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The transcription is a conversation among sisters discussing intimacy, sex, and personal experiences. They talk about the importance of connection before sex, their individual journeys and perspectives on intimacy, including one sister's experience with a one-night stand, another's initial fear of sex due to religious beliefs, and the varying perceptions of intimacy between men and women. They also touch on building chemistry and the evolving significance of sex as they mature. Welcome to the first episode of SisLabs QQ. I'm joined with my beautiful sisters. You can say your own name. I'm Wembley. Hi. I'm Mikaela. And we are your humble hosts. Okay, let's do this thing. Humble. Not the word I'd use. What are we saying? Debaucherousness. That's not the word. That's the word I'm going to use. And on that note, Mikaela. I don't even know what to say. That's the word. Thanks for coming. There's just this little thing that I've been wanting to talk about maybe with you guys. Lately, there's this thing about the whole sex and connection and how I can sort of, or we can all relate to maybe finding a significant other or something that you may feel like a deep connection to. Or do you guys, I need to know what you guys think about... Sex? What is it about sex that everyone is so drawn about to it, you know? You get to a certain age and it's one of the big things that people are so curious about. It's like, that's all I want. That's all I think about. I think we can stop this. No, no. I need to know more experiences. Am I doing this right? Are you equipped to handle this? Are you doing sex right? Is anyone doing it right? Exactly. Or is there even a right or wrong? No. Lately, yeah, you just sort of get to a certain age like me at the moment. It's like, I feel so connected to some people, but then I'm not sexually attracted to them at all. Lately, yeah, you just sort of get to a certain age like me at the moment. It's like, I feel so connected to some people, but then I'm not sexually attracted to them at all. Do you know what I mean? I think we're comparing if connection is needed for a great person. You know what it's giving right now? It's giving like abstract art. Subjective and are you doing it right? I don't know. I feel you ought to marry one of the groups. No. Intimacy is not limited to rings. I have a bit of a different take on it. I was very... No, don't do that. No, don't do that. I was pretty sex averse. I didn't want to. I was scared of it. Absolutely. I tend to refrain from labels in general because I think that's the type of thing that I'm also pretty wary of. I've come from an environment where you learn about all these types and categories and identities and bits and pieces. I feel like for me to use some of them, I probably don't fit into the category well enough to attribute it to myself. I'm not comfortable using it. Somebody did say semi-sexual. I feel like that probably... What does that mean? I feel like it's less about being attracted to people straight off the bat. You get to know them. As you get to know them, you get to be feeling intimate with that person through getting to know them, a connection. Then through that, you become more attracted to them. Yeah. In a more physical sense, I think. It's been a while. It's been a hot minute. Again, I wouldn't really identify that for the full scale, but I would say for me, I didn't want to have sex. You know this story. The first time my husband tried to hold my hand when we were dating, I froze. We didn't. Okay. I'm sorry. Don't pour your heart out. I'm sorry. It's like revolting. It's like revolting. It's welcome. We didn't kiss until like six months in. That was my choice. Sorry. Yeah, you're revolting. I'm going to take a page out of your book. Sorry. Full disclosure, I married the first boyfriend I ever had. I always tell her that she should have divorced him. That's your brother. She's married to my brother. He gets a free pass on that. I'm like, just leave him down. I'm like, come back. Is that okay? Right. Guys, I mean. Whoa, now. Like, I've had crushes before. But like a very limited amount. And like very much like, it's the same thing. You know, like. Like not even like texting or anything. He blinks at me three times. He must want to fuck me. For me, intimacy has to happen before the sex. Yeah, right. Absolutely. But that's just me as an individual. I can't imagine something like that happening on tour. But, yeah. And as it stands, it's only happened to me. There's only one other person, the intimacy. To lead to that point, anyone. You know how middle is the first person you've ever been sexually with? Yes. Oh, actually. No, no, no. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay, let's realign the term sexual. More like just like, you know, kissy stuff. What do you make out with men? I kissed the whole of the third grade when I was in year two. Oh! Okay, maybe not the whole of the third grade. The whole of the third, like year three to my class. How did you, just went through them? Um, it was, it was. Now that I think about it, it's probably not very politically correct at all. Okay. But we were at a school carnival fair fundraiser type thing at the town hall. Yeah. Um, yeah. It was, well at the end of the day obviously the parents were there, the kids were going to be there. Half the class was there, whatever. Anyway. You have to mention this. Okay. Setting the scene. Yeah. My first sexual fantasy was at a slushie store. Yeah. Fried onions. All the kids, like towards the end of the day, obviously parents were going home, kids were going home. For some reason, all the girls' parents were going home first. Just coincidentally, right? Um, and I ended up being the last girl there. And there was still like the whole of the male cohort of my year three class there, like their parents were just not leaving. I'm assuming it was all just the dads probably chatting about the bus. Early. Anyway, some kid, he was the fastest boy in our class. Wow. He came up with the idea that I was the last girl, we should all like kiss the one girl there. So my first kiss, but you know what, I'm not that mad about it because they were all sweet. Um, and the first kiss I ever had was technically a Spider-Man kiss because he hung upside down on the bike rail. Very romantic. Seven year old me was well ahead of the rest of the girls and then I just fell miserably behind for the next decade of my life. Hey, hey, you got that Spider-Man kiss. It's really cool, like, you know that saying parents say, oh, you know, like if you get growth spurts early on you're going to be shorter. It's kind of like that. I raced through my high phase in one afternoon. I pissed off in two. Oh, I like that. No, but it is important for intimacy, I reckon. It's just, you know, obviously sometimes people have for example like one-night stands and they'll end up going off. I wasn't actually attracted to that person. I don't know, maybe I'm going to do wrong or did I do it all right or what's my next one. And you just wonder, there's a thing where, for example when you're a partner and you just catch habits off each other and you've just got to draw that line and know where to stop it and I guess it's just sort of confusing. I don't know, you get attached sometimes and that person's not attached or whatever. You're wondering. That was just a one-night stand. You're like, oh, but I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as opposed to a one-night stand-up. Oh! How do you feel after your one-night stand? I'm very, I'm not like a I'm not necessarily a sexual person. But I was kind of the same as you. Intimacy and like sexual stuff, that shit scared me. And I don't know if I have a journey when I was 24. So like, obviously race, Christian, have sex with one person you're going to have every STD and you're going to die. Pregnancy, you know. You get the boy, you get pregnant. I couldn't believe that. It was weird because everyone around me, even kind of young, like people 16, 17, 15, they're all having sex. Oh, they get younger. It's a massive thing. And I'm dead like, yeah. That was very weird. It was weird to me because I was like that's for mummies and daddies. We're not meant to be doing that. You can't relate. I never understood because you're like, oh, I have sex with that guy. I went home with that guy. I'm like, why would you do that? When we started clubbing, going out with our friends and my friends would go off with a guy and I just met that guy and went to sleep with him. I'm like... Are you okay? Yeah. When I first... I did other things. No details. I had done other things. The first time was literally really spontaneous. I was with you guys that night. But you wouldn't tell us where she was going. I didn't want to tell anyone. But I knew where she was going. The next morning I was kind of like what did I do? Oh my god. Did you feel dirty? No. I think you put it down. No. I waited long enough. I feel like I can make good decisions. This isn't someone that I knew really. I know a friend of a friend. So I was like, safe enough. I don't remember feeling any guilt or regret or anything. It was really just kind of like, oh, so that's what it's all about. So that's what everyone's talking about. Oh, okay. Didn't have sex again for a while. But it was just interesting to have that experience. Did you get along with that person? Yeah. My question is, is it strictly sex or could you see yourself dating this person? No, strictly sex, I think. I feel like people will want to experience it with other people and it's not necessarily all the time you'll feel like you would want to pursue something with that person. Yeah, absolutely. We go through stages in life where at the beginning we're like, oh my god, wow, what a wonder. And then you're just thinking about it objectively. You're objectively thinking about having it with someone or whatever. But then as you get older, you realize it's so much more than just that. It's like you've got to build the chemistry with someone. Exactly. It could be dinner, man. What does I need before you break it down? It gets more sacred. The more you find out about it, the more it's a little bit more special. My experience was very different. I feel like two guys doing it was very different to how you guys might perceive it. I feel like when it's two men, it requires a lot of trust. For me, I'm a very sexual person. Everyone knows that. But I feel like I do require some sort of connection prior. With the whole you saying that you're a sexual person, I feel like... Personality traits. And it's often mistaken that... I feel like you'll know if I'm trying. Because I won't beat around the bush. I feel like that's what we're doing. Being nice is flirting. Sometimes I don't want to get in your pants. I just like the way that you tell me so. Absolutely. I feel like when I did have sex, I was also older. I was 20. 20? 20. That same night, I recently... But I didn't also have the intentions of doing it straight away. Also that same night. I did prepare myself. You never know where things can go. But I also really trusted the guy I was with. I was kind of like, I've been talking to you for a year. And we've obviously done some other stuff in the past. So when it did come about, I was like, you know what? I'm here now. I may as well. But I've always had opportunities to do it and never pulled through. Because I'm like... This isn't to condone sex, by the way. It's more of like I feel like with you and Linley too, it's an interesting crossover. Bear with me. Hear me out. Because we're trying to tie it back into this idea of sex not being just the physical. It's a little bit more intimate. It's about connection on some level. But maybe that level of connection also has to come from with you guys. So for example, Linley probably just felt particularly anchored, secure and connected with yourself. Where you're like, I'm okay to make a choice. Yeah, for sure. And that fosters the trust in yourself. Which means you can trust the other person. Which is another type of intimacy. Just thinking out loud. Just armchair philosophy. And for yourself, there are these times where maybe it doesn't go through. And maybe part of that is not just the lack of connection with another person or right time, right place for the situation, but maybe the times that follow through are also the times where you yourself are like, I'm connected in the moment. I'm connected to myself. And I'm happy to continue going forward with this. And that person is too. So if you're kind of for lack of a more sophisticated term, if you're both vibing at the same time, that can be enough of a connection to be like, hey, this is the type of intimacy in the moment. It might not be a long lasting relationship situation. But, you know. And I never caught feelings after the first time I had sex. I thought I would, but I was like, okay, yeah, no. But unfortunately I also have this bad track record with the guys I like. And I never caught feelings after the first time I had sex. I thought I would, but I was like, okay, yeah, no. But unfortunately I also have this bad track record with the guys I like. So I always have to guard my heart knowing this is what they want strictly, and I would never go further than that. So I think growing up now, as I've gotten older, it's like, okay, I need both now. I need their commitment relationship-wise, as in, like, if this goes well, I could be a potential partner, and the sex is also there. Not just, this is only sex, don't say anyone, don't tell anyone, it's a secret, blah, blah, blah, blah. I loved the thought of that. I thought it was fun when I was younger. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm a little secret. But as I get older, I'm like, wait, I'm doing myself a disservice here. I'm like, I'm putting myself at risk of getting hurt again and again and again. So yeah, after I got older, I stopped doing that. And I kind of, like, have realized that. I think you helped me realize that. And I didn't listen to Lindley. Obviously, you don't want to hear it, like, you don't want your friends to, like, say that you're hurting yourself. You're like, no, I'm fine. I'm in control. I'm so fine. I'm so fine. And then you get hurt, you get this one big moment, you guys know what I'm talking about, that one moment you realize, like, oh my gosh, this is not it for me. Yeah, exactly. And you're like, okay, let me just move on from that and actually try and better myself first. Like, now, there's no way in hell I'm looking for a partner. I'm not even looking for sex either anymore. As hard as I used to. Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm loving that. And, like, actually talking to someone is a very foreign thing for me at the moment. It is weird, though, for me. You get to a point where the talking stage is just like, oh my god, what's your favorite color? What do you do for work? I hate that. Anyway, like you were saying, yes, talking to someone is really nice. Having someone that you know you can talk to like that everyday kind of just like a conversation. Love that. But, like, small talk. Yeah, I hate the small talk. I can't do that anymore. But, like, for me, what I'm trying to say is what are you doing? I'm ready, you know, to do the other thing. I'm ready for you. Like, what are you doing? No, I love details. I'm sitting in front of the TV. This is the person I'm sitting in. Oh my god, a fly just flipped off my face. I just, yeah. I like that. Like, I had a conversation with a guy last night about cars. Like, do you know what I mean? Literally. And, like, I've never done that. Yeah. Like, I know it sounds really sad, but for someone like me that has only ever been, I'm going to be honest, the sex men openly love doing it, that's a really big thing for me. And it's like, oh, okay. Oh, like, I find myself now starting to, like, go into the sex thing and be like, hold on. Like, this is not what I want right now. And I look at the dumb ass and I'm like, oh, I just, you know. Can we have a can of worms? Yes, I was about to say. Oh. You about to clock me? I'm wondering. Like, okay. Okay. Don't come for me. But, like, is there something in the male psyche that goes, let's just get straight to the visual. We want the IMAX experience, you know. Like, you know, whereas we might be more of an audio book type situation. Or just a slow burn, you know. Like, it depends on who it is as well and if you have that chemistry with that person. And obviously that's not for everybody, but I'm just generally seeking. I find it interesting that you're, like, It's weird to me that I talk about how my day was with someone. It's very foreign to me. And that sounds really bad. It's a really big deal. I get it. I get it. Because, like, I think both of us, or maybe you, like, we started sexting really young? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Did you? No. Behind the bike shed at school. Okay. Just because I didn't do things, okay, doesn't mean my friends didn't do things. Okay. I may not have understood everything at the time but I got the bike, okay. You can have been living the experience from all the talks. I feel like I was the caretaker. The ho-caretaker. After we got our back broken. I was interested in home maintenance. I was like, are you hydrated? Have you got a good way home tonight? Me with you, though. Anytime you're not where you live, Who are you with? And she doesn't even tell me where she's going half the time. I had to look at her phone that night and, like, look over and see if she was texting and I said, I was like, you bitch, why don't you say anything? Because... Yeah, you guys have my location. Now I'm scared of getting killed. Are you serious? You would not catch me driving to Jindalup or somewhere? No! Great catch! End the fucking episode! Or catch me going to Corbyn. Orbyn Grove! Yeah, catch me in a car park. In a random Maccas car park. Do we have the groupie? Yeah, like, I feel like everyone is tied down to having that having that, yeah, something to relate with someone and, you know, small talks and whatever else, it's all just it ties down to connectivity with the person, I guess. Because if you don't feel connected to that person, then you won't really feel comfortable with even, like, chilling with them, you know, as little as watching a movie or, you know, if you don't make me laugh or, yeah, if you don't call good sausage sizzling. Don't kiss me! Don't kiss me! Upside down. If you can't do a Spiderman kiss, then what are you going to do? Yeah, exactly! Give me some rain! My question though, just to summarise that, yes or no, I'm going to ask each of you, do you think that connection will make for better sex, or no? Honestly, absolutely. Yes, hundred percent. Yeah, I think it will. Doesn't mean you can't have good sex with people that you don't necessarily have a connection with, but definitely a connection will almost always make it more enjoyable. Exactly. Because, yeah, sharing yourself with someone. And I feel like sex is actually a really big thing. As I got older, I was like, it's like the chair on top of the cake, not the entire cake. It's a very small fraction of what it is. Yes, it's great, but I really think it's good for, like, helping to build a connection. If you have a strong connection, let's build on that. Or let's maintain something. It's a good maintenance thing. After an argument, love that. Okay. You can't tell me I'm lying. I love argument. I know you just do it after an argument. I feel proud of that. I can't say it on camera. Are they in the room? Oh. He's just doing an NDA. I can't say anything. I'm not putting that on now. Till now. Icky, icky. Have you ever seen, like, You should know your nose? She thought it meant, like, icky, icky. Sometimes people react Icky, icky. I thought it was a reaction. And if you sent it on the text, I was like, babe, that means you should know your nose. It was a giggle. It's really good to see some insights from obviously different, really, really different perspectives. You know, male, married. Four. I didn't want to say about shoes today. Oh my god, guys. Really good topic to, like, something that everyone wants to gather information about. I know. I have a tattoo. I think this is the right choice to start off with something like this and go, hey, that's a big, but such a small part of being open and being open to different people. Okay, these guys are going to get deep about topics that no one talks about with us. It's very taboo, I feel like, in our culture. Yeah. Even talking about it out loud. Yeah. Talking to people is a part of our culture. Exactly. Yeah. I like it. Do you feel like connection is... What I was about to say is that, you know, I wanted to spill some tea because I do feel like it is very, very important these days now that I couldn't... But then, I sort of just, like I said earlier, objectified sex. But, you know, it's just so much more than that. You might get half of it. You're getting flicks in your brain, right? Yeah, like, for me... I'm like, oh my gosh, wait a minute. For me, attraction is not just being attracted through the look. It's deeper than that. Like, I connect with you in so many levels. I could have sex with you if I wanted. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, I would feel comfortable. I'd kiss you, I'd kiss you, I'd kiss you. Like, do you know what I mean? But I know what you mean. In a way, like, I want my significant other that I will share myself with to have a connection that I have with you guys. You know, because that's comfortability for me. Like, I can tell you anything and feel like I'm not being judged for it. Exactly. We're not going to go sex as a person. It means less to me now. It's going to be like, it's a questionable choice. But I'm used to that. I'm used to calling you in the home maintenance. Alright, guys. I think we're almost at the end of the episode. Our first episode! Good job, guys! Thanks, guys. Thank you for bringing it on. I love it. Michaela, you started us off. Did you want to say goodbye? Thank you. Thank you for tuning in. Hope to see you all soon. Interact, like, subscribe, do the thingy. I'm not going to do the thingy. Thanks for watching. Bye!