's a lot that I don't know about relationship. It's more than, you know, her looking good. It's more than buying her stuff. It's more than, you know, it's more than sex. You know, it's actually a relationship. You've got to communicate. You have to spend time with the person. You have to, you know, put your needs and your desires second to the person's. If you really want to make this thing where it has to be some give and take it like. And so I started reading books about relationships. I started reading books about sexual purity. I started going to seminars and, you know, workshops that was happening around Huntsville, around campus. And, you know, so it really became a time for me to learn how to do relationships so that I can have a successful relationship. And my wife and I, we've been married now for 14 years, three kids. And so I like to say it worked. Yes. Yes. You know, I just really appreciate the intentionality of what you did, the reading the books, the going to the seminars. Another thing that is important that you mentioned is having godly friends. You had a friend who held you accountable and who you held accountable, who was fasting and praying with you. I can't stress that enough. Young people, older people, surrounding yourself with positive godly influences. That's right. So don't just live, live fired up. This sentence is at the top of every page in the book. Why? You know, there's a scripture that says, by beholding, we become changed, right? By beholding, we are changed. And the sentence is at the top of every page of the book, because I wanted to serve as a reminder of not settling for life. You know, everybody, everybody gets a life. Everybody gets a chance to live. You know, though, you know, as we're born into the world, if you get a chance to to live, to be, you know, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, however old, then you get a chance at life. And my my my my word, this this this this this phrase, this sentence is kind of a mantra on how I choose to live my life. I don't want to just live. I don't want to just exist. I did that before. I did that for 19 years. You know, just going about not having goals, not having any type of intentionality with my life. And and so, you know, it's really getting at this idea of living life with a a fervor. You know, you know, Paul talks about having that, you know, never losing your zeal, but having that spiritual fervor. And so that's what that's what that means. It's about, you know, living life to the fullest at my highest potential. And that only happens when I'm living in the presence of God, because he's the one who can fire me up to live that way. Amen. Amen. I love that. I love that living life with fervor, not just existing. Can I tell you, I think I told you before, but this book here is definitely a favorite with the SWM Radio's Last Day Book Club. It's it's so readable, the pace of it. It's very hard to put it down. And many listeners could not wait to hear the next chapter. Is this relentless pace so evident in your writing? Is it symptomatic of your own life in any way? You know, that that is a very perceptive question, because, you know, that's a very perceptive question, because I never. I never even thought about the book like that, you know, that is that, you know, in terms of the pace of it. But it definitely has a pace. Right. It definitely has a pace. That's I mean, that's I mean, like I said, that's a very good, great question. That's a question of somebody who really who really read the book. You know what I mean? Like, you don't just come up with that question off the top of your head. So no. Great question. You know, I guess the reason why why that question struck me is because it's true. My life is like a fat. I live at a fast pace. I live at a fast pace. I'm constantly moving. I'm constantly on the go. You know, my mom and my mom and my dad say that I was walking. I started walking at seven months. Now, when they when they say that, they say that like that's like fast. And I'm like, OK, well, I got going real fast, you know. And I see it in my church. I see it in terms of, you know, our our action oriented congregation. I see it in just how you write is symptomatic of the way I live my life. I'm learning to slow down. I'm learning to pace myself. But I definitely live a fast paced life on the move, on the go, action oriented, work oriented, driven, determined. You know, that type of that is characteristic of who I am. All right. All right. You can't help it. So that's the writing, right? Exactly. Exactly. So what is Taurus doing now and what are your plans for the immediate future? Well, currently what I'm doing now at this very moment is I'm still pastoring and I'm still pastoring my same church that's in the hood. And recently I was tasked by the police chief. He reached out to me here and he said, hey, man, you guys have a track record, a proven track record in your work in the community. And one of the challenges that we have almost every summer here in Benton Harbor is an uptick of gun violence during the summer months. I think I think a lot of, you know, inner cities experience that across the country. But it's one that we're one of those places where that does happen. One thing I was trying to mention earlier as well is that, you know, Benton Harbor was listed, was ranked as the worst place to live in the state of Michigan about two years ago. You know, some magazine that, you know, does these types of analysis on communities. And so but this is where God has placed me and this is where God has placed my family and this is where God has placed our church. And so with that, the police chief has said, hey, you know, I would like for you to come in. And I want to adopt what you guys are doing as a part of the police department's overall strategy of community, you know, community outreach. You know, the police chief is a man of faith. And so he sees the value in, you know, the work of the church. And so he was like, man, I want to do more than just, you know, arrest people and write tickets. I want to get into some preventive work. And the work that you guys are doing is that type of work. And so we just launched what we call Operation Safe Space. It's a nine week initiative where our goal is to reach 5,000 people over the course of these nine weeks. We're trying to get 180 volunteers. We're trying to get into 12 locations. These are like, you know, housing projects, you know, places where there's a narrative, a historical narrative of drugs and violence and guns and all that kind of stuff. Well, that's the place where we're going. We're going to Nazareth, if you will. And when we get to Nazareth, we're going to love on the people. We're going to create these safe spaces where people can feel loved and valued and empowered. We'll provide resources. You know, we'll do prayer walks. We'll do health and wellness programs, financial literacy, hope series, you know, where we're sharing the gospel. So that's kind of the immediate what's going on right now. It's a lot of work. We have a meeting coming up this coming weekend. I'm also working with other pastors in the community to help equip pastors on how to go about doing this program as well. And then I think, you know, the future, we're still, my wife and I are in the season of discernment, just trying to figure out what's next for us. And as we do that, we're going to keep our feet on the ground here and keep serving until the Lord says something otherwise. All right. So you guys are employing Christ's method. You are meeting the people where they are. You are mingling with them. You are seeing what their needs are and trying to meet those needs. And, you know, Christ's method alone is what brings true success, is what brings people to him. You know, this is what draws people to him. So this is wonderful. That's right. And, you know, I'm happy to hear that this is an initiative that you guys are working on. Brother Torres, any final words for our listening audience? Yeah, I would just say that, you know, for those of you who are listening, I'm always humbled by people being interested in my story. And the truth of the matter is that it's God's story. And one of the things that I want to encourage listeners to know is that, you know, you, too, have a story. You, too, have a journey that God not only can use but wants to use to be a blessing to somebody else, to ignite a fire into someone else. And so never be embarrassed or afraid or ashamed to tell your story because, unbeknownst to you, there's somebody out there who's waiting to hear what you have to say. And I want to encourage you to tell your story. Amen, amen. We have been listening to Brother Torres, Pastor Torres Montgomery, the author of the autobiography, Set on Fire, moving from devastation to destiny, from the hood to being a pastor in the hood. It's been such a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you. It's been a blessing to spend this time with you sharing your testimony. And I am sure that those who are listening have been tremendously blessed as well. I pray that God will bless you, continue to bless you and your family as you are in this season of discernment and as you stay connected to Christ. He gives us so many promises. He tells you that He will instruct you, He will teach you in the way that you should go. He will guide you with His eyes. So there's no doubt that He will continue to use you in this mighty way. And we just thank you for joining us this morning. Thank you. The pleasure is mine. All right. Amen. Amen.
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