Rick's Story Part 1

The person in the transcription is Rick Perez, a cancer survivor who is sharing his story on the Love Shaped Life Podcast. He talks about his upbringing and how his grandfather's Bible studies influenced his faith. He also shares his journey from Chicago to Florida, his career in healthcare, and his decision to settle in Ormond Beach. One day, while at work, he started feeling short of breath and was diagnosed with a mass in his chest and fluid in his left lung. And it was at those moments that was the darkest moments for me when I was all alone. Physically in the room alone, and then alone with my thoughts. And then it was night time, I had a beautiful window in my room, but it's pitch black outside, you can't see anything. And then once that little suction made with the door, that the door was closed, I felt like, what do I do now? You know, so I got to a point that the emotions got the best of me. And I just felt, what if I don't make it out of this hospital room? What if this is it? Welcome to Love Shaped Life Podcast. My name is Pastor Bob. God has given to each and every one of us a story to tell, and our stories are meant to be shared to bring inspiration and encouragement to others along the journey of life. With me today is Rick Perez. Rick, we want to welcome you. Thank you so much. It's an honor to be here and to be invited to be part of this podcast. And I hope that my story and my journey will be an inspiration for someone else along their journey of faith. Rick is an 11-year cancer survivor, and so Rick, we're so grateful that you're willing to share your story with us today. Share with us a little bit about your background, where you came from. Oh, definitely, yes. I grew up in Chicago, Illinois, with both my parents, my mom and dad, and my little brother Stevie. And I had such an idyllic upbringing. I felt very safe at home and very loved. And when I was older, my grandfather had the privilege of giving me Bible studies, and I think that was so foundational to my faith journey. And I really saw the hand of God early on in my life, and even though I'm from a Hispanic background, Spanish is not my first language, so he would sit next to my bed in his chair, and he would read to me from the Spanish Bible, and then he would show me the text in the English Bible. And I was able to read it, and I understand it, and I felt like the Holy Spirit was just, like the words were just leaping off the page. And I understood everything, and my heart was convicted that I wanted to give my heart to Jesus. So Rick, you were born in Chicago, right? Yes. And then how did you end up moving and transitioning to the state of Florida? Yes, yes, so that's where my wife comes into the picture. So as a young adolescent, we used to go to the youth group at church, and one year in particular, they had a Christmas program, and they had a candlelight processional. It was like Christmas Eve, and my wife, my soon-to-be wife, she was one of the participants in the program, and she was walking down the center aisle with a little poinsettia wreath on her head holding a candle, and we were sitting in the very last pew. We had gotten there late that day, and I was sitting with my mom and dad and my brother Stevie, and as soon as she walked down the aisle, it's like God impressed my heart. I knew, he told me, you're going to marry this girl one day. Yeah, love at first sight. Love at first sight. So I leaned over to my dad and said, I'm going to marry that girl. He goes, oh, she's really pretty. Wow, wow. So you ended up marrying her. I ended up marrying her and my childhood sweetheart, and we had a beautiful daughter Chloe three years later, and she's been such a joy in our life. And now so many years later, 33 years later to be exact, now she is newly married and starting her own home and her own family. So we're just so proud of her and so thankful that God has given us the gift of having a child. So Rick, share with us a little bit about your educational background and then how you ended up moving to Orlando. Sure, sure thing. I studied the radiologic sciences, and that was my passion was to work in the health care field and to help people. I felt a connection with that. So I studied for that in college, and then I specialized in a subspecialty called radiation therapy, and that was my focus in my job. And then soon after that, we wanted to move to a different environment, much more tropical, to get away from the snow in Chicago. You know how cruel those winters can be, shoveling all that snow. And we felt our daughter was young enough that she would be able to handle the transition well. So I went through a few job recruiters, and we found this great opportunity in Orlando, Florida. So you were in Orlando for a while, and then you transitioned to a different job in Ormond Beach. What was that like? There were actually two steps in there. So we moved to Orlando, Florida from Chicago. We drove on down, and everything was going so well. I worked for that first hospital for 12 years, and they'd become part of our family, and we all knew each other well. We were all young adults, so everyone had young kids, and we did outings together. It was just like a family atmosphere, which is exactly what we needed, moving to a new city, a new town, and a new state. And then after being there about 12 years, we got some new medical equipment, and the medical device company had me be kind of part of their pilot program, and I was able to train the trainers, you could say. And they would come in, and they would get a glimpse of the equipment in action, and I would kind of walk them through the steps, how to use the software, and how to actually use it on real-life patients. And one of the reps said, we could use someone like you to work for our company, and I thought they were just being courteous and being kind. I said, oh, thank you so much, and I left it at that. But a year later, they actually approached me with an offer, and they said, Rick, we'd like you to be one of our first applications trainers for the country. So we prayed about it, and I really felt it was the right time to make the move, and I had already been in my field for so many years. I wanted to grow in my field, so I decided to do that, and I would go nationwide and international to train others in how to use the equipment and the software. So after you did that job, you ended up deciding to move and transition, I should say, to another job in Ormond Beach. That is correct. So after seven years of traveling, exciting as it was, and I enjoyed that and growing the department, I was the first in the education department, and then we grew it to five more applications trainers, and we became regionalized, and then I just realized soon enough that I was missing out on my daughter growing up, and I wanted to be there, be home more. So an opportunity came up with one of the clients that I trained right here in central Florida, which was just out of the blue, and they approached me, and they said, hey, Rick, we have one of our managers that's leaving, and there's going to be a vacancy, and we think you'd be the right fit, and would you consider staying on with us and not traveling anymore? And that just seemed like such a load off my mind, like I don't have to travel anymore? I don't have to live out of a suitcase? I'm in. So we prayed about it, and we felt that it was the right offer at the right time, and then I wouldn't have to get on a plane anymore, so we felt it was the right decision. So I got a new career opportunity. So this was from Orlando to Ormond, which is basically what, about 30 minutes away? It's actually more like 45 minutes to an hour, depending on traffic. Okay, depending on traffic. But the good thing was I was always driving against traffic, so I was going the right direction. I was going towards the sunrise. So you took that job, and as you were transitioning from Orlando to Ormond Beach, you came into work one day, you weren't feeling very well, and what happened? Yeah, so I remember vividly it was May 29, 2012. It was Memorial Day weekend, and I just felt a little short-winded that morning, and I was trying to have a piece of toast at home, and I felt like I was choking on it, and I just chugged down some orange juice, and I just chalked it up to being in a hurry to get to work. So I told my wife, I'll just eat breakfast when I get to work. So then when I get to the clinic, I still felt very short-winded, and the physician had arrived early, and ironically I work at the radiation oncology department, and I told him what I felt, and he goes, that really concerns me because you're a young man, and you should be full of energy, and you should not have trouble catching your breath, because if you don't mind, before we get started with our patients for the day, do you mind coming over to the exam room with me? So I followed him, and I sat on the exam table, and he put the stethoscope on my right lung, and he says, take a deep breath, and I did. Then he put the stethoscope on my left lung, and he goes, take a deep breath, and I did. He goes, take in a deep breath. I said, I am taking a deep breath. He goes, do it again, and I did, and he goes, I'm really concerned because I'm not hearing any air exchange in your left lung. I said, you're kidding, right? He's like, no, I'm not kidding. He goes, I want you to get on the CT scan table, and we're going to scan you right now. He goes, something's wrong, and I was in a state of shock, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought, maybe he's just being overly cautious. So then they put me on the CT table in my own department, and then one of the techs came in, and they scanned me, and then when you're in the CT department, there's like this big glass window between the monitor and where the treatment area is, and I could see them, and they were pointing to the screen, so I knew something was wrong. So when I came back around to join them, they said, what do you see on the screen? And I'm very confident with my cross-sectional anatomy because I've been doing this for 25 years, and I said, this is my heart shadow in the center of my chest, and these are my two lungs, and those are my ribs. He says, wrong. He goes, that is the mass, the size of your heart, sitting on top of your heart in your mediastinum, and your left lung is completely filled with fluid. He goes, so two things are going to happen today. He says, we're going to biopsy that mass to find out what it is, and we're going to drain your lungs so you can breathe. Wow. Yes. Wow. So this was a normal day, going into work, just not feeling well, and all of a sudden, all this transpired, right? Happened so quickly. So quickly. Yeah. And so then what happened by the end of the day? I mean, you're going through these tests. Yes. What happened? So on the outside, I looked perfectly normal, just like I look now. I was in my professional gear with my tie, and I went to my office, and I just had a moment, and I said, I better tell somebody what's going on. So I contacted our director, and I told him, and he's very understanding. He says, Rick, just clear your schedule. We'll take care of everything for you. Your health is most important. He goes, just take care of whatever you have to take care of and meet us in the chapel in 15 minutes. So I went to my office, and I figured I better pray. I said, pray, Lord, give me strength for whatever's going to happen from this point on because it's unknown to me. And being a manager, I'm used to being in control and having my agenda and being the leader, and now I'm going to be in the care of the people that I work with, and it's going to change my role in a big way. So I called the most three important people in my life at the time, which was my wife, my parents, and my brother. So at first I called my wife, and she never picks up the phone because she's a teacher, and she's in the middle of class. So the fact that I called her, and she knew that if I called her during working hours, it had to be important. She picked up the phone, and she's like, what's wrong? And I said, well, I don't want you to alarm you, but they found a mass in my chest. I didn't call it a tumor. I just said it was a mass. I didn't want to alarm her. She goes, you want me to drive there now? I said, no. I said, I want you to finish your day. I didn't want her to get into a car accident on the way to Ormond Beach. And I said, I'll be fine. Then I called my parents, and their reaction was my dad says, oh, no, not again. And the reason he said that was it's because my brother was also battling a stage four brain tumor at the same time. He was diagnosed six months earlier than me. So now here they have both their sons battling stage four disease at the same time. Wow. So it was a very big shock for them. And then the third call was to my brother, and we're calling long distance, and it's an hour earlier in Chicago. And he picks up right away, and I explained to him briefly what had taken place. And his initial reaction stays with me to this day. He goes, Rick, what you might be feeling is physical, but it is a spiritual battle that you're going to face. And I just stunned me that he said that. He goes, we're going to pray for you right now. He goes, let me pray with you. And the fact that he just took it to the next level right away gave me a sense of confidence that God was with me. So then I came out of my office, and that was kind of like a ghost town. I'm like, where did everybody go? And then I remembered my director saying to meet us in the chapel. So I walked down the hall. I go to the chapel, and there unbeknownst to me is my entire department, about maybe 16 to 20 people. And we had a beautiful chapel, and it had like a beautiful waterfall. And they put all the chairs in a circle, and they put one chair in the middle. And they said, Rick, every morning you minister to us, and you read us a devotional, and you start our day off with prayer. And now today you're in a crisis, and we want to surround you with God's love, and we want to be there for you. Amen. And that was just so impactful. And I just sat in the chair, and I just closed my eyes, and they all laid hands on me. And they started praying, and they just let whoever wanted to pray, and there was no formality to it. And during that prayer, I just felt this warm sensation from the top of my head all the way through my body, just going slowly, slowly down all the way to the tips of my toes. And that to me just felt like God was just anointing me and just blessing me. I thought I was going to make it. I was going to make it through this, whatever lies ahead. I didn't know at that time. And praise God for such a loving community. Yes. So they did that for you and put you in the middle in the circle and prayed for you. It was powerful. Yeah. I felt like I was in a movie. Like I was watching it, but I was in it at the same time. It was like a surreal moment. Yeah, and these were your co-workers. My co-workers. You would come to work with every day. It was your staff, and you were the manager. That's right. And now here they are ministering to you. That's just so powerful. They really stepped up to the plate in a way that I can't even describe now. They just surrounded me with such support and love. That's beautiful. So the day went on, Rick. The day went on, and then I was supposed to go over to the main hospital because we were a freestanding facility. And my staff was so kind. They're like, Rick, do you need a ride? I'm like, I can walk across the parking lot. They're like, no, no, no, we're going to take you. So I got in the car with them, and they drove me across. They got me through registration. They did all the things that you're supposed to do is take care of somebody to the point where they got me into the exam room with a gown to do my biopsy. And then when I got into interventional radiology, I was freezing. I was, like, shaking uncontrollably. And I think looking back now, I was like I went into a state of shock because the room was cold, and then plus I'm fearing what was going to happen next, the unknown. And they got me awake during the procedure, which is like I didn't expect that either. So here is, like, the monitor, and they just numbed the area in my chest, and I could see the guide wire going down in my chest. And it was like I was watching television, but it was me. I could see that happening while they're doing the biopsy. And I said, can we stop a minute? And I don't know what possessed me to say that. And they're like, sure, sure, what is it? What's wrong? Can you feel it? I said, no, I can't feel it. I said, but I want someone to pray with me. Absolutely. And it just so happened that the physician was a Christian, and he said, I will pray with you. And he just kind of came forward, and he held my hand, and he put his hand over my arm. And he said, I can't remember the words right now, but he just prayed such a beautiful, all-encompassing prayer that all of a sudden I stopped shaking. I was warm again, just like I felt earlier in the chapel. And this was the second sign I felt that God was saying it's going to be okay. Just trust the process. It's so interesting you mentioned that, trust the process, because oftentimes in our journey of life, we go through these situations, and it is a process. Listening to you, when you first found out that your lung was full of fluid and you called your brother, you got a hold of your brother, and the first thing he did was pray for you. And then when he came out of your office, you went down to the chapel because you were invited down there, and there was your coworkers, and they prayed for you. And then you went over to the other building to get your biopsy. And then you were feeling that fear, and oftentimes we can all relate with that fear because the fear of the unknown is so powerful. It's huge. And so that fear is just gripping you, and you sensed and felt the need of prayer and strength. And you asked for prayer, and the doctor happened to be a Christian, and he stands up to you and comes forward. It seems like in this journey of your tragedy, like you're saying, trust the process, God's hand is with you. Definitely, 100%. And after they did the biopsy and then they also drained my left lung, they took out 1,200 cc's of fluid. And I said, how much is that? And they go, it's like a liter of Sprite. So if you could think about it, that's how much fluid was in my lung. And my physician told me that I was otherwise healthy, that my right lung was doing 100% of the lung capacity for both lungs. So imagine that I was breathing normally even though I had one lung completely filled with fluid. That's why I had no other symptoms other than that morning. I was just a little short of breath. Pretty amazing. So, Rick, you get the biopsy done. And so as the day goes on, continues to go on, what happens? I didn't find out that exact day, actually. I found out the following Monday because this happened on a Tuesday. I had to wait a couple of days. And on my way home from getting the biopsy and getting my lung drained, I felt fine. I put on my back-to-my-clothes, my professional attire, and then my director said, are you okay to drive home? If not, I'll take you home. I said, no, I think I feel good enough to drive. He goes, I'll follow you. And he lived in Lake Mary, so it was kind of on the way to Orlando. I said, fine, let's just do that. We'll do the buddy system. I said, well, when we pass your exit, just wave your hand at me, and then I'll just keep going to my house. So then we get to the Lake Mary exit on I-4, and I wave my hand like I'm good, and I keep going. And I notice out of the rear-view mirror he doesn't get off at the Lake Mary exit. He follows me all the way home. Wow, that's beautiful. And that just showed to me, again, the level of commitment that he cared about me, not only as a co-worker but as a friend. And then he took my briefcase out of the trunk and walked me to the front door. He goes, now you're home. And then my wife greeted me, and, you know, I told her everything that had transpired during the day. So then we made arrangements to come that following appointment, and I came with my wife this time, and we were coming to get the diagnosis. And that's when, you know, it's kind of funny when you're the employee, but then you're also now the patient, you know, and you have to understand the dynamic of that is very, very rare. So they sat us down in the exam room, and the doctor, Kelly, he was such a compassionate individual, and he was the medical oncologist, and Dr. Krocek was my radiation oncologist that I worked for. And he just took his time and his tenderness, and it took him almost like 30 minutes to get to the point. And in the meantime, like my anxiety level was going off the river, like I wish he would just tell me what's wrong. You know, he's going over all my lab work and all the x-rays that were done and the biopsy, and he's not just getting to the point. So finally I excused myself, and I left the room. And then my wife, Martha, says, will you just tell him because it's killing us not to know what's going on. He goes, oh, I just wanted to, like, build it up. You know, I wanted him to know that we're here for you. And he just kind of went, like, the long way to get to the point. So then when I come back in the room, he's like, Rick, I just want to let you know that whatever happens from this point forward, we're going to give you the best possible care, and we're not going to let you out of our sight, and we're going to make sure that you're in good hands. He goes, but we found out through the biopsy that you have a stage 4 T cell, lymphoblastic non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. So I know that's, like, a mouthful. It is a mouthful. Can you break that down into, you know, I would call layman's terms. It's even a lot for me, but I've memorized it already. But the T cells are certain cells in your body that are part of your immune system, and basically it attacked my lymph nodes. So my immune system was out of whack, and basically I had to just get it back in order again. That's how he explained it to me. I just think of it like little soldiers in your body trying to fight off disease, you know, and right now the soldiers are not aligned, and we need to get them back in formation. So I had that little visual in my head, and that kind of helped me understand. Because when you're the one helping the patient, you give them all these comforting words, and you're hoping that it sinks in. But now that I'm the patient, I needed to understand it as well. I needed to internalize it. There's something going wrong in my body, and how am I going to conquer this? How am I going to overcome this? So by him giving me that little analogy about the little soldiers, I saw it, and I understood it, and it made it more manageable for me. The enormity of what was happening, I broke it down to like little soldiers running around in my immune system. So Rick, you go from, again, just your average day at work. You go to work, and all this transpires, and now we hear we move forward about a week later where you get this diagnosis. You have stage 4 cancer, right? Stage 4 cancer. So what was going on with you emotionally and mentally and even the spiritual aspect? What was going on with you at that time? I would say, Pastor Bob, it was a mind, body, and spirit experience. It affected every aspect of my life in a way that I cannot even imagine that it would have. We're people of faith, and we would go to church regularly, and after getting that news, I felt defeated, and I told my wife on Friday, and I said, I don't want to go to church tomorrow. I'm not up to it. And then she spoke such words of faith. She's like, no, when we don't feel like it is when we should go. She goes, we're going to get up tomorrow, and we are going to get dressed, and we are going to go to church, and you're going to testify from tomorrow on what the Lord is doing for you. And she just spoke these words of faith into me, and I kind of woke up and said, okay, Rick, snap out of it. I was already starting to go into a little depression there, and she just said, Rick, get a grip. So we went to church the next day, and that particular weekend they had invited a 60-member mass choir to perform at our church, and this is the key to the story. So I had asked the pastor if I could have five minutes, because I was also the head elder at the time, so I was the pastor's right-hand man, and I asked if I could just have five minutes to tell the congregation briefly what was going on, to alert them to pray for me. He goes, of course, Rick, we will pray for you. So then at the appropriate time during the service, he called me to the front. He goes, we have a very special prayer request this morning, and he called all the elders around, and they laid hands on me as well, and he called my wife Martha up and my daughter, and we all got to stand up there together, and they prayed over us. And then the choir, mind you, is behind us, because they're getting ready to perform, and they sang beautifully, and we thought that was the end of that, but look how God works. So the next week I have to be registered to go start my chemotherapy at the hospital. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that they transferred me, because at my location they were not equipped to handle my type of tumor. It was very rare and very aggressive. They said that we're going to transfer you to the main campus in Orlando to get the best possible treatment, the best possible outcome, which in a way was a blessing because I lived in Orlando, so it made it more convenient for my wife and daughter to come and visit me and accessibility during the treatments. So the treatment protocol that they put me on was that I'd have to be an inpatient for three weeks at a time, getting four different types of chemo drugs at once, and then I would get a 10-day break, and that would go on for eight cycles. So if you multiply that, I'm very analytical, so I went home and I calculated it out. It would have taken a full year. So Rick, just backing up a bit, again, you're talking about this emotional journey, and your wife's encouraging you to go to church when you need to feel like going, and you were prayed for again by the elders and the pastors. So what was happening with you in regard to your journey at that point with God? You often, I know, refer to your life and the story as a journey of faith, right? Yes, sir. So where were you at in regard to your faith in God at that point? I was just, this was an unknown to me, an unknown road. So I didn't know what to expect or what to think, but I felt very peaceful, surprisingly, and I felt supported by my parents, my church family, my wife, and I somehow knew in my heart that I would be okay. So I wasn't losing hope at this point, but I felt very peaceful, which is very ironic, right, that you would think that getting such a diagnosis. But once I started my chemotherapy, I got sick very quickly and right away. So then one of the nurses came in the room, and she introduced herself, and she said, My name is Esperanto. I said, That's a very unique name. I said, What does that mean? And she goes, It means hope. And I said, Oh, that makes sense. I go, Because in Spanish, Esperanza is the word for hope, and so it's a derivative of that word. And then she kept looking at me, and she kept looking at my wife, and she goes, You guys look really familiar. And I was like, I don't remember ever seeing you before. She's like, No, no. She goes, Let me think about it. And she kept on connecting the IVs and doing her job, and then she left, and when she came back, and she was like, I know you from somewhere. I just don't know where I know you from. So I told her where I work. She's like, No, not there. I said, Where do you shop? Not there. And we kept going down the list. She goes, Where were you last weekend for church? And I said, I was at this church. And she goes, That's where I know you from. She goes, I was in the choir. Oh, wow. She goes, I heard your testimony, and I heard that powerful prayer. And she goes, Look, and now I get to be the nurse to take care of you. Wow. Praise God. And that was another sign from God that God was taking care of me. It was very personal. It was very tangible that he was saying, Rick, I'm going to take care of you every step of the way. That's beautiful. So it was God, again, strengthening your faith in him that he's got you. It's growing. I feel like the seed is just blossoming inside of me, and it's growing. So instead of the tumor growing, it's my faith that's growing. So as I'm getting the treatment, I got very sick, as I had mentioned to you. You can imagine four types of chemo drugs at once. I lost all my hair all over my body. I lost over 22 pounds. I was very, very thin. You could count my ribs. I was emaciated. I had dark circles under my eyes. My nail beds turned dark. I just was like a shadow of my former self. And I would actually walk to the restroom with my IV pole and go past the mirror, and I'd have to, like, take a double take. I go, Who is that guy? And then I realized I was looking at my own reflection. Wow. I was not the person that you see before you today. Wow. So, Rick, I remember you were sharing with me, as you were going through those chemo treatments, there was also somebody else that was coming into your room that seemed to, God used to inspire you and encourage you. Can you share with us a little bit about that? Definitely. I have a special place in my heart for Lolita, and she was the housekeeping lady in the hospital. I never had met her before, but she walked in the room. She's like, Hi, I'm Lolita. She was like a ray of sunshine, and there I'm laying in the hospital bed, bald with my pajamas on. I'm like, I never met this person before. But just immediately there was, like, this connection between us. And she was so positive, and she'd open up the blinds and let the sunlight in. And everything that she did was so full of hope and purpose. She was very intentional. And she would swiffer the floors, and she was like, You're going to have a good day today. I was like, Thank you. I didn't know what to make of it, you know. We had started developing a conversation with one another, a rapport. And then she knew that I was a man of faith. And then she found out that I kept the Sabbath. And then we had, like, those little dry erase boards on the wall where the nurses keep up to date of what's happening with my medical condition. And she wrote on there, Happy Sabbath. And that just made me feel so good that she wrote something personal on there for me to see. In other words, she connected with me, and she understood that was important to me, that I would be spending my first Sabbath not at church but in the hospital. So, again, there was another little sign that God was saying, It's going to be okay. I'm with you, whether you're at church or whether you're at home or whether you're in the hospital. I'm with you. Yeah, and God kept sending you these people in your pathway, like Lolita, to give you encouragement and hope, like the nurse from the choir, right? That's just beautiful in that journey. So, Rick, you explained to us, again, you were getting four different doses of chemo, right, over that period of time. Did you go back to work after that? No, I couldn't work because of being an inpatient. So that added another level of complexity to our situation. So my wife was a teacher at the time, and we had to just become a one-salary family. So that really took its toll financially on us and never expected that to happen. I was used to being in control and being the provider as the head of the household, and that's what I felt the most loss of was my ability to provide. I felt like my status was changing, and I couldn't control that. And it made it difficult for me to see beyond. I go, what's going to happen if I get worse? What's going to happen to my wife and my daughter and our little dog? So it really worked on my psyche. Yeah, it really worked on your psyche. So in that journey, right, you're talking about a journey of faith. What was that like transitioning into that for you? Did you cry out to God and God give you strength to keep moving forward in that circumstance? I mean, because that's a very difficult circumstance. You're no longer providing for your family. You know, you're no longer going to work. Like you said, you always felt like you were in control as a manager, and now you're not in control of anything. This is where my faith started to grow exponentially was in the hospital room. And because of my immune system being so suppressed, they had me wearing a mask. And anybody else that was to come into my room had to wear a mask and wash their hands and wear gloves. And it was like they said no germs could be in my presence because they wiped out my immune system. This was way before COVID. This was back in 2012. And another short story was one of our friends, she was wheelchair-bound. And you know when there's a will, there's a way? And there was people that I had known for many years who have accessibility to get to the hospital just like that. I never heard from those people. But here's this lady who has a wheelchair. She found a way to get to the hospital to see me. She called Votran, which is a non-emergency medical company that came and picked her up in a transportation van. She got to the hospital. She got to my floor. And they said, ma'am, you cannot come in here like that. This is a sterile environment. They wiped down her wheelchair. They wiped every surface down. And she got to come in the room with a gown to visit me. And that spoke volumes to me of her friendship and her dedication. And she was willing to do all of that just to come to visit me for 10 minutes. And that was just the kind of love and support that I was receiving. I was receiving tons of cards and emails and Bible verses to encourage me. And one that stands out to me to this day, that was the one that I had marked the print out and put above the head frame of my bed was, Fear not, for I am with you. Do not dismay, for I am your God. And I will strengthen you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. And I felt like that verse was for me because I was fearing. I was dismaying. And I was doubting why it was happening to me. But then I felt that when he said, I will strengthen you with my righteous right hand, I felt like that force, that he was going to uphold me even if I was weak. Even if I'm carrying an IV pole, he was going to hold me up. And I was going to be well. I just tried to keep my room filled with positive messages and cards and just the love that was coming towards us. Did I answer your question? Yes, you did. It was how you were dealing with the situation at hand. Again, you're not being a provider anymore. But God continues to strengthen you. He was using people. He used your friend that had the wheelchair, came into the hospital. And then the cards and the emails and especially the promises of God. God's promise, do not fear, for I am with thee. And you put it above your bed. That's beautiful. It gave me something to focus on that was positive. And I had alluded to you before that I was in this room that was a specialized room. And at night, after Mark had spent the whole day with me and, you know, God bless her, I know she was exhausted and there's like a little cot next to me and she would just lay there and wait. And then, of course, she had to go home eventually and go back to work. And it was at those moments that was the darkest moments for me is when I was all alone. Physically in the room alone and then alone with my thoughts. And then it was nighttime. I had a beautiful window in my room, but it's pitch black outside. You can't see anything. And there was that little suction made with the door that the door was closed. I felt like, what do I do now? You know, so I got to a point that the emotions got the best of me. And I just felt, what if I don't make it out of this hospital room? What if this is it? And many people don't. And many people don't, especially with my advanced stage that I had. The doctor told me that if I didn't do anything, I would only have three to six months to live. So I reached deep down inside of me, of my soul, and I just felt like everything that I knew about myself didn't matter anymore. And I just started praying to God, you know, silently in my mind as I'm trying to go to sleep. And I remember there was like a little tissue box next to me and I just kept reaching for it and the tears were just flowing and I just kept wiping. And in the morning, I didn't realize, but I had emptied the entire tissue box because I just kept going for the next tissue. And I was just pouring my heart out to God. I said, God, you know, I understand that you're sovereign and that you have the best interest for me. But if this is it, please take care of my family. Be there for them. And even without me, help them to go on and to prosper and take care of them. And I said, God, I know I'm trusting you that I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning. And when I got up in the morning, he impressed upon my heart the words, trust me. It's like he wrote it in my forehead. And after I saw that in my mind's eye, I had hope and I had peace again. And all that emotion just left me like that. I felt like refreshed. I felt light. I felt like all of this that I was carrying all along throughout these rounds of chemo, it just left me. And I felt very positive. You know, you mentioned something that I think most of us can relate with and people that are listening to your story in this podcast is that when you were all alone, and your wife had left and the doors shut and the lights were out, there was just this overwhelming sense of darkness. And I think we all come to those points in life where we come to those deep, dark valleys. And I really appreciate what you shared that during that time, you realize how helpless you were, but that you focused your mind upon God and upon His promises. And I think that's a huge key for all of us. Because the promise is the light, right? That's right. It gave me strength to go on. It gave you strength. I think of that scripture verse that thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. So again, the journey that you're going through, and in this dark moment, you focused on God and His promises and it brought you light. And as a result of that, you fell asleep and the next morning you woke up and you had hope. And like God had said to you, trust me. And that's where God wants to bring us all, right? To simply just trust Him. And then soon after that, in my hospital room, I would always look out that beautiful picture window. Luckily they gave me a room that overlooked the lake. And I was so grateful for that because it helped me to get through the dark times. And I would look out the window and I would see couples walking together holding hands or families with little kids playing. Or they had these little motorized boats and they would go across the lake. And I said, I want to be out there. I want to be where they are. I want to do what they're doing. I don't want to be in this. I felt like I was in a prison cell. Emotionally, physically and mentally, I felt like I was trapped in that room and I wanted out of those four walls as soon as possible. And I kept imagining and envisioning in myself. I've heard when therapists talk to patients that use guided imagery. And I would imagine myself. My favorite place in the world is being on the beach. And I would just imagine myself walking the beach barefoot with my wife and just feeling the waves hit our feet and the wind. I had hair then. So I would imagine the wind blowing our hair and just a gentle breeze. And I was just feeling like that warmth of the sunshine. I just miss being out in the sun. You take that for granted every day because we just get up and go to work and do our thing. But I miss just being out in nature, being by the foliage and the vegetation. And that speaks volumes to me. It's very healing to be out in nature. So soon after that first month of chemo, my doctor, my medical oncologist, barges in. He goes, Rick, I got great news. I thought he had the score of the game that we were watching. I was like, what good news? Could they win, you know? He's like, no, good news. I go, what is it? He's like, we did a CAT scan after one month to see where things were, and your tumor is completely gone. Wow, praise God. And my eyes got so big. I go, what do you mean? He goes, yes. He goes, we can't believe it either. He goes, all the lymph nodes are down, and we just want to do a blood test to make sure that we're thinking the correct thing. Is it okay if we do another blood test? I said, absolutely. You know? He goes, Rick, in all my years of experience, I've never seen anyone respond this quickly to chemotherapy. I don't know what it is. I said, I know what it is. I go, God healed me. Amen. Beautiful. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. Remember, just a few days earlier, he told me to trust him. So I knew this was a sign of hope, and I felt so peaceful afterwards, and I knew in my heart that that's what it was. And I claimed it. I said, God healed me. He's like, well, I'm not a man of faith. He goes, but I respect your beliefs. He goes, I know it has to be some kind of divine intervention. That's all he said. And we left it at that. But I knew in my heart what it was. And then, so we did the blood test, and the blood test came back, and it said no evidence of disease. It was after one month of chemo. So I know the chemo worked, you know, and the prayers of my friends and my family and my coworkers and just, there was prayer chains in different cities, in different countries, and it just went far reaching. You don't know how far your prayers go. And I learned later how far people, how far away people were praying for me. And when people were coming to my room and praying with me in person, this is where my faith started growing, and I would imagine that Jesus was in the room with us, and he would put his arms around us, around the people in the room and myself, and I just felt so comforted. I listened to every single word of every single prayer, and I just knew that those words were meant for me. And I just kept building my faith and building my faith. And I got to the point that I just felt secure that no matter what was going to be thrown at me next, that I was going to be okay. Well, Rick, you know, again, you have so much and more to tell of this story, but our time is coming to an end for this segment of the podcast, and then we're going to continue with Part 2 for another podcast to hear the rest of your story. But before we close out on this one, Rick, for those that are listening to your story, what would you say to them? What would be some key points that you would want to say to people that are in that position? Maybe they're just being diagnosed with cancer, or they have cancer, or they're in a dark place in their life, because it's not just about cancer. It's about the journey of faith, right? It's about a journey of learning to trust in God. What would you want to say to them? I would tell them that no matter, even if the news is so shocking that you feel that this is the end of the road for you, that there's life beyond cancer. There's life beyond darkness, and there's light beyond darkness. And that symbolism of that, the light entering our life, is what gives me peace. And when I allowed the light of God to come into my heart, that's when I started feeling at peace and that joy that I would be okay. And I had to surrender that even if I wasn't going to be okay, it was still going to be okay. It was a deep soul-searching that I had to let go of my pride, let go of the person that I thought I was and the outcome that I wanted for myself. I painted a picture of my life. I'll get to that later in the story where we were going to move. And we had a little plan already, a five-year plan. I had to let go of all of that because I know God had a better plan for me. And I'm living in that plan now. Rick, we're looking forward to part two of your story in your journey of faith and how God has led you. Again, thank you so much for joining us. And to the audience, we want to say thank you for joining us as well. If you would like to connect with Rick or if you have any questions for Rick, you can contact us at loveshape.life. Just send us an email and we will set you up with Rick and see if there's any way we can help you in your journey as well. May God be with each and every one of you.