The Francisco Show: Sprite Pear Esque

You know what? The world happens to you sometimes. Yeah. You know, it's a fuckin' shit show sometimes. You wake up and you go, Fuck my life. I'm ready to fuckin' go. Send me to hell or wherever the fuck you want to go after you're done. If you think you get reincarnated or you fuckin' just turn into fuckin' worms and mushrooms. Whatever you want. You're a tree hugger and shit. You fuckin' think you turn into a fuckin' beautiful flower. Whatever you want to think. Personally, I think I'm going to just turn into... I think reincarnation is kind of true. But I don't think it's the same as coming back to the same Earth. You know what I mean? It's like you probably fuckin'... I don't know. You probably end up going to some other realm that just has other different kinds of beings. It's like a different Earth, right? With little fuckin' weird worm creatures and shit like that. I don't know. What do you think? As most of us can learn, Sprite actually graduated with honors from UNM. He's actually a scientist. So don't let his words make you think he's not educated. Man, he's up there. I'm very educated. So folks, I hope you're doing good. I hope you're doing as good as you can. I know it's not easy. Inflation is fucking us all. It's fucking you. It's fucking me. I know. And I'm feeling the pain. I'm a blue-collar working brother like the rest of you. I'm a blue-collar brother. Remember, at the end of the day, this show is not left or right. This is just a comedy show for regular blue-collar working people. I don't care who you vote for. Just enjoy some comedy. Yeah, nobody really cares. I mean, honestly, there's some people who are so up their ass about, Oh, are you blue? Are you red? It's like Crips and Bloods. I mean, come on. Just get a fucking... Get a hold of it. In some sort of way, right? You might as well just fucking accept that, Hey, look, somebody has a different belief. Fight for what you think is right. Leave what they fucking want alone and just fucking move along on your way. Just forget about it. Just do what you want to do and we'll do what you think is right. Let's go into story time. Let's go into story time right now. I'm going to tell you guys a story about the one time when I was 11 and my mother asked me something and I replied with, Why do you give a fuck? Yeah, no, literally, as soon as those words left my mouth, I was on the ground. I was like, whoa, what happened? I just got hit in the face harder than fuck. I'm not going to lie to you. I stayed on the ground. Me levanto, me otro chingados. I just stayed on the ground. But the point is, sometimes your kids deserve it. Oh, yeah. And then when they tell you, No llores, porque te doy una razón para que llores. They tell you, If you don't have a reason to cry right now, I'll give you a fucking reason. But they just gave you a fucking reason though. They just smack you in the face and then they're like, Cry, bitch. How about, test me. It's a beautiful work of art. It's what makes men, men, I guess. No, it made me a man. I remember. To this day, I'm 29. To this day, I still remember that smack. You ever got hit by your parents? Oh, yeah. And you deserved it, huh? Oh, yeah. You were a horrible kid. Oh, yeah. I deserved that shit for sure. What did you do? If I had a kid right now, and he did that, what I did to my dad that time, What did you do? Tell us. I think I fucking, I think I popped my own tire on my own bike. Because I didn't want, because he told me that I couldn't go out because I did some other shit, which I also got my ass whooped for. Right? And so I was like, being a little piece of shit. And he had just bought me a new set of tires for my bike that I had. Which I think was probably stolen. I probably took that from somebody. But he bought me, he bought me some, He loved you. He loved me enough to not hit me for that one. And so he, and so he, I popped my own tire that he had just bought me. You know, and you know how, you know how the tires have the inner tube? Yeah. And yeah, I popped that fucking tire. And he was doing something. And I, he had a fucking, like a PVC pipe. And he, and he just fucking grabbed me. And he fucking bent my ass over. Boom. One, one clean hit. Boom. How did he know you popped it though? Because I was right there. I was right there. And I came out pissed as fuck. Whatever. And then he just grabbed me. And then he just fucking hit my ass. He just hit me. He just hit me. One clean hit is all it took. I remember that one. I mean, there's some that you remember now, but that's a, that's a pretty, that's a pretty hard one. I mean, a PVC pipe to the fucking cheek. That's pretty fucked up. You know what I mean? I don't know. I've never gotten hit with a PVC pipe. I've gotten LaBelle's. Oh yeah, LaBelle. That's great. Sounds like a good one. The PVC pipe. I remember the, the wood from work. The old wooden spoon is a good one. Oh my God, bro. The old ladle. Oh my God. Have you, have you ever heard of a raw meat guy? Raw meat, raw meat, raw meat daddy pause. Oh yeah. Um, he's the, he's the guy that eats the liver. Chicken. No, he's chicken. He eats the raw chicken. He's been eating raw chicken for the past 30 days. No. And yeah, he's, he's, I just watched this guy. There's people on Twitter I'm obsessed with, and I just watched them do disgusting things. This guy eats raw chicken. If you really want to see it, go on Twitter or X, whatever you call it, and look up raw meat daddy and just watch this guy. He raw chick. I'm just, we're in day 20 and he still has not gotten it. You're talking about what you're talking about. Like we are. So you're, you wouldn't even buy chicken too, huh? No, no. Hold on. Hold on. You're saying where you said, Flora, we, we, you and him. Oh, no, I'm not eating raw chicken. I'm not a resource. He is. He's eating chicken on his own for fun. For a science experiment. Is this scientific? No, he's just a guy trying to get boosts on Twitter. All right. He said, if you want to get viral, um, he just recommend the raw chicken. Otherwise he can't. I don't know how to help you. That's how he got famous. Hey, it looks like it'll fucking work, I guess. I don't know. Speaking of retards, let's talk about Aaron Bushnell. Do you know Aaron Bushnell? No, I don't. I, uh, I actually just, uh, got off of a fucking, uh, I don't, I don't fucking, I don't know anything that's happening right now. Well, matter of fact, matter of fact, I was still in the nut sack when you were about eight. What? Well, I don't even know any of this shit that you pay attention to. I don't, I don't know what you, what you, what you know. I just met you at the bar last week. What are you talking about? Sprite has Down Syndrome. For those of you who don't know, he does have Down Syndrome, but that doesn't stop him. He's an incredibly hardworking individual. We're the people. He set up the studio for us, you know, for a reason. We're recording. We're recording. We're recording. We're recording. We're recording on an iPhone right now. We're on an iPhone 5S. Exactly. And he's, he's doing it. Yeah. So we say, speaking of retard, Aaron Bushnell, all day, I've been asking people, do you know this name? And everyone, most regular working people, not on Twitter or social media, will tell you, I don't know who that was. I have no idea who it is. And I'm going to tell you Sprite. I'm going to tell the public. Aaron Bushnell was an individual who, who got a bottle of Sprite, and he said, I don't know who that was. He said, I don't know who that was. He said, he got a bottle of gasoline, poured it over himself, and lit himself on fire as a protest to free Palestine. Hmm. And, and, and it, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be the first person to do that, but. Oh yeah. Self-avoliation is common. But what's funny is, every article keeps saying is, his last words were, free Palestine. Free Palestine. But if you watch the video, the whole unedited video, his last words were, free Palestine. Ah! It's burning. I think that's a good reaction. Those are his first words. Real last words. And I, and folks, I'm gonna, don't set yourself on fire. Please do not, and I gotta repeat this, do not set yourself on fire for a political cause, okay? It's all fake. This is all fake. None of this is real. These politicians, YouTubers, streamers, the people you watch, they're all lying to you. They're just trying to get it checked. None of this is real. When the, when you, when you get on the news, and you see, oh, the government's going to shout, and we have money. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. 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